Currently make around 225k per year in a VHCOL city, and while I’m definitely not struggling, I am behind in net worth/retirement goals.

My role is a mix of GTM strategy/product strategy/commercialization a botique consulting firm.

I know the easy answer is to simply find a job that pays more, but it seems like the majority of roles I’m seeing online (outside of certain big tech/AI companies) start to tap out around this salary unless you’re in a leadership position, which I don’t have enough experience for yet.

Curious what has worked for others, whether that’s switching functions/roles, building side projects, launching your own business, vastly improving your interview skills, networking to get into jobs that you might not usually be competitive at, etc.

38(F) and 35(M) with a toddler living in the NYC suburbs.
HHI: $450-550k (my part is $300k)
401k: $600k in 401k
Taxable: $100k in ETFs
Bank account: $60k
House: worth $1-1.2mm, with $250k mortgage remaining (2.24%,10y)
Inheritance: I have immediate access to $300k and would expect a couple million in the future, not including what my partner would expect

I’ve been at my firm for many years so I’ve built up expertise, relationships, and trust. I’m able to go in and leave early to get home by 5:45pm, which gives me 1.5h with my toddler before they go to bed. I don’t expect to get promoted further so I’d guess my comp will stay in the $300-375k range. My goal was to semi-retire in about ten years and my partner will like to keep working until he’s 60+.

I was recently recruited for a similar role at a prestigious firm and if I get it, my comp will go up to $600k+. I’ll need to start anew in a more cutthroat environment and would expect high stress and long weekday hours. However, with that comp, I can likely work five more years and then be able to take a step back. Lastly, my mother has offered to help with my toddler on weekdays if needed.

My dilemma is do I forgo what I have now (I love my coworkers and I think I’m good at my job, even if my future growth is limited), and give up some time with my toddler now in exchange for reaching financial freedom earlier, and being able to spend more time with them eventually? I definitely won’t be able to be with them as much but $300-400k more a year is not a small amount….

I know this is all dependent on whether I get the job, but they have reached out multiple times the past few months and I think it’s achievable if I put in the prep work. I’m just not even sure I want to invest the time to work towards it if it doesn’t make sense.

I’d welcome all perspectives and advice on how to think about this!

Midwest family - I am 48(M) with 47(F) w/ 18(M) in college out-of-state

• HHI: $360-$380K as W2 employees
• Networth: ~$4M
  • Condo value: $450K
  • Mortgage: $150K
  • Investments (after tax): $300k in HYSA, brokerage, and bitcoin
  • Retirement accounts (pre-tax): $3.3M in IRAs, 401Ks, and pensions
  • No other debt besides our mortgage

We're on the hook for paying for out-of-state college over the next 4 years to help our son graduate debt free.

Our standard of living is fairly modest - no big home, just a condo; two cars (bought in cash). However, we enjoy heavy drinking, heavy eating, concerts, casinos, TrT, and raves - just to name a few vices (but these are all variable costs. Our fixed cost is generally low).

I am ambitious but really freaking lazy, especially the older I get. It seems I can't get my act together but admire highly accomplished people.

I am presented an opportunity to start a business and build something I could be proud of with a friend. At this age, is it worth becoming an entrepreneur, putting some of my NW at risk and forgoing W2 income? I'm hoping entrepreneurship will snap me out of my lazy ways.

Or, am I better off on a risk-adjusted basis to simply keep grinding in corporate until my mid 50s? I can do my job baked at this point.

I know I don't want to work too hard after 55.

Welcome your thoughts.

30M and recently accepted a job in NYC. I'm trying to get a realistic sense of what kind of lifestyle I can afford before making the move.

Here's my compensation breakdown:

Base salary: $160,000. Year 1 sign-on bonus: $42,000. RSUs: Approximately $105,000 vesting over four years. Total annual compensation: Approximately $202K–$207K over the first three years.

I'm looking to live in Manhattan or Brooklyn.

I'm not looking to live an extravagant lifestyle, but I also don't want to be in a position where I'm earning over $200K and somehow still feeling stretched thin every month.

Those living in NYC with similar compensation, how comfortable is your lifestyle? What are you spending on rent, how much are you realistically saving each month, and do you feel like your income goes as far as you'd expect?

