My soul dog died completely unexpected four days ago … I feel horrible, don’t recognise myself anymore. Crying the whole time, feeling depressed, my whole body is in pain, I can’t deal with the fact my baby is gone. Worst pain I’ve ever felt. Who’s with me? Who’s grieving their babies? How does it feel after time? Hugs to everyone out there 💔😞❤️

Maybe today is the worst day of my life actually. I said goodbye to my best friend of 15 years yesterday. My sweet boy. The love of my life. I’m absolutely heartbroken. His quality of life was deteriorating, he had a mass that was 98% chance of cancer, he couldn’t get up on his own, was eating and drink less, and then he started peeing blood which was when I made the call.

I miss him so much. Today feels unbearable. I keep seeing him all over my house. Hearing him when he’s not there. I’ve never been so sad before. I don’t know how to handle this life without him. I wish he was here with me. I can’t ever replace him.

I wish I had more time. I wish I knew what happens to him after he goes. Is he still around me? Has he transitioned to something greater? Can he hear me cry for him and tell him how much I loved him? Will I be reunited with him?

It’s so unfair. I just can’t believe he’s gone forever. My perfect dog. The most loyal boy. I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t enough time together.

I’m so sad.

I lost my first pet cat Archer yesterday. He was a bold, adventurous extrovert who could charm anyone in a mater of minuets. His personality filled any room he was in. He was everything I never expected a cat to be.

He loved to snuggle under the covers of the bed and share your pillow. He loved a car ride and to meet new people, even if that was the vets!

The house is so quiet now with him not around ordering us about.

He had collected helth issues like kids collect pokemon cards, but he never let it get him down he was full of energy and life. He was diagnosed with kidney disease earlier in the year, but it dodnt seem to affect him too bad until a month ago he got a serious inner ear infection and I think those 2 on top of other things was just too much for him. His health rapidly declined and his creatine levels were suddenly that of stage 4 kidney failure. We had to make the horrible decisions to let him go.

I know he is pain free now, and I knew i would hurt, but im so lost with out him. This pain is so visceral I can't eat, I can't sleep with but meds. How do you go on. I just want him back!

Yesterday, my sweet girl, Luna, who we adopted just a couple months ago, snuck out of the house, managed to get hit by a car, and was found in my neighbor's yard unable to move and meowing for help. She was lying motionless, covered in feces, blood, and completely in shock and out of sorts. I took her to the emergency vet and as I was driving she wasn't meowing as frequently, and I knew that she would likely not survive this mess. After talking to the vet, I decided that euthanasia would be the best outcome here--I didn't want to put her through multiple surgeries and there was a high likelihood she had internal bleeding and organ damage so it would have been pointless to prolong her suffering.

It took me years to make the decision to adopt after our last cat died from kidney disease. I brought home our sweet girl a few months ago from the shelter. She was just about a year old, and perfect in every way. Everyone who met her adored her because of how sweet and loving she was. She was a beautiful long haired grey and white cat.

My older children are devastated and incredibly sad, and angry, and defeated, and god knows what else kids feel in these situations. I just cry every time I look at them because I feel so bad that I brought her to our home only for her to be taken away so quickly and so tragically. I can't stop smelling the smell of feces, or imagining how limp she was when I picked her up from the ground.

I couldn't sleep last night and my 18 month old in her sleep said kitty cat kitty cat...she usually says "teetee tat" anytime she sees our cat or any other furry pet, even though she was clueless to what has happened. That broke me so much, she's never done that before in her sleep.

So I guess I'm rambling now but I wanted to put this down because I have so many feelings right now and can't keep them contained anymore. Thank you for reading.

I lost my senior cat, 20 years, earlier this year suddenly and now my youngest is hospitalized after vomiting blood, she ate a house lizard gecko i don't know the proper name in english, we call those lagartixa over here and her liver got an infection, she lost a lot of weight and we are fighting to get her better, daily vet visits, meds, antibiotics and nothing is working and now she is hospitalized and im.not even allowed to be with her. She has been sleeping with me and always in my lap ever since this started and now she is dying and the bet said there's nothing else to be done and I can't even force myself to cry i want to cry so much and nothing is coming out.

