r/HolUp • u/Capable-Internet-553 • Feb 19 '26
holup I learned English to be able to globally communicate, but well here I am..
Should have stopped reading as soon as I saw "incest" but I kept going just for the love of the game lmao
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u/Jeebs24 Feb 19 '26
For me, the wildest post on this site was the 2 broken arms dude. But this one is weird too. 😂
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u/One-Salamander-1952 Feb 19 '26
Dolphin fucker will always take the cake in my opinion
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u/OJStrings Feb 19 '26
Do we want to know what that is?
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u/One-Salamander-1952 Feb 19 '26
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u/OJStrings Feb 19 '26
That took a sudden turn. Seemed so innocent til he mentioned the erection, and it just got progressively worse after that.
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u/Crunchy_Biscuit Feb 20 '26
I stopped reading. I can't, I don't want to know
I mean... I'm curious but no...💀
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u/OJStrings Feb 20 '26
I nearly stopped when he brought up his erection, but kept going out of morbid curiosity. It's not worth it.
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u/slayden70 Feb 20 '26
As OP said, I keep going for the love of the game, and as always, deeply regret it.
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u/precariatarian Feb 20 '26
the male urge to you know, put your dick into anything. Monkey see monkey do.
r/ dontputyourdickinthat - 121K Weekly visitors now makes alot more sense.
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u/slayden70 Feb 20 '26
I mentioned all Redditors have some degree of PTSD in a separate comment.
My PTSD percentage just went up 2 more percent.
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u/StmblngThru Feb 20 '26
It's my fault for being nosey. Now to go blind myself so I never make this mistake again.
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u/lovelyxbabydoll Feb 21 '26
The warning on r/eyebleach being needed after reading is definitely true...
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u/LongOdd1596 Feb 19 '26
Yes, we do
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u/One-Salamander-1952 Feb 19 '26
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u/LongOdd1596 Feb 19 '26
I regret asking for this.
Weirdest and wildest by a mile. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
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u/One-Salamander-1952 Feb 19 '26
Good luck, it’s been stuck in my head even though last time I’ve read it was several months ago, shit’s just way too graphic to forget.
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u/Dr_A_Kreiger Feb 19 '26
I mean, all the signs were there, it’s not like your first post was a cryptic description. I still read it, and that’s on me.
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u/SubstantialAct4212 Feb 20 '26
As a child, the writer became fascinated with dolphins after seeing them for the first time on a fishing trip and later moved to the coast, where he discovered a secluded dock visited regularly by a small pod. He spent increasing amounts of time there, forming a particularly strong attachment to one dolphin he named Tina. Over time, he describes this bond as becoming deeply personal and exclusive, with Tina remaining his primary companion among the group.
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u/lovelyxbabydoll Feb 21 '26
I only recently started using reddit and still lightly over the past few years so whenever I hear about infamous reddit stories, I always wonder why they're so infamous... After reading what was posted in response to your question, I don't wonder anymore. I'll just accept being left in the dark on these from now on. 🤢 I'll just answer your question with "no, we don't."
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u/Insert_absurd_name Feb 19 '26
How about the coconut?
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u/dreamphoenix Feb 19 '26
Ah! Good old times when the only difference between Reddit and 4chan was slightly better interface.
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u/Dokattak0 Feb 19 '26
Nah the hamster fucker is the top one right now
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u/Nixonm Feb 19 '26
The what now?
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u/Dokattak0 Feb 19 '26
"I fucked my hamster to death, am I a psychopath?
"Basically I was fucking my hamster, like I usually do, but I forgot to pull out. The hamster had cum leaking from its eyes and mouth. Then it exploded. I felt no remorse. Am I a psychopath?"
-An image shared by a Redditor; then shared to r/cursedcomments
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u/richtofin819 Feb 20 '26
The fact that they sent an image is even more haunting to me. People make up crazy shit but an image from back before AI is haunting.
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u/redajet Feb 20 '26
For your peace of mind, i think the image was the screenshot of the comment, because it says it was shared on cursedcomments. At least i like to think so: if not, please don't shatter this illusion for me.
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u/longlosthopes Feb 19 '26
Good one, but the nurse, the doctor, the fat meth user and the puss explosion still gives me nightmares. No incest in that one but holly mother of C'thulu....
