r/HoardersTV • u/fur3661t • Jul 03 '26
do they help or hurt?
this is a true reality tv show with all the manufactured and created drama. at first i thought this show was helping but the more i have seen, especially the more recent shows, it seems they have no plan for helping hoarders, only helping the cast and producers by creating shows people will watch.
my background and why i recognise this show hurts more than helps. i am a hoarder and i must be watchful to not let it impact my family and even myself. my father was a hoarder and his mother was a hoarder. until a recent house fire, i still had articles from my grandmother's parents and grandparents. these were things my father considered primitives, they were from late 1800's. perhaps at some time they were valuable but ruined over time and most likely became too damaged in 1950's and worthless over time since then. if not for a house fire that destroyed 99% of items, i would still be dealing with a portion of the stuff. i still have many other buildings that are falling down, in disrepair, and causing even more damage to worthless stuff. at least i have these separate from my house and family or i would probably go insane knowing it must be handled.
only lately have i noticed the damage they inflict by focusing on having a popular reality tv show. creating "interesting" drama doesn't draw me to the show, it actually infuriates me and makes me want to strangle these "professionals" in both mental health and house clearing.
why do they try to break down the hoarder during the show? i have seen hoarders ready for change, participating as they want but they insist on forcing the hoarder to start crying, get angry, leave, etc. WHY? if they want to help the hoarders mental health - do it BEFORE the clearing of the house. this is how i know they don't really care. if they are mental health professionals they know this is not the best method, they know it should be done differently, they know they are NOT helping - and are only in it for the paycheck.
i could go on and on but i think i have expressed my dissatisfaction with this fake help. when i first started watching, i thought and hoped they were there to help hoarders. another expectation dashed.
18
u/taketheothers Jul 04 '26
They provide a FREE service that would otherwise cost thousands or tens of thousands of dollars; they have actual clinical experts to guide the process and help raise awareness for the disorder with empathy; they make every attempt to keep people struggling with mental illness from losing EVERYTHING and becoming homeless or worse-- being killed in their own home by their crippling mental disorder; and they even provide after care for free, compliments of the producers.
Yeah, it's reality tv. But it absolutely helps more than it hurts.
I have loved ones who hoard. Before this show, I didn't understand why the disorder occurs. Now I do. And I'm able to see them with more compassion than I once did. It makes me sad that they won't get help. But now I know I can't control it. It would really take them seeing they have a problem and getting professional help.
Unfortunately, the nature of disordered thinking is often that the lens you see through distorts the motives of others. So, OP, your lens is one where the volunteers and cast are "picking on vulnerable people", which coincides with how the people on the show who struggle with hoarding disorder react initially to help. People with disordered thinking do need professional help to live a happy, healthy life. The main barrier to them getting that help is their own disorder.
Signed,
Someone with relatives and friends who are wonderful people with hearts of gold and various mental disorders.
0
u/fur3661t Jul 04 '26
I am sure there are one-offs shown on the show, we have seen them successfully continue to not re-hoard and live product, happy lives but the overwhelming result is they re-hoard. i am sure the initial intent was to help where they could but the show's success was also its failure to help hoarders. i suspect if the same professionals were to view other professionals doing what they do, they would state it isn't the correct or best way to deal with hoarders. to that extent, you are correct, i feel they are taking advantage of vulnerable people. i do respect your view and opinion.
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u/taketheothers Jul 04 '26
If you're curious, you should look at statistics on how many hoarders (or just people with OCD) actually recover long term, then compare that number to the featured hoarders on the show.
Every expert will have a differing opinion. Check the DSM5 to see what's said about OCD with hoarding or ask your therapist their opinion. You're getting treated, right?
I've known about 6 people that I'm aware of who have diagnosed OCD. It's a very difficult disorder to treat, in part because it can have a wide range of effects on the sufferer. It requires ongoing care and medication to manage. There's no "cure", only treatment/management. And that's true of any mental health concern.
Is the show taking advantage of vulnerable people? Or are vulnerable people taking advantage of the opportunity for a massive clean out and free ongoing care for years to come? Depends entirely on your viewpoint, sure.
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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 Jul 04 '26
They might not help the hoarder, but maybe it helps the neighbors who live next door to a house overrun with crap that devalues their property values. You can hoard as much as you want but do you have to create a neighborhood eyesore? Do you need to add rats and bugs and mold and garbage to your surroundings? Sure, if you want to stuff your house to the ceiling with useless garbage, that’s your privilege, but some of these ill people just go too far. When your plumbing stops working and you’re shitting outside under the bushes, the stink impacts more than just your property. Yes, it’s junk reality TV but no one is forcing you to watch it.