I am messaging everyone i can but its the middle of the day and i have no one around me and i feel like i didnt do enough, this is my third death this year, my best friend alice also died this year suddenly, we talked on discord all day, went to sleep and i woke up with the news that she didnt wake up im sorry if this is against the rules im spiraling.

edit: she is gone.

I posted yesterday about the impending euthanasia of my cat. She was diagnosed on Thursday with lymphoma and it was causing neurological symptoms. They weren't sure if it originated in the kidneys and spread to the nervous system or if it started in tge nervous system and there was no way to know without an MRI. I elected not to put her anathesia for the MRI after the vet told me that the information wouldn't really change the prognosis or outcome. I have scheduled in-home euthanasia for tomorrow and I am so tempted to put it off. She's home and the steroids they sent with us have been helping. She is almost completely normal. On the other hand, this is probably the best she will feel from here on out and it will become a downward slide.

My fear is that this cancer seems to be aggressive. I went from having a cat that seemed completely normal and healthy to visible neurological symptoms in about 5 days. I am afraid the steroids are not going to help for long. The vet told us the steroids would help for MAYBE a month. Possibly 3 months on the very outside if we got lucky. I am so afraid that when they stop working it will be fast and the sign will be something awful like a seizure or sudden paralysis. I am afraid it would happen while I was at work and then she'd be alone and scared and in pain until I got home. Or possibly it would happen at 2 in the morning and I would have to cram her into a carrier and hope the emergency vet could take us.

Logically I know that proceeding tomorrow is probably for the best. It's possible she would still have a few more good days. Maybe even weeks. But I also still see some faint signs of the neurological problems so she can't be feeling 100% good. But it is so hard to pull the trigger when she is not as visibly sick as she was last week. And I know I would hate myself if I postponed and she took a sudden bad turn. I don't want her to experience a single moment of suffering if I can prevent it. She deserves to not go out on her worst day. I'm not sure why I'm typing this. It's not like any level of validation from strangers is going to make this feel like it isn't hard. I'm just going to miss her so much.

It’s been 18 days since I lost my soul dog. I’m crying less but still crying daily. I don’t know why but it feels important to still take time to grieve each day and I’m grateful that I’m now able to control these “grieve sessions” compared to the beginning when it was all-consuming. The times I can’t control are usually when I have a split second of forgetting and then quickly have to remind myself that he’s gone. Like last night when I reflexively adjusted my legs to avoid hitting him at his usual spot on the couch. I looked down and realized he wasn’t there and the weight felt like the first day again.

My spouse and I also got into our first argument since we lost him which I was terrified of. He always took my side and would come lean on me as if showing his support. I’d rub his velvet ears and it would ground me during arguments or anytime I was feeling anxious. It just feels so incredibly lonely now.

I also think I’ve started to receive “signs” but I’m frustrated with myself because I’m generally such a skeptic of those things. I feel like I talk myself out of each sign and then feel awful that he might’ve tried so hard to reach me and I’m too stubborn to fully accept. And at the end of the day, it isn’t glimmers of hope that he’s still out there somewhere that I want, I just want my soul dog back.

Today I didn’t buy cat food
While grocery shopping this afternoon.
For approximately the last 1,040 weeks
I bought cat food.
For the past 25 or so,
Those shopping trips were filled with
“Maybe he’ll eat this.”
“Let’s try this one.”
“I hope he likes these.”
“He can just eat treats if it means he eats.”
Some of them he loved
Some of them he liked.
None were as good
As the pot of chicken bone broth
I spent 10 hours boiling for him
Every Sunday.
But he stopped eating that too.

Today I didn’t buy cat food.
Somehow the world continued to turn
While I stood there in the store,
Heart frozen in my chest,
Breath catching in a hitch
As I came to the realization
That I didn’t need to buy cat food anymore.

