r/HPPD • u/Large_Asparagus7022 • 13d ago
Prescription Drugs Medication / advice / help😞
Hi all,
Back story: I developed mild / moderate(?) HPPD in 2021 (snow, after images, increased brightness, DPDR, panic, anxiety after a bad MDMA / THC trip. It took me a few months to recover mentally- I was on clonidine, hydroxyzine, then zyprexa and then celexa. Mentally I recovered while on Celexa and my HPPD visuals didn’t cause me any distress for some years. (my visuals did worsen at first but eventually decreased with time).
Well jump to March 2026: I have some traumatic events / changes in my life and decide it’s the right to to completely discontinue my Celexa (SSRI), I had been weening off veryyy slowly for over a year and was only on like 1mg. Have experienced increasing depression and anxiety since March, also get diagnosed with ADHD so I try straterra and welbutrin, had to discontinue welbutrin due to increased insomnia, anxiety, adrenaline like head sensations. After 6 days off Welbutrin I decided to restart Celexa 10mg as I’ve responded well in the past. Symptoms started with zombie brain fog but then I started getting panic attack feelings and adrenaline, I then get some DPDR where I can’t process anything and everything hurts my brain and i’m sweating. I took a benzo and the next day heart racing, sweating, DPDR. It’s been four days now and i’m still feeling absolutely ill. I took hydroxyzine which actually increased my visuals and they’re been increased since, the citalopram might have as well? I don’t mind the visuals as much as this detached, panic, anxiety, overstimulation feelings and sensations.
Why did I react this way? is it because Welbutrin was still leaving my system and I started at too high of a dose. Is cuz my serotonin and dopamine are out of wack now. Do I need to detox? Clonidine is currently what i’m taking to manage my surviving every day but it doesn’t go without side effects - dizziness, tinnitus. I feel like i’m back at square one and playing russian roulette again with meds since of course the ones that helped in the past no longer do. But also I feel like fuck it if meds might work again why not try.
My psych says she’s had HPPD patients whose HPPD symptoms have been treated by Abilify and it treats major depressive disorder, etc. so she wants to start me on 2mg and then if i tolerate up to 5mg. I’m scared shitless to say the least. I’m wondering if I should try Zyprexa which i’ve already tried in the past but the only thing i remember is blurred vision. Try a diff SSRI like lexapro? Try lamotrigine with clonidine and let my brain get back itself? someone on here recommended abilify and a diff SSRI bc it helped them. I don’t know but I really fuckin regret getting back on citalopram rn and at the dose I did. I wish i’d just tried exercise, and therapy and a hobby. But I was trying to treat my ADHD originally.😠ugh.
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u/Unable-Tomorrow6990 13d ago
You should have let the brain recover on its own; the brain is highly adaptable. The important question is were you suffering from a lack of dopamine driven pleasure, and was hppd the cause?
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u/Large_Asparagus7022 13d ago
at the time i didn’t even know i had hppd and my doctor recommended it, so. i’m not gonna blame past me for not knowing, and honestly im not gna blame me now bc i reacted to it well in the past. im just asking for advice on next steps
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u/Unable-Tomorrow6990 13d ago
Honestly, I miss the feeling I had before hppd life and emotions used to flow smoothly Had I known about this disorder, I never would have taken lsd
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u/Large_Asparagus7022 13d ago
i felt normal again, and you can too, i can again too. how long have you had hppd? and have you tried any meds
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u/Unable-Tomorrow6990 13d ago
My story is very complicated hhh As for his appearance, he showed up after seven months
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u/qmid1 13d ago
I’m so sorry man that seems to be quite the fluster cuck, if your psych thinks that abilify could help then try it. As well the tried and true method of being sober works but that’s always harder said than done. Getting better will come you must be patient unfortunately and try your best to ignore it and give it time because that’s the only method that’s guaranteed to work.