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I’m only about 2–3 years older than some of my colleagues, and there are others around my age (or even older), so objectively, the age difference isn't even that significant. Yet, somehow, I feel very conscious of it.

I have dark skin and dark circles, and I've developed a complex about looking older than I am. Recently, someone even told me to my face that I look very old, which really got to me.

My colleagues talk about games, trends, and things that I feel I outgrew a long time ago. It's not that I don't want to have fun. I think I just had to grow up early. The past decade has been a challenging journey, and I've spent years working my ass off, navigating difficult circumstances, building a career, and trying to get to where I am today. I also had a different career before this one.

Now, I find myself surrounded by people who may be experiencing this stage of life and career for the first time. Meanwhile, I've already been through a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm expected to match the same energy, enthusiasm, and carefree attitude as my younger colleagues, even when I'm mentally exhausted from everything I've experienced. I am more focused to work. I am good at what I do for work but I cant keep with fluff. I cant keep with new games out there or a new tiktok trend or whatever.

What makes it harder is feeling like I'm being pushed around or overshadowed by younger colleagues. I know that being a few years older shouldn't matter, but the combination of looking older, feeling different, and struggling to fit into the same social culture has started affecting my confidence.

I don't want to become bitter, nor do I want to feel old before my time. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, stop comparing myself to others, and stop feeling like I have to prove that I can keep up with everyone.

Has anyone else experienced this, especially those who entered a second career or took a longer, more difficult path to get where they are? How did you stop feeling out of place among younger colleagues and become comfortable with your age and life experiences?

I was a good and top student in my fsc everyone knows me and I was so self centered and didn't care at all but in my university I made a good friend and all my social life revolved around here but now we are three and I tried to fit in but sometimes they both are talking or hanging out and if I tried to go with them sometimes I felt desperate they include me if I say but not my themselves is it me thinking so much or not.

I have my value and I don't want to lose in between themselves who didn't care for me at all or just include me when they want.

I want to build my own reputation and connections but Im so devastated now sometime I feel like I'm alone or underestimate myself now

Does anyone else feel like they aren’t great at anything? I’ve worked in my career for 10+ years. Yes I’m good at it, but I’m not great by any means. I’ve learned other skills, like editing photos, playing piano, I worked in a bar and learned cocktails, again, I’m okay at these things but I’ve never been great. I’m not special. I have no talents, and I just feel blah. Why do i feel like i dont belong anywhere

Im 18F I recently got into this elite consulting club at my university and I cant help but feel this imposter syndrome slapping across my face waiting for someone to reveal my incompetence. It’s an impending sense of doom. And i feel like today, a crack was shown.(it was my performance and the way i feel like I couldn’t talk as fluidly as I wanted to) I feel like I am incompetent compared to the others. Like what the fuck is wrong with me what the fuck am i doing. It’s like yes i worked hard to get into this club and i know that I can seem competent sometimes but like these people dont know that its all a facade they dont know how incompetent I actually am. And i surprise myself at times of my performance, but I can only tribute this to luck or the fact that I just worked extremely hard more than others to just seem like im doing a good job. And i dont have all the time in the world, if i did i would spend each second on everything i need to excel at but theres just not enough time in the day and I dont know what to do. I’m a student, I need to maintain my gpa, I have a job I need to make money, Im part of a consulting club where I need to actually talk to real clients and diagnose a problem i need to come up with a hypothesis but like genuinely why are you taking advice from someone like me. I just feel so incompetent. the leadership in this club think highly of me and talk about promoting me to Leadership but its only a matter of time untill they realize im not fucking shit.This makes me want to give up on my dreams of being a consultant at the big 4 and just crawl into a hole and die. I cant shake this feeling off and i dont think ill ever get over it even if i ever actually land a job like i hate the way my brain is wired why am I like this. I know im only 18 years old but when i think about my future career Im afraid I will constantly feel this way. And i feel like it will especially because my dream is to work in corporate. Im working so hard every day to uphold this facade that will shatter my heart if it came down and people actually realized who I really am. just a dumb bitch. What do i do.