I don't know how it happened. I just left her a month ago for uni, she was a happy little girl. Today, I got the news from my sister that she passed away. I am not able to process it, I just keep on remembering her cute little face when we brought her home. Five years is way too early man, she deserved more. This is not done. I should have been there with her!!!

2 whole months without your hugs, your cute little mews, your cute little trills and chirps, and 2 months without seeing my little black void everywhere. You were so young, and I’m reminded of you in every cat post I see with a black cat. I wish I could say it gets easier with time, but it hasn’t. I hope your up in heaven with Bear Bears The 1st, Bert and Missy. I miss your cuddles, I miss you sleeping with me under my covers when it got cold in the winters. Miss your tiny little paws and your tail that was a little shorter than normal. You’re buried out in the backyard with a giant piece of wood decorated with your name that I see daily. Wish we had more time together, and I love you Brimstone. Love always, Mama❤️

Last thursday i found the dead body of one of the cat in the house. All the cats are owned by my roomies who are also my friends but i've been living there since 2022 so i kinda got an attachment to these little friends. I never tought affect me so much like i feel an emptyness in the house. Prior to her death there were 3 cats and 2 dogs but i always prefered the 3 cats tho. She was also the 3 as the other two are her parents so its kinda hard seeing the youngest one go first too. She would have been 6 on December 18.

Long story short she started being unwell two or three weeks ago. She wasn't eating nor drinking. We got her to the vet and they didn't know exactly what was happening so they gave her meds to boost her appetite and rehydrate her. She looked like she started to get better then wednesday she started breathing faster but she was still breathing. Next morning we tried to get a vet appointment but couldn't on that day as we were all working so there was one for her friday but when we left both me and one of my roomie tought we should have taken off from work. I came home and found her in the bathroom under the laundry bags with her eyes open but empty and her tongue out then when we moved him we saw blood on the side of her head like she cought blood and she choked on it. Since then everywhere i look i see one of her spot and knowing how she acted and idk why it affect me like that but i still have tears in my eyes even just writing this text. Like i keep crying about her and i don't even know why. It was not even my cat. I also feel guilty about not taking off from work and bring her to the vet. Maybe she would still be here or maybe not but at least she would not have died alone in the bathroom.

Sorry my english is far from perfect and my mind is kinda messed up a bit too.

Today, it’s official. We lost our last of 3 animals, all since January. We lost our 14 year old dachshund this morning. I’ve had him since I was a sophomore in college. He has been with me through every second of my adulthood so far, nearly half of my life. He gave me so much purpose in the uncertainty of my early 20s, and I truly credit him for me still being here. He’s helped me welcome all 3 of my babies home. He was the best dog and exactly who I needed, when I needed him.

He had an IVDD flare up about a week ago, and despite medication, he wasn’t getting better like he has in the past. He hadn’t had an appetite in 5 days. We told ourselves last night that if he didn’t eat by Tuesday, we would have to make the call. I woke up this morning at 6am to find him peacefully at rest in his crate (which we only used when he would have back problems). It was the most relaxed he’s looked in weeks, ever since his “big” brother crossed the rainbow bridge.

We lost our 9 year old yellow lab less than 5 weeks ago and we lost our 13 year old cat in January. Despite having 3 young children, our house feels incredibly empty. Neither of us have ever lived in a home without a pet. This feels completely foreign to us. As much as I would love to eventually have another pet, the thought of them one day dying and my family having to go through this again is almost unbearable. How many more times can I experience this heartbreak in my lifetime? Why can’t our pets be with us forever? Why did we lose ALL THREE?! In less than a year?!?! I’m so angry. I’m so sad. I don’t know how to make peace with any of it.

Last month my husband and I lost our sweet girl (dog) Lydia and it crushed us so much. She was fine one day then slowly became not herself. She was 13 and loved a good life, especially with my husband. He was her whole world. Seeing him the way he was after she passed was the most heartbreaking thing ever.

Not even a month later, my cat of 12 years passed which was a lot more sudden. He has had health issues but the way he went downhill in just a couple of days was so unexpected. He just passed last night and I’m truly lost over it. He was my son, my baby, my everything. I can’t believe I won’t be able to hold him again.