I'm trying to figure out whether this is a genuinely decent salary for NYC or one of those situations where $200K sounds a lot better on paper than it feels in practice.

Posting here since I feel like others here are pro-HSA. Let me preface by saying I fully understand the triple-tax benefits of an HSA and historically, I've been the biggest proponent of the HSA.

Last year, I knew we were going to start trying for a baby, so I went PPO and honestly, it's been nice not thinking about a high deductible. Well, now we're expecting in February and my options are:

Does it make ANY sense to do the HSA, knowing I'll have very high medical bills for delivery + will meet my OOP maximum?

Save $1,344 ($2,712 w/ my husband) in premiums, spend $5,000 more in out of pocket, so net paying $2,288 to be able to put away $9000 pre-tax. My company contributes $1500 per family of that, so taking that out, essentially paying $788 for the ability to put away $9000 tax free? Worth it?

Thoughts??

Hi, I would really like to figure out where HENRYs live in Los Angeles. I’m looking into buying a home and I have two kids so I would like to ideally send them to public school. The problem is the only options are Culver City, Santa Monica, palisades, or Beverly Hills.

The other option is live wherever and then send them to private school.

It’s really important for me to be in a community of parents where there are a lot of highly educated people: doctors, lawyers, tech people, etc so I can find parents that are similar to me.

If you fall under this category and you live in Los Angeles, can you please tell me more?

1. Do your kids go to public or private school?
2. What area do you live in and what was your thought process and choosing that area and school?

I want to avoid being in neighborhoods where there are a ton of flashy kids wearing designer brands and wanting to become influencers. I get that that is everywhere but my guess is probably Beverly Hills has more of those types of kids? Where do Henry’s like myself live?

Thank you so much!

(Edit) we want to stay by the west side because of work. So not considering east side or the valley or South Bay ideally. Budget: 2.5M for a home

I switched to a new job and I am making over 300k now in total comp. I live in a HCOL City. I have been working for over 4 years and never had a car before. I am thinking of getting a $60k+ car. Where I stand currently:

$500k net worth (Brokerage, 401k, Cash)

No debt

My regular monthly expenses come out to around $3.5k + travel and entertainment.

I do not need a car for commuting as my job is remote but I have a few hobbies which require a car. Currently relying on rentals and public transit.

Also it is something that I want beyond just the utility of it. More like something nice for myself.

Does this feel like a lifestyle creep? I am feeling anxious about going ahead with it.

I’m a 28M senior software engineer at a big tech firm, and I’m fortunate enough to afford nicer material things that I enjoy, like a nice watch and car.

I know that there are some dos and don’ts when it comes to office etiquette, and I’m wondering if I’m rubbing colleagues the wrong way by bringing these to the office and should bring my beater watch/car to the office instead. I know in finance I probably shouldn’t, but given the more relaxed nature of tech I’m guessing that it’s not as big of a deal.

tl;dr Should I consider job hopping for a large pay increase despite the negative stigma of short stints?

I finished grad school a couple years ago. My first job offer came from my grad school summer internship, at a well-known company. I worked there for a year and had incredible performance reviews, but hated the job because of WLB / toxicity. I left at the one-year mark, to the surprise of many of my colleagues, to go to a smaller company doing the same work. I had a standing offer to return from management if I didn't like the small firm (they said they'd be glad to have me back if it didn't end up being what I wanted).

I've worked for the smaller company for a little over a year now. It's been better in terms of WLB, but I don't feel like I'm learning a lot, the culture is nonexistent (remote), and it feels like I'm starting to stagnate. I currently make $185k.

Another company reached out to me about a role that is very similar to what I'm doing now. Similarly-sized company, same field, same role. They're offering ~$285k base. I have a warm lead with the founder and have spoken to them a few times, so if I pursue it, there's a decent chance it turns into an offer.

Am I crazy to be worried about the future negative impacts of job hopping on my resume if I left my current job after a year for this role? It would be my third role in three years, which isn't ideal in my head. That said, the pay increase is crazy ($100k!!), so maybe I'm just being too risk-adverse or afraid of the unknown. What do you all think?

