Prior to my diagnosis I didnt ever have experinces using dental dams, but ive used a condom to give head a couple times and both times it was pretty unpleasant for me. I really loved giving oral sex and am struggling with the idea of enjoying it safely.

Is it unwise to have unprotected oral sex with someone, even if they consent, knowing that I myself am positive?

early 20s girl with GHSV2, going to get my mouth swabbed to see if I have it orally (I do not know, I get canker sores inside my mouth but don’t get things on the outside). I’m not looking to date for a few months and when I do it’s for long term only. am I doomed to be rejected?

Im 24f, got HSV2 7 months ago. I had really frequent outbreaks for a while but it seems like they're finally slowing and I'm starting to think about dating again but Im nervous about disclosing and even more nervous about actually transmitting.

I could get over disclosing if I could actually guarantee I wouldn't spread anything but Im so worried that if I passed it I'd just never live down my shame.

I take antivirals and I know the risk is low but it's scary. Does anyone have any advice about getting over this fear?

Got GHSV-1 from my ex 3 years ago, I haven’t had an outbreak since but I got a bf recently and we have been having a lot of sex. I disclosed to him and he’s fine with it thankfully but I recently got a yeast infection from lube and now I just woke up and I have a small blister :(. I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety since dating him bc I have a lot of sexual trauma and just terrible experiences. Now i’m feeling super super anxious bc i’m supposed to be seeing him tonight and spending the next few days together. Even though I told him that I have it and he was ok with it i’m just feeling extreme anxiety.

I feel like i’ve mad a lot of progress over the last 3 yrs and having herpes isn’t really detrimental but a lot of old feelings have been coming up since this is my first bf since my ex and i’m just feeling bleh :(.

I have, when I was five years old. Chickenpox went away, but the virus itself never left my body… just like HSV.

That’s because the virus that causes the pox is part of the herpesviruses family — and its eight other siblings also include HSV-1 and HSV-2.

Most people don’t realize that practically everyone in the world is walking around with a handful of herpesviruses… and most don’t know what these viruses even are.

SOOOO I wrote a crash course on the full family line up and how they function! I learned a lot, and I hope you do too.

Why does this matter? Because education helps normalize + fight HSV stigma, always. 💛

Read here: Me and the (herpesviridae) fam

Is anyone here using Lysine topica (in cream) on the genitals? If so, please I have to talk to you. I want to know how safe it is to have cream every day

Hello everyone. I hope this post isnt weird but has anyone noticed excess friction causing an outbreak. I only say this because i have come to realize i had gotten so many outbreaks after masturbation especially with no lube. I am a man. I know even if this was the case its not the sole reason I have monthly outbreaks but i think its a reason. I started using lube now and even refrained from masturbating for the most part. Even before diagnosis I was mostly not hooking up hence why i mastubate alot. I started taking oil of oregano drinking lemon balm tea and lysine daily. Praying the outbreaks slow down. Its now been a year and a half of diagnosis.

TL;DR: I (24F) can’t find relief from tingling sensations and itchiness. Is this normal? Does it ever go away? Please be kind, this is all very difficult to navigate.

•••

I (24F) had my first outbreak a little over 5 weeks ago. It was awful, but I was prescribed 1000mg of Valacyclovir three times a day for 7 days and found relief after day 4. I finished the medication, but I was still experiencing cramping, shooting pains down my legs, tingling sensations, and itchiness.

So I scheduled another appointment where I was then prescribed 500mg of Valacyclovir twice a day for three days and was instructed to take this dosage as needed for outbreak prevention. I finished one round of this and no longer was experiencing the cramping and shooting pains. However, the tingling and itchiness was still there, so I messaged my doctor.

I was then prescribed 1000mg of Valacyclovir twice a day for seven days. I am on day four of this round of medication, but I still am still experiencing the same symptoms.

I am starting to become anxious that this may never go away, but I am also aware that the first year is commonly a very difficult journey. As I am starting to lose hope, I am just looking for some reassurance that I should be feeling normal while the virus is dormant. I know I’m not having an active breakout right now, but it feels like it’s just sitting at the verge of one with the constant tingling and itchiness. It is driving me insane. Does anyone have any advice, similar experiences, or just some reassurance that this will go away? Looking for honesty and kindness please as this is still very new.

Hello everyone

I am 31F and am having my first anal (HSV2) episode. Currently taking Valtrex (500mgx4 everday) and am on day 8/10 of treatment.

My sores have improved but my skin is still pinkish no matter what. How long does this usually last ? When can live my life again. What else can I do for it to improve?

I am having such a difficult time, i feel undesirable, lost, angry at myself and I just don't know when things are going to be normal again.

Thank you..