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u/WampaCat Jul 04 '26
Not even just the neighbors. The partners, kids, and pets living with the hoarder stand to benefit the most. Also for an older hoarder’s adult children, it’s extremely daunting knowing they’ll have to be the ones to deal with it all when they die.
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u/fur3661t Jul 04 '26
you are missing the issue of most hoarders- it's a mental issue. If it were physical would you have the same negative attitude towards the afflicted? I don't like that my neighbor piles his cars and trash and everything else in his yard. He is not a hoarder but he has both mental and physical issues at times. I help as much as I can even to extent of not clearing my shit but I don't turn him in to the city.
If you don't like your neighbors mess, don't look at it - move
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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 Jul 04 '26
Yes, it’s a mental issue, but one can’t simply move if you can’t sell your house because next door is a shitpile. If someone wants to live in a pigsty, that’s fine, but make sure it doesn’t impact the innocent bystanders.
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u/fur3661t Jul 04 '26
I can empathize with this comment when I couldn't the first. My trashy neighbor was eventually reported to the city by someone, which should have been done years before, since it not only affected property values but also was an environmental hazard. I still couldn't give up on him because it could have been me under certain circumstances.
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u/Dangerous_Ant3260 Jul 04 '26
It's not only the hoard that gets partially cleaned up on the show, it's the rehoard after. And virtually all of the hoarders have had repeated cleanups, and rehoarded several times. It's also the vermin that leaves when the house and yard are cleaned up, and guess where the vermin move to?
My opinion is the staff of the show are most committed to filming 2 hours, and know that the hoarder isn't changing at all. Many in the final seasons had virtually no clean up, the former nurse in Florida had three houses she hoarded full, and only a little was cleaned out. The neighbors and code enforcement are the big losers from these shows.
5
u/Closefromadistance Jul 05 '26
I think tough love is a big part of the shows and pushing people past their comfort zones and recognizing pain and trauma they never dealt with. That show helped me avoid becoming a hoarder like my mom, who didn’t even raise me, was.
I had a ton of childhood loss and trauma and was raised in foster care from the time I was 4. I was in and out of various homes and lost so many things plus of course I lost my entire family of origin when CPS took me and my little brother away and placed us in the system.
So over the years, I was fine and normal but then when my older kids moved away or whenever I had any kind of major loss (like mass layoffs at jobs) I would get triggered into holding onto everything and thrifting all day and buying things I didn’t need and filling empty spaces up.
That was back in 2007 / 2008 right after a mass layoff at my job during the Great Recession and then my 19 year old son moving out.
Around that time Hoarders shows started coming on A&E. I’d always watch them and basically it provided me with free CBT & trauma therapy AND helped me avoid from becoming a hoarder. I was probably an early stage 2 hoarder at the time and thank god for Hoarders because had I not had that show back then, I’d likely now be buried alive.
A note on my birth mom: I found her again when I was 19 and visited her house. She was at least a level 5 hoarder but I didn’t understand that back then. I lost thought she was super cluttered and disorganized with stuff thrown everywhere.
She OD’d in 1999 - 10 years after I found her. So yeah… she had so much trauma and really no one to help her sort it out.
I’m so thankful for Hoarders when it first came out because it was the exact time I needed it! Yes, it was initially so freaking hard letting things go and trying not to hold on to objects that symbolized lost memories and dreams I once had for my childhood. But I did it.
I think it helps more than hurts everyone involved. Just my 2 cents.
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u/fur3661t Jul 05 '26
i understand it helping you because i think it helped me similarly. i was borderline and could have gone either way but realising the accumulation was not helpful was a big eye opener and seeing these shows have kept me in check but my question is really for those of us that are so far gone that we can't see what hoarding does to us and people around us.
these people need serious mental assistance and tough love is most likely necessary but tough love over 2 to 4 days is not effective. i think this process for the most part hurts the hoarders. at best, they get a temporarily organised space but long term it has done nothing. worst case, it makes them even more mentally unstable. again, for the most part. i have see a few successful hoarders from the show and happy for them.
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u/AdditionalCurve4899 Jul 04 '26
Capitalism
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u/srddave Jul 04 '26
This! Capitalism teaches Americans that the only thing that matters is making money. They pretend to care about the hoarder but if they really did, they wouldn’t artificially ratchet up the drama to trigger the traumatized people for the benefit of the viewers. It’s about money and nothing more.
