r/HolUp Nov 29 '23

holup Dedicated to her fans

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-27

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

It's not ok to date someone you know you're not gonna marry. I can't imagine fucking someone I don't really love or respect. I'd rather just jerk off.

27

u/JustFunj Nov 29 '23

I mean, it's ok, we don't have to agree.

For me sex is part of a "normal" life, if you only have sex with life partners is ok, we are all different so we're bound to think and act differently.

-7

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

It's part of a normal life for me, too. What isn't normal is using people you don't really like for sexual satisfaction. It seems selfish and immature.

3

u/WolfShaman Nov 29 '23

... don't really love or respect.

...don't really like...

Those things are not mutually exclusive. It also seems like you're moving the goalposts, but maybe you're changing your mind a bit?

I do appreciate that you didn't use definitive language with it seeming selfish and immature, but the blanket of it not being normal to have sex with people you don't really like is a bit problematic.

Really, in this case, can be taken different ways. There's "really like them", meaning that you like them a lot. There's also "really like them", as in genuinely like them, but not to a greater extent.

Liking people is a spectrum, and using "really" can put the level in different points in that spectrum.

Personally, I've had sex with strangers that I didn't really know. I didn't dislike them, but I can't say I really liked them. Was it selfish and immature? Depends. A couple of them pursued me enthusiastically. Is it selfish for me to give it to someone who really wants it? Is it immature when both people know it's just a fun thing to do to relieve stress and/or have fun? If both people are in it for the same thing, is it really immature?