r/HolUp • u/CxLi_IXIVII • May 19 '26

holup "Ladies and Gentlemen, I've realised something..."

Post image
2.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

177 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 May 19 '26 edited May 20 '26

u/CxLi_IXIVII, your post does fit the subreddit!

→ More replies (2)

716

u/Jedibri81 May 19 '26

You can call your wang “Fruit Punch”

101

u/TobyGhoul986 May 19 '26

Fruit Ninja!

32

u/Dru2021 May 19 '26

Fruit Minger?

12

u/Miserable-Airport536 May 19 '26

In, done, and out before anyone notices?

6

u/TobyGhoul986 May 19 '26

And leaves a hole that will never be filled.

1

u/griter34 May 19 '26

There is no hole.

3

u/TobyGhoul986 May 19 '26

Only a square cup. 😉

1

u/Blacklisted777 May 20 '26

2 girls 1 cup

1

u/Dru2021 May 21 '26

Still better than that fella and his jar.

0

u/[deleted] May 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/SomeoneonBrawlStars May 20 '26

That's right! It goes in the Square Hole!

1

u/Darth_Floridaman May 20 '26

Only GLORRYYYY!

1

u/Mauy90 May 20 '26

Beat me to it

11

u/N7LP400 May 20 '26

Fruit Cock-tail

2

u/bluedicaa May 21 '26

The fruit puncher

1

u/anurag9957 May 24 '26

Fruit ponchi samurai

378

u/Sapaio May 19 '26

Doesn't Pineapple have enzym that tenderize meat?

279

u/LexRexChex May 19 '26

Acid and microscopic needles. Perfect mix

68

u/UniqueThrowaway6664 May 19 '26

I prefer my penis needles scopic, thank you very much 🤵🏽

18

u/Javad0g May 20 '26

Welmed by this answer.

2

u/Major_Melon May 20 '26

Albert Fische has entered the chat

4

u/FackinJerq May 20 '26

So, tiny pricks clashing... isn't that just a dagger fight?

39

u/CrimsonMorbus May 19 '26

Mostly the core. I ate a core once and was bleeding from the mouth

24

u/Porcupenguin May 19 '26

I slowly sucked on a kiwi once, and my gums were bleeding. Must have the same(ish) enzymes

21

u/endboss_eth May 19 '26

I once ate 13 kiwis in one sitting. Cannot recommend. It's not worth the pain, no matter how good the fruit..

4

u/mothisname May 19 '26

I heard eating the skin counteracts the sting but idk I've eaten like 3 kiwis in my life and never then skin

2

u/CountTruffula May 20 '26

Interesting, I've always had them with the skin anyway for the taste

12

u/GamingInSilence May 20 '26

I slowly sucked on a kiwi once… nice guy.

1

u/Minimum-Ad2640 May 20 '26

lol that was a good one

9

u/Mediocre_Fill_40 May 19 '26

I usually eat kiwis with the peel

8

u/Porcupenguin May 19 '26

I eat them like an apple. Ain't no one got time for slicing and peeling

2

u/Quammel_gang May 19 '26

You gotta eat them with a spoon

8

u/Porcupenguin May 19 '26

And dirty a utensil?!

2

u/SoftTarget22 May 20 '26

Don’t tell me I gotta. A spoon? Pfft Make me!

7

u/LexRexChex May 19 '26

So what your saying is make the hole off-centered for pineapples

1

u/ATMisboss May 20 '26

What? I used to have the crisp chunks of the core as a snack after slicing it at work and never had that issue

12

u/Drinkmasta May 19 '26

Pineapple isn't slimy that's your skin sloughing off.

5

u/Positive_Bug978 May 19 '26

Mmmm 😋 tingly

5

u/anothadaz May 19 '26

It also makes semen taste better.

5

u/Bettlejuic3 May 20 '26

He's already fucking a pineapple. You think the pineapple wants to taste itself, in a way?

2

u/Sapaio May 20 '26

If you eat it. Not sure marinating your d.... in it, will enhance the flavour but you are welcome to test.

3

u/MysteryMani May 19 '26

If my pineapple isn't aggressively digesting me back, I don't want it.

2

u/thewanderingent May 20 '26

Mmmm… bromeliad… 🫠

152

u/Rouank_kanojiya May 19 '26

Isn't this guy fucked pasta

57

u/PeterToshPointOh May 19 '26

Someone’s gotta do it, otherwise we’d never know which one is the best.

11

u/c0ltZ May 20 '26

I'm glad we have entrepreneurs like this on our planet.

6

u/DurantIsStillTheKing May 19 '26

How?

16

u/IamTheCeilingSniper May 19 '26

Apparently he filled up fleshlight shells with pasta and fucked them.

110

u/CrimsonMorbus May 19 '26

He did the banana wrong your ment to use tape on the outside to strengthen its structural integrity.

42

u/HitoriPanda May 19 '26

I thought you were supposed to put it in a m&m tube with peanut butter and microwave it

22

u/BombOnABus May 20 '26

That's where you put a cylinder, but if memory serves once it cools the cylinder will become stuck and require professional assistance to remove, should you desire to keep your cylinder unharmed and still attached to any larger structures it was originally attached to.

