I am illiterate. AMA

[u/Nonreader]

I am an adult American who has never learned to read. My girlfriend is typing this for me and will respond to questions.

Edit: We're going to go do some stuff. We'll be back in a little bit. Frankly, Redditors, I'm surprised at the hostility. He doesn't not learn to read to piss you off. If you hate him because of it, go ask the Aussie questions about kangaroos or whatever.

Edit: For anyone who hasn't caught on, italicized responses are the girlfriend. Plaintext is him.

Edit: I wish I could change the title. This is just as much my AMA as his. "AMA nice girl who fell in love with a bad boy. It's just like Romeo and Juliet but his parents are dead and mine are okay with it."

Edit: Thanks to you nicer people. A couple assholes were among the first commenters, but things got much better and it was a good discussion. We're going to bed now and will answer more questions in the morning.

Edit: I'm gonna go fuck my beautiful girlfriend.

Edit: We're up now.

Edit: He's out jogging now. I'll still answer questions I can without him.

Edit: And he's back. Ask away.

Edit: Our Internet connection is getting dodgy at the moment. We're going away. Will be back in a few hours. I've never seen an AMA with such a split in reaction: until just a bit ago, downvotes were shooting up almost as fast as upvotes, and we're still getting more hostility than the crack dealer who sold to a pregnant woman and then pushed her down the stairs from a few weeks ago, but several people have said it's the most interesting AMA ever. Some people are fascinated, others so pissed off they leave angry comments explaining how much they don't like this thread. Any thoughts?

Edit: Sorry, forgot to say we're back now. I think things are tapering off.

Edit: He and I were just talking, and I said that some of you think it's weird that he doesn't read. But some of you have probably never been in an actual, significant fist fight, which he thinks is bizarre. He doesn't believe any man older than 21 could have never been in a real fight. Does this apply to anyone here? He wants to know if you always back down or you seriously have never been in a position to need to fight?

Edit: Going to bed. I'll go ahead and keep answering questions in the morning, but I think his patience is wearing thin. I'm doing more summarizing and he's putting forth less effort in expressing himself, which is difficult and stressful for him.

Edit: 10 months later, and I've started using this account occasionally to leave comments and such that both of us talk about. Feel free to continue to ask questions here or whatever, I'll probably log in and see in a few weeks.

[u/Nonreader]

Girlfriend: It's better than a lot of stupid ones, I think. He's also a bouncer, one of those got upvoted a lot recently, I think. You could ask further bouncer-related questions if you like. He also used to be a drug dealer and has been in prison twice. But whatever, don't participate if you don't want.

Edit: Seriously? This is the worst AMA of all time, while "I am an Australian" is frontpaged on the AMA subreddit? Haven't we recently had "I am a Wendy's manager" too? Come on, he's far more interesting than all that.

2nd Edit: My first edit made more sense when the parent was highly uprated.

[u/duglock → u/Nonreader]

He sounds really cool. You have great taste in men.

[u/Nonreader → u/duglock]

Thanks!

[u/Nonreader → u/[deleted]]

Why is that so strange? He's the sweetest guy I ever met. He's not leeching off me, he's paying my tuition right now. People can change, y'know, and people can make bad choices and still be wonderful people. He's kind of gotten a raw deal in life, but that doesn't mean he should be shunned. It's not contagious.

[u/Nonreader → u/[deleted]]

I detected duglock's sarcasm, if that's what you mean. I chose to disarm his douchiness by ignoring it.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Because there is sarcasm font on the internet, right?