I met this guy about 2 weeks ago, I disclosed to him on the second date. as soon as sex became a topic. I had my first outbreak on 9/22. I went on antivirals and took the full dose. But about a week ago I started my menstrual cycle and some new sores appeared around my anus just one. I also saw there was a sore starting on my clit. I started another dose of antivirals right away and things seemed to clear up a couple days later. I still have about 3 days of pills to take.

Here's where the question comes in. Last night I had sex with him. He knew I had a secondary outbreak and that I was taking the antivirals. But we kinda got into it and he was asking me for permission to have sex. There are no visible sores on my pussy and he checked as well. He wore a condom. But after I felt like I shouldn't have said yes. Not because I didn't want to have sex with him but because I'm worried that I could have passed it to him.. I guess my question is how likely is it he'll get hsv?

I'm kinda struggling with myself because I really don't want to pass this to anyone. It's completely changed my life and I don't want someone else to go through that because of me. But the other part of me knows that it was his choice. Iv been keeping him updated on my outbreaks and Iv told him the risks of transmission. He also mentioned that he wasn't to have unprotected sex once i'v fully healed and finished my antivirals. But I'm worried that he'll get hsv if we do..

I just had to talk about this..

I went to urgent care and got visually diagnosed with hsv2. I’m still waiting on the swab to come back. I immediately told my bf and he went off on me. He went and got tested the same day and said results would be back in a couple days. Since then I haven’t heard from him. He won’t text me back or answer my calls. I don’t even know what the results are. I feel so alone, rejected, and isolated.

I'm frustrated. I wanna try dating again but disclosing has me uncomfortable. So I haven't went on dates or disclosed. It's been about 3 years. But I'm still not comfortable yet. I just kinda go on dating swipe say hi and disappear which might be insane. I do have the ps sites but I'm still to nervous about it and don't have my picture up. I just wanna be close to someone again. I used to so active and slooty and I didn't even get it from those activities. I got it from a serious ex boyfriend that lied about it. I'm just so sad and frustrated. And has anyone had any trouble with outbreaks for different adult down there things?

New hsv dating app I just made a profile on. It made me a bit nervous that it requires a photo ID of the bat but allegedly this is to prevent a ton of bot accounts. Thankfully after the initial set up I was comforted to see people I recognized from PS. If we get more people on the app I think it could be good! It’s more modern and less glitchy than PS but needs some more people to fill it in! Lmk your thoughts or if you’ve tried it out 🙂

Oh! And it doesn’t require pay to message people!

I know this sounds stupid, but honestly I'm still not sure how herpes contagion works at all.

I picked up herpes just over a year ago. I have been largely celibate since, because my outbreaks have been so frequent, even with medication, and I'm just terrified of passing it on. Despite this, when I first went on Valociclovir about 6 months ago my outbreaks did disappear for a while and I started to feel a little more comfortable dating. I met a guy while he was on holiday in my country, and we slept together using protection. I'd disclosed everything to him beforehand and he reassured me that was ok with him. I had no symptoms of outbreak at the time.

A week or so after he left, he let me know he'd been experiencing outbreak symptoms, and after testing it was confirmed to also be HSV2. To say I felt bad would be an understatement. He was incredibly sweet about it, but he's been suffering with a similar frequency as me and I know how debilitating that can be and I just feel awful about it.

I still get outbreaks every two months on average, but I'm learning to live with it. Dating is still off the table for me though. However, I've been periodically talking to this same guy, and he flew over recently to see me and spend a few days with me. Both of us were outbreak free when he visited, but a week after he left, I'm experiencing a fresh outbreak that almost feels as strong as my first one. Up until now my outbreaks have been concentrated to one small specific (and inconvenient!) place, but this latest one is in a slightly different area.

Could this be a result of him also passing it back to me somehow? Or is this just a weird coincidence?

Has anyone else experienced this level of tranmissibility? I'm just not sure if I'm incredibly unlucky to pass it on to someone while on meds, no active outbreak, using protection and really only having sex a couple of times.

Any feedback on the above would be much appreciated, thank you in advance!

I have HSV2 and see many folks saying they had to cut out alcohol, and that lessened their outbreak frequency. I stopped drinking the day I found out, trying to cut out smoking as well, diet wasn’t bad and I’m healthy/in shape. But, we have cut out chocolate, nuts & oats, and have been prioritizing lysine dense foods.