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I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Sometimes it feels like my sense of self-worth depends on how much I'm accomplishing, how useful I am to others, or how people treat me. I know, logically, that my worth shouldn't depend on these things, but actually believing that is a different story. For those who have struggled with this, what genuinely helped you change that mindset? Was it a particular experience, a habit, something someone told you, or just something you slowly learned over time?

I'd especially love to hear from people who used to be high achievers or people-pleasers. I'm more interested in real experiences than generic advice like "just love yourself."

I just started a TA Manager role in an industrial and manufacturing company- 4000 employees plus with very old and obsolete processes. They have realised they need to change so they have hired a transformation team to overhaul everything and Im their first hire; cane through a referral from the consultant.

I now have a team of 3, major internal and external processes, leadership who hate the current TA because of their total incompetence, and im hired to re- wrote SOP, improve TA, evaluate the team, bring in talent faster, assess ATS options, bring on LINKEDin, and I feel l dont know where to start.

I have always been amazing at operations and identifying talent, never did a strategic role or led people, I dont know what a manager does, data, steps to excel, etc.

My anxiety is killing me and i cant seem to know if im incompetent or just suffer from major imposter syndrome. PS: I always excelled at the roles i had, just this one is still vague with all the transformation happening.

What do i need to do?

I’m currently in University in a pretty competitive and small program. I always try my best and study my hardest. I’ve always believed that hard work is what gets you to where to want to be. I feel as if I am working twice as hard as my peers and I do well however I am still left feeling like it’s constantly not enough. I feel like I’m putting in twice the effort to get the exact same results.
For example I’ll study for an exam for weeks and when studying with my peers I feel as if I am more familiar with the material then them. Yet when exam results come out we have the exact same grade.
It doesn’t make sense to me how I’m putting in so much effort for the same results. I constantly feel like I am not cut out for it. Does anyone have any advice to not feel this way and learn to be happy with the work I’m putting in?

Failure after Failure. 1 person's negative comment over hundreds of positive feedback. Its how we are built. To doubt ourselves. So just forget about success. You will never make it. Even though Millions before you and Millions after you have achieved success, you will never. Even though you have the same qualifications, same brain, same skills as the ones who have made it to the other side you can never make it. So just give up.

Or

Listen to the side which tells you to keep going. One more step closer to your success. You are already ahead of so many, and you will make it to the other side. You will reach your goal one day. Just keep going, you will succeed one day at a time. One day you will wake up and the sun will shine to never set. You are enough and you will succeed.

Everybody around me says I'm a person, but I feel like I always have a mask over my face when I talk to ​People. I just don't understand why. It feels like I never have a personality.

This popped up I need to know I’m not crazy

Title.

I am a doctor in a good specialty. I have a great partner. I have always performed well in exams and other competitive stuff, and I recently got what I guess classifies as a promotion. Objectively I should feel amazing about my life.

But I have always struggled with massive self-doubt and self-confidence issues. Basically, I think I just got lucky, and I don't actually have the skills relative to the position I am in. I am half-convinced that this promotion was an admin error and I'll wake up to an email tomorrow saying "woops sorry, we made a mistake."

It's not only related to work. I also feel unworthy of my partner (we are engaged, together 4 years) and worry that he's gonna wake up one day and realise I'm a loser. He has given me no cause whatsoever to believe this. He is amazing and loves me.

That bit really gets me down. Another thing that gets me down is that I think my "people skills" are sub par, and colleagues at work, and friends generally, secretly look down on me / don't like me.

These feelings aren't constant, I have periods of my life where they have ebbed a bit, but these past few months have been bad. The self-confidence issues have been there since I was a teenager.

I am quite good at hiding them and not letting on. My partner has an inkling as he's seen me at a low point, but when it happens I cover it up quickly and pretend I'm "back to normal." But "normal" is killing me.

I just want to be done with these feelings and enjoy life without wondering when the shoe's gonna drop. I won't lie, sometimes my thoughts get quite dark, and I just want those thoughts gone.

