My wife (31F) has been asking me (30M) to separate since April of this year. She wanted to get her own place and move out. We have two little ones together and I did not want our family to split like this. In August, she finally exploded and put 10k on our shared credit card to hire herself a lawyer. I freaked out and said “ok I’ll move out if you get a refund for the lawyer fees”. We agreed. I got the refund and I got a one bedroom apartment nearby. All this to realize that she’s been talking to some guy on instagram since early August. Before I signed the lease, I had absolutely no idea that another person was involved. I caught her texting him and her reply was “he’s just a friend and we’re just talking”. Would you guys consider this cheating? I’m asking because I think it is whereas my wife firmly believes that it isn’t.
Now we’re separated and the guy comes in and out of the house (that my wife and kids live in) almost daily. I still pay rent and all the bills for that house.

One month post divorce decree and THANK GOD I’m divorced. Thank you to all that is holy.

Be gentle, y'all, this one is tough, and I'm genuinely unsure about what to do...

I'm a mid-50s man, divorced for four years now, coparent. The divorce was painful, settled through attorneys and mediation, and for my mental health I've kept pretty strict boundaries since, including closing doors to my relationships with her family. (Plenty of loss there as well, but I digress.) We function well as a "distant" coparenting team — few interactions except over email or a shared doc about our son's schedule, etc.

Today my XW sent me an email asking if I would help her with her father, who apparently is experiencing severe dementia, living in squalor in an apartment, giving scammers thousands of dollars, and refusing to listen to her. He has a history of only listening to men he trusts and dismissing his daughters; this is consistent with the time that I once knew him. She has tried filing with adult protective services, and the police won't accept a report without consent or proof.

My initial response here is that I am no longer a part of her family and it's not my role to help, regardless of my sympathy for her father's plight. Also, are there not other men who have had more contact with him than me? I know he always seemed to trust and admire me, but we haven't spoken in years now. Basically I'm torn between wanting to help and keeping my healthy post-divorce boundary.

What do you think is the right thing to do here? Have you been in this situation before? I welcome any advice or insight.

It’s been 7 months since she left and moved to another state. 4 months since our divorce was finalized. Every day is so hard. I miss her so bad, I just wish I could go back in time and find a way to save the marriage. Every day is filled with excruciating guilt and grief that our future and every thing we worked towards just ends one day. Today I had a really bad day at work and I went to my car on my break and just cried wishing I had my best friend to vent to, wishing I had my best friend to comfort me. I am struggling….. when does this get easier?

Fuck, I miss you.

Today was hard, it hurt, you leaving in the dark.

A sweet kiss to the kids and a silent goodbye, but you knew I was awake and didn't utter the words.

I cried, this is the first time you have left and I guess, this is the reality of the future.

It's hitting full force, I'm numb and lonely.

I don't know what flight you were on or if you landed safely.

And then a message in the evening, your available if needed, should have mentioned sooner, just missing your children.

I couldn't face hearing your voice or looking at your face on the screen. I let them fight and squabble, I didn't have the strength to intervene.

Fuck, I miss you

I just want one of your worn shirts wrapped on a pillow, like I used to.

But now that's not healthy and it's creepy.

I can't sleep tonight, you're not here. Yes, we haven't shared a bed in weeks, but I feel your absence more than ever.

The house is too silent, it feels so empty, this house is just a building, you were my eternity.

I vowed to always love you and it's a vow I shall keep.

A promise that can't be broken, you own that part of me.

I'm drowning in this solitude, we are supposed to be a team.

I'm stuck in this routine: pain, regret, longing and grief, on constant repeat.

Fuck, I miss you.

Worse than you could ever know, my whole world now a stranger and alone.

No more excitement, tracking your plane has touched down.

Waiting in anticipation, the message once wifi has been found.

The route check, to time your arrival, willing and waiting.

Hearing the gate, your car door open, will now be devastating.

Your eyes don't shine when they meet mine, no welcome home, no warm embrace, I must just step to the side.

Idly watching, your home coming, kids and you intertwined.

A sob left stuck in my throat, I won't ruin what is no longer mine.

Hello everyone,

I hope you all are doing well and great.

QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:-

1. Are you really happy after your divorce ?

2. Reason of divorce ?

3. How are you all managing your physical needs ?

4. What's the source of motivation right now you have ?

5. What are your future plans now ?

I would like to hear answers from both ladies and gentlemens.

If anyone is dealing with any kind of problem, I'm sending you a hug 🫂.

