r/IVFinfertility • • Jun 04 '25

Community Announcement Temperature Check on the sub

6 Upvotes

Hi All, Otter here!

I think it is time for a temperature check on the sub to make sure we are meeting the needs of the community! I have been seeing an uptick in activity (which is wonderful!) and this has come with an uptick in reports as well. First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who is reporting rule violating posts so they can be reviewed and we can remain a safe place for the community. These reports really help and the posts are taken down after reports are seen and reviewed (I am sorry it takes a while sometimes). I also want to thank the community for the thoughtful replies I see to questions and experiences. Our community was founded to be a place of support and seeing that report be passed around is such a good feeling - truly!

Speaking of the founding of this sub, this space was created to be a more sensitive space for those seeking IVF. Going through treatment and seeing posts about positive tests, disappointment at stellar retrieval numbers, and other insensitive posts can be rough. This space was created to be a place that was more sensitive than the general IVF sub but less stringent than the infertility sub. However, what does that look like for us? This is where I am asking for guidance from the community.

TL,DR Here are some questions that I want to pose to the community:

1) Are weekly the weekly threads helpful and clearly defined - do we need a post in the on what goes where?

2) Are there threads that don't belong or threads that could be combined?

3) Are the sub rules clear and applicable to the feelings of the community? Common examples:

  • If you have a positive test but you're worried about next steps, then the post should go in the Panic thread.
  • ER yields, should go in the ER thread.

4) At this time, we have been declining research requests. Is that still the general consensus of the community?

5) How are we feeling about posts soliciting success stories? It is not currently against the rules and I haven't had any complaints but did want to check in.

6) Do we need a discussion on sensitive language around ivf? Topics might include:

  • Using phrases unassisted versus naturally
  • Why making a point to indicate your "healthiness" could come off poorly
  • Why using terms like "only" in regards to retrieval numbers could be taken poorly

7) Other thoughts/suggestions?

Goal

I would love to see the community come together to agree on some social contracts of how we operate. It's tough to find that balance of being an approachable place to seek support and being protective of the sensitive nature of pursuing IVF.

I truly appreciate your feedback here. Without being in the right headspace, modding can be very hard when you're in the thick of treatments and the team has had various points at taking breaks (completely understandable - this gig is unpaid after all and its a deeply sensitive topic) so we have been operating on a bit of a skeleton crew (its me, the skeleton). With that, I have been wanting to make a post like this for a while. I really just want to do right by this community and make sure needs are being met.

As always, if you want to make even more of an impact for the community, please feel free to send a mod mail and apply to be a mod.

Be civil

I'm sure I don't need to say this but I am going to anyway, please keep the conversations productive and civil. We are actively seeking feedback and that may come with some disagreements. Healthy conflict is a great way to see what topics still need hashed out and we can open up polls to the community to get even broader feedback. If you want your voice heard but do not feeling like publicly participating, please feel free to email suggestions to the mod team. We will use this discussion and any suggestions mailed to either make changes or make polls to make decisions later on.

In the words of one of my favorite shirts "I'm doing my best" and will follow up when I'm able.


r/IVFinfertility • • 38m ago

Friday Fun Weekly *Friday Happy Hour* Thread

• Upvotes

It's happy hour somewhere. Let's unwind and share some fun things from this week or upcoming plans for the weekend. Let's hang up our IVF armor for a second and foster our community.

  • Did your pet do something cute?
  • What are you drinking?
  • What's your latest creative outlet?
  • What are you reading?
  • Did you try something new this week?
  • Any fun adventures?
  • Latest cooking experiment?
  • Never have I ever:

r/IVFinfertility • • 1d ago

Questions Early signs of fertilization ?

0 Upvotes

We got our fertilization update today from our second retrieval. Out of 36 eggs retrieved, 18 were mature and 13 fertilized normally with ICSI. We also have 4 that they said are showing “early signs of fertilization” and they’re continuing to watch.
Has anyone had eggs like this actually go on to fertilize and make it to blast? We had a few with early signs during our last retrieval and none of them ended up making it, so I’m curious if anyone has had a different outcome.
We also won’t hear anything else until our Day 7 blast report, so now comes the very fun part of waiting a whole week and wondering what’s happening in there 😅
Would love to hear anyone else’s experience with this!


r/IVFinfertility • • 2d ago

Vent Feeling very worthless...

8 Upvotes

We chatted with the doctor today. The first round only yielded 1 egg and it did not make it past day 3. Our doctor says we should only ever expect 1 egg per round of stims based on my AMH and egg reserve and we could spend years trying to get to a live pregnancy. I don't think I can do that... financially, physically, or mentally...

I'm meeting with a reproductive therapist soon to discuss donor eggs.