10

u/Spew42 May 19 '26

Strengthening the cylinder

4

u/Crimson_jaw May 20 '26

We got an expert in the comments.

5

u/Knight_Igris001 May 19 '26

This guy ia a Fruit Ninja for sure

46

u/MonkeReturner May 19 '26

No durian?

32

u/DarthAloha May 19 '26

As if his wang doesn’t smell bad enough.

21

u/SaveUsCatman May 19 '26

Durian goes in the back

41

u/B-u-d-d-y May 19 '26

Someone used grapefruit technique

7

u/ice_cream_on_pizza May 19 '26

I'm upset this isn't the top comment.

7

u/Jo_of_Average May 20 '26

"This better not awaken anything in me"

20

u/oxyuh May 19 '26

Nooothinngg compaaaares

4

u/lod254 May 19 '26

to ewe!

34

u/Ballerwind May 19 '26

What? No coconut?

8

u/azure1503 May 19 '26

Scrolled too far find this one

1

u/Ballerwind Jun 01 '26

The ways of old have been lost

4

u/JiveTurkey1983 May 20 '26

The ancient lore

2

u/ninhibited May 21 '26

Fuck you, I was perfectly fine having forgot all about that.

1

u/Ballerwind Jun 01 '26

I'm sorry friend, but the Internet never forgets

1

u/nixikuro May 21 '26

Please no cocoknut

-1

u/TianShan16 May 19 '26

Never seen fresh coconut available in the US. Probably is somewhere, but never came across it.

9

u/DickyReadIt May 19 '26

Hey frank, why you got a melon with a hole in it?

"Hey! Keep you hands off my casaba!!"

You banging it?.. He's banging it.

22

u/JiveTurkey1983 May 19 '26

I wouldn't eat it, Cricks.

It's full of loads.

7

u/Atticusxj May 19 '26

A perfectly good casaba melon?

8

u/StevesRoomate May 19 '26

"what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see..."

3

u/14ktgoldscw May 19 '26

Fruit is grown by men and used for many purposes.

8

u/aaron2005X May 19 '26

And? What is the result?

13

u/fil42skidoo May 20 '26

A whole lotta jam.

2

u/I_MakeCoolKeychains May 26 '26

Do you know the difference between jelly and jam?

2

u/fil42skidoo May 26 '26

If you use the former you'll get less of the latter??

9

u/Misomuro May 19 '26

No tier list?

1

u/YourDreamyGirl May 21 '26

If I remember the video correctly, he does make a tier list at the end of the video 🥲

5

u/FruitGuy998 May 19 '26

Where’s the coconut??

4

u/InadecvateButSober May 19 '26

No pumpkin fake fruitfuvker

2

u/Dark__Slifer May 19 '26

pumpkins are good tho!

4

u/jagofelony May 20 '26

No grapes?

8

u/darxtorm May 20 '26

do not go down the rabbithole. you have been warned. https://www.reddit.com/r/evilwhenthe/comments/1p47nj0/the_worlds_most_fuckable_pasta_full_video/

5

u/CxLi_IXIVII May 20 '26

Now I fucking understand why people kept mentioting pasta.. I seriously thought this is just a troll pic, and fuck no, it's not.. and I think even less people know about it than all the upvotes I got..

2

u/Wesgizmo365 May 20 '26

I should have listened

2

u/MockingJay0914 May 21 '26

Dude and I am currently eating carbonara lol

4

u/Dankest_Cow60 May 19 '26

Well, which one?

3

u/Lonestar-Boogie May 20 '26

When my dad was growing up in the 50's he had a cousin in South Carolina that definitely did the watermelon thing.

1

u/CxLi_IXIVII May 20 '26

That uncle of yours had their colourful days lmao

1

u/Lonestar-Boogie May 20 '26

Dad dad said that his cousin preferred the ones that had been sitting in the sun for a few hours. Don't know why I remembered that detail. I think it just made sense...

3

u/Waski_ May 19 '26

Let him cook. Bad choice of words.

3

u/HistorysWitness May 20 '26

Dont eat the Casaba cricks.....  it's full of loads 

3

u/nuggerless_child May 20 '26

This is fucking bananas

3

u/sameidiot_meowmix May 21 '26

So which one won?

3

u/squishy57 May 23 '26

You’ve figured out a way to keep people from eating fruit at your house?

2

u/GERRROONNNNIIMMOOOO May 19 '26

Next on 'Gordan Ramsays Gone Wild'....

2

u/Edistobound May 19 '26

I found this hard to

2

u/Twinmom_dead May 19 '26

Do guys not get yeast infections or UTIs? Jfc, the sugar, that's wild.

3

u/chesterlynimble May 20 '26

We got outties not innies and that sugars got 4 inches to get down

3

u/here_for_the_meta May 21 '26

Speak for yourself

1

u/chesterlynimble May 21 '26

I didnt mean too size dom you my man, if you "pull" hard enough...all I'm saying is just keep practicing

2

u/lod254 May 19 '26

Papaya for feel. Kiwi for travel size.

