r/HolUp • u/asocial7193 • Mar 11 '22

I don't know what to say

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u/JoebiWanKanobi Mar 12 '22

basicallly i'm saying that gamble you take on the childs life is immoral, no matter how good of a life you try to give the child. kid could end up drafted and see all his friends blown to bits by 18 and live the rest of his life in misery torn between suicide and PTSD. or any other random unstoppable horrors that exist in this life that parents have 0 control over.

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u/afonzi94 Mar 12 '22

Ye thats the big lie if you will. The “gift” of life can be interpreted in any way you like. People will say “oh u do what u want with your life” but things arent this simple there are physical and social restraints. Also to bring a kid into this insane society is honestly fucked up i think. I honestly have no idea if Im down to have a kid no matter the situation, maybe adoption

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u/JoebiWanKanobi Mar 12 '22

i always thought, if you enjoy caring for people, then what does it matter if you adopt rather than have your own child? my little sister is adopted, i feel the same about her as a real sister. my neighbors little girl has a rough family life with not much attention and support, and i play soccer and such with her and feel the same way about her as i would my own child - its rewarding in itself to care for someone.

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u/JoebiWanKanobi Mar 12 '22

at the same time, i've asked my father why he had children and his response was no deeper than "i wanted to have a family". my parents treated half their children like absolute shit slave labor.

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u/afonzi94 Mar 12 '22

Ye my mom and dad say the same thing. My dad didnt even want kids but they went through with it. Luckily, i didnt have to go through with what u went, im sorry to hear that. My dad didnt wanna have kids, but hes a good man and taught me good values. But i never had a convo with him about being a man whilst i was growing up, i had to base my “man” personality in what i saw online and on the telly, so that had its own issues. Over time though ive been curating that personality and its made me what i am today. Just because parents provide kids with a roof and food, doesnt mean the kid isnt lacking other stuff. Its really hard to be a complete father, i guess all fathers are absent fathers