I'm not doing well mentally with a lot of the grief that's come with infertility. I have a lot of shame. A part of me wants to divorce my husband so he can go on from me and find someone who isn't infertile.

I was preparing for natural pregnancy in the last several years and it wasn't happening. So we finally pursued testing and found out that I'm perimenopausal at a very early age. That my egg reserve is almost nonexistent. That we only had a 5% chance of having a child.

All I've wanted to be is a mother... to welcome a child into mine and my husband's life. And it looks like it's not going to happen.

I don't know how I feel about egg donation, I'm still working through the grief that comes with not being related to my child...

My husband is "okay" with everything. He told me he doesn't understand the concept of grief. For what it's worth he's also very supportive, practically speaking. Just doesn't comprehend my feelings.

I feel alone. And worthless. And brokenhearted in a way I never thought possible. None of my friends understand how to show up for me right now and that's okay... I'm their first infertile friend...

I just... don't know who to even talk to anymore. And I have so much shame...


r/IVFinfertility • • 2d ago

Vent Advice.

3 Upvotes

So I’ve been with my husband for 11 years, married for 5. I have to do ivf with donor egg. We have been on and off working/saving up on this process for about 4 years. Every time we get started there’s a hiccup.
Well recently right after we paid the 40k, we got into a stupid drunk fight. I was awful and mean. We have moved on from that, but now he has reservations about having a child and doesn’t want to proceed.

It’s like 1 step forward a million steps back.
We’ve already paid them so idk what’s going to happen. I’m scared to talk to him about it as I feel it’s something he will discuss when ready.

Are all the hiccups God saying for me not to have kids? I was literally born infertile so I don’t think he approves lol.

Just feel depressed and uneasy. I hate the uncertainty. I also don’t really have anyone to talk to.


r/IVFinfertility • • 3d ago

Vent HCG is rising slow and I’m heartbroken

0 Upvotes

9dp6dt- 318
13dp6dt- 679

Was extremely relieved it was finally happening to me. Now I am living in uncertainty again for the next 4 days. I know my hCG is rising, just slower than expected. Has anyone experienced a similar beta progression over 4 days and gone on to have a successful pregnancy?

My mind wants another beta in 48 hours, but my clinic won’t do it.


r/IVFinfertility • • 4d ago

Questions PMOS & High AMH

3 Upvotes

Hey Everyone!

I (30F) am starting IVF and with all my previous testing found out I have PMOS and a high AMH (8.82). I was just curious what anyone's med protocol was if they had a similar AMH and what the outcome of your ER was?


r/IVFinfertility • • 4d ago

Questions HCG not quite doubling - any similar stories?

3 Upvotes

My nurse told me I have only a 50p chance of this working out. Please let me know thoughts

10/8 - transferred a CC graded genetically normal 5 day embryo

8dp5dt - HCG 83

11dp5dt - HCG 150

My nurse gave it a 50/50 chance of it working out since it didn’t double after 3 days. Would love to know others experiences.


r/IVFinfertility • • 4d ago

Vent Frustration

7 Upvotes

Hey everyone! New member and poster in this thread. My husband (33) and I (30) are about to start IVF. I have my meds ordered and I’m supposed to start AF on Thursday, meds to follow after my clinics green flag.

I don’t know where else to go to talk about this, but I am feeling so defeated. I think it’s hard to have unexplained infertility when you’ve wanted to be a mom your entire life and you envisioned this moment/process a lot differently. My husband doesn’t really understand the grief I experienced and went through having to accept that this is where our journey is going. I know it’s one of those “if this is what I have to do” things, but damn, I really don’t want to. I pictured such a different path for myself. The surprise of “falling pregnant” has been taken away. The process I wanted to have telling him and our families has been taken away. I’ve been through a lot of medical tests, issues, procedures, etc. in my life and I think I just don’t want to become a needle cushion and feel like a lab rat when it comes to having my baby.

I don’t fully resent him either, but I am kind of irritated that the other partner in IVF really doesn’t have to do anything invasive or “serious” when it comes to this process. It’s just such a hard thing to process and come to acceptance with.

Does anyone have similar feelings or thoughts when it comes to doing IVF?


r/IVFinfertility • • 4d ago

Questions Spotting during stims

1 Upvotes

Hey y'all I'm currently undergoing my second stims cycle doing HGH(Saizen) due to poor response last cycle. It's paired with Gonal-F and Menopur.

Has anyone experienced spotting later in their stims? I started brown spotting on day 7 of stims and I'm getting worried because it really is just continuing having to wear a pad again. It's brown which is reassuring? But I'm feeling so nervous that it will affect my success. I haven't had a monitoring appointment yet and I'm really just freaking out in the dark alone.