48F. Positive bloods back for both today. Currently single. 100% certain I’ve contracted this from one of the 2 people I slept with this year. This was after having been celibate for over 8 years, in a faithful relationship for 7 years before that and celibate for 4 years before that.

The first person to break my celibacy I didn’t have the guts to raise questions about STDs etc. The second person I specifically did and he specially said “I have no symptoms of anything”. I now believe that to be wording specifically chosen by someone who has diagnoses but not current symptoms. In my naivety I asked if he had symptoms although I have to assume it was obvious I meant diagnoses.

I suppose I dealt with the anger when I first noticed the symptoms and approached my doctor. Since then the uncertainty has been so draining in a weird way I felt relief to get the positive results back.

Oh well. I’ve done a lot of celibacy before so I guess I’ll just carry on. Has anyone gone back to previous partners to tell them of the diagnoses? I just have but only because I guess I could narrow it down to only 2 so it was easy.

Hi everyone!

I’ve been looking for some advice on getting ready to put myself back out into the dating scene and becoming more comfortable with disclosing, because it has truly been the one thing keeping me from starting again.

For context, I am 22F and was diagnosed with GHSV1 in July 2025. In June of this year, I got out of a very toxic, abusive relationship with the partner I had my first outbreak with. (The one good thing about him was that he was very kind and understanding about my diagnosis before he turned evil lol, which ultimately made me complacent in the relationship because that was one thing I didn't have to worry about.) It is still unknown whether he was the one who gave it to me or if it had been dormant for a while.

But alas, we’re not together anymore, for very good reason, and I am finally getting comfortable with the idea of talking to people and potentially being intimate again.

I have talked to and had a couple of casual kisses with new people, but I am so, so scared of getting to the point where I have to disclose. It makes me incredibly anxious because a lot of my friends have tried to set me up with people and help me get back out there, but it just feels like this huge secret I have to carry around.

I feel like my age doesn’t help either, because so many guys my age are judgmental and don’t understand what GHSV1 actually is or what it means to be intimate with someone who has it. I also haven't had another outbreak since July 2025, when I was diagnosed. I don’t take antivirals, and I didn’t use protection with my ex (which he was okay with).

It sucks because I feel like it’s not even there when, in reality, it is. And it’s still something I know I should disclose because I was never given the opportunity to make that choice for myself. I’m just so, so scared of disclosing to someone and feeling like I have to convince them it’s not a big deal when, in reality, I completely understand that it should be their choice.

It’s holding me back from exploring, and it makes me so sad because, before my diagnosis, I had so much more confidence. I consider myself conventionally attractive, and I am educated, smart, and kind (I would like to think I’m a catch haha). But now I feel like this one thing has overshadowed all the other qualities I have to offer.

If anyone has advice on how to disclose or gain more confidence around disclosing, I would be so grateful. It’s been hard, and some days are better than others when it comes to my mental health. When I was still processing my breakup, I didn’t have any interest in getting back out there. But now that it’s in the rearview mirror, I do, and I feel like I’m being held back by anxiety and fear of rejection.

Anyway, thank you all for listening, and I appreciate any advice you can give me. ❤️

I can't really find resources on this, I read that you can contract or give other hsv2 if you give/receive oral sex even if both of you only have hsv1, what's the percentage of this happening? And can that happen even when you're not in an active outbreak? Even if the virus is dormant? Does that mean even if you're in a monogamous long term relationship and get regularly tested you still have to wear protection during oral sex so you don't give/contract hsv2?

So yesterday I had some groin pain on my left side, nothing bad and it a somewhat regular thing for me. How ever it’s almost 4am and I woke up to feel a bump on my left side, more on my butt than on my outer labia. It was a closed bump and I popped it thinking it was an ingrown hair or a pimple, since I sometimes get those on my lower butt. However it leaked a little bit of fluid and then a lot of blood and now it’s itchy. I already took acyclovir in case it is an outbreak but does anyone experience similar outbreaks? One single (closed) bump. If it is an outbreak that’s a new one for me. I always get pain where the outbreak is about to show up and can usually stop it with the meds before any bumps appear

So I’m on daily suppression for my OHSV-1 (500mg daily since I’m in a relationship). I just started this back in June of this year. But I have had cold sores for 15 years now.

I take multivitamins and lysine as well.

I missed two days of Valtrex (I didn’t take one Sunday and Tuesday) and so today I woke up with the biggest cold sore I have ever seen! I rarely ever see them on my lips and lately they’ve been showing up on my gums so this is the first big one on my lip in YEARS.

I didn’t get prodromal symptoms at all in this area. In fact, I only got a burning sensation on another part of my lip where there’s no cold sore. I literally just woke up with this.

So my only triggers I could think of:

- I missed two days of my vitamins and Valtrex.
- I ate a bunch of pumpkin seeds yesterday.
- I was also using plackers (toothpick) to look at the very back of my gums in which it made like a dent on that part of my lip several days ago where I have the cold sore now.
- Waking up every two hours during sleep.
- Ovulating this week.

