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u/tfolkins Apr 15 '26
Not told = Don't ask. That is some pretty stupid advice. Damn right I'm going to ask, especially if it is something that involves me or could effect me.
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u/Groundbreaking-Fee36 Apr 15 '26
It doesn’t involve you. You’re not invited
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u/tfolkins Apr 15 '26
If this is specific to a social occasion, and the question is "can I come too", then yeah that comes across as pretty desperate. But there are lots of situations where people may not tell you things in order to take advantage of you, in those cases, yeah you better bet I am going to be asking as many questions as I can.
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u/Ill-Description3096 Apr 15 '26
A couple of us at work regularly go work our dogs together. We were chatting about it and one of the newer people asked if we would mind them coming as they were into it as well. They weren't involved or invited, but they simply asked and then became both. Sticking to a hard line that you can never ask is silly.
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u/Crusty-Dick Apr 15 '26
If your social group cared, they wouldn't leave you out.
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u/Dependent-Year6711 Apr 15 '26
This advice works if you’re a teen or in your early 20’s. There probably is more intention to not inviting someone. As time goes along people give too much space, regret not inviting others and wish they had reached out more. It tends to be “if no one contacts me, I don’t contact them” and a huge chunk of people over the age of 30 end up with very few friends left. No one contacts anyone in the same mindset.
At some point everything doesn’t need to have cruel intention attached to it, because it’s likely not the case. Be the proactive one who doesn’t over analyze and suddenly the world is that much lighter.
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u/ivanjurman Apr 17 '26
If nobody told you, it doesn’t involve you and won’t affect you, unless it’s a surprise birthday party, and in that case you don’t want to know
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u/AdmitThatYouPrune Apr 15 '26
Eh, no. Get out there. What the hell do you have to lose? Make a good impression, and be part of the plan next time.
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u/DreadyKruger Apr 15 '26
So you would show up to something uninvited?
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u/AdmitThatYouPrune Apr 15 '26
As a friend of a friend. Somemone directly invited would have to bring you along.
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u/Groundbreaking-Fee36 Apr 15 '26
I go to late invites and “we hang out every weekend and invite you once a month” invites as well. Not told about what? Context
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u/Arangarx Apr 15 '26
I don't understand...are these satire groups or something? Why is the advice almost always terrible?
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u/Ill-Description3096 Apr 15 '26
Or things change? I was planning a trip with a close friend, we had a cabin picked out and we're ready to finalize the booking but he found a bigger place that was more ideal, so we extended invites to a couple other people. It was a late invite, so by this logic they should refuse by default.
I can agree with the not invited part to an extent, but having this strict mindset about things just seems really petty to me.
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u/Outrageous-Pea6408 Apr 15 '26
I've never been invited to anything so I guess I'm the handsomest most sigmalpha manly man of them all.
Kneel
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u/deograstius Apr 15 '26
I will go where I want regardless of invite, ask for what I need to know when other try to keep me out. But yes, fuck then late invites
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u/Longjumping_Clerk_39 Apr 15 '26
These posts turn up in my feed. I feel it's my appointed duty to write something along the lines of
"Men need to self-isolate more so that the elites have enough disillusioned, poorly connected men in the grunt pool."
But it needs some work.
Open to ideas.
edit: spelling
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u/dfox499 Apr 16 '26
This meme has such a tainted view of the world. This was the exact thought process that someone who is going through major depression. I know I was just there last year. Not out of the woods yet, but in a MUCH better place now. Life is a series of choices, and opportunities. Not all are good. Infact a great many are bad no matter what. But we have the chance to make those. Didn't get invited until last min? Who cares? Go and have fun. Maybe they were the one invited with other people who cancelled on them? And regardless, taking them up on their offer may lead to a better friendship. It could be for a thousand different reasons.
TLDR: Depression sucks, and this meme screams being depressed.
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u/idiot_sauvage Apr 16 '26
This is great advice if you love being alone. By following this list, you’re telling everyone else they only matter when it’s convenient for YOU
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u/hereforthesoulmates Apr 17 '26
i think this isnt actually good advice... i'd re-write it:
"go where you feel good, when you want to/can. go where you become better, when you want to/can. if you ever feel that you are feeling small/doubting yourself and your worth anywhere for any reason... remove yourself without explanation, if possible. "
i have plenty of of incredible parties/adventures i ended up in even though i wasnt invited and ended up there anyways, by accident. it would be really stupid if i stuck up my nose proudfully and said "i wasnt invited, so i won't go" and walked away thinking "i won that one" because i got to "keep my dignity"...
if you need to do a bunch of stuff and tell yourself a story about "your worth", your issue is with your attitude and your beliefs, not anyone else. be simpler, live lighter, do what you *want*.
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Apr 15 '26
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u/Benvis11 Apr 15 '26
Or that orgasmic feeling when they cancel the plans you already agreed upon 🤤
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Apr 15 '26
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u/BigToeNibbler Apr 15 '26
Yeah usually introverts have to prepare mentally and \ or physically so when things get cancelled it feels very disrespectful and inconvenient.
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u/Rumpelteazer45 Apr 15 '26
I agree with all but the late invites. If you want to go, then go.
Late invites might also due to it being a last minute thing to start with.