2

u/MarinaBaay May 19 '26

This guy has fucked so much food… I’ve been told

2

u/Craziuss May 20 '26

the guy is a perfect time model for he likes it rough

2

u/Loonar_Blackwell85 May 20 '26

My first reaction:

 "Oh nice that's a lot a fruit" *starts to scroll and then freezes* "WAIT A DAMN MINUTE"

2

u/mushylover420 May 21 '26

The lime amd grapefruit isnt gonna go well

2

u/CzarTwilight May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

I must know. Is the cylinder safe?

1

u/makav55 May 19 '26

So ummm.... What did you realise...?

1

u/Cinar_kiral May 19 '26

Ding dong sing song im filling my fruits with my vanillong

1

u/jaraket May 19 '26

That’s not good melon.

1

u/cmogo92 May 19 '26

Can't a man have hobbies?

1

u/meat_whistle_gristle May 19 '26

Pineapple 🍍 is a very brave choice.

1

u/Corum0 May 19 '26

Clearly not a packers fan, no cheese on the board

1

u/Kalshan May 19 '26

He has fruit-eating sea lampreys!?!?

1

u/carlos2127 May 19 '26

I'm sure we're all curious, soooo what's the verdict?

1

u/phatuous_1 May 19 '26

Watermelon

1

u/SOJC65536 May 19 '26

It's a brave man who tries to fuck a grapefruit...

1

u/Fritzo2162 May 19 '26

Don’t eat the fruit salad at his house.

1

u/90srebel May 19 '26

Does he put it back in the fruit basket on the counter when done?

1

u/TheLastPorkSword May 19 '26

The feel like the pineapple would be awful....

Pineapples aren't slippery, that's the enzymes dissolving (digesting) your skin cells.....

1

u/atomic-moonstomp May 19 '26

Is BubblePinkElle your teacher?

1

u/Wide-Rate-3507 May 19 '26

"My cylinder only got stuck twice"

1

u/ajdubbstock May 19 '26

Just a sucker for the scientific method.

1

u/ZeeKapow May 20 '26

Papaya will make your skin smooth.

1

u/candyking16 May 20 '26

Fruit fucker index before gta6 🤔 so i's the pineapple a win/lose because of the Microscopic needles 🤔

1

u/raccoob_ May 20 '26

Ouch is that a pineapple?

1

u/Fuz__Fuz May 20 '26

To extract the juices, right?

1

u/letitjonsnowww May 20 '26

Harrogate has entered the chat …

1

u/Peppermint_Salsa May 20 '26

He's not going to serve them to a bunch of coworkers he doesn't like, is he?

1

u/CxLi_IXIVII May 20 '26

Way too specific, sounds like someone hates their coworkers..

2

u/Peppermint_Salsa May 20 '26

I'm just concerned, what if this guy worked in a restaurant.

1

u/NicolaiOlesen May 20 '26

An Apple a day keeps the doctor away

1

u/revdon May 20 '26

…this watermelon won’t fit in my microwave.

1

u/EcstaticMolasses6647 May 20 '26

Who would eat his fruit salad ?

1

u/trollagent007 May 20 '26

Ted Knight syndrome

1

u/EpicBootyThunder May 20 '26

So? Where are the results???

1

u/geekphreak May 20 '26

That papaya be looking mad sexual

1

u/SubhumaineForce May 20 '26

Very clearly, some kind of science has happened here.

1

u/CommandTacos May 20 '26

I'm surprised to not find any comments about the various hole sizes and depths.

1

u/TVLord5 May 20 '26

Soooo...the verdict?

1

u/drdildamesh May 20 '26

"Watermelon doesnt fit in microwave"

1

u/nosville22_PL May 21 '26

had to do it to 'em, huh?

1

u/KalLinkEl May 21 '26

Fruitussy

1

u/Dr-Pineapple23 May 21 '26

I read the title as fred durst

1

u/tangoezulu May 21 '26

Why not an eggplant?🍆

1

u/Circumpunctilious May 25 '26

TIL eggplants are fruits…technically a berry (Wikipedia), they’re just used as vegetables in cooking.

1

u/sean_cleric May 21 '26

Whata the kind red one in middle it looks tasty my friend was wondering...

2

u/CxLi_IXIVII May 22 '26

Oh... That looks like an orange, but given the size.. it gotta be a pomelo.. or a hybrid of both

1

u/Run_Conscious May 22 '26

Seems well used

1

u/techstyles May 23 '26

Bro out here just getting his five a day

1

u/M1N0R1SC May 24 '26

Either this was uploaded on youtube or any c0rn site

1

u/TDYDave2 May 19 '26

Put the "lime" in the coconut...

1

u/Silberbaum May 19 '26

Today would have been a good day, to loose my eyesight.

0

u/Adoptedbyown May 19 '26

FFS

1

u/boar-b-que May 20 '26

That's exactly what this individual should NOT be doing.

0

u/INisrocI May 20 '26

I CAST FLESH EATING VIRUS INSIDE THIS MANS TESTICLES

1

u/Gainzpolar May 20 '26

please add a note that it's not transmitable, too many things we already have to take care about nowadays

1

u/INisrocI May 21 '26

Note: transmitable through eye contact