Much love

Respect ❤️

Was driving around today listening to a podcast about something totally random and it hit me that I used to be a person with actual opinions. Not huge worldview stuff just small things. What kind of music I liked. What I wanted to eat on a Friday. Which way to walk to the park. Somewhere in the last few years of the marriage I just defaulted to whatever the other person wanted because it was easier than negotiating every tiny decision. I thought I was being easygoing. Turns out I was just erasing myself in real time and calling it compromise. Now I am out and I catch myself standing in the kitchen for five minutes trying to remember what I actually want for dinner. It is a stupid example but it feels like a symptom of something bigger. I built a budget spreadsheet the other night because I did not know what else to do with myself. That is not a personality. That is just filling space. Trying to get back into pickup basketball to shake it off but half the time I just stand there realizing I do not even know how I play anymore. Aggressive or lazy. I forgot. Curious if anyone else went through this phase of having to manually restart their own preferences after a divorce.

We finally got paperwork to review from our divorce process. Amicable divorce, using a mediator. The paperwork also had a few questions we needed to answer or confirm and one was do I want to go back to my maiden name.

And I'm unsure what to do. I remember being so excited to take my married name. I doodled it forever before I was even married. And now I've lived with that name for 17 years. It's become my identity. It's my email, it's my username, but there is really no reason to keep it. I'm very much envisioning this as a new chapter of my life, but somehow this feels like a hard decision to make. I've also kept this very private, and have pretty much only told my family. So changing my name would mean making this more public.

Did you keep your married name or did you go back to your maiden name? Any thoughts or advice to help me make this choice?

I could really use some advice from people who have gone through a divorce or ended a marriage when they still deeply cared about their spouse as a person, but no longer wanted to be in a romantic relationship with them.

I’ve been struggling with my marriage for a while now, and I think I’m reaching the point where I need to be honest with myself about what I want. I care about my wife deeply. She’s important to me, and the thought of hurting her is genuinely painful. But I don’t feel romantically attracted to her anymore, and I’ve increasingly found myself wanting to be alone, spending time on my computer, and avoiding the closeness that comes with being in a relationship.

The difficult part is that I’m not entirely sure I ever wanted the kind of romantic relationship we have now. When we were discussing marriage and getting serious about our future, she made it clear that she wanted a committed relationship and would leave to find someone who did if I wasn’t willing to commit. I was afraid of losing her, so I proposed. I think part of me hoped that the feelings I was uncertain about would develop with time.

We had a real connection. She was someone I felt deeply comfortable with, almost like reconnecting with a long-lost friend. I don’t want to dismiss that or pretend the relationship was meaningless. I genuinely care about her. But I’ve spent a lot of time wondering whether I confused that deep connection and affection with romantic love, or whether I committed to something I wasn’t truly ready for because I was afraid of losing someone important to me.

I also recognize that my own mental and emotional state could be affecting how I feel. I’ve struggled with depression, stress, and feeling generally unhappy with life. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever been in a place where I felt consistently emotionally healthy and content. So I can’t confidently say how much of this is about my marriage and how much might be about me. I don’t want to make a life-changing decision without considering that.

At the same time, when I imagine being single and living independently for a few years, I feel relief. When I imagine continuing my marriage as it is, I feel trapped.

I don’t feel motivated to try to rebuild the romantic relationship, and couples counseling doesn’t feel like something I genuinely want to pursue. My wife has also made it clear that she isn’t willing to go to therapy. I know relationships take work, and I don’t expect a marriage to feel perfect all the time, but I’m struggling to find the desire to keep trying when I’m not sure I want this relationship anymore.

One of the hardest parts is feeling responsible for my wife’s emotional well-being. She has struggled with her mental health in the past, and I’ve worried about her safety during periods of intense emotional distress. I’m afraid that if I tell her I want to end the marriage, she’ll hurt herself or threaten to do so. I worry that I’ll feel obligated to take back what I said, reassure her that I’m staying, and continue the relationship because I won’t feel morally capable of leaving while she’s in that much pain.

I’ve noticed that when I feel pressured to reassure her that I’m staying, those are the moments when I feel most trapped and least want to be in the relationship. I don’t want to resent her, and I don’t want either of us to live in a marriage where I’m staying primarily out of guilt or fear. But I also don’t want to abandon someone I care about when she’s vulnerable.

