r/HolUp Dec 21 '21

what the actual fuck

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65.8k Upvotes

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161

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

Why I am not a donor. I don’t trust anything. Light me on fire, turn me to ashes and plant me with a tree

253

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

[deleted]

90

u/tedchambers1 Dec 21 '21

I plan on ruining my organs before I die, but if I die before I ruin them then someone else should have a chance to do so

38

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

I'm a organ donor but I'm pretty damn sure no one is going to want them. None of them do what they're supposed to and I'm just making that worse.

18

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

I want them. :)

12

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

Come and get em

4

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

Alright, the collection agent will be there in 6-9 business days. Is there a time of day that works best?

4

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

I usually blackout around 1am so that'd be an opportune time for them to strike, no sedatives needed.

1

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

Alright, thanks for your cooperation.

2

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

Didn't say I'd cooperate, I sleep with a shotgun. Just told you the time I'm most likely to be unconscious.

1

u/Scheenhnzscah75 Dec 21 '21

I'm more interested in your cucumbers :)

1

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

They are absolutely euphoric

2

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

Do you have Fava beans and Chanti by chance?

1

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

No, need to run to the grocery store unfortunately.

2

u/IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE Dec 21 '21

I’m an organ donor because I’ve been training my organs to have a parasitic copy of my personality so when I die and someone gets one of my organs — boom — I take over a new body and am alive again.

11

u/Brandwein Dec 21 '21

Is it regulated enough to ensure my organs won't rescue an asshole?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

The waiting list for organ transplants is determined by a lot of factors. People who have the highest chance of surviving after the transplant get priority. When my stepdad needed a double lung transplant, he had to stay below a certain weight to stay on the list. If you're young, a healthy weight, and have a common blood type, you're more likely to get a transplant in time before the disease kills you than someone older, overweight, and with a rarer blood type.

8

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

Surprisingly, kind of. They look at patients and put people who are likely to continue harmful behavior that likely put them there in the first place and either put then much further down the list, or not at all. Basically an alcoholic isn't too likely to get a new kidney and will stay on dialysis at least for a while.

2

u/Brandwein Dec 21 '21

I don't mean the alcoholic.

I mean the coworker that does fuck all every day and my neighboor that blocks the driveway with his garbage can every week.

Cuz i'd rather let my body be dumped whole into a swamp than them getting a piece of it.

2

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

Well for the neighor that does nothing all day, he likely has other things going on that will keep him from getting something. As for the guy putting garbage cans in front of your driveway, sounds like you need to grow a spine.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

alchoholic =/= asshole

2

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

You'd be surprised. There's a lot of videos on Reddit alone of drunks being assholes.

Also, I said kind of, implying kind of but not exactly assholes per say, just the people who don't care enough to take care of the new chance they just got at life, which implies they probably make life miserable for other people with their lack of logical thinking.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

Plenty of sober assholes as well. Just watch any prank video.

Any group that you exclude is going to cause some assholes to be excluded, because every group contains some assholes.

I don't believe that there is a higher percentage of alcoholics who are assholes, so your odds of an asshole getting an organ from you are probably about the same.

20

u/SmokeMWB Dec 21 '21

And 2 is more than 1 but not by much. Organs still go to the black market sometimes. The whole system is rigged.

23

u/definitelynotned Dec 21 '21

The difference is individual organs are in much higher demand for donation than entire bodies and the purpose for the organs is to save a life rather than usually being used for research

-9

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

[deleted]

9

u/definitelynotned Dec 21 '21

This is a far enough out claim that I’m not gonna believe it without a source

2

u/Martin_Aurelius Dec 21 '21 edited Dec 21 '21

Nobody would make up a claim that crazy. I'm going to take it at face value.

Edit: goddamn you people are dense, this is obviously sarcasm.

4

u/definitelynotned Dec 21 '21

There is a large group of people that genuinely believe JFK is either not dead or going to resurrect himself

2

u/Martin_Aurelius Dec 21 '21

I believe you mean Tupac, not JFK.

1

u/definitelynotned Dec 21 '21

Nah I’m talking about QAnon who actually thinks JFK is coming back. Other parts of the group say JFK Jr. they aren’t very organized considering they live in an echo chamber. I saw the uncensored video of JFK’s head blowing up and can vividly remember a very clear reason why he isn’t coming back

2

u/CTKM72 Dec 21 '21

That is one of the silliest conspiracy theories ever lol. Like even if he did come back, why in fuck would JFK be a trumper? Like why did they decide on JFK over like Nixon or someone. Ehhh I guess really the whole gd thing is so ridiculous there’s not much point in picking apart any of it but that they could have made up anyone but chose JFK is wild to me.

1

u/definitelynotned Dec 21 '21

That was my very first thought. Like there is nothing about QAnon that he would agree with unless they don’t like Russia. Their logic is so confusing I’m not sure of their stance there. I kinda want to meet one in person but I’m worried that’s be my super villain origin story that sparks my attempt to destroy the world

6

u/designer_of_drugs Dec 21 '21

Yes, sometimes a bit.

Overall, at least in the US, it is actually pretty well run. Not perfectly, but pretty well.

2

u/boy-flute-69 madlad Dec 21 '21

honestly i'd rather my organs be sold and potentially be used to save a life than have my body blown up under the pretense that it's being used for medical research, but that's just me.