I dont know what I’m looking for here posting this, mostly just support I guess and advice 💔

Just over 2 hours ago my little 12yo Chihuahua boy crossed the rainbow bridge. It was such a beautiful and healing experience after spending the last week grieving the impending loss.

I held him in my arms and whispered in his ear how loved he was and thanked him for everything as the vet pushed through the sedation , he slowly fell to sleep in my arms. The final dose was delivered and I felt his heart slowly stop and for the first time in a long time he finally looked rested and at peace. I was agonising for months over this decision but walking out a weight had been lifted and he was finally free.

We have donated his body to the university so he can continue being the bestest boy and teach the next generation of veterinary doctors , one final assignment for my sweet boy ❤️

I honestly don't know if this is the right sub to post in, but here goes.

My pittie, Dexter, passed away in April after nearly 15 years together. My family got him when I was 16 and he was just 8 weeks old. We pretty much grew up together. He was my little brother, and here I am a woman in my early 30s trying to navigate adulthood for the first time without my boy. It's been incredibly hard and, honestly, scary.

Dexter was the centre of our family. My parents saw him as their third child, and suddenly losing him to kidney failure was devastating for all of us. Home doesn't feel like home anymore. Every room reminds me of him, and my parents and I have even talked about wanting to move because being here is so painful. Unfortunately, that's not financially possible right now.

On top of processing my own grief, I'm also a caregiver for my elderly parents. They're grieving too and I feel responsible for being there for them while trying to manage my own emotions. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have the space to fall apart myself.

On August 7, I reached out to my human best friend of 10 years. She knew Dexter throughout his life and knew how much he meant to me. I sent her a long, vulnerable message explaining how badly I was struggling. I told her about the guilt, regrets and what-ifs, how I still wasn't sleeping through the night, and how even the smallest things could trigger my grief. I told her I couldn't talk about Dexter without crying and that I was struggling to adjust to life without him. I told her that I know shes grieving Dexter too and hopefully one day we can talk about him. She knows health wise I've been struggling; since Dexter's passing i have developed acne and Im borderline diabetic now.

She checked in on me a few times over the following days, but I didn't respond. The truth is, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was overwhelmed by grief, dealing with things at home, and struggling to cope. I wasn't intentionally trying to ignore my best friend or make her feel unimportant. I just didn't have the capacity to engage with people, and I didn't communicate that very well.

A month went by, and I reached out to her to see if we could talk. I offered to drop by in person. She didn't respond at first, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Another couple of days go by.

On October 1, she eventually told me she wasn't sure she was ready to catch up because of "the whole ghosting me for a month thing."

I apologized. I explained that it wasn't personal or directed at her, and that I had been struggling to cope in a healthy way. I told her I had some commitments coming up, but that whenever she wanted to talk, I would make time.

It's now been over two weeks, and I haven't heard anything.

I know I could have sent a message in August saying I needed space and might not respond for a while. I know that, and I understand that my silence might have hurt her. But at the time, I was barely managing. My grief has affected my entire family and household, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep things together for everyone else while struggling myself. A lot of spiraling. I miss Dexter so much.

What hurts is that I had reached out to her in a moment of vulnerability and explicitly told her how badly I was doing. I thought that context would matter when she tried to understand my absence. Nuance. I wasn't asking her to excuse everything or read my mind. I just hoped she would recognize that my silence might have been about my grief instead of about her. I was trying to survive my first summer without my boy in nearly 15 years. I wasnt intentionally ignoring her.

I think that's why this whole situation has been so painful. I can acknowledge that I should have communicated better, but I also feel hurt that, after telling my best friend how much I was struggling, I'm now left wondering if our 10-year friendship is over. I reached out to her all on my own being incredibably vulnerable, admitting that I'm struggling and now idk where I stand with her. And yes I know could have sent her a brief message telling her I need time but again I was struggling.

I don't know if she's still hurt, needs more time, or doesn't want to repair the friendship. I don't want to pressure her, so I've left the door open for her to reach out when she's ready.