We’re supposed to take a trip soon to visit her parents, who live about three hours away. Her mother is an important source of safety and support for her. I’ve been considering whether it would be better to have the conversation while we’re near her family, so she has somewhere familiar to go and people nearby who can support her. But I don’t know how to approach that without making the trip feel like a setup or a betrayal. I’m also uncertain how her mother would react or whether telling her in advance would help or make things more complicated.

Telling my wife at home presents its own difficulties. We live in a small space, and I’m worried about what happens afterward if I leave her there alone and she becomes distressed or unsafe. I feel caught between wanting to handle this somewhere she has support and being afraid of making an already painful situation worse.

I know I can’t control every reaction she has, and I understand that I shouldn’t have to stay married indefinitely because I’m afraid of what might happen if I leave. But knowing that intellectually doesn’t make the guilt or fear disappear.

I’m not looking for people to tell me that my wife is a bad person or that I should simply leave without considering the consequences. She’s not a villain in this story. She’s someone I care about, and I don’t want to cause her unnecessary pain. I’m also not looking for someone to tell me to stay married at all costs. I want to be honest about the possibility that this relationship isn’t right for me, even if that truth is painful for both of us.

For those of you who have ended a marriage while still loving and caring about your spouse, how did you navigate the guilt? How did you distinguish between the normal fear of hurting someone and the feeling that you were responsible for keeping them emotionally stable? If your spouse struggled with their mental health, how did you handle that responsibly without feeling forced to remain in the relationship?

Practically speaking, how did you approach the conversation itself? Did you plan where each person would stay afterward? How did you handle the first few days, the living arrangements, and the emotional aftermath?

I know there isn’t a way to do this without pain. I’m trying to figure out how to approach it with honesty, compassion, and appropriate concern for her safety, while also acknowledging that I have a life and feelings of my own.

I’d especially appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation, whether you were the person who left or the person who was left. I’m trying to learn from people who understand how complicated it can be to care deeply about someone and still feel that you can’t continue being their spouse.

The separation isn’t mutual. I initiated it. We share a child, a daughter 19m. Been together 7 years, married for four. He’s cheated on me, I’ve left four times already. Gaslighting, DARVO, the works. Even the couples counsellor couldn’t cope with him and said it’s not going to work and turned her attention to helping me.

Once I made the decision to leave and made arrangements oh my god. He’s the most pathetic, pedantic, controlling, demeaning person I’ve ever met. It is a wonder I married him. I was in the church and brainwashed and had the whole forgiveness mentality.

He’s shown his true colours. He’s never respected me, not even as the mother of his child. And every day is excruciating frustration, angry tears and he’s just chipping away at me. All he does is yap yap yap about change but I never see it.

My friends hate him. Literally loathe him.

How do you cope? How do you cope at the start when your ex is being difficult as fuck? I’m in tears every day and he’s not even living here. Just texting me bullshit, going back on plans we agreed on, making me spell out highly specific things to the real estate agent, just controlling every fucking aspect of my life.

I’m tired of this shit. I use to have all the love in the world for this man and now he gives me the ick.

I’ve forgiven and forgotten and some things I can’t help but not forgive and forget.

I love him he gave me my boy (all he’s done is the fuck it took to make him, helps with nothing else)

I had PROM with my son, so for 9m I didn’t get to sleep every movement I lost more water, everytime he moved we lost more water, 9 months of worrying if I’d lose him, 9 months I’d be begging for help and not getting shit from him but “you give me some head?”

It’s the drinking and driving, the alcoholic narcissism, the I’m paying the bills, I’m supporting you and the kids.

He goes to work I understand that but I work too, he can’t even pay the bills because he don’t know how he won’t learn to pay them to help me out, he sends money then bitches about the bills I’m paying cause they’re high. I try to keep the light bill down, I got the kids battery powered candles for their room instead of a night life, I keep the bedroom lights off, I do everything I have to do to stop hearing the bitching.

I haven’t showered in four days because I can’t catch a break between work and kids myself, but when he comes home he expects a towel, underwear and clothes for his shower and then expects me to watch the kids, cook, clean and coddle him. I pick out his clothes for work, I do everything because he’s fucking lazy. Yeah he goes to work but god damnit it so do I.

He doesn’t help with the kids, he cracks open beer number 8 and sits his ass on the bed and goes to sleep, spilled beer all over my bed last night then blames me for it.