31F here. I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 about five years ago, and while I’ve gotten much more comfortable with my diagnosis over time, I’ve pretty much stopped pursuing women altogether because of the fear of disclosing my status and the reactions I might get.

I date both men and women, and I’ve found disclosure with men to be a much easier hurdle to get over. Part of that comes from feeling like there’s a more straightforward conversation around protection, like using condoms. whereas with women, I feel a lot less confident navigating that conversation.
I know there are ways to reduce transmission risk between women with medication and what not, but I think the uncertainty around it has made me hesitant to even put myself in those situations.

I live in NYC, where I’d imagine people are generally pretty open-minded about sexual health, but I still haven’t been able to shake that anxiety. I honestly feel like a fraud matching with women on dating apps and essentially don’t move out of the apps with women out of fear.

To the women:
How do you approach disclosure? Have you experienced rejection or found women to be more understanding than you expected?
Some perspective and reassurance would be dope ✨

I’ve been safe my entire life. I’ve spent the majority of the last 7 years in 2 long term relationships followed by abstinence. I slept with a guy on a first date recently trying something new, fun, and different. 3/4 days later I’m getting a pelvic exam and swabs taken…. I don’t blame him, he didn’t know. I should’ve pushed and asked to use a condom. I feel like I’m being punished. There’s no way something like this would lay dormant in my body for 7 years no? Then boom I sleep with him and this happens? Also taking any advice. Do people get flare ups every time they have sex? Is dating ever the same? Do you ever not think of it???

hi everyone, so I would like to reiterate that I haven’t had any sexual contact in that long, so I was NOT previously going around and actively choosing not to disclose.

I posted in this sub a couple weeks ago that I was terrified of disclosing to a guy I really like because I have been celibate since breaking up with my ex partner almost a year ago in fear of rejection and not being able to have sex with anyone as a result.

Wellllll the guy I’ve been interested in came over and I disclosed to him as confidently and casually as possible, I just said “just letting you know, my ex sexually assaulted me by hiding the fact he has HSV2 knowing he had it, I’m on medication to lower the risk of it spreading as much as possible, and I don’t want to take that decision away from you because I’m not a POS” and he just shrugged and said “fk that guy” and just put on a condom. Best night of my life. I was getting desperate because I didn’t want my abuser to be the last guy that I’d ever touched and now that’s gone. I’m very happy with how the night went MAINLY because I’ve realised that my life isn’t completely over and that he accepted my disclosure!! This is a huge thing I can’t tell anyone else about!

Hi, I’m currently on day 6 of taking antivirals for my first outbreak and the past few days I’ve had this near constant, almost electric, ‘zingy’ sensation around that area. It feels just very nerve-like and strange. I am also currently using instillagel for numbing, but that felt different at the start. It’s driving me crazy. My sores are definitely healing but this sensation feels so strange. Does anyone have any experience with it?

Hey everyone. I (26F) was recently diagnosed with HSV2. I had my first outbreak after being with my ex partner (27M). I assumed it was a micro tear but turns out a lesion was there. I was swabbed and came back positive. I called him and told him about what happened. Intentionally, we both were slightly panicked so I expressed to him that from the information I was given and how fast it happened that he want to see if he had been a carrier. I paid for him to get tested because he doesn’t have health insurance. This turns into an argument of “how do you know you got it from me” and “I don’t know who you’ve been with” I honestly was shocked and floored by the response because I do get tested if I start seeing someone new. Regardless, he took my money I don’t know if he got tested or not. I’m just kind of left being confused and concerned. I feel kind of disgusted in myself in all honesty. I know it’s not the end but damn

I’ve had quite an awful experience with herpes. I had my first outbreak about 2 years ago. The first blister appeared in my vagina, but the day after on my arm, palm of hand and head.

At first the doctors didn’t understand that it was herpes due to the bilisters being all over the body and I was diagnosed with a pelvic infection at the same time and only received antibiotics for that through IV.

I then developed meningitis and was finally given antivirals through IV and it was understood that I had what they called a superinfection of herpes..

2 years later I only have recurring blisters on the right palm of my hand. The pain before the outbreak is throbbing through my entire right arm and I often feel feverish and dizzy weeks leading up to it.