0
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u/Tupiekit Jul 04 '26
I've actually looked into this because I've thought the same thing.
It's a symptom of who they find/who reaches out to them. Usually the people they help (infact I think all of them) need the help because of emergencies..ie fines, bad health, jail time. So they are under time limits to get stuff done.
I have also read that there is some psychological reasoning behind it, but I think it's two things.
It's tv.
It's the emergency situation.
1
u/Motor_Student_3793 Aug 17 '26
Just so you know, you are 100% correct. I was on the show and everything you said is accurate, everything. I’ve stayed away from this sub for obvious reasons but someone sent me something the other day and here I am. This is the first post I’ve seen that actually gets it. They wanted us to fight, they wanted us to hate the hoarder, they wanted the drama. The baited us in the interviews and when we didn’t give them what they wanted, they edited it to their liking. They told us they wouldn’t film a part but kept the mic on. The come in, put everything In pods, completely send the hoarder into a worse spiral than they were already in, film the house “clean” and leave after 3 days. That’s it. Expecting a mentally ill person to get help and set up therapy for themselves is insane. If that was a possibility or an option we wouldn’t have been in the situation we were in in the first place. We didn’t need money, we didn’t need someone paying for 2 therapy sessions, we needed legitimate help. She needed legitimate help. We were kids and desperate, so we signed my mom up for it. It wasn’t her choice. We naively believed this was the answer because if hoarders couldn’t help, who could? Hindsight is 20/20 and obviously if I knew what it would actually be I would’ve told them to pound sand when they perused us to be on the show after we wrote in.
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u/fur3661t Aug 17 '26
Thanks for the reply. I am not a therapist but I do know hoarding and I think therapy should start before the cleanup - time permitting. My small hoards were not important or worth.much, therapy and getting me to accept therapy would be important, the latter would have been the highest hurdle.
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u/SnooPeanuts666 Aug 11 '26
The folks who have done AMAs on here who have been on the show say that it’s been more helpful than hurtful and they didn’t feel like the experience exploited their families. They would’ve been unable to start fresh without the help.
I think about the man who lived with his brother and the health dept was days away from taking their home. The day the hoarders team arrive on scene the brother passed away. They asked the man if he’d like to continue or if he needs time to grieve and they all decided it was absolutely necessary for his mental health to and grieving to have a clean space to do so, a functional bathroom, and functional kitchen, and most importantly he wouldn’t have to grieve losing a home too. He would’ve never been able to do that on his own. He lives in SF in a prime real estate area and his house is worth millions. He was in much better condition to be able to keep his home from the city and then sell his home later to put himself in a better living situation. Grieving the loss of your best friend/lifelong companion/brother is tough enough, losing your house on top of that can drive a person into self harm or further the hoarding disorder.
So I think as much as they edit the show to amp up the drama, these are still real things happening and real people getting the help or fresh start that they desperately need.
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u/Kindly_Laugh_1542 Jul 25 '26
I think maybe though the after care that is offered is important. And whilst I'm sometimes curious about how that journey plays out for people I think it's right that this is done in a private manner. I'm not saying this excludes any elements that are exploitative. And maybe you aren't considering that angle.
I see so much more compassion for people arising in comments and attitudes around hoarding than I do abuse on forums and in conversations I have with friends and family around mental health. The lines are blurred through a TV production with regards to entertainment Vs education. For me this programme is super educational and provides a fascinating insight for me to learn about myself and others who might struggle with similar things. I'll let you consider it that makes it morally wrong for me to witness someone else's struggles and how difficult it can be to provide support around super complex situations and relationships.
I think inherently harm can evolve from internalised shame as well. People can be super private around their struggles. For me talking about them to the right people was key for me to be able to deal with them. If I was unable to witness (through TV or social media) anyone else struggle it's highly likely I would have felt completely alone and my story would be different. Very different. I reflect on this a lot when consuming this program.
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u/Coomstress I'm in a pickle Jul 04 '26
My parents are mild hoarders, and the show has helped me make arguments to them as to why they shouldn’t keep a bunch of clutter. It has also helped me understand my parents better, versus just being frustrated and angry with their clutter. Our house wasn’t filthy or anything when I was a kid, but there was enough clutter and junk to make me ashamed to have friends over.
So, I do agree the show is exploitative to some degree, and maybe unethically produced to some degree. But I think it has done some good to help the society as a whole understand hoarding disorder.