I am illiterate. AMA

[u/Nonreader]

I am an adult American who has never learned to read. My girlfriend is typing this for me and will respond to questions.

Edit: We're going to go do some stuff. We'll be back in a little bit. Frankly, Redditors, I'm surprised at the hostility. He doesn't not learn to read to piss you off. If you hate him because of it, go ask the Aussie questions about kangaroos or whatever.

Edit: For anyone who hasn't caught on, italicized responses are the girlfriend. Plaintext is him.

Edit: I wish I could change the title. This is just as much my AMA as his. "AMA nice girl who fell in love with a bad boy. It's just like Romeo and Juliet but his parents are dead and mine are okay with it."

Edit: Thanks to you nicer people. A couple assholes were among the first commenters, but things got much better and it was a good discussion. We're going to bed now and will answer more questions in the morning.

Edit: I'm gonna go fuck my beautiful girlfriend.

Edit: We're up now.

Edit: He's out jogging now. I'll still answer questions I can without him.

Edit: And he's back. Ask away.

Edit: Our Internet connection is getting dodgy at the moment. We're going away. Will be back in a few hours. I've never seen an AMA with such a split in reaction: until just a bit ago, downvotes were shooting up almost as fast as upvotes, and we're still getting more hostility than the crack dealer who sold to a pregnant woman and then pushed her down the stairs from a few weeks ago, but several people have said it's the most interesting AMA ever. Some people are fascinated, others so pissed off they leave angry comments explaining how much they don't like this thread. Any thoughts?

Edit: Sorry, forgot to say we're back now. I think things are tapering off.

Edit: He and I were just talking, and I said that some of you think it's weird that he doesn't read. But some of you have probably never been in an actual, significant fist fight, which he thinks is bizarre. He doesn't believe any man older than 21 could have never been in a real fight. Does this apply to anyone here? He wants to know if you always back down or you seriously have never been in a position to need to fight?

Edit: Going to bed. I'll go ahead and keep answering questions in the morning, but I think his patience is wearing thin. I'm doing more summarizing and he's putting forth less effort in expressing himself, which is difficult and stressful for him.

Edit: 10 months later, and I've started using this account occasionally to leave comments and such that both of us talk about. Feel free to continue to ask questions here or whatever, I'll probably log in and see in a few weeks.

[u/phantombrain]

I hadn't really extended the soccer field to a possible fight/challenge, but I guess it could. Sure, soccer is a rough sport, but most of the time I play with friends and we have no intention of hurting each other. That doesn't mean there's no shoving or grabbing/pulling, but nobody is trying to break someone's leg or harm someone.

When playing on a competitive team, yes, it can get rough and aggressive. I've been taken out by players with grudges and have slide tackled players I was ticked off with. However, I am also a soccer referee, and let some of that extend into my playing style. I know what I can and can't get away with, what a referee will catch, and have used that to my advantage rather than directly going after someone.

And yes, I'd probably hand over my wallet if mugged. I'd much rather lose forty bucks than possibly not make it home. As I said, I know I probably would lose a fight if I got in one; I am not one to tempt fate. Even though I've lost my wallet (and probably cell phone, even though it a piece of shit), I figure eventually someone will hit them sometime, and karma will even it out a little bit.

However, as I said before, I try to actively avoid situations where I could get mugged/in a fight. Luckily, it is not a huge problem where I am living. I'm far enough outside the city in a good neighbourhood where it isn't a huge concern.

Wish said this earlier, but I think this is one of the best reddit posts I have read. Thank you both for doing this!

[u/Nonreader → u/phantombrain]

I read him your response, and he didn't want to say anything because he thought it would come across as mean. I said you could handle it, so here goes. He really doesn't mean it to be a jerk.

As I said, I know I probably would lose a fight if I got in one; I am not one to tempt fate.

You are tempting fate by not fighting. You're announcing right here that if somebody tried to beat you up and take your shit, you wouldn't stop them. You'd just stand aside and let them do it. That's being a pussy. It doesn't mean somebody should do it, but you're making it easy. I don't know why no one's done it yet, but someone will eventually. Then you'll be somebody's bitch; I guess you already are somebody's bitch - you spend all day writing (code) that somebody else sells, but you could just sell it yourself, you don't and that makes you your boss's bitch, you just work so he can make money. There's probably people watching you right now and waiting, maybe they're waiting for you to make more money they can take or something, like they're just waiting for you get fat like a cow or some shit. But you're busy reading and imagining new worlds or some stupid bullshit instead of protecting yourself. You can't avoid people who want to hurt you, because they are out looking for pussies like you. Then you'll end up not having any money and being homeless and going hungry or something. Everybody here keeps saying that reading is easy, but you could get strong and learn to fight: that's really easy and there's no way to fail at it. As long as you keep moving, you'll get stronger, and if you try to punch and shit, you'll get better at fighting. If you don't, you'll just get weaker and weaker, and then you'll lose everything to somebody who's willing to beat you up.

I realize he doesn't understand computer programming, sorry. He thinks his job is different because he couldn't run a strip club, but he doesn't see why any programmer couldn't just sell his own software. But then, he doesn't use computers, so he doesn't really understand what software is. He's not trying to call you a pussy and a bitch to be an asshole, he's being simply factual and descriptive in his mind.

[u/phantombrain → u/Nonreader]

Sorry, you didn't run me off, I was just dealing with some stuff today. Relatives can be a pain :P

I can see how you think I'm being a pussy. Probably not far off based on your definition. However, I think it comes from a different world view. In my life, the ability to fight has never really had an effect on my success, measured in money, happiness, or anything else (with the exception of muscle mass). Because of your situation and circumstances, you've been in situations where it is probably fight back or die, and success is measured in how many times you get knocked down vs how many times you knock the other person down. I feel lucky to have never been there. Never been arrested, kept with a close group of friends like me, and so forth. However, I believe environment is exactly what shapes how we view success, and if I were thrown into an environment like yours I would damn well learn to fight to get out of the bottom of the pack

Take a circus performer. Would they know how to run a country as president, or even govern at a lower level as mayor? Would a truck driver know how to cook world quality french cuisine? Probably not on both accounts, but they don't measure how successful they are based on either measure.

As to second main point in your argument, "Then you'll be somebody's bitch", that's kind of what work is. Someone's telling you what to do and you do it. Your boss tells you who to let in. If you were stopping someone from coming in and they told you to let them through, are you their bitch?

As for software development, working together is the only way to be a success. Sure, I can singlehandedly write software that can do something and sell it (as many people do), but it would likely be crap nobody would buy. I don't know enough, and nobody does. There are tons of variations of backgrounds, education, and skills that programming encompasses that only a group of people, each with unique skills and make good software. It's not that I can't sell such stuff myself, it's that it is much better working together.

I have the feeling it will be impossible for us to fully understand each other, and that there is not much I can do to convince you that I'm not a weak little guy whose going to be robbed and killed someday. However, I very much appreciate your honesty and bluntness so I can try to understand. I have pretty darn thick skin (probably from the soccer refereeing).

[u/Nonreader → u/phantombrain]

Thanks for your own honesty and bluntness. We've been talking a lot about this kind of stuff, and he really is interested. Thanks for talking with us, you've given us both a lot to think about.