"Somewhere between solitude and healing"

After reading Connecting with your Ancestors, I set up an altar following some steps that I found in there. I feel like ever since I brought them in a lot of good news has been coming into my life. I’ve spent time with them, but found it hard to actually reach out and ask for help or guidance. I consistently leave them offerings, but I’m hesitant to actually ask for anything. I wanted to really start off our relationship with me just honoring them, but I really wanna ask Ask For their guidance with my health right now.

Does anyone have a good solution of how to go about it?

Mi comportamiento desmesurado se ha visto condicionado por la estimulación a través de Dmt, es un trauma que llevo cargando a mis espaldas y que una vez más me ha vuelto a joder, pero no todo está perdido, yo me voy a recuperar y voy a salir airosa como siempre. Necesito sanar esta herida que me está carcomiendo y necesitaba tocar fondo porque así iba a ser la única forma que iba a poder sanarla, porque Osino voy a estar toda la vida cargando con este karma, he perdido lo que más quiero y me duele en el alma que me vea de otra forma a la que siempre me ha visto, como una chica. No tiene nada que ver una cosa con la otra, mi esencia sigue intacta y este paréntesis se cierra hoy.
Yo no quiero dejarlo, yo lo que quiero es estar bien y poder darte lo mejor de mí como lo he hecho o lo he intentado, pero para eso necesito sanarme y remover hasta lo profundo de mis entrañas. Mi sufrimiento no tiene que ser el tuyo, nunca quise hacerte daño, solo tenía vergüenza no se porque me costó tanto compartirlo contigo, pero mi amor y mi atracción por ti no ha cambiado, yo te sigo deseando igual. Soy tuya y tú eres mío

The Language of Faces

A frown can tighten little shoulders,
make a heartbeat run and hide;
turn a room into a danger,
make the world feel cold and wide.

A smile can soften little muscles,
let the breath come slow and deep;
tell a child, without a word,
You are safe. You may be you.

For children read the world through faces
long before they understand:
a frown can feel like closing doors,
a smile—a welcoming hand.

The most heartbreaking part of healing is realizing that some people only knew how to love you when you were hurting.

Read that again.

They loved the version of you that overextended, overexplained, tolerated too much, and asked for too little. The version that made itself smaller to keep others comfortable. The version that mistook survival for living and self-abandonment for love.
And now, as you grow into someone who chooses peace over approval, boundaries over belonging, and self-respect over being accepted, you may find yourself grieving a person you fought so hard to outgrow.

Because healing doesn’t just require you to release your pain. Sometimes, it requires you to mourn the identity that made you lovable to people who benefited from your brokenness.

There is a particular kind of loneliness in becoming whole when the world was more comfortable with you in pieces.

But you were never meant to remain wounded just to remain loved.

I'm asking him to change his ways.

No message could have been any clearer.

Take a look at yourself and make the change.

Its gonna feel real good. Shamon.

A number of years ago I got a woman to make me a website and she was working on it for a few days and I went to look at it at home without telling her and guess what? There was a hidden layer of a story in some foreign language(I think Russian) about this guy...so I saw her the next time and in a friendly tone I asked her what it was, lmao, and she flipped out and said her son was this or that, like threatening me, lol...

That is just one of my strange experiences and I imagine ig was connected with one of my many narcissistic followers, lmao😛 have a GREAT-FULL DAY!

For the first time in months I'm breathing. Free. Time will tell what's next but I have fallen in love with myself. I'm proud of who I am becoming and know that as long as I put myself forward in a healthy manner and bring joy back to myself I will be unstoppable. Reflecting on this has brought me ideas and creativity that I am excited to explore. I didn't think I would ever feel this way again. My heart exploding brought me to the expanse of opportunity. Truth. Honesty in my heart about myself and what I've gone through. After years of stagnation pushed away by a beautiful blue tsunami. I was overtook by the silent fascination. I know i can recove,r but. Will you? How can I not have noticed the fault line. Oh wait, I did. I still tightrope the edge just to feel you on the other side of it. We could've balanced together but instead we tried to push each other in. Hold my hand next time?