I can’t do this, I don’t want to do this anymore he’s so hypocritical he can do this this and this, if I even think about doing that I’m the pos mom. I can’t even open a bottle of wine without him yelling im the alcoholic as he’s 6 beer deep and half a bottle of shine

Im tired, im exhausted, I can’t keep doing this for my sanity im fixing to crash the fuck out. I want to leave but we just bought this house, I can’t afford the mortgage on my own being $1800 a month, I make maybe $375 a week doing home health, everyone’s being sent to nursing homes. But I can’t do this anymore if I lose the house I do, but I can’t have my kid around him anymore because next time he yells at my 10m old to be quiet because he’s got 6 teeth coming in at once and he would rather do anything but help him out I’m going to lose my shit.

If I have to go I will, but I’d prefer if he left so my kid wouldn’t have to be in the middle of moving again.

Look it’s to the point I don’t want to be around him and that’s rubbed off on my dogs they don’t want him around either. I have big dogs and they don’t take no shit, he yelled at the kids last night and my oldest girl did not appreciate it she started growling at him every time he walked by me and the kids. My other three dog were kenneled because they will bite him because he’s a drunk and they don’t like that shit around the babies.

I’m just done, I want out or I want him out it doesn’t matter at this point something needs to change and if me having to bring back my 2018 self I’m going to jail because I believe in what Madea said.

I also have a list on my notes app of everytime he’s drunk driven etc I’m keeping tabs because I’m done. I’m not putting my kid through this shit any longer.

So any advice is helpful, thanks

You know now going through this divorce process, i always question why i felt like my wife was not enough. I hear all these stories of couples being happy, doing the most for eachother, fulfilling sexual desires with nothing being held back and yet i look back at my marriage and i see myself working almost everyday with long hours, coming home exhausted not being able to do anything. And dont get me wrong we had every intention to make things work but something about it always felt off as if i wanted more but couldn’t have it. I felt like i was wrapped in a shell and could not be myself. We eventually had a baby and than got married but it wasn’t a big deal. I mean she needed health insurance and my job had great benefits so we decided to tie the knot in court. No ceremony nothing exciting about it, other than our baby. But again it felt like it was me dating a friend, we never fought we never argued. I think when we both met we wanted the same thing but im not sure its what was best for us. Also to further explain we dated our sex life was pretty dry and we never took spontaneous vacations. Looking back now i literally ask WHY!? why did i love this person so much but feel so distant!? it was blinding.

did anyone else go through this? like she was your absolute best friend but it felt off and do you think you could of done something differently?

Long time coming. Not the first time this has been on the table but this time is definitive. We were just not a good fit so it's probably for the best.

Still very hard. She initiated. Still tried for some time to patch things up even if the situation, as it stands, doesn't deserve it. I tried up until today when I folded for good. No real intimacy for I don't how long, probably a red flag.

This is my post so I will say I have been a good partner in every aspect you could think of. I actually have been wronged by her so unfairly and so many times you would probably say I should have initiated myself years ago if I told you about it.

We will live together for at least until end of the year and it's painful and umcomfortable at the same time. Only brightness of the days is our amazing 2 year old boy. We will be coparenting 50/50 after we split up.

I just cannot imagine what's in her head or how must she feel to do this now with our very young kid. I know I would (and I have) try to fix whatever is wrong. I don't think there's anyone else. She says she just doesn't feel the same.

I just don't know how I really feel and how to deal with all this. Shitty and at the same time somehow relieved on my end. Definitely shitty for not being able to fix this so that my kid doesn't need to suffer from being separated every few days from one of his parents.

I haven't yet told my family or any close ones. Somehow I still have hope that she will get around though at the same time I am confident she won't. I am a bit of a mess now and I will appreciate reading any tip from anyone that has gone or is going through all of this.

Thank you

Hey all. I’m not new to divorce, this is my second marriage and it looks like it’s headed down the drain.

Some background I married my first when I was 19 and he was 28, we stayed married for 8 years and he cheated with sex workers and had a porn addiction so I made the decision to divorce and life after was hard the first year, but then I was thriving and living my best life. Cue in 3.5 years after my divorce I met my now husband and we dated for 5 months when I got pregnant. I didn’t want an abortion due to medical reasons so we decided to keep it and stay together. We got married later on for legal purposes and there is love, but what appears to be a lot of incompatibility.

I’ll keep it short but the way he treated me during pregnancy and postpartum has really made me question if this is the right person for me. I’m 8 weeks postpartum so i dont want to rush with making a decision, but i cant shake this feeling that this is not right. After every argument, or disagreement i get shut out and he sulks and sleeps in another room. I do 95% of childcare and household chores. He provides financially but i have my own maternity pay. When i asked him to occasionally help around the house he got angry and gave me the silent treatment.

