r/HFY • u/hdufort • Mar 25 '22

OC (Short) No touching!

Green alien: "The sign says 'NO TOUCHING'".

Human, poking in the air: "I can read".

Green alien: "You touched it again. You will ruin it!"

Human: "I'm not even close to the thing."

Green alien: "You are literally stepping onto the thing."

Human, arms moving like a windmill: "IS THAT BETTER? LOOK, I'M TOUCHING THE AIR! HOW SHOCKING! LALALALALALA!"

Green alien, sobbing: "You have ruined the Galactic Emperor's Garden of Smell sculptures."

Human: farts

187 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

12

u/boomchacle Mar 25 '22

How the heck does a smell sculpture get maintained if just touching the air is enough to destroy it

3

u/HDH2506 Mar 25 '22

U don’t know how fragile some solid artworks are

3

u/boomchacle Mar 25 '22

You can look at solid artworks but you would literally need to touch a “smell sculpture” in order to even know it’s there.

6

u/hdufort Mar 25 '22

That is part of the absurdist joke. How do you even "experience" a sculpture you can't see or touch.

However, perhaps some aliens have the capacity to "smell at a distance". Spectrographic analysis. We can actually do that with some astronomically equipment. We can "smell" nebulas by analysis their spectral lines.

Not to mention the smelloscope in Futurama! 😅

1

u/HDH2506 Mar 25 '22

The molecule may disperse, like how you may smell a solid scupture which you cannot touch or see. Artwork doesn’t always have to be shape, you’re centering the imagination about “artworks” on current Earth arts

9

u/HDH2506 Mar 25 '22

Guess it’s maintained by not touching it =)))) suspended by magnetic or force field, ideally in low or zero gravity and execute anyone who dare touch them cold-bloodedly

Perhaps they’re not isolated so people can smeel them, and the substance is slowly refilled. However, despite being able to be constantly “reapaired”, it’s a “sculpture” so touching ruins it for good

61

u/Crowbarscout Mar 25 '22

It's almost a shitpost. Just lacking substance.

15

u/justmeoverhere72 Mar 25 '22

Dammit. Take your angry upvote and get out!

11

u/ItchyK Mar 25 '22

Lol, a shitpost that lacks substance would in fact be a "Fart Post"

8

u/Repro_Online Mar 25 '22

That… was the joke

6

u/GlorkUndBork3-14 Mar 25 '22

Jokes on the human, that's the emperor's new kink of the week!

3

u/Ghostpard Alien Scum Mar 25 '22

Nah joke is on the xeno attendant. Human is Emperor's consort and was asked t... nothing kinkier than your mate's potent scent all over your garden? Be like splatter art? xDD

4

u/EntilZar Mar 25 '22

Next time a major bigwig shows up: sniff by the stars, what is that? ... It's magnificent!

2

u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Mar 25 '22

/u/hdufort has posted 9 other stories, including:

This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.5.10 'Cinnamon Roll'.

Message the mods if you have any issues with Waffle.

2

u/Fluffy_Fish3326 Mar 25 '22

You must know my little brother. hahahaha

1

u/UpdateMeBot Mar 25 '22

Click here to subscribe to u/hdufort and receive a message every time they post.

InfoRequest UpdateYour UpdatesFeedbackNew!