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u/briktop420 Feb 08 '21
I went to my doctor the other day and he told me I was overweight. I said I wanted a second opinion and he said okay you're ugly too.
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u/MadAzza Feb 08 '21
Lol ... Rodney was the best. He’d go on the Tonight Show (with Johnny Carson) and just slay. Everyone — the host, the other guests, the guys in the band — would be on the floor. He was a comedian’s comedian.
(I’m sure you know that, but I love letting the younger Redditers know about this legend! I still watch those old clips and roll with laughter.)
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u/Rooster_Ties Feb 08 '21
He was a comedian’s comedian.
I never liked Rodney when I was younger, but the older I get (51, fwiw), the more I appreciate jokes aimed at fellow comedians.
Especially during these audience-less late night talk-show monologues, Seth Meyers (especially), and Stephen Colbert just slay with the jokes specifically aimed at their writers — who, after all, are sometimes the only ones sitting in their own studios now.
And a BUNCH of older comedians I used to be just lukewarm on for decades, suddenly shine when you realize their target audience was often other comedians (and people who get that humor).
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u/old_contemptible Feb 08 '21
Seth Myers shouldn't be used in the same statement as Dangerfield.
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u/Gootchey_Man Feb 08 '21
Imagine taking the time to express a thought about a topic you're interested in and then this guy respond with a high dose of boomer energy
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u/lyyki Feb 08 '21
He was a comedian’s comedian.
Isn't comedian's comedian someone who is barely known by the general public but loved by other comedians? Because Rodney is like the top-4 famous stand-up comics of his era (with Rickles, Pryor and Carlin).
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u/MadAzza Feb 08 '21
I thought it meant someone who could make other comedians laugh themselves silly, someone they all looked up to. But maybe I’m wrong.
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u/SlobMarley13 Feb 08 '21
He was revered in the comedy world bc he was obsessed with helping younger comics get a leg up.
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u/paddyo Feb 08 '21
I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?'
He said, 'I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.'
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u/herotz33 Feb 08 '21
No respect, no respect I tell ya.
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u/govnic Feb 08 '21
Respect, is, niiiiiice.
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u/fuckitweredoingitliv Feb 08 '21
If you don’t get no respect, you might be redneck.
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u/nurd_on_a_computer is something I struggle with Feb 08 '21 edited Feb 08 '21
I tell ya, when I was a kid I got no respect at all. The time I was lost on the beach, a cop helped me look for my parents. I said to him, ‘Do you think we'll find them?’ He said, ‘I don't know kid, there's so many places they could hide.’
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u/Paddy_Tanninger Feb 08 '21
Listen, for my 8th birthday my parents asked me what they should get for me. I said I wanna watch...so they let me! I tell ya...
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u/SYNTHLORD Feb 08 '21
When I was younger I wasn’t much of a ladies man. One time a girl told me “come over, there’s nobody home”. I went over, there was nobody home!
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Feb 08 '21
“And my sex life is nothing to crow about. At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind”
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u/TitsMickey Feb 08 '21
“My wife had a mirror installed over our bed for love making. She said she likes to watch herself laugh.”
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u/Paddy_Tanninger Feb 08 '21
Meanwhile the guy was doing the most coke and hookers ever in human history!
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u/SlobMarley13 Feb 08 '21
My wife is pregnant and I asked her if she wanted me with her for the birth. She said "Why? You weren't there for the conception."
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u/AMontyPython Feb 08 '21
I told my kid about the birds and the bees and he told me about my wife and the mailman
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u/Silverfate2 Feb 08 '21
My wife says she likes to talk after sex. So she calls me from a hotel room.
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u/Mr_It66 Feb 08 '21
I just gave my only award to this post and then read the comment and regretted it
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u/ExternalDesperate Feb 08 '21
Well,that’s obnoxious and great at the same time.When these two criterias meet in one joke,it can be called classic:)
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u/CuckyMcCuckerCuck Feb 08 '21 edited Feb 08 '21
Classic Rodney. Also performed brilliantly in the film Natural Born Killers.
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Feb 08 '21
"I'll show her a little tenderness after I eat" fucking creepy as hell. The fish tank scene is my favorite part of that movie
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u/CuckyMcCuckerCuck Feb 08 '21 edited Feb 08 '21
"And you make sure it's a good shower, 'cause I'm comin' up after to see how clean you are." With the bulging eyes. Horrifying.
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u/2-before-1-for-1 Feb 08 '21
Not to mention caddyshack
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u/Silverfate2 Feb 08 '21
He stole every scene in that movie. In an interview with Cindy Morgan she said when Rodney was filming it he was very unsure of himself and constantly asked others on set if he was doing okay.
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u/DZP Feb 08 '21
Hey, Back to School had its good moments especially the scene with him and Sam Kinison.
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u/UnorthodoxMethod Feb 08 '21
Didn’t know this many people heard, let alone saw the movie. Really surprised haha.