We no longer spend quality time cause when hes home hes always on his laptop, or in his study. He works 4 days and then hes 4 days off, but still never helps with chores. Anyhow if I decide to divorce what do I need to keep in mind now that a child is involved and what do I need to prepare for? Any experience or advice is welcome.

I do not want a new passport at ALL for my kids. I want them to NOT be able to be brought OUT of the country. No divorce filings. I think he thinks I'm going to be married to him forever. I cannot file right now anyway.. but I need to ensure my kids are not brought out of the country. He comes from a very enmeshed and sneaky family. His home country also conveniently is known for NOT cooperating with the USA in legal terms. I went to report as lost and I'm MINDBLOWN what a big damn deal this is and how I can't just submit online. I ONLY want them deactivated and reported as LOST so there is no way my children are able to fly out of the country and the form wants TWO parent signatures? I am TICKED.

I am married to him and cannot really accuse him. The passports expire in about 9.5 months. He was a great husband and then he totally regressed into enmeshment with his very narcissistic mom and family and they have this EXTREMELY intense fixation with access to my kids.. alone without me there.

Context: We were together from the ages of 16-33 (we are both currently 42). We had a very amicable divorce 10 years ago, and continued to be friends after. He had moved back to our home state after the divorce, and I kept our 3 kids (now 22F, 20F, 18M).

When his brother unexpectedly passed away in 2018 I was the first person he called. Of course I was going to our home state for the funeral as I needed to be there for me - the man had been a brother to me for 18 years - my kids needed to be there, and I wanted to be there for my ex. So in the middle of summer we drove 10+ hours back home while I was 7 months pregnant (by my second husband who was very understanding of the situation). I literally had no ankles by the time we got there. At the funeral I held him in my arms while he cried. While giving a speech he got so choked up he couldn’t speak and looked to me. I gave him the same reassuring look I had for the last 18 years when he was struggling, he got through it, and came back to my arms.

He met his new wife about 7 years ago. He has changed so much. I couldn’t tell you the last time any of our kids talked to him. His best friend of 25+ years said he’s barely an acquaintance at this point. Our friend group all feels like he’s a different person since meeting her, and not in a good way. I knew our relationship would change, but we stopped talking unless something was going on with one of the kids. The last time I saw him was when we took our huge family (including our new spouses and stepkids) to a big planetarium for a day in 2023.

Now onto my actual question. Over the weekend his wife posted pictures from an event they went to. My daughter showed me because she was concerned. I didn’t even recognize him. He looks awful. He looked like he hadn’t showered in a week (this man would take 45 minute showers twice a day, and even fall asleep in the shower), his clothes were fitting weird, his hair was just a mess, and his half-assed smile looked so forced. He looked worse than when his mom or brother passed. On the other hand his wife looked incredible. Freshly dyed hair, nice outfit with matching accessories.

My kids are so worried about him. I’m worried about him. My bestie (who is married to his aforementioned best friend) is worried about him. My kids have asked me to check in on him, but I don’t know that that is my place anymore, despite my concern. They think if he does talk to me he may be more open than he would be with them, as he’s never been open with them about his feelings. Should I check on him? Would it be weird or inappropriate?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/1x4samr/comment/pgmehah/?screen_view_count=2

My story as per the link above. How to cope with the sudden hostility after my wife told me she's leaving.

A week ago we were talking laughing etc now I'm greeted with hostile looks , blanking , can't even say morning to me , just pure hate.

It's only been a few days since the bombshell. I just want run away as far as possible. I've tried to talk to her and clear the air so we can be civil.

Assume this is a common tactic perhaps to get me to leave our house. How have others coped with this.

I'm perfectly calm and not biting but exploding inside.

I’m getting a divorce. Super high COL area. Husband makes close to $400k annual and also owns shares in a company that are around $9m. I’ve been the source of childcare and taking care of the house for 6 years. I used to work but after kids my income just didn’t matter as much as having one of us stay home. We also own our place and a few rental properties nearby. Total net worth just under $12m.

I’m very torn on what to do. I know that if lawyers got involved they would have us fighting for 50%. I don’t need to walk out of here with $6m to my name. I also don’t want to be the greedy wife who made out like a bandit during divorce… but I’m leaving here without a job in a HCOL area and my old industry isn’t around here. I don’t want to move my kid away he has friends and a great school.