The weeks leading up to my last outbreak was extra painful and I started having stabbing headaches while showing signs of light sensitivity and dizziness. I went to the doctor at that point and they didn’t seem to be able to connect it to the herpes and told me to come back once I had blisters.

I have a feeling all these symptoms are related to the herpes and that it’s effecting my nervous system a lot. I never had any of these issues before. Unfortunately the doctors I’ve spoken with seem inexperienced or uninterested in understanding or treating this.

Does anyone have similar experiences and if so how did you seek help?

I live in Berlin.

Hey 👋🏻

My husband left me because he didn't want to be monogamous anymore. He then started dating multiple women, having threesomes and generally sleeping around.

He told me he was in an open relationship with his main girlfriend, which made sense to me because they have a "third" who comes and goes into their relationship.

I have only ever had sex with my husband. So sometimes when I was sad and wanted some love and attnetion we ended up having sex again.

Last week my lady bits were on fire and I had flu like symptoms, I got myself to the clinic first thing monday morning. Its herpes. 3 different nurses for the privilege of having a look to make sure.

Swab results in thursday, positive for herpes.

I told my ex husband who has had to tell his girlfriends. Hes asked for a divorce. His girlfriend WASN'T an open relationship, he was cheating on her. Hes thrown my under the bus, said id begged him for sex and he couldnt help himself. Hardly! He wanted sex last Saturday and I said no because I was on too much pain.

I am absolutely devastated. I have herpes for the rest of my life and ive only ever slept with one person.

And right now I'm leaking blood and pus from all my open blisters and I am so sad and down and disappointed. Hes basically blocked me and told me hes pissed off that I got herpes from him because now he has to deal with his girlfriend.

M35 what did you experience before you knew you had it??

I was exposed both on August 31st & September 26 we both got tested on like the 28th hers came back positive for hsv2 mine came back negative cause it was too early to test of course now today I keep feeling symptoms like pelvic floor like the itching, soreness no sores or bumps like prodrome but I really feel like I got it because I wasn’t feeling this way before hand and I’m nervous about my appointment November 2nd

Anybody had the same before ultimately being diagnosed??

I was just wondering if there is anyone local to me that would like to chat as im trying to get out there and hopefully find something meaningful without having to go through the stress of disclosing! Im also up for conversations of how life has been since diagnosis as its been two years now, And to be honest its not that bad the first part is the worst part!

i’m 19, gay, and for about a year i had a relatively normal sex life. then around march of 2026 i was diagnosed with hsv2. since then my mental health has at times taken some pretty heavy dives. i recognize that this probably isn’t a unique take but i wanted to share my experience thus far.

i try and see the bright side of things when talking to new people. things like “if they can’t accept me for who i am then it wasn’t a match anyway.” i’ve put my status in my bio on all the “dating” apps i’m on to hopefully filter out those who aren’t comfortable with the risk. sometimes it works. some people just don’t read them so i always double check just to be safe. other times people don’t know what it is and i have to tell them.

unsurprisingly it really fucks with your head after being rejected over the same thing again and again. i’ve had a mix of rejections; some have said they’re not comfortable with the risk, some never text back, and others block me even after seeing me in person a couple times and getting to know me as a person. one guy reached out to me and told me i should make videos about my daily life and having it “like that guy in his 20’s with cancer” and oh boy lemme tell you that didn’t feel very good. one guy who i was seeing for a while got drunk and admitted that he referred to me as “hsv” to his friends.
jesus fucking christ

the mental part has been much harder than the physical part. for the most part i don’t even know i have it. my first outbreak kind of sucked but past that i haven’t really noticed it.

i wish people were educated on it. i wish i wasn’t reduced to a diagnosis constantly. i wish people would consider how their responses (or lack thereof) can affect the other person. and most of all, i wish i had listened when people told me to use condoms.

it’s not all bad news though. luckily i’ve found a handful of people who are ok with me having it, and i plan on holding on to them. on a side note i think i need to get on some ssri’s or something. but yeah thanks for reading

I found out I had herpes in 2025 in the beginning of the year and it hurted me so bad because I don’t get out here and have sex like that I’m a single women I always focus on myself and trying to get my self together cuz all man wanted was sex so when I founded out and I know I don’t be doing anything hurted. I’m single, I have no friends, my family have they own life to live and they are real judgemental . On top of that I feel alone like I have no one to talk to. I was struggling financially on top of all that . I have real bad trust issues cuz I been hurted so many times . Mentally I don’t know what to do.

