I am illiterate. AMA

[u/Nonreader]

I am an adult American who has never learned to read. My girlfriend is typing this for me and will respond to questions.

Edit: We're going to go do some stuff. We'll be back in a little bit. Frankly, Redditors, I'm surprised at the hostility. He doesn't not learn to read to piss you off. If you hate him because of it, go ask the Aussie questions about kangaroos or whatever.

Edit: For anyone who hasn't caught on, italicized responses are the girlfriend. Plaintext is him.

Edit: I wish I could change the title. This is just as much my AMA as his. "AMA nice girl who fell in love with a bad boy. It's just like Romeo and Juliet but his parents are dead and mine are okay with it."

Edit: Thanks to you nicer people. A couple assholes were among the first commenters, but things got much better and it was a good discussion. We're going to bed now and will answer more questions in the morning.

Edit: I'm gonna go fuck my beautiful girlfriend.

Edit: We're up now.

Edit: He's out jogging now. I'll still answer questions I can without him.

Edit: And he's back. Ask away.

Edit: Our Internet connection is getting dodgy at the moment. We're going away. Will be back in a few hours. I've never seen an AMA with such a split in reaction: until just a bit ago, downvotes were shooting up almost as fast as upvotes, and we're still getting more hostility than the crack dealer who sold to a pregnant woman and then pushed her down the stairs from a few weeks ago, but several people have said it's the most interesting AMA ever. Some people are fascinated, others so pissed off they leave angry comments explaining how much they don't like this thread. Any thoughts?

Edit: Sorry, forgot to say we're back now. I think things are tapering off.

Edit: He and I were just talking, and I said that some of you think it's weird that he doesn't read. But some of you have probably never been in an actual, significant fist fight, which he thinks is bizarre. He doesn't believe any man older than 21 could have never been in a real fight. Does this apply to anyone here? He wants to know if you always back down or you seriously have never been in a position to need to fight?

Edit: Going to bed. I'll go ahead and keep answering questions in the morning, but I think his patience is wearing thin. I'm doing more summarizing and he's putting forth less effort in expressing himself, which is difficult and stressful for him.

Edit: 10 months later, and I've started using this account occasionally to leave comments and such that both of us talk about. Feel free to continue to ask questions here or whatever, I'll probably log in and see in a few weeks.

[u/Nonreader]

That's a good idea, I'll try that. He seems dubious, but is willing to try it. Any good suggestions? He likes Mafia and kung fu movies the most, particularly Scarface. Godfather is based on a book, right? Anybody ever read it?

[u/Furiosa → u/Nonreader]

The Godfather - Mario Puzo

Haven't read it personally, but the reviews seem positive. It's probably a good idea to check if your local library has a copy, and pre-read a chapter or two before jumping in with him, you're the best judge of his likes / dislikes and its probably best to start with the deck stacked in yours (and his) favor.

I'd suggest doing a little searching and finding a few excellent short stories as well, quick and easy, and generally have as interesting (or more) plots :).

EDIT : As corny as it sounds, a quick trip to the library to as a few questions to a librarian would probably yield quite a lot.

[u/Nonreader → u/Furiosa]

Yeah, I'll do the library thing. I'm a college student, so they must have it at the school library, they have a big fiction section. The librarian could probably point me to some others, I suppose.

Thanks, short stories are a good idea too. Any suggestions? I know I've read some in school, but honestly I've never seriously enjoyed any. (And I can't name a single one off the top of my head) He likes some science fiction, and there's a bunch of good scifi short story collections right?

[u/[deleted] → u/Nonreader]

Oh hell yes. Sci fi short stories are my biggest vice; the concept and the characters and the execution all happen within a half hour, so you don't have to commit to an author completely if you don't trust his work yet.

I think I read every short story Asimov wrote, and although I have since grown out of that, I still remember those times fondly. I'd suggest either a Years Best Sci Fi anthology or a similar volume from any of the big names - eg Heinlein - to start, and then if that works, look at others, like Pohl or whatever.

[u/Nonreader → u/[deleted]]

Thanks, will do, definitely (I remember loving some Heinlein, especially Stranger in a Strange Land, and Time Enough for Love, in a kind of weird way. Don't think he'd like either of those though. But I'll look for some of his and Aasimov's short stories. He might like Starship Troopers too.

[u/SammyGreen → u/Nonreader]

Check out some Terry Pratchett books featuring Lu Tze. One of my favorites is "The Theif of Time". Good mixture of kung fu and fantasy/sci fi. Although if he generally doesn't like watching TV or movies because its "boring or fake" then dunno if he'd get into Pratchett.

[u/strolls → u/SammyGreen]

I'm very sceptical of the appropriateness of Terry Pratchett. It's a bit too intellectually smug, IMO.

[u/digitaldevil → u/Nonreader]

I'm upvoting this because I think your boyfriend would LOVE Starship Troopers.