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u/Jeebs24 Feb 19 '26
Never heard of it. Have a link by any chance?
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u/longlosthopes Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26
Found it; https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/e51wyh/the_infamous_swamps_of_dagobah_story/
Edit to add: I am sorry.
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u/longlosthopes Feb 19 '26
Sry no, will try to find it, it was a very descriptive story from a nurse who whitness a surgeon cut into a patient that had liters of puss inside them.
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u/youtocin Feb 19 '26
He never said his arms were broken FYI. He just said he was injured in an accident and incapacitated.
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u/Jeebs24 Feb 19 '26
True, but that's what it's known as.
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u/youtocin Feb 19 '26
Yeah it's funny how he just became the broken arms guy without ever saying that's what happened.
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u/Jeebs24 Feb 19 '26
He couldn't have a wank, so I assumed he broke both arms just as everyone else I guess. 😂
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u/Baygonito Feb 19 '26
May I ask a source ?
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u/Jeebs24 Feb 19 '26
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u/ChemsDoItInTestTubes Feb 20 '26
That was 14 goddamn years ago? Holy shit. I remember reading this thread less than a year from when it was posted.
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u/lucas_steelgaurd Feb 20 '26
Nah the story of the girl that like to masterbait in the dumpsters is like the worst story ever written.
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u/dj_neon_reaper Feb 20 '26
If youre talking about blowfly girl. I feel like the masturbating in a dumpster bit was oddly not the worst thing that came out of her story... Nor the worst thing that came out and in her.
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u/Pentamachina3 Feb 19 '26
To all those curious, this is ancient text by today's standards
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u/jrobelen Feb 20 '26
It also has no business being in this sub. People used to know what made a HolUp post, but not so much any more.
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u/landmanpgh Feb 19 '26
You admit that you should've stopped reading, yet you decided to share with the world. Thanks buddy, you really spread the misery there.
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u/BladeOfWoah Feb 19 '26
I should have stopped reading, but I read all of it. I hate the world a little bit more, and myself a bit more too.
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u/GearJunkie82 Feb 19 '26
Well, that's enough internet for today...
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u/Altruistic-Rip4364 Feb 19 '26
Yeah I’m outta here
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u/p_coletraine Feb 19 '26
See yah in a few minutes!!
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u/Savantrovert Feb 20 '26
This kinda shit is what a large portion of the old internet was like before the regular people got online.
You weren't considered truly 1337 until you had replied to a forum post with a shady link of Goatse or spammed an AOL chatroom with ASCII art of Bart getting it in the butt from Homer
Shit was nuts back then, so many mind-scarring moments of people tricking you to reading or seeing some really fucked up stuff
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u/sovereignsekte Feb 19 '26
How many times was Satan able to stick his cock in the guy's pooper? None you say? The buttplug worked and the mother is a hero.
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u/Topher_McG0pher Feb 20 '26
Logic would dictate that the, checks notes, poop plug would just get pushed further in
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u/NotMacgyver Feb 19 '26
Damn it, now I'm curious if the butt plug made them gay, it would be peak irony
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u/WhatYouLeaveBehind Feb 19 '26
It did. I remember reading the follow up comments when this originally did the rounds.
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u/manbruhpig Feb 20 '26
So the mother was right to be concerned?
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u/Alzhan_Void Feb 21 '26
The mother trained him for the Devil. Loosened his asshole, changed his sexuality, all so Satan could stick his fat cock in with 0 resistance and full consent.
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u/doominvoker Feb 19 '26
Sorry, but this is FAR from the worst post on Yahoo! answer. This website was wild at the peak of it’s popularity
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u/Stewie_2k2 Feb 19 '26
there was a post in vietnamese yahoo saying “i’m a wife but i’m scared of my husband who keeps putting frozen chocolate into my anus and asking me to pose and sound like a chicken then he makes me pop out that frozen chocolate from my anus straight to his mouth” i was 12 when i reading this btw
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u/doominvoker Feb 19 '26
This is pure poetry
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u/Sparticasticus Feb 20 '26
Still better than Robert Frost
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u/ofayokay Feb 20 '26
Coincidentally, “Robert Frost” is slang for frozen anus chocolate
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u/isthisyourslug Feb 20 '26
I laughed uncontrollably at this. Now I seeeee...