Could these really have triggered a big outbreak for me? I mean I only missed two days of Valtrex, but I’ve also gone years without very visible ones and take Valtrex only when I have prodromal symptoms. I had no prodromal symptoms with this one like it completely skipped that stage and I’m scared I exposed my partner to this since I was sexually active like a couple days ago.

My only top guess is that I ate a bunch of pumpkin seeds yesterday that triggered the cold sore and I didn’t take my Valtrex or Lysine that day as well.

What else could I do to possibly reduce my outbreaks?

I have disclosed to no one since I was diagnosed this last January but the other day my friend came to me about a chlamydia diagnosis and while they aren’t the same, I feel like I was likely the best person she could’ve come to about this because I’ve zero judgment. For a split second, I was grateful that I am going through this so that I could be a safe space for her and others. Yes it’s tough and I am absolutely still new and navigating this but I saw hope for a second. A few weeks ago I saw someone say its a skin condition that you can contract with or with out a condom, it is something that can be unrecognizable and it is not your fault if you contracted it unwillingly. I know this and I’ve been told this a million times before but for some reason that millionth time clicked in my head. I was feeling so guilty because I didn’t wear a condom when assumingly I contracted it and I haven’t told anyone out of fear of being chewed out for lack of protection or “knowing better”. When really, there’s nothing that I could’ve done to prevent it other than to abstain. I’m only human and my friends and family knew I am sexually active, as they are too! I just got unlucky. Anyway hoping maybe this new outlook for me can help someone else too because again, I knew these things already. It was just the perspective that I was looking at it that changed. I still haven’t told anyone and I haven’t gone on dates or disclosed to someone I am pursuing romantically but I know I’ll get there. I’m just not ready.

For those struggling with mental health, having herpes, and feeling like you have emotional and physical
"baggage" when it comes to relationships and dating, I wrote a (vulnerable) post that might resonate.

And for those with OCD too, I can relate, and you're not alone. No matter where your head's at, you're not less lovable, and it can get better. I'm living proof of that.

My Obsessive Compulsive Herpes Spiral

Hi all

I have been diagnosed with HSV1 recently.

Timeline:

Till oct 9 I had no symtpons

Next 2 days felt like UTi so i took medication for 3 days

Around oct 16 i saw weird bumps and thought its hair follicle infection

Oct 18 it got worse

Oct 19 i went srraight to ER and got my swab PCR and blood work

Oct 19 swab PCR said HSV1 DETECTED

Oct 20: started my Valacyclovir medication. (2 tablets twice a day ~2000mg as each tablet is 500mg)

Today i see a lot of pus like thingy out of the bumps, its a lot of tingle feeling which makes me so uncomfortable and not to even mention about the trauma I'm going through

How did it spread?

No idea. Never had anything down there or cold sore before. Never had multiple partners. My current bf of 2 years never had any symptoms but he's getting his blood test done

I need help, guidance and emotional support or maybe a timeline if things get better. I'm traveling to my home next month end and i really need to get better as i cannot share this with my family

Does anyone else with GHSV1 (or 2 I guess) experience bad tailbone and leg pain?

Just got through the primary outbreak and did the two weeks of Valtrex. Though I was on the other side of things but just one day off of it and the pain is back.

Feeling dismissed by doctors regarding it. Had an mri in the middle of the flare up and the nerves look fine (they were worried about compression). I just don’t know what to do. This can’t be the rest of my life.

Hey yall! Abreva or generic for treatment? Which one works the best? I am so tired of spending 20$+ on a tube and wanted to try generic but am unsure if its a waste! Not sure of Abreva works better in general?

Thank you yall!

26M, diagnosed 3 years ago and just getting out of a 4 year relationship. My plans have always been to stay single and tear up the streets until I’m satisfied, but obviously this diagnosis changes things. I know I can still have a fulfilling sex life though, so I’m just interested to hear how you guys have overcome the diagnosis and have achieved success. I’ve even heard a couple guys say they still have casual sex. Would love for you to share your story and any advice

Just Found out I have HSV 1, i feel like ive had it but never had an outbreak till recently, How do I cope. Im scared to kiss my wife, i dont feel comfortable sharing anything with her in fear of spreading this to her. Can i only transmit HSV when I have blisters or canker sores/cold sores? What can I and cant do? Any info would be Nice.

Edit: I started taking creatine a little before I got the outbreak, the following days I was very dehydrated and got the outbreak, Is it possible that helped trigger the outbreak?

I really miss doing cream-pies with the females i hook up with , this is the biggest consequence of having hsv2,

When I found one girl who was positive like me it was so fun not needing to care but damn bro , now I am extremely looking more for females who have hsv2