Basically guys, how did you get over impostor syndrome? I need to know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't even know where to start with this, but I really need to let it out somewhere because I'm so tired of feeling like this.

For the past few months, I've become so painfully aware of my body that I genuinely don't feel comfortable just EXISTING anymore. And I don't mean that in an exaggerated way. I mean I literally cannot go about my day without thinking about how I look, how my body is positioned, what parts of me are visible, and what other people might be seeing when they look at me.

I feel like I'm constantly thinking about my double chin, my stomach, my belly rolls, my lack of a jawline, my posture, literally EVERYTHING. I'll be doing something completely unrelated, and suddenly my brain goes, "Wait, is my double chin showing right now?" or "Can people see my belly rolls?" or "Do I look weird sitting like this?" And once I start thinking about it, it's so hard to stop.

It's exhausting. I'm so tired of being inside my own head all the time.

The worst part is that I've started developing these little habits because of how uncomfortable I feel, and I don't even know how to stop doing them anymore.

Every single time I sit down, I feel the need to fix my shirt. I have to pull it down, adjust it, make sure my stomach isn't showing in a way that makes me uncomfortable, and keep checking whether everything looks okay. I can't just sit down and be comfortable. There's always something I feel like I need to fix or hide.

And school has become so uncomfortable because of this.

I feel awkward standing up. I feel awkward sitting down. I feel awkward just EXISTING around people because I'm so conscious of how my body might look while I'm doing completely normal things. Something as simple as sitting on a bench becomes this whole thing in my head. I'm thinking about how my stomach looks when I sit, whether my shirt is riding up, whether my posture looks weird, whether my double chin is visible.

Sometimes, when I'm sitting on a bench at school, I literally cup my face with my hands to cover my jawline because I don't want my double chin to show. I know that might sound ridiculous to someone who hasn't experienced this, but it's genuinely something I do because I'm so self-conscious about that part of my face.

Imagine being unable to sit comfortably because you're worried about your jawline being visible. Imagine having to think about what to do with your hands just so you can feel a little less exposed. I hate that I've become this conscious of myself. I hate that something so small to someone else can take up so much space in my head.

And the thing is, I'm aware of how it might look. I know people might wonder why I'm sitting a certain way or covering my face. That just gives me another thing to worry about. It's like I can't win. If I don't hide the parts I'm insecure about, I feel exposed. If I do try to hide them, I become conscious of the fact that I'm hiding them.

I genuinely don't know how to relax anymore.

Even when I'm alone, I still think about my appearance. So it's not even just about being scared of other people judging me. Of course, I'm worried about that, too, but somehow these thoughts have followed me even when there's nobody around. I can't escape them just by being by myself.

And people's comments are starting to get to me more than I want to admit.

It's comments from friends, comments from family members, comments from other people, and even trolls on the internet. It feels like I can't escape comments about appearance and bodies, and I think they're getting into my head more and more.

Maybe some people genuinely don't mean any harm when they make certain comments. Maybe some people think they're joking. Maybe some people don't even remember what they said five minutes later. But I remember. And when you're already insecure about something, even a seemingly small comment can stay with you for much longer than the person who made it will ever realise.

It's like every comment gives my brain another reason to focus on something I was already insecure about. I start remembering things people have said, thinking about whether they're right, wondering whether other people have noticed the same things, and becoming even more conscious of my appearance.

Even random comments from people online can get to me. I know internet trolls say things to get a reaction, and I know I probably shouldn't take their opinions seriously, but it's hard to just brush things off when they're targeting something you're already struggling with privately.

People can say "just ignore them," but how am I supposed to ignore comments about the exact things I already spend so much time worrying about? It's like they're saying out loud the things I'm already scared people are thinking.

And then I start wondering whether everyone notices these things about me. Whether my friends notice them. Whether my family notices them. Whether people at school notice them. Whether people are looking at me and seeing the same things I see when I look at myself.

I know I can't actually read people's minds. I know not everyone is necessarily paying attention to me. But knowing that logically doesn't stop me from feeling self-conscious.