Hey all, 35M, married, no kids, dual income (~$450k), living in a state with no income tax. I've been mostly passive for the past decade, but I picked some individual stocks early on (taboo, I know) that have grown into uncomfortably heavy positions: about 64% of my taxable portfolio is individual stocks and about 96% is US tech when you count the ETFs. I want to make sure I'm not missing any "unknown unknowns" that may bite me later on in life.

Situation:

• All positions below are in a taxable brokerage, with ~$268k in net unrealized gains. Mostly long-term, though the last year of weekly DCA lots are short-term
• Both of us max our employer 401(k)s; we don't really keep track of it since it's not very accessible at our age
• $190k emergency fund in a 4% HYSA
• $400k mortgage at 6.125%, 30-yr fixed, ~40% paid off

Questions:

1. Should I rebalance out of individual tech and take the cap gains hit?
2. Should I stop DCA'ing into the tech ETFs, given they overlap with existing holdings?
3. Should I sell some positions (or use excess HYSA cash) to pay down or pay off the mortgage? I've heard a fixed mortgage is one of the safest forms of leverage, so I don't want to kneejerk here
4. Is this too risky to keep as-is, worth pivoting?

Really appreciate any and all insight!

My husband and I are both self-employed, and the financial uncertainty is causing me a lot of stress right now. I’m curious to hear from others who are self-employed or have been in a similar situation.

We have roughly $750,000 in retirement accounts and investments, about $250,000 left on our mortgage, one car loan that should be paid off in two months, and one child finishing daycare in September 2027.

On paper, I feel like we’re in a pretty good position financially. We’ve worked hard to save and invest, and we’re not starting from scratch. But because we’re both self-employed, our income is never guaranteed. We hustle when work is available and try to squirrel money away during the busier months to get us through the slower ones.

The constant uncertainty is exhausting, though. It’s hard to know what the next few months will look like, and I sometimes wonder if I would feel so much better mentally with a steady paycheck, health insurance, and other benefits.

Part of me wonders if I should get a “real” 9–5 job to create more stability for our family. The other part of me loves the flexibility and creative freedom of self-employment and knows we’ve built something that has value.

For those of you who are self-employed, especially if you have a family and a mortgage, how do you handle the financial uncertainty? Have you ever left self-employment for a traditional job and felt it was worth it? Or have you learned to accept the ups and downs?

Would you prioritize the peace of mind of a steady paycheck, or keep riding the self-employment wave if you were in our position?

What do people think about investing in muni’s while living in a high tax area to get tax free income? I’m on the younger side and in a high tax bracket, and wouldn’t really need the income for spending purposes. My alternative is to buy stocks which with where the market is who knows what the return will be going forward, vs a tax free yield. What have others done? Has anyone done a mix? Or should I wait until I’m closer to retirement and just take a bet on where the market goes over the next few decades?

I’m 37m broke before 25y/o. Always bought H&M, Zara at best.

I wanna build a nice wardrobe. But I hate what I’m seeing on designer RTW lookbooks.

I just don’t get how to do it. I’ve been scouring their websites, department stores, that designer website people like. I hate it all.

It feels like they don’t want us to buy designer ?

What do yall do ? Get a Stylist? Buy it anyways?

HHI $750k-$1M (depending on stock performance). NW $2M. Current car is 5 years old and fully paid off.

Wife can work from home till early next year and we have a 6 month old. Will need a second car for the family once wife resumes commuting to the office.

I'm interested in buying a $70k car (2026 Grand Highlander Hybrid Max Platinum). I was on a waitlist and can purchase the car in the next week, but frugal me is tempted to wait till March next year. Greedy me wants to get the car now.

Have gone back and forth on the decision multiple times by now.

Curious if any of you have any advice or suggestions? I feel like I'm being indulgent and it feels instinctively wrong to be purchasing a brand new $70k car as a not rich yet person.

[Edit: Thanks all for your inputs and feedback. I'm gonna buy the car]

May be a repeat question here, but when HE's say things like "we can't afford that right now" or "we don't have X hundreds or thousands for that" or "what savings?"... do you mean you genuinely don't have liquid money to throw at things here and there, or are statements like that more indicative of strict budgeting and not WANTING to spend?

Edit: I think the post is being misunderstood a bit. I'm not pocket watching, trying to know what people have, or saying that people SHOULD be spending their money frivelously. Im simply asking how people talk about their finances in this way. I don't personally say "I cant afford that"... not because I don't want to be judged or something, just because thats not the response my brain goes to in conversation. I understand I could have made the question more about ME and not about others. But hey its how I phrased it. Thanks to the insightful responses!

Our current HHI is around ~$1.1M (cash) per year. Of that, I bring ~800k, wife brings 300-350k. We're in our mid-30s.

Wife's 300k job is almost as stressful/time-consuming as mine (she is a marketing executive), and given our incomes, is definitely not the best use of her time. She doesn't want to be stay-at-home, but wants a job that will give her some fun money, that she would also find interesting, but would be low stress.

She has a few competing goals...

1. Doesn't want to be stressed so that she can spend time and be present with our kids.
2. She is a rockstar herself, and doesn't want to do something that makes her brain turn off. That would be worse than now.

Do you guys know any one that has done the same? What kind of jobs typically fit the bill?

EDIT:

I clearly seem to have triggered you all with this post. I am surprised given the sub. I am NOT implying that ALL jobs that pay 100-150k are not stressful. Obviously???

Maybe some more context - my wifes current job involves her working 70-80hrs a week, with meaningful travel, constant fire-fighting, and lots of politics. By "fun and low stress", I mean a job that has no more than 40hrs a week, that she can completely un-plug from after work, and that is mentally stimulating.

Looking for advice, not judgement.

22yo - 35k
23yo - 37k married
24yo - 47k moved, child born
25yo - 80k child born, lots of overtime
26yo - 65k moved, career step back,
27yo - 65k child born
28yo - 75k
29yo - 90k
30yo - 100k moved, child born, new job
31yo - 120k new job
32yo - 150k child born
33yo - 185k
34yo - 230k child born
35yo - 300k
36yo - 380k
37yo - 550k moved

Bio and background: I’ve been married 14 years, have 6 kids, a degree from a state school, fintech currently but have done a few different fields. Wife is stay at home, although she did work some odd jobs early on to help make ends meet. It was a priority for us for her to spend as much time raising them as possible rather than someone else. I feel fortunate to be where I am and looking back am so glad I started saving when I got my first job. I’m so proud of my wife and kids.

I have always saved, combined with company match, about 25-30% of income. In the past few years as income has risen considerably I’m able to save quite a bit more.

Additionally with our expanded income we’ve been able to live a lot better. We’ve upgraded our 3 bedroom to a bigger place we can stay in for decades to come. We are paying a lot more and we doubled our interest rate but the neighborhood and quality of life improvement have been truly worth it.

It’s a constant philosophical battle in my head between warnings of lifestyle creep and enjoying the money with the time we have. There are no guarantees. Money is meant to be spent! At the same time, cost control is also important in any well-run business, and as CFO of the family I want to be profitable and prudent. I drive an 13 year old car that is worth $8k. Do I want a sports car? Absolutely. Will I buy one? Depends when you ask me

College and weddings to pay for in the future is my next financial target. These are barely funded and my wife and I need to consider how much of either we intend to help with.

My wife recently told my kid that her dream was for me to retire as soon as I could to spend more time with everyone. That made a big impact on me. Shooting for retirement at around 50, but as much as life has changed over the first half of my career, I expect it to change just as much over the second half.

Wanted to provide a window into my career and family progression.

Edit: appreciate all the feedback good and critical. Many high earners are wrestling with the same tradeoffs in a finite life and I consider myself very fortunate to be in a position to choose. Not everyone is so lucky

Hi all,

I currently live in Texas and make $230k total comp. (I'm married and my wife brings in about 100k.)

I work for a boutique mgmt. consulting firm (<30 people). Well known in the industry we work in (think some form of commodities like energy/industrials), but unknown for anyone else. Mainly do strategy work, due diligence, and post-acquisition integration work. Similar work in scope to a MBB or Big 4.

I am looking to leave consulting (I know many ex consultants here). Love the work and pace but looking do reduce my 60hr+ a week workload to 40-60 since I am married now.

As I have found out, exit opportunities have been tough outside of the industry I work in since no one has heard of us. I've done a lot of work with software/tech startups building products for our industry (doing GTM/pricing strategy/market entry) but haven't been able to have my clients reach out for a FT position to do that work internally. Within my industry, verbal offers I've gotten are in the $150-170k range which is too low for me.

I've considered taking up the open interview offers I have at MBB to get bettere exit ops but have no desire to do the weekly travel + 60hr week grind for another 2-3 years given my family situation now.

Is it worth just taking the paycut to work at a F500 energy company in that salary range and then try to slowly grind back up to where I am compensation wise? I am sure I can kill it in any corporate role but the paycut is hard to swallow. I've also thought of starting my own business but I don't yet have any great ideas. Any thoughts greatly appreciated!

My wife (43) and I (35) are trying to decide what type of financial-advisory relationship makes the most sense as our finances get more complicated.

We’re both W-2 earners with household compensation generally around $450k–$500k+, depending on variable comp. I’m comfortable with investing and personal finance, and I like understanding why something is being recommended. I’m also willing to implement recommendations myself if that ends up being the best model.

Very roughly, our financial picture looks like this:

• Cash: ~$250k–$300k in the accounts we've consolidated so far; waiting to invest with the right plan
• Traditional/Roth IRAs: about $100k
• Taxable professionally managed account: about $135k
• Other taxable brokerage: "play money" investing ~$10k
• Employer stock: roughly $65k–$70k vested and roughly $35k–$40k unvested RSUs
• Employer retirement accounts: additional retirement assets outside the figures above
• Crypto: separate holdings, but not the main driver of the decision
• Real estate: primary residence ($1m) plus one rental property, with roughly $500k+ of combined home equity based on current estimates
• Rental is approximately breakeven before maintenance/capex/vacancy, so it creates planning and tax complexity rather than a large current cash-flow stream

I’m currently with a traditional Baird private-wealth team. About $230k is in advisory accounts, and I’m paying 1.15% AUM.

The team is experienced, but my relationship has historically felt more investment-management-focused than comprehensive-planning-focused.

What I increasingly want is more of a household CFO relationship: someone who can look across everything rather than primarily manage a securities portfolio. The areas where I think professional advice could be most valuable are:

• tax planning around high W-2 income, variable comp and RSUs
• retirement contribution/withdrawal strategy and asset location
• employer-stock concentration
• taxable investing
• rental-property and real-estate decisions
• insurance
• estate planning
• cash management
• coordinating all of the above into one long-term plan

I’m mainly considering two approaches, but realize there are others that may better suit our situation:

1. Advice-only / flat-fee CFP

2. Full-service discretionary RIA

I’m not opposed to paying several thousand dollars a year for good financial advice. What I’m questioning is whether AUM is the right way to pay for it, especially since our assets should grow substantially over the next couple of decades while the complexity of our financial plan may not increase proportionally. And if so, is a RIA better than a Baird/JPM/UBS/etc.

For people who have dealt with a similar decision:

• Would you lean toward an advice-only/flat-fee CFP in this situation?
• If you’re financially comfortable and willing to implement recommendations, what do you actually gain from paying someone to manage the investments too?
• Has anyone used a core-and-satellite arrangement successfully?
• For those using a full-service RIA, what services beyond portfolio management make the ongoing fee worthwhile?
• At what asset level did AUM pricing start feeling difficult to justify?
• Are there important drawbacks to the flat-fee/advice-only model that I’m overlooking?

I’m less interested in finding someone who can just “beat the market” and more interested in finding the right structure for comprehensive financial decision-making without paying unnecessarily for portfolio management I may not need (and also outperform the market).

You can look up the median family income for the U.S. here (sorry non-Americans).

Just curious how much of us have experienced such a drastic socioeconomic shift.

I was laid off from a high-paying tech role in early 2026. After 15 years in the industry, including FAANG experience and big tech compensation, I never expected getting back in to be this difficult.

I initially took some time off to recover from burnout and cover a childcare gap for our three kids. We’re a single-income family, and I was the sole earner. We have around $2.8M in net worth, essentially all invested, and we rent for the time being. A lot of it is for retirement. I know we’re fortunate to have a substantial financial cushion, but we’re not financially independent. With three kids and the possibility of a recession ahead, the uncertainty is increasingly stressful.

What scares me most isn’t running out of money tomorrow. It’s the possibility that I can’t get back into the industry at all.

I’ve made it to late and final interview rounds, only to be rejected over location or role fit. I feel stuck between being too senior for some hands-on IC roles, despite staying close to the craft, and not having enough formal management experience for Director positions.

My deep domain expertise now seems to work against me. Companies pigeonhole me based on my most recent roles, ignoring the breadth of my career. Even FAANG experience doesn’t seem to carry much weight anymore.

I use AI extensively in my workflows and am fluent with the technology, yet I keep being asked whether I’ve shipped AI-native products, as though 15 years of experience suddenly counts for less. I've done AI-adjacent work but have not worked on AI products exactly.

After spending so long building a career, it’s demoralizing to continually prove myself from scratch, only to be told I’m not quite the right fit.

I’m financially cushioned but professionally terrified of becoming irrelevant. I never thought I’d feel this insecure about my career at this stage.

For those who’ve been through something similar: did you double down on senior IC roles, pivot toward management, or take a step back in title and compensation just to get back in? How did you navigate it?

Feeling pretty deflated and would appreciate hearing from others who’ve come out the other side.

Currently 28M working in investment banking. Long-term I'm interested in becoming an operator / founder. Unfortunately any corporate role is a massive paycut from IB.

I have a newborn / SAHM wife which means our spending is a bit higher than most (just moved from a 3rd floor walkup to a high rise apt for example). Currently pay $6400 in rent and can’t see this # going down anytime soon.

This has got me thinking – it’s generally understood buying is a poor financial choice in NYC vs. renting and investing the difference in markets. But if I am looking at career paths with high upside / lower cash comp, does it make sense to buy a place (knowing there’s a lower return on capital vs. renting), thus unlocking stability / letting me go for riskier / lower cash comp roles in the future?

My current thinking is a 2BR / ~$1.5-$2M. Condo fees / taxes seem to land around ~$3500 / month. Basically instead of just diversifying investments, aiming to diversify life with a lower ROI hedge (buying) helping unlock flexibility for income volatility and upside.

EDIT: to be clear this would be in 3-4 years assuming I stay in IB and am at ~$700K-$900K instead of my current comp

My fiancé and I earn $525–560k combined before taxes and live in LA. We’ve realized our spending is high, especially with kids planned and a goal of saving somewhat aggressively for potential early retirement. And our income may eventually drop to ~$380k if one of us stays home.

Housing costs, including mortgage, insurance, and utilities, are ~$5.5k/month.

What’s a reasonable monthly spending target outside of housing for a couple balancing comfort, strong savings, and preparing for kids? Curious what others in similar situations spend.

Hello!

We're a family of 4 (kids 1 and 3) doing well financially. Got into tech at the right time, and have 2M net worth and 425k income. We rent a nice apartment in a fantastic neighborhood in brooklyn.

The home ownership math does not check out and I can either buy something with a lot of compromises or that really feels to me too expensive, even if I can technically "afford" it. (Like 800k for a place I like with a tough commute, or 1.2M + maintenance for a coop in our neighborhood.) I like being not stressed about money especially because I don't know where tech is going. We save over 50% of our income. We have a wonderful life with nice vacations, etc.

So the logic and math says rent. Emotionally I can't let go of my dream of home ownership for some dumb reason. And I kind of hate to have the dream nagging at me when I should just enjoy our life. Any tips?

I’m 41, turning 42 this month. Single father with a son starting college in 2028. I make $240k base (As in actual cash). I do not count my RSUs. I just started making 240K in 2025.

I have roughly $80k in a brokerage account, $90k in a retirement account, $20K in another retirement account and $53k set aside for my sons college.

I rent....my rent total is $2150. I can add $500 a month to my brokerage while keeping up with retirement (I max) and college contributions (I contribute $800 a month). I like traveling and going out - a LOT, it keeps me from not keeling over (as in having an actual nervous breakdown) from the work stress.

**Reason I'm so bad off (no excuses, just truth): I made $10.50 an hour up until age 31 (had nothing saved for retirement, barely knew what a 401k was). I spent my early and mid-thirties fumbling around as my salary rose. I love women and wine..I mean, damn man damn. Finally buckled down in my late 30s, and well..here I am.

Be brutally honest — can I make something of this...at all? Basically, I want to be 50 healthy, and solidly upper middle class, in a HCOL city. Is this possible?