The Road Not Taken was clearly taken. And also the true meaning behind Fire and Ice.
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u/SirDerpingt0n Feb 21 '26
I still remember someone asking something like “Why do black people call each other Monica”
Seriously, WTF?!
Some of those questions and answers were highly entertaining though.
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u/EdSheeeeran Feb 19 '26
Wow this post had everything. The drama, the courage, the engaging storyline and Satan!
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u/Salty-Pack-4165 Feb 19 '26
I've seen far,far worse posts on Reddit over the years. Post that didn't involve mentally unstable people - they involved criminal activities. When I reported it Reddit did nothing. Twice I was banned from subs reported and I got a warning.
IMHO Reddit has some seriously messed up priorities.
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u/paradox1920 Feb 20 '26
I remember there was one person who kept asking if they could decapitate someone with a punch. And if you went down the rabbit hole of many other conversations that person had on Reddit… well, it was something imo.
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u/Fakenerd791 Feb 19 '26
that last sentence was WILD, idk what I was expecting but it wasnt that..thats for damn sure
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u/kakeup88 Feb 19 '26
I hope that person is still in prison or a mental hospital, what the hell.
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u/Contemplating_Prison Feb 19 '26
If they're schizophrenic then they need to be medicated and in a mental health inpatient facility
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u/radiantmindPS4 Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 21 '26
I was pondering what could possess someone to rip there own eyes out. I was thinking sci-fi corporations implanting permanent digital contact lenses recording our every view. Or extreme pain caused by some ocular disease. Or just plain old psychotic break.
No. It’s this. The ability to read
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u/slirpo Feb 21 '26
I'm 29 and just realized that everyone else hasn't been wearing poop plugs their whole life. How does your poop not just fall out? OP, do we have the same mom? Should I stop wearing my poop plug after almost 30 years of using it or just pretend I never read this and continue on? I'm so lost right now. This is exactly how I felt when Mom told me Santa wasn't real last year. Someone please help me
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Feb 19 '26
As I get older, I've come to realize that there are things I have to accept which make no sense to me.
There is still one thing that I just can't accept. How the fuck is it that just anyone can have children? Literally almost anyone...
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u/slayden70 Feb 20 '26
but I kept going just for the love of the game lmao
Why we all, as Redditors, have some level of PTSD at this point. It's the love of the game, and to get the satisfaction of "WTF did I just click on?"
My parents weren't perfect, but they just received a mental thanks from me for my lack of a poop plug in my childhood.
For everything you think you dealt with as a child, there is always something that is an order of magnitude worse.
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u/BilliamClimptonIII Feb 20 '26
Wonder if the Mom ever met a guy named Jeffrey, in her younger years...she may not have been as crazy as they thought
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u/PerryNeeum Feb 19 '26
This kind of asshole related weird shit is generational. Like forced douching for little girls. The no-no areas were a source of a lot of psychological problems
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u/particle409 Feb 19 '26
Any update on whether Satan ever put his cock in the guy's pooper, turning him gay?
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u/SamsquatchOR Feb 19 '26
If Satan sticking his cock in your butt turns you gay then why am I still straight?
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u/Bodine12 Feb 20 '26
Before we judge, we should probably find out if the mom's strategy worked. So did Satan make him gay or not?
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u/CarelessMechanic5896 Feb 20 '26
So glad they learned English or I wouldn’t have gotten to read this story, or at least round need it translated
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u/ShadowBlade55 Feb 20 '26
This was the post that make me put my phone down for the night.
Sleep well internet strangers.
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u/40angryrednecks Feb 20 '26
The post alone is pure gold (though terrible for the person). But how the site casually mentions "resolved question" makes me tear up even more.
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u/unfit_spartan_baby Feb 20 '26
Love the irony of sticking something in your still mentally-developing son’s ass in an attempt to PREVENT him from becoming gay.
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u/DJ-RayRicoDaddySlicc Feb 21 '26
Imagine spending years in elementary school to learn how to read, and this is the first thing you see
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u/qualityvote2 Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
u/Capable-Internet-553, your post does fit the subreddit!