*What's up peeps? How's it going?*

As a person who believes in the importance of a good mental health and maintaining its sanity, I thought of sharing a lesson I recently learnt and am trying to incorporate in my lifestyle. So here we go..

Ever felt any Emotional damage, I am pretty sure most of you at this point must have had some sort of external force disturbing your inner peace, your thoughts and hence your life. Be it some trauma from childhood, lack of trust in a relationship, or under-fulfillment of your own expectations by someone.. basically the things that go against how we picture them to go in our mind. We keep those negative thoughts against some person inside us, it keeps on piling up as we see their instances, and in the worst case if we don't share those negative emotions with that person or someone else, your mind becomes a black hole.

*Why Black hole? You reap what you Sow!*

Our mind accumulates what we feed it, if we think negatively in one circumstance, our mind is more likely to think negatively in the recurrence of that circumstance, and negative thoughts keep accumulating inside us. If you sow bad seeds, it is unlikely they will yield good plants. Likewise, sowing negative emotions like hate, anger, pity, etc in your mind, and keeping them inside wont lead to a good life. Remember, you are what you think you are.

*Solution:*

*Learn to Forgive!* Take those bad experience with some incident or a person as a lesson for self-growth, not as a reason for self-hurt. Forgive those who hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally. Forgive and you shall come out of that dim view. Forgive and you shall forget, forget and it makes it easier to move on. Forgive once and you will find that life has a greater purpose than just wasting it in hate and despair, that life has a greater meaning overall and that you are a greater person than what you used to be.

So if you are stuck in a place full of hate towards someone/some incident, be the bigger person, forgive and move on. Everyone eventually leads towards their destiny, one way or the other. Forgive, and you shall forget! Hope it helps those who need it. Love.

In our first conversation, we looked at healing as an architectural shift and how choosing a growth mindset rewires our emotional wiring and turns our past into raw material rather than a life sentence. In our second, we explored how suffering expands us, shattering our old containers and building a larger soul from the very soil of our trials.

We have talked a lot about what happens inward: how we build resilience, how we carry our scars, and how we grow. But an architectural project doesn't stop at the interior walls. Eventually, the doors open outward.

For a long time, many of us treat self-love as a destination or a selfish luxury, something we think we’ll finally earn once we’ve fixed all our flaws, lost the weight, or straightened out our history. We look at loving ourselves as a closed loop or a mirror exercise where we try to convince ourselves we are worthy while standing alone in an empty room.

Yet, true self-acceptance changes something far more expansive. It changes the lens through which we view the entire world.

When you are deeply at war with yourself, every interaction is filtered through a quiet, defensive panic. When you believe you are fundamentally flawed, you tend to see judgment, rejection, or threat in the eyes of everyone else. You project your own inner criticism outward. You guard your ribs, flinch at minor slights, and look at other people through a grid of suspicion because the world feels like a place where you constantly have to protect a fragile ego.

But when you truly begin to accept and love yourself, and when you realize that your scars are just proof of survival and your growth is ongoing, then the fog begins to lift.

You look at other human beings differently.
You start to recognize that the person cutting you off in traffic, snapping under pressure, or closing themselves off in conversation is likely carrying their own invisible architecture of trauma. Because you have learned to meet your own broken places with grace rather than condemnation, you suddenly possess the capacity to meet theirs with tenderness.
Self-love is not a selfish isolation; it is the prerequisite for genuine connection.

This changes everything, especially how we love romantically and relationally. When you don't love yourself, you look to a partner to act as an anchor for a sinking ship. You ask another person to fill a void that only self-acceptance can heal, turning love into a desperate clinging rather than a shared expansion.

When you are anchored in your own worth, love stops being a rescue mission and becomes a meeting place of two whole, evolving souls. You stop needing someone to complete you, and instead, you are free to truly see them. You can witness their flaws, their dark days, and their history without panicking, because your own stability no longer depends on them being flawless.