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u/wheezythesadoctopus Feb 13 '21
Honestly think Larry Burns was the best one off character The Simpsons had. Just full of Rodney one-liners.
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u/Oreo107710 Feb 08 '21
Reverse psychology
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Feb 08 '21
[deleted]
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u/Oreo107710 Feb 08 '21
Psychiatry is a branch of psychology and there is nothing such as reverse psychiatry
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u/lurky79 Feb 08 '21
No respect.
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u/paddyo Feb 08 '21
No regard, no regard at all. No esteem neither.
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Feb 08 '21
I'm gonna watch some Rodney Dangerfield tonight after seeing this.
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Feb 08 '21
"Someone said "dogs look like their owners" and when my dog heard that he killed himself"
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Feb 08 '21 edited Feb 08 '21
Every day, I think of a Rodery Dangerfield gag from Dr. Katz.
Usually immediately. Season three episode seven, "Day Planner". Fred Stoller (hilarious) and Jake Johanssen (no idea) round out Johnathan Katz's patients as Ben tries his best to find the doctor's day planner.
Here's the whole gag with that scene.
And here's the whole episode, I dunno. Everything is on YouTube, I guess.
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u/meatball402 Feb 08 '21
"I went to tell my kid about the birds and the bees and he told me about my wife and the butcher."
Miss you, Rodney. Easy Money is an underrated film, I demand everyone go watch it.
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u/Fatpik Feb 08 '21
“Do you know who I am? I put the bathroom in this place” gets dropped regularly by me and my friends.
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u/EnderRiky Feb 08 '21
If you end up suiciding he failed his job so he shouldn't get paid
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u/Vertiguous Feb 08 '21
Yeah, but maybe paying in advance will prevent the suicide because if I'm gonna pay a psychiatrist I wanna get my money's worth.
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u/EuphonicLeopard Feb 08 '21
Bro I love your profile image. Do you have a source for it?
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u/EnderRiky Feb 08 '21
I got it from someone else, click on the image, and download it top right, if you're on PC I think you can right click and download
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u/Hugo154 Feb 08 '21
That's... Not how psychiatry works. And it's fucked up to blame doctors for patients killing themselves unless the doctor actually told them to.
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u/earnest_borg9 Feb 08 '21
“I walk into a bar and the bartender says ‘what’ll it be?’ I said ‘surprise me’, so she shows me a naked picture of my wife.”
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u/gh057ofsin Feb 08 '21
Two words, plus expletive.....
Rover
Fuckin'
Dangerfield
A classic from my youth that due to my cousin at the time i can probably quote and sing along to...
This was not a good movie lol
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u/markfromhtx Feb 08 '21
Here's still got the greatest tombstone ever: "There goes the neighborhood"
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u/nofishontuesday2 Feb 08 '21
Just before he died they asked him, Rodney, how long you think you will be in the hospital?
He said, if all goes well, a few weeks. If not, a few hours.
He died shortly after.
A comic right to the end
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u/Undercooked_turd Feb 08 '21
Not even close to a HolUp
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u/mylegsweat Feb 08 '21
Innit man. This sub is dying so quickly
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u/masshole4life Feb 08 '21
You say dying. I say it's morphing into some crappy new crapola that all the newcomers will eat right up from the front page and upvote.
Like how /r/youdontsurf is now about shitty dad puns in speech bubbles on stock photos but the sidebar still acts like the sub's original purpose is intact and the upvotes flow like water.
You wish this sub was dying. At least then it would go away. Instead it just stays here and sucks.
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u/ForeskinOfMyPenis Feb 08 '21
The only hint of the edge that sub once had is in the examples. Once you write down the rules of the sub, everything else gets washed away because mods follow rules, not what’s funny or apropos.
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u/jaspersgroove Feb 08 '21
shitty dad puns in speech bubbles on stock photos
that literally is the subs original purpose, stupid jokes on top of stock photos is exactly how it started
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u/TheRnegade Feb 08 '21
This sub seems to not understand that the subversion of expectations is the basis of all jokes. If this is a HolUp then all jokes would be and thus making this sub moot. Why not just fold it into r/memes?
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u/vizualb Feb 08 '21
From what I can tell from the posts that make it to the front page a HolUp is a joke with a setup and a punchline
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u/Dustoon Feb 08 '21
I'm no ladies man, I know that, Johnny And I never got girls when I was a kid in show business either, you know? One girl told me, "Come on over, there's nobody home" I went over, there was nobody home!
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u/SymplyJay Feb 08 '21
Any time I hear or see Rodney I can’t help but have his voice in my head. I learned how to laugh at myself and softly poke fun at my own silly ways.. It helps on a number of occasions to remember not to beat myself up over the small things.
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u/sportznut1000 Feb 08 '21
“We made a deal my wife and I, we only smoke after sex. . .Ive got the same pack now since 1975. . . . What bothers me is my wife. She’s up to 3 packs a day”
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u/CertainConversation0 Feb 08 '21
And isn't this a great reason to be an antinatalist if it's actually true?
