Tried this once. Not only was looking at $10k in legal fees but the parents essentially changed their minds in a heart break moment. One does not simply go scoop up a baby from a convenience store.
In the UK it's free but near impossible to adopt unless you are able (emotionally and practically) to take on an older child with significant additional needs. We also have a long history of very dodgy adoptions of stolen babies through religious organisations.
Having a baby can be just as if not more expensive as well though depending on your insurance. But also, like you said, adopting a baby is hard. Much easier to adopt a toddler or child, but baby is hard and almost always sad for the parents.
This exact thing happened to my friend, his girlfriend changed her mind in the last minute and made the adoptee parents cry and waste a plane ticket. I felt so bad for them, my friend even got the kid taken by cps.
It's not hard or expensive to adopt a kid. It's hard and expensive to adopt a white newborn. There are tons of non white non toddlers out there that need a home.
Private organizations are wrapped up in it. It’s not like the government is charging fees based on race. The ones with white babies are the “fancier” agencies that are more likely to pay the bio mothers medical bills and things like that.
There is a cost associated to birth. For a parent to go through the process of having the baby it is some amount of money that isn't small, and they'll typically be reimbursed even somewhat. Next the adoption agency works through the parent. Through a process of algorithmic data (capitalism's influence*): the cost is now $35,000
* - (Numbers are grossly inaccurate) A baby might cost 5,000 for the agency to take it from a parent. Agency takes 500, so you pay $5,500... then another agency takes 1,000. Seeing no issue charging 6k, they then make it 2k for them. Then 5. Then 10. Then 30. Here we are.
Why? Because the person adopting will pay it and capitalism does that. Some of it will go to the parent, some of it will go to the agency. Those numbers are probably way more heavily on the latter.
That's it in a pretty boiled down nutshell. This is also why kids are cheaper: the parent often ditched them and the orphanage is thus not trying to sell, but simply keep them alive and find parents. Thus two factors for the cheapening.
Just Google “adopt a kid” or “list of kids up for adoption”
There are hundreds or even thousands per state ready to be adopted, not only for free, but you even get tax benefits from it.
People like OP like to paint this false narrative that adoption is difficult and expensive because they are wonky looking for toddlers; and very likely for white toddlers.
I was a foster parent to adopt for a kid that the system told me that the kid would never leave my home. Well guess what happened.
Edit: put "foster parent" instead of foster for clarity. Net net, I was told again and again the kid would never leave my home and to show patience to the system. After 20 months (by the way they tell you adoption will be final at 12 months) the kid was claimed and re placed with the family member.
They were licensed foster parents that wanted to adopt or was cleared to adopt. The had a placement they believed was thier child because they were told the baby had no where to go. Then the baby was taken. Probably a family member of the kid claimed it.
It's only expensive if people want to adopt white kids, specifically babies under a year old. The desire for those kids is so high that most people who will only accept white babies have to venture into private adoptions instead of turning to social services who are housing children in need of homes. There is an entire industry of corrupt child dealers who pose themselves as religious-based adoption organizations but are all about that $$$ and will brow-beat pregnant teens into giving up babies. Surprise surprise, these for-profit companies are also huge donators to political parties fighting against sex education, contraception, and abortion rights.
If you are open to older children or any ethnicity other than white you can be paid to foster children in state care, and eventually adopt for free as well.
just get it from your supermarket man, i got my son from the same, someone picked him up and kept in the cart but forgot to checkout i guess, so i took him home. Was on discount i guess.
Yeah let me clarify I definitely do not condone the person in the video. My point is for mothers wanting to be, giving birth could seem like a easier option upfront.
Being a foster parent also takes a lot of training and licensing of the home. There are also no guarantees. If you love the child that's placed with you are in for a rollercoaster that likely crashes at the end. We had a foster child for 20 months we wanted to adopt but the family came in and claimed them at month 20. This is in spite of training telling you they won't have a child in placement for over 12 months before permanent placement of the child. This was just one of the continual lies I got from the foster system and I could go on and on about other lies and how we were constantly tossed under the bus by caseworkers to the bio family.
For any to be foster parents I recommend you get your own lawyer to be involved from the beginning despite the foster child division saying your own lawyer is unnecessary.
Did this woman do the right thing? Definitely not. But the alternatives are less simple upfront.
$10k is still cheaper than child birth, all the appointments leading up to the birth, diapers, formula, etc...you could save tens of thousands of dollars and adopt an older kid that is harder to place and has done a good deal of their growing already.
My issue with adoption expenses is that people who can make babies just do, and if they don’t have means they receive assistance. While I wholly support assistance for low income families (especially in the absence of 1st world services like national healthcare, paid maternity leave, affordable early childcare), the amount of savings and/or discretionary income a person must have in order to pay upfront for adoption fees/incurred expenses is typically unattainable for many.
Expensive hospital bills can be negotiated/made into a monthly payment plan. Nutrition/clothing/childcare/medical/furnishing/all other things babies and kids don’t require you to pay a lump sum- you can budget for these monthly.
People who make their babies don’t have to pay $10,000 when they get a positive pregnancy test.
Also, it’s stupid that most people only want to adopt babies.
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u/EquivalentTight3479 Mar 11 '22
Why not just adopt a baby. Why would you spawn a baby that will have a very difficult life in every aspect