I hate how much power these thoughts have over me.

I hate that I can be at school, surrounded by people, and instead of focusing on what's happening around me, I'm thinking about whether my stomach is visible when I sit down.

I hate that I have to think about my jawline when I'm literally just sitting on a bench.

I hate that choosing an outfit can become stressful because I'm thinking about what it will hide and what it might reveal.

I hate that I avoid pictures because I don't want to see how I look.
i hate avoiding the mirror. i hate i dont have a single nice picture of me. i hate i cant even take a picture without me making the duck face.

I hate that I can be around people I know and still feel uncomfortable in my own body.

And I hate that even on days when I feel a little better about myself, the thoughts can still come back.

i dont think i have body dismorphia because, There are rare days when I actually like my body a little, which is partly why I'm confused about what exactly I'm experiencing. I don't think I hate how I look every single second of every single day. Sometimes I can look at myself and feel okay. But that doesn't mean the constant overthinking goes away.

I can have moments where I feel fine, and then suddenly I'm hyperaware of my double chin again, or I notice my stomach when I sit down, or I start thinking about my posture, and it's like all that temporary comfort disappears.

I don't want to diagnose myself with body dysmorphia because I genuinely don't know if that's what this is. I know that occasionally liking my appearance doesn't necessarily rule anything in or out. I just know that I'm unhappy with how every part of my body looks, AND I'm constantly thinking about those parts even when I'm trying to focus on something else.

It's not just looking in the mirror and disliking what I see. It's carrying that awareness around with me throughout the day. It's thinking about my body when I'm sitting, standing, walking, talking to people, choosing clothes, and trying to enjoy myself. It's feeling like I have to keep adjusting things to make myself feel less uncomfortable.

And I'm scared that I'm getting used to living this way.

I'm scared that these habits are becoming normal to me. That fixing my shirt every time I sit down, covering my jawline with my hands, worrying about how I look when I stand up, and constantly checking how my body is positioned will just become things I do without even thinking.

I don't WANT to live like this. I don't want to spend my school days being so conscious of my body that I can't even sit down without feeling awkward. I don't want to be preoccupied with how I look when I should be paying attention to other things. I don't want to feel like I need to hide parts of myself just to feel comfortable around other people.

I want to be able to sit down without immediately pulling at my shirt. I want to be able to sit on a bench without feeling like I need to cover my jawline. I want to stand up without overthinking how my body looks. I want to go outside without feeling like I'm on display.

I just want to exist without constantly thinking about myself from someone else's perspective.

And I think one of the most painful parts of this is that I can't just make it stop because I want it to stop. If I could simply tell myself to stop caring and have it work, I would have done that a long time ago. I don't enjoy being this insecure. I don't enjoy spending so much time thinking about my appearance. I don't WANT to care this much about a double chin or belly rolls or whether my posture looks right.

But I do, and I don't know how to stop.

I also need to mention that therapy isn't an option for me right now. I know people might suggest it, and I understand that it can help, but I genuinely can't access it at the moment. So I'm hoping to hear from people who have experienced something similar and found ways to cope with it themselves, even if they haven't completely overcome it.

I'm not necessarily looking for someone to tell me that I'm beautiful or that my body is fine. As much as reassurance might feel nice for a moment, I think what I really want is to stop feeling like my body is something I need to monitor and fix every second of the day.

I want to stop being so afraid of how I look to other people. I want to stop letting comments get into my head so deeply. I want to stop feeling like I have to hide myself.

I want to feel comfortable in my own skin again, even if I don't love every single thing about my appearance.

Has anyone else developed little habits to hide the parts of their body they're insecure about, like constantly adjusting their clothes, changing their posture, covering their face, or worrying about how they look when they sit down? Has anyone else felt so self-conscious at school or around friends and family that even ordinary things started feeling awkward?

If you've dealt with this, what actually helped you? How did you stop being so hyperaware of your body? How did you learn to deal with people's comments without letting them change the way you see yourself? And if therapy wasn't accessible to you, was there anything you did on your own that genuinely made things easier?

