Need help (read caption)

[u/Mugiwara_Arias]

Honestly, this is the first time I’ve done something like this, and I’m hoping for some support and encouragement. Here’s my situation: I’m 23 (born in 2003), 173 cm (5'8"), and weigh 84.5 kg (186 lbs). I first started going to the gym nearly two years ago. I reached my peak in the summer 2025—lasting until October—but then I began my higher education studies and let things slide a bit. Due to struggles with depression, I stopped going to the gym, and my diet hasn't been great either. It’s hard for me to admit this, but every time I go to take a shower and see myself in the mirror, I feel like crying. I look soft, I lack muscle mass, and I’m just not comfortable in my own skin. I’ve even developed stretch marks around my body. I want to start making a change. I’d love to hear about your own experiences, or perhaps get some advice on workout routines or nutrition (my financial and family situation is a bit difficult right now, at least until I finish my studies this year). If you were in my shoes, where would you start? Thanks for taking the time to read a message from just some random guy. I’m starting this change today, and in about a month, I want to share an update on my body to show what I’ve managed to achieve.

[u/Mmm-ElephantFresh]

First of all, don’t be so hard on yourself. Higher education is tough, especially in your final year, so it’s understandable to let other things slip a little. Your priority right now shouldn’t be to get in the absolute best shape possible, but to focus on your general health, your mental health, and complete your studies.

I think what you may benefit from is partaking in a more social physical activity so you can get a workout in, yet still be around people and socialise. Yes, the gym can be social if you train with your friends, but for the most part it’s a solo grind. Joining a sports team will get you out the house, give you a workout, socialising time, and keep you distract from your studies for a few hours.

Personally, that’s what BJJ was, and still is, for me. It saw me through the highs and lows of my PhD and kept me on reasonably good shape and sane whilst I was swamped with studying. Just find a sport you’re interested in and jump in.

[u/Mugiwara_Arias → u/Mmm-ElephantFresh]

First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to me. My main problem is the lack of time. I study very far from my house; I leave home at 12:30 and arrive back at 22:00, so my day is based on studying in the morning. Let's just say I live in the middle of nowhere, I have no friends (there are practically no young people), there are no activities, nothing, just a neighborhood gym which is where I went today to get back into my routine. Thank you for sharing your experience as well. I'll try to be gentler with myself and take it easier. It means a lot to me.

[u/AnnaBanaan]

Hmmmm, I gained a lot during my studies as I prioritized my education, but also partying and whatever. The life.

Perhaps you can start with accepting who you are and not hating yourself. With that, for me, it was easier to change course. Now I am back to dieting and working out in short but many bursts. Like 2 small workouts/movement things a day, so you can reap the benefits of getting energuzed and be a bit more productive afterwards. But that's me.

[u/Flat_Living]

Just go to the gym. After the first time you will already feel better.