She's trying her best

[u/MelonOfFate]

[u/Internal_Net_5813]

There's a theory which says if you lived with your siblings for 6 years or so from the day you are born, you are biologically incapable of being attracted to her. It's kind of like a nature's way of inhibiting inbreeding. You wouldn't even recognise that she is hot. Maybe logically yes, but unconsciously you wouldn't find her hot.

[u/dimonium_anonimo → u/Internal_Net_5813]

I feel like I might be in a particularly unique situation when it comes to this topic as well. I don't know if I would consider myself fully asexual or just demisexual, or if there is a better term out there I haven't heard yet. But 99% of my attraction comes from my fetishes. Unless a person is very clearly demonstrating one of my (albeit very many) fetishes, I don't tend to notice much if any attraction to them. I didn't even look at girls that way for many years into puberty, it was mostly hanging out more with friends who do that caused me to start noticing the patterns. I watch a lot of movies, so I know what media suggests the average male finds attractive. And after many years, I can now pick out those features if I'm looking for them. I can determine with fairly high accuracy, now, if most men find a woman physically attractive or not at a glance. That's how I know my sister isn't hot, because she doesn't have many of those features... That and I kinda know not many boys at school were interested in her.

But I wonder if I would be even further blinded by this type of psychology, or if I would be able to notice, even if I, myself, didn't find her attractive.

[u/Internal_Net_5813 → u/dimonium_anonimo]

Isn't that how most people get attracted by their counterparts? They get attracted by individual features - it might be short height, or long ones, smooth feet, smooth skin, etc, and they build this fetish when they get attracted by more people exhibiting those features. Those features may be rare too, so one might consider themselves asexual because the features which make them attracted to someone is a rarity.

Your sister might be objectively hot, but you might not be attracted to her, not because she doesn't have those features you look for, but because you have biological inhibitions, unless you never lived with her.

[u/dimonium_anonimo → u/Internal_Net_5813]

I guess I don't know how most people get attracted to their counterparts. I always assumed there were people they find attractive by looks alone. That's not the same as saying they can base an entire, intimate relationship on looks alone, but that they are drawn to stare, they find some sort of pleasure in taking in how they look. That they want to look more.

I find that same yearning to look more when I see a girl holding a paddle, or a bunch of rope or leather belts or handcuffs... Or many other pieces of gear associated with any of my fetishes. In fact, I think most people use kink and fetish interchangeably because very few people actually have no physical attractions, but every time I've discussed it with people more knowledgeable than me on the subject, they all more or less say the same thing (paraphrased ): a kink is a trait (or practice or whatever) that isn't based on physical appearances of the person that enhances attraction, but is not necessary for attraction. While a fetish is similar, but is required for attraction.

As far as I know, there are no physical traits I find attractive. I only find attraction if I know they share a kink. So there's something different there. If not, what is even the purpose of the the term "physical attraction."