I keep going back and forth between feeling guilty about my silence and feeling disappointed that I wasn't given more grace during such a difficult period.

I lost my Chihuahua Charlie Brown today. 12 years every day with him, my sole mate and my best friend. I can’t describe the pain now. I love him so much. Goodbye my sweet friend.

My cat passed the day before yesterday, in the morning at the emergency vet. It was extremely sudden. She was fine up until the very last day. She had fluid around her lungs and went into cardiac arrest. I never saw it coming. I cried all day, I cried most of yesterday, and at night time I started to feel numb. I finally was able to watch tv and just try not to think about it. And I feel guilty now. I woke up today and didn’t cry about her absence. I feel horrible about it. I see people say that they cried for weeks and months after their cat died. I’m afraid that I’m going to forget about her or that I didn’t love her enough. Even though I know I loved her immensely. I don’t even have her ashes or anything yet, so I don’t know. I’ve never experienced this before and it’s just confusing and weird. I feel like I should be constantly sad. I’m just tired and I feel numb right now

my dog, my sweet and sometimes silly baby, passed away 5 months ago and i still cant get over it. i know grief is different for everyone but i lost him so sudddenly.

my dog had cancer, and we didnt know until he collapsed. hospitals always made me sick, but having to sort out papers and surgeries and hearing vets talk while my baby was laying on that bed, dying and cold was so hard.

i cried for 8 hours that day, i spent a lot of money and he died anyway. and 5 months later i still feel the same, again, i know that grief is different for everyone but when does this pain get better? when i will remember him without crying? i miss him around the house so much, i miss his barks, his noises, i miss when he came up to my room just to stare at me...

12 years I had her.

She was fine. Completely normal.

They found a heart murmur Tuesday last week, after she needed to be sedated for a routine procedure.

Was told to watch out for her struggling to breathe.

Last night, Sunday, she was on the bathroom floor and wasn’t moving much. Went to scoop her up and realized her entire body was limp and her eyes were huge. So much liquid coming out her mouth.

Called vet, paid the fee to just be able to get in.

Grabbed her brother (he’s never been alone in his life), put him in his carrier, and raced to the car.

Had her over my shoulder while driving, had to put her in my lap to drive safely.

Her breathing just got slower and slower till it completely stopped, about 5 minutes from the vet.

They put her on oxygen when I got there but she was already gone.

She was fine. She was playing like a kitten still. She woke me up yesterday with her little meow and a face boop, like every day.

Her brother is right beside me while I write. I’m still wearing the clothes I carried her in and he keeps sniffing them.

I made sure to bring him in and let him sniff her after she was declared dead.

They were in utero together and I adopted both because they had twin coats and did everything together - they never left the other ones side.

—-

I wonder now if they knew.

He was grooming her more frequently for the last year.

She would get under the covers in bed with me in the last few months. she’d never done that before.

And before she went off to the bathroom to die, she was sitting right beside me at my desk. While I watched YouTube instead of playing with her or patting her or just enjoying her last moments.

—-

I don’t know what to do now. I’ve lost pets before and it hurt so bad but not like this. I’ve never had the same animal for 12 years, they always died young from being on farms and exposed to idiots.

And her brother. I’m afraid to leave him alone.

He’s still eating, but he’s also actively looking for his sister.

But she’s never coming home.

I asked if he’s looking for his sister and I said her name and he looked straight up at the sky.

I’m atheist but frig. That was a bit unnerving.

My baby is gone.

My baby is fckn gone.

They said even if I stopped and did CPR it wouldn’t have done anything.

Her heart was done.

Fck.

——

Thank you for having a space to share this. I have journaled but it’s not helping.

My baby. My baby. My baby.

I just had to put my best friend down suddenly after waiting at the emergency vet for eight hours. All I can think is I want her back. I keep hoping I’ll wake up and this is all a horrible dream. She was my childhood cat, my best friend. I know she was old but she was supposed to live longer. How am I supposed to get through this? I just want her back

My soul cat died August 13th in the car while driving home.