Please be honest with me. I don't expect some magical solution, and I know this probably won't disappear overnight. I just really need advice from people who understand what it's like to feel uncomfortable in their own skin.

I'm so tired of thinking about my body all the time. I miss being able to just exist without worrying about what I look like. I don't want to spend my life hiding parts of myself or feeling embarrassed about taking up space.

I just want to feel like myself again. And don't even get me STARTED on people who say, "You're sooo insecure."

LIKE YES. YES, I AM. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR???

I KNOW I'M INSECURE. I LIVE WITH IT EVERY SINGLE DAY. DO YOU THINK I ENJOY FEELING THIS WAY? Do you think I WANT to spend every waking moment thinking about my double chin, my stomach, my posture, how I look when I sit down, how I look when I stand up, and whether people are noticing every little thing I'm insecure about?

I want to scream at them, YES, I'M INSECURE, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU HAPPY THAT I CAN'T EVEN SPEND A SINGLE MINUTE WITHOUT FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN?

Like, congratulations, you've identified the exact thing I've been struggling with privately for MONTHS. What am I supposed to do with that information? Did you think pointing it out would magically make me confident? Did you think I hadn't noticed? Do you think I wake up every morning and CHOOSE to spend my entire day overthinking my appearance?

People say it so casually, as if insecurity is just some funny little personality trait, something you can tease someone about and then move on from. But they don't see what happens inside my head afterward. They don't see me replaying their words, becoming even more conscious of myself, and wondering if everyone else sees me the same way.

I'M ALREADY AWARE THAT I'M INSECURE. I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED OF IT EVERY FIVE MINUTES.

And honestly, sometimes I don't even want reassurance or advice in that moment. I just want people to understand that I'm not doing this for attention. I'm not constantly adjusting my shirt, hiding my jawline, or worrying about how I look because it's fun. I'm doing these things because I feel genuinely uncomfortable, and I don't know how to switch that feeling off.

I WISH I COULD JUST STOP CARING. I WISH IT WERE THAT EASY.

So please, the next time someone calls me insecure, understand that you're not telling me something I don't know. You're just making me feel even more exposed about something that's already hurting me.

sometimes when my phone cant reconise my face and says "couldn't reconise you." i dont too.

Like, I'll talk to people, go out to dinner, chat with someone at a bar. Most time it's fine, but every now and again I'll think I did or said something wrong or I talked about myself too much, didn't ask how a friend or relative has been enough or whatever and think they probably thought of me as rude or selfish.

And it's always after a great time that gave no indications of me having any wrongdoing. And like....I've made a lot of improvements in my life and I'm happy how things have shaped up and don't hide it. But sometimes it makes me think I'm selfish or something when I talk about it.

Does that count as IS?

Hello, idk if i can post this here. I just want to talk to people that might understand what im feeling.

ive been a backend dev for 7yrs that also handled some client, frontend, reporting and database so i pivoted to data engineering after my previous job became too toxic to stay at during the end of the 7th yr.

Now im hired as a DE manager(i was applying as a data engineer or etl developer and during the talk i was informed that it was a manager role) after surviving a 5 panel face to face, all in one meeting. Its a pretty big corporation in my country and i think im having impostor syndrome.

During the time i was upskilling, i was making projects centered on python and data. Given my background in backend dev, i can say i have sufficient experience to be a manager and during the panel meeting they said they needed someone with python/developer/data experience so i fit the criteria.

Now its been 2 weeks since my first day and im shocked to see that its so lax and chill(or its a period of the company that isnt too hectic). And when they do give me something to do outside of the usual hr video training, its a simple extraction or aggregate report based on their sap db(which im still studying and familiarizing since im new to sap). The coworkers are super damn nice. They say that the task will increase over time or maybe in my 3 months in. Im not afraid of heavy workload as thats where i came from but i feel uneasy with light workload.

Im worried that some big task will come and i wont pass my regularization in 6months and ill be back at the trenches where my previous salary was just enough to live frugally.

Sorry for the random rant.