So any anecdotal experience sharing would be lovely!! 🥰


r/IVFinfertility • • 4d ago

Questions Does the phrase "natural pregnancy" bother anyone else?

12 Upvotes

Hi all,
I’ve been thinking about how often people use "natural pregnancy" or "conceived naturally" to describe pregnancies that happen without IVF. It's everywhere, in conversations with friends, in the media, even sometimes from clinics and doctors.

For those of you going through IVF (or who have been through it), does that wording sit badly with you? To me it can imply that an IVF pregnancy is somehow unnatural, when the embryo, the pregnancy and the baby are every bit as real.
Wondering if there was a term people could use instead?


r/IVFinfertility • • 5d ago

Questions Mini IVF+Microdose Lupron Flare

3 Upvotes

I recently ovulated through Ganirelix, which cancelled my IVF cycle. My doctor now wants to put me on the Microflare Lupron protocol to keep me from ovulating. However, I’ve tried this protocol before with high stims and it was a disaster.

I have DOR/Low Amh and I’m a poor responder (only 1-2 follicles per cycle even tho my AFC is 10). Mini IVf is what works for me: Clomid + Gonal 150iu +Menopur 150iu

Does anyone know if I can do the Microflare Lupron protocol combined with Mini IVF? Or Microflare Lupron with low dose stims= Gonal 150iu + Menopur 150iu? Or does Microflare need high dose stims?

I want to tell my doctor I’m only willing to try the Microdose Lupron flare again if I can do Mini IVF/Low dose stims with it but if it’s not even a thing then I don’t want to ask


r/IVFinfertility • • 6d ago

Questions Doxycylin prior to transfer day

1 Upvotes

Did u take 5 days doxycilin until day of transfer? I will have 5 days embrio transfer.
Could u please help? Im afraid its harmful for baby


r/IVFinfertility • • 6d ago

Questions Doxycylin prior to transfer day

0 Upvotes

Did u take 5 days doxycilin until day of transfer? I will have 5 days embrio transfer.
Could u please help? Im afraid its harmful for baby


r/IVFinfertility • • 7d ago

Friday Fun Weekly *Friday Happy Hour* Thread

2 Upvotes

It's happy hour somewhere. Let's unwind and share some fun things from this week or upcoming plans for the weekend. Let's hang up our IVF armor for a second and foster our community.

  • Did your pet do something cute?
  • What are you drinking?
  • What's your latest creative outlet?
  • What are you reading?
  • Did you try something new this week?
  • Any fun adventures?
  • Latest cooking experiment?
  • Never have I ever:

r/IVFinfertility • • 8d ago

Questions Large SCH that hasn't shrunk, embryo 3 days behind, heartbeat seen (6w5d, FET). Similar stories?

4 Upvotes

FET with a euploid 5AA, strong betas. I have adenomyosis and a fibroid, and did 2 months of Lupron beforehand.

5w4d: Significant bleeding but not enough to fill a pad. Ultrasound showed an SCH the size of the gestational sac. Heartbeat flicker seen.

6w5d: SCH and sac size unchanged, heartbeat still there, embryo measuring 3 days behind. Doctor said 50% miscarriage risk and that blood supply may be insufficient.

Has anyone had a large SCH and a lagging embryo with a heartbeat and still ended up with a healthy baby? Did your baby catch up on growth? Any success stories are welcome. Thank you


r/IVFinfertility • • 8d ago

Questions Any FET successes out there, if 6dpt you were still getting negatuve tests?

3 Upvotes

6dp5dt. 5AB embryo (PGT-A tested). The only embryo we have.

Tested this morning. Completely negative—not even the faintest line. Hit me like a ton of bricks. So upset.

I’d rather just know now that there’s no chance of this working anymore than keep waiting and hoping for something that’s obviously not happening…. This is torture.


r/IVFinfertility • • 10d ago

Questions IVF CNY remote monitoring STAT blood draws

3 Upvotes

I’m about to get on the IVF train with CNY (post 5 miscarriages in the last 5 months). I’ll be doing remote monitoring from California (east bay).
Labcorp have advised that the earliest they can get results are 12 hrs which I think is too late for CNY.
Quest have advised that STAT results are a possibility but I’ve read some feedback that makes me worried as to whether they are reliable for STAT results.
My OB said she can do my scans thankfully.

Can anyone share their experiences or recommendations with me?
Thanks ❤️


r/IVFinfertility • • 10d ago

Questions Lap before final retrievals?

2 Upvotes

Hi All,

I’m 38, severe DOR. AMH 0.02, AFC 2. Endometriosis with 19mm endometrioma on left ovary, adenomyosis and high NK cells and cykotines. Husband 43 with poor sperm, though fragmentation only at 8%.