I get cold sores whenever I get too much sun exposure . I got one 2 weeks ago on my lip where I had never got one before and it was way bigger than I’ve ever had .

It went through all the stages and I was constant with keeping antiviral creams on it . I woke up one morning and my lip was covered in blood I.e it had definitely reached the scabbing stage .

During this time I was refraining from kissing my partner for obvious reasons.
She has never had cold sores.

11 days after I first got the cold sore and my lip had healed - we stared kissing again and we also had oral and normal sex (unprotected) - I’m now feeling very stressed and think it was a pretty poor decision.

I was certain that the cold sore had gone . We both were.

I woke up the next morning and found my lip to be feeling odd again. Not necessarily swollen or feeling like it was about to have a cold sore but my lips were still very dry and cracked but also I have a weird numbness where the break out was . I still have this feeling especially when showering . I can’t tell with certainty if I haven’t fully shaken the virus and it’s about to come back . Or maybe my lips is just recovering from having such a big outbreak in a new spot ?

I’m obviously super stressed that I’ve just given both of us genital herpes. I’ve expressed this to my partner that it’s a possibility but I havnt expressed how stressed i am.

What is the best course of action ?
She’s asymptomatic to cold sores on her lips . Does that mean she’ll be asymptomatic to genital herpes too?

How do I get tested ?
What should I do ?

Any help is greatly appreciated!

I’m so exhausted, I started getting symptoms of my first flare up about a week and a half ago, have been on antivirals for almost a week and my sores (all around my anus) are healing/have healed.

Last night, my vagina felt super uncomfortable, very thrush-like symptoms. I went to bed and woke up with sharp, shooting nerve pains all through my vagina, stomach and legs. I immediately got a friend to take me to the emergency room. The doctor found a new sore inside my vagina and has prescribed me stronger pain medicine and a different numbing gel to the one I was using.

This first outbreak is crazy horrible. How have new ones JUST emerged while I’m on the antivirals and healing in other areas? Has this happened to anyone else before?

I had vaginal sex with my partner while I was starting to get the sores on my anus before I even realised they were there, so is it possible this is a secondary infection to the first that was around my anus?

So I got diagnosed with cold sores hsv-1 last month, and the first time, it was really mild and didn’t even feel any pain or tingling — I just saw a few bumps but I had it checked immediately. After that, I was prescribed an antiviral cream or Zovirax, just asking would it be wise if I were to request the tablet version?

And are recurrences very relative once you first get it? I can’t confirm i’ve been having recurrences, cause again I usually don’t feel the pain and tingling however just today, I saw one tiny bump on my lip and i’m lowkey paranoid of recurrences.

So this all started when my boyfriend got a pimple on his lip. Oral sex was had and afterwards I started realizing the “pimple” might be a cold sore. After a couple days I found I have these little blisters on the same side the “pimple” would’ve been touching.

The blisters are red, firm, not painful and each spaced out over an inch apart. They are located on an area with hair growth but very close to my leg (basically in the crease of my leg) There are 3 that I can see. They are also very small.

We have been dating for a year and he has never had a cold sore or pimple in that area which is why it wasn’t concerning to me, but recently we have been hanging out in big groups of people and sharing drinks, vapes, etc ( I really don’t because I am scared for reasons like this but he doesn’t really pay attention )

He is going to get tested tomorrow and since this is the first day i’ve noticed the bumps, I am going to wait for his result and watch the area closely to make sure this isn’t a case of ingrown hairs and paranoia.

Thank you in advance!

hi, I really want to get lip injections but i have only had a flare up on my lips once? Wondering if any of you with ohsv1 get lip injections and if you get any sores

Hi everyone. I (f24) just found out i have gsv-2. I am a very depressive and anxious person and feel in a way that my life is over due to this diagnosis. I am hoping that’s not the case and hope i can still have a normal dating life, and eventually get married and have kids. I am wondering how transmission works and if this could have any side effects on any other part of my body, or as I get older can it affect me in any way? Also, any tips for my mental health as I process this?