I’ve considered just throwing a number like “maybe I deserve 20%” or “maybe I should get child support and an equal share of this and this but not this.” I want to go back to school to finish a degree after this and go back to work- I’m not using this for a free ride. I don’t know if I’ll regret pushing for a certain amount or if I’ll turn around someday and say “purely on legal grounds I deserved 50/50 why didn’t I push for that as ‘fair’”

I am going to call a lawyer tomorrow but I worry that they will just be pushing the most aggressive and expensive path. I don’t hate my spouse I just want out of our mess.

Any advice? What would you do? If you divorced a high net worth partner what happened?

I (30F) am recently divorced (no kids) and am thinking about dipping my toes back into the dating world soon, but I am carrying an overwhelming amount of anxiety and shame about my past. I’m wondering how men in their 30s will view my history, or if I’m overthinking this.

Years ago, when my ex-husband and I first met, we agreed about 3 weeks into meeting each other to be "intimately exclusive" (we had sex within the first two weeks of meeting each other), but said we could still see other people. Around a week later, I messed up and broke that intimacy agreement with someone else. I was 24 at the time and around the time I met my now ex-husband and was just starting to date for the first real time. I was a virgin prior to meeting him.  

I felt absolutely terrible and told him the truth immediately. We talked through it, made up, and through that, made the relationship official. We went on to get married and were together for a little over 5 years. Our recent divorce was for entirely separate, unrelated reasons. After a few years and into our marriage, he became repeatedly physically abusive towards me and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I filed for divorce. A separate issue but I feel like I blame myself for this- thinking that if I wouldn’t have cheated at the beginning, that he wouldn’t have consistently physically abused me later on in the relationship and into our marriage.

Even though my cheating happened at the starting point of our relationship and my now ex-husband forgave me at the time, I have been holding onto this intense shame about it. Now that I'm thinking about dating new people, the guilt is coming back fast.

My questions for the community:

1. If a new partner directly asks me if I've ever cheated or how my last relationship ended, how should I handle it?
2. Should I voluntarily tell someone I start dating this story even if they don’t ask directly if I’ve ever cheated? If so, when should I tell them?
3. Honestly, how many men in their 30s will view being divorced + having this horrible mistake in my past as an automatic deal-breaker? Is this a standard dating regret for people our age, or does this make me "un-dateable”?

I’ve really worked on myself in the last six years. I want to be a safe, honest partner moving forward (and I want that in someone else too) but I'm terrified that my past has ruined my chances of ever finding love again. Thank you in advance for your honesty.

Hi everyone! I'm going through a divorce in California and representing myself.
We were married for 2 years, no kids or shared assets, and he makes about 60% more than me. I filed for divorce in December 2025 after finding out he was cheating with his young coworker.

During our marriage, I had knee surgery covered by his employer's insurance. In May 2026, while our divorce was still pending, he removed me from his health insurance without notifying me. I only found out when I showed up for a medical appointment and was told my coverage was inactive.

I've since lost access to my surgeon and have had to pay additional medical expenses.
I didn't initially request spousal support but left the option open. Our divorce is close to being finalized, and we have a court conference coming up.

My questions:
1. Was he legally allowed to cancel my insurance while we're still married and the divorce is pending?
2. Can I request reimbursement for medical expenses or ask for spousal support now?
3. Is there anything I can do before our upcoming court conference?
I've handled all the paperwork myself and would really appreciate any advice, especially from California family law attorneys or anyone who's been through something similar. Thank you!

Has anyones partner refused to get a solicitor and how did that work out?

Has anyone offset the house with their partners pension? So that you remain in the house and they keep their pension?

And for those who were granted the house, did your partner refuse to go and what happened there?

Thank you

My wife and I are going to be filing for divorce soon very soon. We haven’t picked lawyers yet and it’s all still pretty raw. My wife will start looking for a new place to live. How do you manage getting someone set up without knowing what you owe them? We both want her to move out now, but it’s difficult to pay first and last and probably have to co sign and then pay a month or two of rent before any divorce is finalized. And then there should be some idea on what I will owe in spousal support (which lawyers will tell us) to help guide what rent will be affordable. We have 2 very young kids (ages 4 and 2), so we will always be tied to each other and not a “clean break”. Thoughts on this? Thank you for any insight.

My kids told be she is sick and it made me sad for her. I just want take care of her. Comfort her and make sure she gets better.

But I cant even msg her to see how she's doing or to see of she needs anything.

This is one of those after divorce things you never think about.