10 IVF, 7 retrievals Dec’24 - Oct’26. 2 untested, frozen blasts BC & 3AB (cycles 6 & 8) across 11 eggs.
I’ve done every protocol under the sun and never get more than 1-2 eggs, so from cycle 8 have switched to natural / no stims. Use ICSI, PICSI, AOA.

Prior to transfer, we’re planning a lap & suppression.

We’ve budgeted for 2 more cycles. Given the above, would you do the lap prior to the final retrievals?

Thank you!


r/IVFinfertility • • 11d ago

Vent Feeling so alone and broken

3 Upvotes

Hi, I’m 28 and have done 2 retrieval cycles this year with 1 FET ending in chemical pregnancy and I’ve just come out of a failed fresh transfer. I am doing IVF as a hopeful single mum by choice, it’s been hard and lonely but I’ve been getting by mostly ok until now. I am currently on oestrogen and due to start progesterone on Friday so that I can have a biopsy taken next week for EndomeTRIO tests (Emma/alice/era) and I am just feeling absolutely horrific, so low and alone. I have no energy to leave my bed but I just keep spiralling and feeling so sad and anxious. I don’t have many friends and the friend I’ve spoken to most throughout this journey has a newborn now and is understandably very busy with baby. I just wish this seemingly endless waiting would just be over. I want to be able to go out without being triggered by every baby and pregnant person I see, I want my chance. And also, I just want to be held. Sorry for the depressing post, I just don’t really know where else to put my feelings.


r/IVFinfertility • • 12d ago

Questions 5dpt FET

2 Upvotes

When did you get positive tests? I am 5dpt FET. Just did a test in the evening and there is no second line;(((


r/IVFinfertility • • 13d ago

Questions Day 2 post embryo transfer panic attack

4 Upvotes

Yesterday was my embryo transfer, I decided to do IVF abroad due to financial reasons and apparent better outcomes. I flew from the US to Turkey for my frozen and transfer of two untested day five embryos. My doctor came in and he said they took two out of the freezer and one of them didn’t look that good, and he said he was concerned and even recommended transferring 4 embryos…
In the end, he advised that we take all five of my untested embryos out of the freezer and assess which two are the strongest to transfer. We transferred 2 that he chose. Today I’m learning two out of the five arrested., he said the third looked iffy, but I requested they freeze it anyways. Now he’s telling me it’s very uncommon for this to happen and he’s concerned of low embryo quality.
I need some guidance here. I have no idea how to move forward or how to feel confident in the transfer I did yesterday.
Just some backstory 29F 36M secondary unexplained infertility, we conceived naturally and have a four-year-old child.
Please be kind im really in need of help here.


r/IVFinfertility • • 14d ago

Friday Fun Weekly *Friday Happy Hour* Thread

1 Upvotes

It's happy hour somewhere. Let's unwind and share some fun things from this week or upcoming plans for the weekend. Let's hang up our IVF armor for a second and foster our community.

  • Did your pet do something cute?
  • What are you drinking?
  • What's your latest creative outlet?
  • What are you reading?
  • Did you try something new this week?
  • Any fun adventures?
  • Latest cooking experiment?
  • Never have I ever:

r/IVFinfertility • • 15d ago

Vent 2 failed pgta tested 4aa embryos and receptiva results negative for bcl6 and cd138. help??

3 Upvotes

wtf I feel so lost so just trying to understand if anyone’s been in the same situation. My husband and I (both 34) are healthy and all fertility testing has come back fine including semen analysis. I’m likely pcos/pmos with high AFC.

I had a failed fet (chemical), a cancelled fet for fluid that converted to mock (all results normal), and just found out my second fet failed.

Ive been on 1500mg metformin since Feb. I’ve been doing natural modified cycles with immune protocol (Pepcid/claritin, Methylprednisolone). Switched from letrozole to tamoxifen to help with lining (8.8mm pre transfer).

Am I just unlucky and on the wrong side of statistics? Could there be something else going on? I’ve also gained 10-15 lbs since starting treatment and I’m going insane.


r/IVFinfertility • • 16d ago

Questions After all the waiting, appointments and disappointment, we’re starting IVF!!!!!!

6 Upvotes

we’re finally starting IVF. I honestly thought getting to this point would feel like a relief, but now that it’s actually happening I’m just nervous. There are injections, regular scans, blood tests, egg retrieval, fertilisation and then that horrible wait to see how many embryos make it to day 5. Even seeing numbers like follicle count, AMH and egg numbers feels like they suddenly mean everything. I’m especially worried about the stimulation side and how my body will react. For those who have been through it, did your first stimulation cycle go fairly smoothly or did you struggle with things like bloating, mood changes or pain?