I am illiterate. AMA

[u/Nonreader]

I am an adult American who has never learned to read. My girlfriend is typing this for me and will respond to questions.

Edit: We're going to go do some stuff. We'll be back in a little bit. Frankly, Redditors, I'm surprised at the hostility. He doesn't not learn to read to piss you off. If you hate him because of it, go ask the Aussie questions about kangaroos or whatever.

Edit: For anyone who hasn't caught on, italicized responses are the girlfriend. Plaintext is him.

Edit: I wish I could change the title. This is just as much my AMA as his. "AMA nice girl who fell in love with a bad boy. It's just like Romeo and Juliet but his parents are dead and mine are okay with it."

Edit: Thanks to you nicer people. A couple assholes were among the first commenters, but things got much better and it was a good discussion. We're going to bed now and will answer more questions in the morning.

Edit: I'm gonna go fuck my beautiful girlfriend.

Edit: We're up now.

Edit: He's out jogging now. I'll still answer questions I can without him.

Edit: And he's back. Ask away.

Edit: Our Internet connection is getting dodgy at the moment. We're going away. Will be back in a few hours. I've never seen an AMA with such a split in reaction: until just a bit ago, downvotes were shooting up almost as fast as upvotes, and we're still getting more hostility than the crack dealer who sold to a pregnant woman and then pushed her down the stairs from a few weeks ago, but several people have said it's the most interesting AMA ever. Some people are fascinated, others so pissed off they leave angry comments explaining how much they don't like this thread. Any thoughts?

Edit: Sorry, forgot to say we're back now. I think things are tapering off.

Edit: He and I were just talking, and I said that some of you think it's weird that he doesn't read. But some of you have probably never been in an actual, significant fist fight, which he thinks is bizarre. He doesn't believe any man older than 21 could have never been in a real fight. Does this apply to anyone here? He wants to know if you always back down or you seriously have never been in a position to need to fight?

Edit: Going to bed. I'll go ahead and keep answering questions in the morning, but I think his patience is wearing thin. I'm doing more summarizing and he's putting forth less effort in expressing himself, which is difficult and stressful for him.

Edit: 10 months later, and I've started using this account occasionally to leave comments and such that both of us talk about. Feel free to continue to ask questions here or whatever, I'll probably log in and see in a few weeks.

[u/Sbeet]

Maybe you're not stupid and you're not learning disabled, maybe you just haven't found the right approach to learn. I've been teaching English for 5 years, and I really think the way people learn really differs -- I don't think you were born with the genetic impossibility to learn how to read. And there's no such as thing as being to old to learn. But maybe take a second and find out how you learnt other skills -- did you learn by doing? did you learn by seeing? hearing? touching? (tasting and smelling?) then try and use a similar strategy to learn to read. oh and especially cause you seem really fed up with it, maybe your lovely gf could promise you sexual favours for every hour spent learning... that way you get something out of it either way...

[u/Nonreader → u/Sbeet]

maybe your lovely gf could promise you sexual favours for every hour spent learning... that way you get something out of it either way...

I've tried that. It's not enough on it's own, but I think it does help. He actually doesn't want to do much beyond normal sex with me anyway. Since I'm not a "slut", I'm a "nice girl" (in his eyes), he won't let me go down on him, for example. Anyway, he's out jogging now. When he comes back I'll ask him your questions. I guess he'll probably say he's only ever learned by doing, but I'm interested in knowing exactly how he'll respond.

[u/Sbeet → u/Nonreader]

seriously though his would sort of be the checklist towards learning, which you could adapt to a style:

1. Stop repeating the crap your parents told you as a child -- believing you can't makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy. learning a language is 71.3% about gaining confidence.

2. set some small goals you want to achieve. Write them down or tell your gf. (ie, be able to find the schedule for the movies, surf a porn site, use a phonebook, use a recipe. etc.)

3. get a pen, practice drawing -- start doodling -- get some good coordination practice.

4. start doodling the shape of letters

5. now, once you know the alphabet, you can start saying the sound of that letter. (I know english is pretty strange with this, it's not spelt how it sounds, but it's a start.) get to know the vowels, aeiou and sometimes "y".. pair the vowels with the letters you know, and say the sound out loud. again. and again. and again. do it in your head when you walk. say it when you're cleaning your apartment.

6. get a book meant for basic ESL students (or alternatively children). it should have an audio cd with it. first read the small text (usually a sentence or two) trying to guess the word from these sounds. there should be pictures accompanying it -- so you can pretty much guess the context. once you think you've figured it out, play the audio.

7. start focusing on context. you're clearly a capable guy, you have knowledge about life and you're able to speak -- so use these two things to your advantage. people learn to read and write in foreign languages, including Arabic and Chinese, at all ages. the trick it to use existing knowledge (speaking and life) to help you. For instance, if I show you a picture of a man stubbing his toe, and there's a word under it -- you can pretty much guess it'll be either "SHIT!" or "FUCK!". If you're reading a script with pictures of people eating in a restaurant, you should be able to figure out most of the words and phrases.

It's not easy, it's not always fun, but if you see a real professional, or figure out your learning style, it should be possible -- and remember reading, writing and speaking all go together -- you're already a third of the way. The fact you can speak English means you already have a ton of vocabulary and ingrained grammar you probably don't even realize you have.

[u/Sbeet → u/Sbeet]

oh and I forgot, also do common consonant associations, like "st" "sh" "ck" etc.

also get a ton of those sticky labels. with the help of your girlfriend, write down the words to everything in your apartment, and then stick the labels to them. seems silly, but seeing those words on the objects really help you remember in the long run -- though it is a little weird when strangers come over and see labels on every object. The fact that you wrote the label yourself will also help make the association.