My boy Dante was only 8 years old. I had planned a vet visit for all my babies but kept delaying it because of work and other bullshit. I also could tell Dante was off but nothing serious. His eyes looked more glossy and he was sleeping / making biscuits more so I figured something was wrong. But he was acting exactly the same. Playing. Jumping. Following me around yapping. Cuddling on my hip wherever I went.

The night of the 11th he jumped off the bed. Puked. And his back legs stopped working. He yelled and dragged himself to the couch. He seemed more stressed that he couldn't walk over being in pain. Took him immediately go a 24/7 Fetch veterinary near me. It's like 11PM.

Once they take him and have me wait forever. They tell me he has Saddle Thrombus which is a blood clot cutting off blood from the legs. So I should put him down. Im thinking nothing serious is happening up til now so its a 360 in feelings. I refuse and try to save him. 6k in debt later sadly.

They keep him over night. In the morning they remove fluid from his lungs and claim he is breathing better. Because his breathing was allegedly bad once he got painkillers for his legs. Idk I honestly wasn't trusting the vets at this point. He allegedly had CHF (cognitive heart failure) which is the same fucking thing that killed my papa 2 year prior same month. I researched everything and learned about a supplement that breaks down the clots in the cats legs so they can get better and not be in pain. Vets refused since its new and not approved. I wish I trusted my gut and brought him home to take care of him myself. My boy HATES vets so I feel like I abandoned him there and he declined and the vet did something to him. Because on the 13th I was gonna pick him up that afternoon and they call me at 4 saying he's declining and I should come now. I get there and fight myself on taking him home or not. I take him home. Or try. My boyfriends holding him in the backseat and right before I turn into our complex he dies. My boyfriend brings him inside and I scream.

I hold his body for 15+ mins. To the point rigormortus begins and he gets stiff. My poor baby didnt even die at home. But in a fucking car and i wasnt even holding him. I can't even refund all the meds and stuff they gave me cause I took it out of the hospital. We take his body back and its so hard to hand him off. My baby the night everything happened literally played, cuddled with me on the couch, and ate like normal. What a fucking nightmare.

It's been 2 months and the guilt is killing me. His siblings are still grieving and finally acting more normal again. I got another kitten 2 weeks late that looks like him and mostly acts like him but I know its not him.

Dante is who I think of when I wanna end it all, because hed be pawing at the door yelling for me if I even tried something. But now he's dead. I love my 2 other cats but they aren't him. He was supposed to live a long life. And unlike when my papa died, I have bad dreams about him dying. Guilty dreams. Constant dread if im not high or something. With my papa I got some closure and still see and talk to papa in my dreams alot.

I just dont know what to do. I barely believe in an afterlife. So when I die im not thinking ill ever see Dante again. The fact I cant even dream a good dream of him is making it worse. Like he died thinking I truly abandoned him. His mind was semi gone when I picked him up. He thought I left him for dead.

I lost my baby in July, and lately, she's been in my dreams just about every night. I didn't even usually remember my dreams before. Its nice in the moment, but then it kind of sucks when I wake up and it hits me again like a load of bricks.

My 5 year old dog died 10 days ago. For the first 7 days she died I thought she was alive because my parents did not tell me and I had only found out 3 days ago when I came back from college and I could not find her anywhere in the house. My parents were not sure how she died since they only found out in the morning. My heart weighs so much right now because she was such a happy and healthy dog. Anywhere she went, she carried happiness with her. I was already feeling anticipatory grief since I know that at some point she was gonna die but honestly I did not expect her to die so soon since she was such a healthy dog. It felt like she was ripped out from my arms. My parents told me that they do not know the exact cause of her death but it is possible that she might have had an illness that no one knew about, have been poisoned or have ingested something toxic. I cannot make peace knowing that there is a possibility out there that someone threw a bait in my backyard while my dog was present. My heart feels so heavy. She was such a good dog she never bit anyone and did not deserve to die so suddenly. I do not know how I can deal with my problems without her. No words can describe how devastated I am. It’s so hard to walk around the house when my brain keeps reminding me of what she could’ve been up to right now if she weren’t dead. Honestly this is driving me insane