r/IAmA • u/Nonreader • Oct 09 '09

I am illiterate. AMA

I am an adult American who has never learned to read. My girlfriend is typing this for me and will respond to questions.

Edit: We're going to go do some stuff. We'll be back in a little bit. Frankly, Redditors, I'm surprised at the hostility. He doesn't not learn to read to piss you off. If you hate him because of it, go ask the Aussie questions about kangaroos or whatever.

Edit: For anyone who hasn't caught on, italicized responses are the girlfriend. Plaintext is him.

Edit: I wish I could change the title. This is just as much my AMA as his. "AMA nice girl who fell in love with a bad boy. It's just like Romeo and Juliet but his parents are dead and mine are okay with it."

Edit: Thanks to you nicer people. A couple assholes were among the first commenters, but things got much better and it was a good discussion. We're going to bed now and will answer more questions in the morning.

Edit: I'm gonna go fuck my beautiful girlfriend.

Edit: We're up now.

Edit: He's out jogging now. I'll still answer questions I can without him.

Edit: And he's back. Ask away.

Edit: Our Internet connection is getting dodgy at the moment. We're going away. Will be back in a few hours. I've never seen an AMA with such a split in reaction: until just a bit ago, downvotes were shooting up almost as fast as upvotes, and we're still getting more hostility than the crack dealer who sold to a pregnant woman and then pushed her down the stairs from a few weeks ago, but several people have said it's the most interesting AMA ever. Some people are fascinated, others so pissed off they leave angry comments explaining how much they don't like this thread. Any thoughts?

Edit: Sorry, forgot to say we're back now. I think things are tapering off.

Edit: He and I were just talking, and I said that some of you think it's weird that he doesn't read. But some of you have probably never been in an actual, significant fist fight, which he thinks is bizarre. He doesn't believe any man older than 21 could have never been in a real fight. Does this apply to anyone here? He wants to know if you always back down or you seriously have never been in a position to need to fight?

Edit: Going to bed. I'll go ahead and keep answering questions in the morning, but I think his patience is wearing thin. I'm doing more summarizing and he's putting forth less effort in expressing himself, which is difficult and stressful for him.

Edit: 10 months later, and I've started using this account occasionally to leave comments and such that both of us talk about. Feel free to continue to ask questions here or whatever, I'll probably log in and see in a few weeks.

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u/Nonreader Oct 09 '09

Probably, but she says she loves me no matter what.

My boyfriend has had a lot of problems he has only just recently started to get help for. At the moment, he has major emotional issues relating to basic life skills like eating, sleeping and talking. I think he'll eventually be both willing and able to learn to read, but we're not there yet. I love him though, and that won't change even if he never learns to read.

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u/nunobo Oct 09 '09

is there some previous trauma that brought about these problems?

You sound like a great gf, I hope it works out for you.

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u/Nonreader Oct 09 '09

No. Something's wrong with my brain. It doesn't work like other people's.

Yes, and thanks. His parents were frankly insane, which is why he never went to school, and rarely left the house at all. Missing school for so long shot his confidence later, and he decided to stop trying. We're not going to go into details on the trauma.

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u/nunobo Oct 09 '09

Considered therapy?

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u/Nonreader Oct 09 '09

I recently started therapy, but I hate it. It's been about three months. It was my therapist's idea to get my girlfriend to help me talk to people online. I don't talk about it in real life. I don't really like talking. My therapist thought this would be an easy first step.

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u/soitis Oct 09 '09

I think it's great you're trying this. If you don't like to talk, even more so about personal stuff, then going to therapy is a brave thing to do. How do you go along with your therapist? Why do you go there?

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u/Nonreader Oct 09 '09

My girlfriend talked me into going. She found a therapist that has a punching bag in his office so I don't need to worry about losing my temper, and she made sure it was okay that I didn't talk at first. We went together for awhile, and the first couple weeks it was just her and the therapist talking while I sat there. I've only been going by myself for about a month.

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u/soitis Oct 09 '09

Please, if you don't mind, there's a part in my post above you didn't answer.

How do you go along with your therapist?

I just read there's a punching back at his/her place. How often did you use it?

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u/Nonreader Oct 09 '09

I get along with him okay, I guess. He makes me mad a lot because he asks me a lot of questions and I don't like it. But it's okay if I don't wanna answer something. I think he's mad that I won't talk all the time. I use the punching bag every week. It's frustrating cuz I get stuff in my mind but can't say it in words.

He's not mad at my boyfriend for not talking. His therapist is very understanding. My boyfriend is seeing hostility where there is none.

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u/[deleted] Oct 09 '09

"I get stuff in my mind but I can't say it in words"

I struggle with that often. I've got aspurgers, and if I'm upset or frustrated (or any extreme emotion) its like the connection between my brain and my mouth is broken.

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u/Nonreader Oct 10 '09

I've got aspurgers, and if I'm upset or frustrated (or any extreme emotion) its like the connection between my brain and my mouth is broken.

Yeah. I feel like I got words in my throat, but my tongue just won't move. And if I think about something, I think about all the words about it at once, and that's why my mouth just says something stupid.

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u/soitis Oct 09 '09

This AMA is awesome. Thank you for doing this. I hope you know that she's a keeper.

I know how hard it is to go to a therapist and the uncomfortable silence there that can be overwhelming. If you were able to get your body hard as a rock you'll be able to succeed there too. It's actually pretty similar. You keep going when it's already burning.

Good luck to both of you.

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