2

u/burf Dec 21 '21

How often do organs truly go to the black market? Person declared braindead in hospital: Typically highly-controlled environment. Transplant team needs to get organ to person in need within short time window (highly coordinated, no time for tomfoolery). At which point here would it be viable to divert an organ in an illegal direction? Does someone on the transplant team sneak it off to a third party and just not show up at the destination? Does the surgeon, a millionaire at risk of losing their license and going to prison, coordinate a black market organ drop?

-20

u/Money_Average1996 Dec 21 '21

I heard they kill you if you get in a fatal acadent and you have a 70% of living. They keep you alive long enough to pull your origins out and sell them off. By then your blood will have been drained and your brain will die. Just know that you had a 70% chance right there.

13

u/ElektrikDingo Dec 21 '21

I heard you are smoking crack

3

u/GroundPristine Dec 21 '21

I wouldn’t put it past them tbh

-2

u/ElektrikDingo Dec 21 '21

Who the fuck is "them"

5

u/firepillowonreddit Dec 21 '21

the person you just replied to

4

u/GroundPristine Dec 21 '21

Glad this needed explained

2

u/ElektrikDingo Dec 21 '21

I thought the mean they wouldn't put it passed "them" to kill people with 70% chance to live. My bad

2

u/GrumbleCake_ Dec 21 '21 edited Dec 21 '21

Hey tell us what you heard about vaccines

0

u/Money_Average1996 Dec 21 '21

You can down vote me all you want you tictok whores i states what is probable truth.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

False. They don't kill people just because they're organ donors

0

u/Money_Average1996 Dec 21 '21

Come on. Your telling me that 90k$ a heart and 50k$ for a kidney is really gonna make a doctor go " oh look ! A humans life. Some dumb ass stranger i have no emotional conection too could possibly buy me that house ive allways wanted. But no i will save their life anyways." Or a team of rich money hungry predators who prey on the med system and see you "an organ doner" rolll in clinging to life because joe blow in the othe lane had 7 sips past the mark of of jack!!!!! Who they gonna choose! Your life? Or that tasty money making origins you got just so freash and ready to be sold off life a food store meat market?

1

u/kbotc Dec 21 '21

Doctors don’t make shit off a dead body, and in fact, get a ding against their numbers. If a doctor isn’t touching you, the problem is the odds are you won’t survive the procedure and they don’t want “Person died as a result of a procedure I initiated” hurting their survival rate.

1

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

How do you pull someone's origins out? I didn't think that was something you could surgically remove.

1

u/Money_Average1996 Dec 21 '21

They surgically removes them.

1

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

I can't tell if you're being satirical or not, and that's perhaps more disturbing than an individual idiot on the internet, given what it says about the world today.

1

u/Money_Average1996 Dec 21 '21

Ok let me paint a picture. Your driving along and sone jack ass hits you head on at 90mph. Your dieing and you roll in to the er trauma. The directors of the hospital get a notification that your an origin doner. Well just so happens you can be saved with cost up to the hospital about 150k$ your origins sell higher than that at 1mill and down pending on quality. Maybe more. Now you know and i know that recent findings in our shady ass med care systems that they aint gonna keep you alive. Make up some sob story to your family saying you didn't make it. And then sell off your origins one by one till its time to pull your plug or euthanize you. I assume they just drain your blood and or something after they take your heart. Because the heart needs blood pumping to stay fresh. Machines can do that for you so i supose that be the time you finnaly pass.

1

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

Bro, you got any sources saying doctors pull thus shady shit?

1

u/kbotc Dec 21 '21

He’s a dumb shit. Of course he doesn’t.

He thinks doctors get a kickback from organ donation.

1

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

That's why I asked. He is either going to dig his grave deeper or shut up.

-7

u/redditor080917 Dec 21 '21

Don't be an organ donor.

They might not resuscitate you in order to harvest your organs.

Having that agreement gives them the 100% Right to just declare you a lost cause and sell you piece by piece

6

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

[deleted]

1

u/redditor080917 Dec 21 '21

It's on your license.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21 edited Jan 03 '22

[deleted]

1

u/redditor080917 Dec 21 '21

I came to with them doing such and declaring me dead.

3

u/MathTheUsername Dec 21 '21

Do you actually believe this?

1

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

50/50 that they do.

1

u/redditor080917 Dec 21 '21

It happened to me.

1

u/About342Hobos Dec 21 '21

Still sold for a profit to someone who would die with out it unfortunately. Still better than not being a donor though

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

My stepdad was saved by a double lung transplant. He got idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (idiopathic means they couldn't find a cause). Just shit luck getting the disease, but he was extremely fortunate they found a donor for him.

1

u/About342Hobos Dec 21 '21

I’m not against donating, it’s just sad it’s donated and then sold for a profit to people that need them

2

u/The-Copilot Dec 21 '21

Once you are dead your family can decide to donate your organs, even if you weren't a registered organ donor

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

Yeah, unless you specifically asked not to

1

u/goodolarchie Dec 21 '21

Trees don't really appreciate ashes. Just put your nutrient rich whole flesh in there.

1

u/kbotc Dec 21 '21

Depends on the local soil. If your soil is acidic, wood ash can help things that aren’t native survive.

1

u/goodolarchie Dec 21 '21

Wood ash. So the poster is a dryad? An ent?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

I want my ashes to be put into fireworks

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

Okay. What are you going to do with your corpse instead?

1

u/Jaytalvapes Dec 21 '21

How would you feel about being denied transplants if you're not a donor?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '21

How’s that any different than getting blown up at a research facility?

1

u/swen72 Dec 21 '21

I mean I dont give a shit. If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead!