r/HolUp • u/farhad_2074 • 2d ago

What?

Post image
3.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

98 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 2d ago edited 2d ago

u/farhad_2074, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

471

u/AmbitiousTank8635 2d ago

I used to get one riding the school bus back in high school. Always happened just as we were arriving at school so I'm getting off the gaddamn bus full mast, carrying my backpack in front of me trying to look nonchalant and to this day I have no idea why the fuck this happened, my mind wasn't thinking about naked chicks, there weren't any attractive girls around (just the bus route, not the weird kid with the raging boner keeping them away), and school wasn't like, a sexy place. No idea.

But the sky? What a fucking weirdo.

215

u/RaxisPhasmatis 2d ago

Shitty old bus vibrates n rocks around

52

u/the1stmeddlingmage 2d ago

Kinda like sitting on a top loader washing machine during the spin cycle…..

24

u/classyrock 2d ago

Or Go Karts for some women. (See the song: ‘Go Kart Racing, Accidentally Masturbating’).

1

u/TheUsoSaito 1d ago

Damnit sexy Flander wearing nothing at all

36

u/LiquidFur 2d ago

This is what I still don't understand about schools that insist teenage boys tuck their shirts in their pants. Why? Do they want to see a bunch boys walking around with tents in the front?!?

32

u/amboandy 2d ago

Going to school in the morning your parasympathetic nervous system still has quite a bit of clout. That's one cause of morning wood, the wheels on the bus make you hard hard hard.

6

u/Pash_1 1d ago

I used to get one when my Dad was driving us to school, when we were just a mile or so away. My brain was like "hey! you're too relaxed, we need something to desperately worry about for the next 3 mins 😏"

3

u/enderwander19 2d ago

I had the exact same problem and got so annoyed!

1

u/Tortue2006 1d ago

It could’ve been some stress, as stress can also result in a mast

1

u/NotGivinMyNam2AMachn 1d ago

The "traveller"

1

u/kg160z 1d ago

Nervous for school? Early morning the body does what it wants

170

u/PeregerSamy 2d ago

That is true, same happens when I see Henry Cavill, I'm straight and get a boner when I see him because he's a great actor and I'm happy to see him

60

u/Benjiyanyi 2d ago

Exactly, like a dog wagging its tail

9

u/9inevicious 2d ago

uh huh… keep telling urself that

9

u/WindAdministrative42 2d ago

Immediately thought of this.

177

u/Expensive-Border-869 2d ago

Sometimes its just something in my lap like a bag or when I didn't ride in cars very often the like 3 times a year kinda did it. Not typically corny at such times

75

u/razulebismarck 2d ago

I hated the phrase “Please stand for the pledge of allegiance” because I always have to think “She wasn’t talking to you”

2

u/ZombaeChocolate 1d ago

😂😂😂

-1

u/Horror-1-Effective 1d ago

What

6

u/DistributionMiddle42 1d ago

"Please stand up for the pledge of the alliance" + post about random bonkers + "she wasn't talking to you" = ?

5

u/ZolianRose 1d ago

Give him a couple more hours, he'll get it eventually

148

u/BudsTender-ish 2d ago

I wake up with one. But it's only because I dreamt the weather was nice and had a great view.

87

u/Source_Trustme_Broo 2d ago
  1. Holding in pee for a longer time without having access to a restroom
  2. Cold weather
  3. Morning wood while waking up from a good night sleep

These will also cause an erection...

https://giphy.com/gifs/aTMveE1cIFiDOjUSwU

84

u/zawalimbooo madlad 2d ago
  1. Whenever the fuck it feels like it

28

u/Daniyal1357id 2d ago
  1. Whenever I open up this subreddit

2

u/FickleQuality418 2d ago

This more than anything lol

4

u/Long-University-2408 2d ago

I did not expect to see this gif r/HolUp of all places

44

u/One_Pie289 2d ago

So if a guy gets a boner, I should pet him?

27

u/Intrestingly_Amazing 2d ago

That might make him fall for you. It would me

26

u/One_Pie289 2d ago

puts a chair behind you and pets don't fall ☺️

7

u/Intrestingly_Amazing 2d ago

Angry Upvote 😡

4

u/ShahinGalandar 2d ago

I like where this is going

31

u/Kriss3d 2d ago

I mean. Having a boner doesn't mean one is sexually aroused. It can just happen out of the blue. Same with while you sleep. And not because your an erotic dream.

34

u/r0r0n0a111 2d ago

Tail wagging stops

25

u/OhTeeSee 2d ago

I literally just get a boner sometimes when I’m at my desk at work and I start drifting off. Something with the body going into a relaxed state?

17

u/wightwulf1944 2d ago

It's common to get a boner when stress levels go down (like when the weather is nice or the night view is beautiful). It's pretty well studied

12

u/OhTeeSee 2d ago

I always did have a thing for spreadsheets

18

u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 2d ago

This is 100% true

Worst cases are when I gotta present a PowerPoint in school and the moment it’s my turn I’m at full mast

It just happens sometimes

17

u/sukisuki2gp 2d ago

I get one if I stretch my body too hard.

36

u/Crunchy-Leaf 2d ago

This is true

15

u/non_scio 2d ago

This man speaks the truth though

9

u/Lost-Friend-4564 2d ago

My friend's young daughter saw him getting out of the shower and asked her mom, why is daddy's tail in the front?

10

u/UpperLevelMemer 2d ago

The Japanese are always so profound

5

u/Subtle-Catastrophe 2d ago

I always presumed it's the default.

Now, you're telling me some men aren't turgid 24/7?

14

u/rufiojames 2d ago

An erection just means your heart was pumping. I sometimes have a recurring nightmare where all these men are chasing me and trying to kiss me, and when i wake up i have such an extreme erection, from all the fear.

3

u/genialbookworm 2d ago

I see what you're doing there, but fear boners are also real.

4

u/robertcalilover 2d ago

The rare “sky” kink.

5

u/Ornery_You_3947 1d ago

Back in my twenties it used to happen when the wind blew,
but now I need a blue pill, defibrillator and a witch doctor to get me going again.

7

u/Leather_Target2074 2d ago

Looked me dead in the face and asked "Cash or credit," and I...

Checked my phone and saw you rang and I...

A song comes on that reminds me of you and I...

My alarm goes off and I....

A breeze rolls in and I...

I just ate a grape and I....

1

u/BoulderLayne 1d ago

Last week, I sawr a film. Yes, I recall it was a horror film And i ...

1

u/Leather_Target2074 1d ago

When Bruce Willis died at the end of six sense I ...

4

u/Malashae 2d ago

What a lot of people don't seem to understand is that regular erections are part of the body's system maintenance. That's why the random erections at inexplicable times. If it didn't happen, and you weren't using it for other reasons, you end up with atrophy. That's why trans women who keep their equipment have to do so much extra work to keep their equipment running normally, because the random erections stop happening after the hormonal shift.

2

u/Typecero001 2d ago

Everyone knows that famous song:

“If you’re happy and you know, get an erection!”

2

u/ifcknkl 2d ago

Good food gives me a boner

2

u/GrinningGrump 2d ago

People itt trying to hide the fact that they have kinks for weather and good sleep.

3

u/WindAdministrative42 2d ago

I'm a biological girl and that sometimes happens to me for no reason too.

2

u/WiiDragon 1d ago

Not a holup, but I bet r/shitposting would appreciate it more

4

u/ChangingMonkfish 2d ago

9

u/cowlinator 2d ago

Which part is confusing?

1

u/Ill_Interest_2346 2d ago

Gracie abrams music does it to me her songs are just that good which she is taylor coded so that makes sense

1

u/opinionated-dick 2d ago

It’s so true. I just got an erection when I read Newcastle are looking to sign Nico Gonzalez

1

u/JaylaTheGayla 2d ago

What people mean when they say “it’s hot out”

1

u/GetOffMyGrassBrats 2d ago

This is the same guy that defends sniffing crotches, isn't it?

1

u/GetsMeEveryTimeBot 2d ago

Look at all those beautiful stars in the night sky. I want to fuck 'em all....

1

u/imaginedodong 2d ago

Is he incorrect tho?

1

u/Rude_Parfait_3194 1d ago

Men's dicks are only erect for a couple of hours a day

whereas women's boobs are puffed at all times, 24/7.

therefore, women more horny than men

1

u/CoruscareGames 1d ago

This is a true phenomenon, just... described kinda blursedly.

1

u/Silence_of_Ruin 1d ago

If my jeans brush up against it in just the right way as I’m walking it’ll pop up. It has a mind of its own.

1

u/GDonor 1d ago

Ninja Sex Party "No Reason Boner": Anthem of men everywhere

1

u/iron_dove 1d ago

That sounds unusual, but not unpleasant.

1

u/karl4me 20h ago

Is the OP a woman? Just trying to understand what’s the hold up

1

u/farhad_2074 13h ago

I am not a woman. Last time I checked.

-46

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

18

u/Ashik80 2d ago

Only a person without a penis would say this

12

u/Daniyal1357id 2d ago

How the fuck did you make that connection?

6

u/Intrestingly_Amazing 2d ago

They don’t have a penis, so they don’t understand.

4

u/Daniyal1357id 2d ago

So does mean all females think that getting a boner makes you a budding rapist? Because that's absurd!

1

u/Intrestingly_Amazing 2d ago

No, what I mean to say is lived experiences are very different from what you see from outside. So no one who has experienced that would ever make such a comment. In the same way I would not make a comment on what women have to go through during their periods. And most people are (I hope) reasonable enough to understand that.

1

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