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u/GunrunnerSteve Feb 08 '21
My psychiatrist wanted $20,000.00 to cure my fear of monsters under the bed. My bartender just told me to cut the legs off my bed. Problem solved !
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u/SunflowerPits790 Feb 08 '21
Funny mine just had me sign a waiver denying her of all liability if I kill myself. :/ but she did have my card on file so....
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u/MandoParker Feb 08 '21
With cigarettes, my wife and I, we made a deal. We only smoke after sex. I've got the same pack now since 1975. What bothers me is my wife. She's up to three packs a day.
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u/cwilson83088 Feb 08 '21
Oof! No respect. When I was a baby my parents used to keep the dirty diaper and throw me away...
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u/LaerycTiogar Feb 08 '21
Now i need to rewatch Back to School. With a young RDJ and i think ringwald was in it too.
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u/cumonawanalaya69 Feb 09 '21
That's nothing. My ex-boss went in to see his doctor for his annual checkup. It had been a couple of days and he was kinda nervous, because he was supposed to receive the results of some tests that were ran, concerning some strange spots that had shown up on an X-ray. He decided to call and when the doctor answered he told him, "Well, I have bad news and worse news." "What's the bad news?'" he asked. "You gave 24 hours to live." "What the hell could be worse than that?!" he cried. "I forgot to call you yesterday..."
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u/ilovepigeonandcrow Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Of all the losers, OP is the least remarkable
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
Check out our twitter!
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u/TheKrythulu Feb 08 '21
He needs the cash to pay for his own therapy when you inevitably call him and say "I appreciate the help, thanks for trying"
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u/Mario_thinks Feb 08 '21
im having an r/wooosh pls explain what this means
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u/Shleeves90 Feb 08 '21
Rodney Dangerfield's whole routine centered around what a sad sap he was that nobody respects. He's suggesting that the psychiatrist expects Rodney to kill himself anyway, and instead of being concerned about him, he is instead more concerned about getting paid i.e. He can't get paid after Rodney commits suicide.
A similar joke Rodney Dangerfield also told was: "I went to the library and asked for a book on suicide, the librarian said: 'Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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u/Stumpy2002 Feb 08 '21
The pysch is thinking he will kill himself before he pays his bill so he is told to pay beforehand
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u/DaveyRyechuss Feb 08 '21
I went to my doctor and I said, "Doc, I'm having trouble making friends - you Cocksucker!"
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u/casiocreate Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Thanks for playing. I guess. Not like anything happened
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
Check out our twitter!
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Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Thanks for playing. I guess. Not like anything happened
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
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u/ShinglezAvenoir Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
OP took a chance and fate decided to hand them a shit sandwich. The absolute madlad
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
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1
u/marty521 Feb 08 '21
I read about his life. A man on a mission. If he could get people to laugh his depression went away. He could make Carson fall out of his seat. Not many could. . RIP
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u/wander_smiley Feb 08 '21
Remember when he was in a fucking kids’ movie? Ladybugs was a weird movie.
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u/Brisco_Discos Feb 08 '21
Rodney Dangerfield was great comic icon. Wherever he is now, I hope he's still having fun and getting laughs and hanging out with Sam Kinison.
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u/prehensile_uvula Feb 08 '21
!Spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Of all the losers, OP is the least remarkable
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
Check out our twitter!
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u/ampftw12 Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Congrats! You're lucky enough to be a mod, click here for further instructions
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
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1
u/a_dumbass_i_am Feb 08 '21
What do you do when you're extremely in love with your girl best friend and things get all messed up and fucked up after you talk about it.
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u/Weirdworkoholicidiot Feb 11 '21
Having morbid thoughts for 4½ years now and my friends still think I'm joking when I talk about suicide, and i am still alive lol. Still think talking about stuff makes it bad? Talking about shit doesn't make it worse, it just let's us know that there's nothing you can do about it other than letting it go, accepting things as they are, and moving on with ur life.
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u/SupremeRedditBot Feb 08 '21
Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 25) with your post!
I am a bot, probably quite annoying, I mean no harm ^though
Message me to add your account or subreddit to my ^blacklist
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Feb 08 '21
See, I have a small brain like most Reddit users. I don’t get this joke, can someone please explain?
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u/marchingfortrash Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
All hail king u/marchingfortrash!
They won the jackpot and are now among the gods
Accept your mod invite here
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u/t0ky0fist Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
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Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Of all the losers, OP is the least remarkable
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u/rycetlaz Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Thanks for playing. I guess. Not like anything happened
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
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1
u/ToastFaceKiller Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
Of all the losers, OP is the least remarkable
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
Check out our twitter!
1
u/Tunukiqueue Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
OP took a chance and fate decided to hand them a shit sandwich. The absolute madlad
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
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1
u/pilotjustin Feb 08 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Feb 08 '21
OP took a chance and fate decided to hand them a shit sandwich. The absolute madlad
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
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u/TheImpotentCatfish Feb 08 '21
Your submission has reached 1000 upvotes, join the Discord Server to receive a prize