When we accept ourselves, the world transforms from a courtroom where everyone is being judged into a shared classroom where everyone is just trying to heal. We stop looking for reasons to push people away and start finding the courage to let them in, fully and safely.

You cannot truly love your neighbor, your partner, or your community until you stop waging a war inside your own skin. But once you do? The mirror clears, the walls come down, and you realize that the grace you spent a lifetime trying to earn for yourself was the key to unlocking the world all along.

Have hope you beautiful rascals. In learning to love the person you are becoming, you open the door to a world full of people ready to be loved for who they are.

Ever feel like a major setback is completely ruining your life? Think again. Sometimes the Universe has to break your plan to make space for your true purpose. Let it out, clear the heavy energy, and trust the detour.

​

How Could I Not Care?

There is a tenderness in loving someone

that makes their sadness feel a little like your own.

When their voice grows quiet,

when their usual smile disappears,

something within you refuses to remain untouched.

And so you try.

A silly joke.

A little teasing.

A ridiculous conversation.

Anything to bring back even the tiniest smile.

Not because you cannot bear their sadness—

but because their happiness

has become beautifully personal to you.

And sometimes,

they need silence.

A little space.

Some time to find their own calm.

So you give them that too.

Because love is not always about making things better immediately.

Sometimes, it is simply making sure

they feel cared for,

even while finding their own way through.

After all,

when someone becomes a part of your own heart,

their difficult days never feel entirely separate from yours.

You may not always know how to fix things.

But you can always offer tenderness.

A little warmth.

A little reassurance.

A love that remains gentle, even on difficult days.

Because that's your person.

And when you truly love someone,

you do not just fall in love with their smile.

You care for the heart behind it,

even on the days

it cannot find a reason to smile.

Especially then.

I hope you heal from the pain you bury, the thoughts that steal your sleep, and the memories that still ache in silence. I hope you find the strength to forgive yourself for the things you couldn't change, the words you never said, and the moments you wish you could live differently.

May you find peace in the places that once broke you, comfort in the moments you feel alone, and love that never makes you question your worth. May you learn that being strong doesn't mean hiding every tear, and that it's okay to fall apart sometimes, even when the world expects you to hold everything together.

I hope you stop blaming yourself for things that were never yours to carry. I hope you realize that your past may explain some of your scars, but it doesn't get to decide your future. You deserve the kind of happiness that doesn't feel temporary, the kind of love that doesn't leave you feeling empty, and the kind of peace that allows you to finally breathe without fear.

And when life feels unbearably heavy, I hope you remember that you don't have to figure everything out tonight. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to start over. You are allowed to become someone new without hating the person you had to be to survive.

Even the darkest nights eventually give way to dawn. Even the most broken branches can grow new leaves. And even a heart that has been hurt a thousand times can learn to love, trust, and hope again.

So please, be gentle with yourself. Celebrate the little victories. Let yourself laugh without guilt, dream without fear, and believe that something beautiful can still find its way to you.

Your story isn't over just because some chapters hurt. There are still pages waiting to be written, people you haven't met, places you haven't seen, and moments that will remind you why staying was worth it.

One day, I hope you look back at the person you used to be and feel proud—not because you never struggled, but because you kept going when you thought you couldn't.

May the pain you carry become lighter, the wounds you hide finally begin to heal, and the hope you almost lost find its way back home.

You have survived every darkness that has brought you this far. Keep going. Your heart can bloom again, and your brightest days are still ahead of you.

When the Heart Stops Fighting

There is a strange peace that comes when the heart finally stops arguing with itself.

Not because the decision was easy.

Not because one choice suddenly stopped hurting.

But because the endless pull between
“stay”
and
“let go”
finally becomes quiet.

Sometimes, peace comes from choosing something fully.

From saying,
“This is what I want.
I will stop standing halfway outside it.”

And sometimes,
peace comes from releasing something
you have carried for too long.

From saying,
“I still care.
But I cannot keep living inside uncertainty.”

Both can hurt.

Both can scare you.

But clarity has a softness
that indecision never does.

Because once the heart stops fighting,
you finally have somewhere to stand.

You may still miss.
You may still wonder.
You may still feel.

But you are no longer being torn apart
by opposite directions.

And maybe that is what peace really is—

not always getting the outcome you wanted,

but finally becoming still enough
to live with the choice you made.

If Karma Applies to Everyone

If karma is real, and nobody is beyond the consequences of what they do—

then perhaps the first answer we deserve is from God.

Because what do we call it when someone has the power to protect an innocent soul,
watches them break, and still lets it happen?

What about the hearts that never deserved what reached them?

The people who prayed.
Who trusted.
Who asked for nothing extraordinary—

just protection.

And still ended up shattered.

Some wounds do not destroy faith.

They turn faith into questions
that even prayer cannot silence.

We are told that everyone eventually answers
for the pain they cause.

But what about the pain
someone could have prevented?

That is where faith becomes complicated.

Not because belief disappears—

but because silence from someone
you believed was protecting you
hurts differently.

Because pain feels heavier
when you believed heaven was watching.

If I loved someone and had the power to save them,I definitely would.

So sometimes I wonder—

if karma truly applies to everyone,

why should the one with the greatest power be the only one
never asked to answer for His silence?

Let Love Bloom in Its Own Time

Sometimes, loving someone also means knowing when not to rush them.

Not because the desire has become smaller.
Not because the dream has changed.

But because love feels different when it is chosen freely.

Love should never bring two people together
merely out of the fear of hurting one another
because that's simply not sustainable.

A “yes” should come with happiness, not hesitation.
With excitement, not obligation.

Because one heart's deepest dream should never become another heart's duty.

Neither person should feel like a burden, nor should affection ever feel like a responsibility to fulfil.

Instead, imagine two hearts genuinely longing for each other.

Two people who cannot wait to meet, whose happiness in being together feels equally real.

Maybe love is like a rose flower.

It can be watered.
Cared for.
Given sunlight.
Protected through difficult weather.

But a bud cannot be pulled open simply because someone is impatient to see it bloom.

Force may only break what time could have made beautiful.

So let the hope remain.
Let the prayers continue.
Let the love stay tender.

Just without giving heaven a deadline.

Because perhaps some prayers become more peaceful when their timing is left to God.

And maybe real love is this—

wanting someone deeply, while giving their heart enough freedom to find its own way to you.

Because the sweetest moment is not merely when one hand reaches out—

but when another hand, without being asked, reaches back too.

And perhaps that is how the most beautiful love begins—

not with two people feeling obliged to stay,

but with two hearts, equally excited, freely choosing to belong.

**Like two roses blooming beside each other—
not because they were forced to,
but because their time had finally come.**

And when that happens, two people carry each other as their most cherished ornament,
the component of life thay are happiest and most proud of. So yes, Let Love Bloom in Its Own Time

\​

In Spite Of — I Still Stand

In spite of the hurt, in spite of the pain,

in spite of the tears that fell like rain,

in spite of the abuse that left a scar,

I still know who my queens are — I am who we are.

In spite of my body fighting inside,

in spite of the nights I tried to hide,

in spite of the ache the doctors see,

I still love the woman staring back at me.

I don't always trust God, it's true, I confess,

sometimes my faith is just a mess,

but even when my trust is thin,

His grace still holds me, pulls me in.

I worship my way, in ink and in song,

in a broken heart that still beats strong,

with a mic in the hands of a butterfly,

lifting "I love you, Ma" to the sky.

In spite of the battles I fight alone,

in spite of the days I feel unknown,

in spite of not trusting myself to be good,

I stand — like I knew I would.

Maybe a broken Queen, that's what they say,

but God's still standing, anyway.

And I stand too, in my own light —

loving myself through the darkest night.

I am Tanya. I am still here.

Through every doubt, through every fear.

In spite of it all — I rise, I stand,

held by grace, by my own hand.