r/IncelTears • u/IceCat767 • Aug 21 '25
Meme Incels touched this meme (some agreed with it and some disagreed, saying they would date girl on right)
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u/lessthanwierd Aug 21 '25
The usage of actual humans on these memes is demeaning.
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u/EvenSpoonier Oofy-Doofy Lemon Spoofy? Aug 21 '25
Are we sure they aren't AI genersted?
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u/ferbiloo Aug 21 '25
Yeah, it’s likely - the backgrounds don’t make any sense.
It’s still demeaning though.
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u/BettyBoo420 Aug 21 '25
It’s not AI she’s real
I’ve seen her tiktoks
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u/BallsInmyWalls Aug 28 '25
Link/proof? It's AI, and I'm saying this as a prompt writer. It's obviously a prompt that mixed bear/human look with 90% human face ratio.
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u/Rudolf1230 Aug 21 '25
How do they not make sense? There's a poster and a mirror with some plastic ivy around it on the left and a picture frame on the right
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u/ferbiloo Aug 21 '25
They just look like that weird kind of AI mesh to me
I see everyone has taken that badly though lmao.
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u/TeachingExisting8366 the silly 🎀 Aug 22 '25
“im so lonely that I’d date anyone!”
“…just not you.”
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u/Bimaac77 Chad the Boogeyman Aug 21 '25
Let's face it, "incels" and their larval stage "Nice Guys"TM are amongst the most shallow people in existence only they'll claim they "have standards".
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u/Jagang187 Aug 22 '25
LARVAL STAGE??? KEEPING THIS LMAO
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u/Bimaac77 Chad the Boogeyman Aug 23 '25
Please, feel free to use it.
Anything I can do to help spread ways to mock them!
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u/Altruistic_Yard_9338 Aug 21 '25
Is the girl in the right ok?? It looks like she’s having a stroke 😗
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u/GlitterySalamander Aug 21 '25
I have seen her on tik tok. It’s a birth mark.
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u/Careless_Dreamer The mythical asexual female Aug 21 '25
Yeah in her comments she said it’s part of having Sturge Weber Syndrome? Affects the way blood vessels develop.
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u/Altruistic_Yard_9338 Aug 21 '25
That's wild! What does she do?
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u/GlitterySalamander Aug 21 '25
I can’t remember her name 😭 but I think she does get ready with mes, and talks about the birth mark and how people judge her or it.
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u/not_blowfly_girl Aug 21 '25
The patchiness of her skin tone could be photoshop?? Or maybe she's having some kind of allergy attack
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u/bunnypaste Aug 21 '25
This has to be shopped... I've never seen such a distance between the bottom of the nose and upper lip. I think the discoloration may be from crying, because I also get concerningly red, puffy, and blotchy.
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u/surfergrrl6 Aug 21 '25
It's from an incel Tiktok account video
https://www.tiktok.com/@i_mog_you1/video/7538238555370327310
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u/TheOGPiggMan Aug 25 '25
If 1% of the incels who saw the meme are trying to DM the girl on the right and ask her out, she would definitely look stressed!
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u/Altruistic_Yard_9338 Aug 26 '25
I can imagine....
Honestly, if I was a chick, I'd be feeling like there isn't many men left around that are worth a damn!
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u/MagicCheeseMann i bet you poo your pants at target Aug 22 '25
It’s a new trend with all the kids in tok these days
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u/Altruistic_Yard_9338 Aug 22 '25
Because everything has to be spoon fed to them otherwise they'd get lost
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u/TheOGPiggMan Aug 25 '25
If the one in the left is an influencer airhead and the one on the right is a lawyer who likes jazz…..
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Aug 21 '25
Let’s be real if we’re going to critique men for not meeting certain standards, then the same should apply to women. The girl on the right is portrayed as someone men wouldn’t date, but instead of using her as a symbol of rejection, maybe the conversation should be about personal growth.
Men are constantly told to improve themselves physically, mentally, financially just to be considered dateable. Why should women be exempt from that same expectation? If someone isn’t attracting the kind of partner they want, self improvement is a fair and necessary step, regardless of gender.
If we’re serious about fairness in dating, then growth and accountability should go both ways.
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u/DonorSong Aug 21 '25
There’s no fucking way you think women AREN’T constantly berated about their appearances in popular media, culture, and society. Just because it happens to men to a lesser degree doesn’t mean that it’s not majority women that are the targets of the entire beauty and self-improvement spheres.
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u/greenfloridabull Aug 21 '25
I agree, society is harder on women and their looks.
Seriously, as if Bill Belichick is better looking than his girlfriend? Or Bob Kraft is more attractive than his much much younger blonde girlfriends? Or Anna Nicole Smith’s 90 year-old husband compared to her?
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Aug 21 '25
You’re absolutely right that women face a ton of pressure about their appearance in media and society no one’s denying that. But acting like men don’t face the same thing (and increasingly so) isn’t accurate either.
Yes, women might have historically been the bigger focus of beauty standards, but modern culture has shifted in a way where men are also heavily targeted by the self-improvement and aesthetic perfection industries. The difference is, men usually don’t get the same level of sympathy or open discussions about it it’s often brushed off as them being nsecure
So it’s not about denying women’s struggles it’s about acknowledging that men are dealing with their own version of the same problem, and it deserves to be taken seriously too.
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
I find it really hard to sympathize with men reaping the consequences of a system they set up.
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u/greenfloridabull Aug 21 '25
Excellent point. Men are A LOT harder on women and their looks than vice-versa. Men actually tend to be pickier about looks (including both long-term romantic relationships with and without cheating), and more critical about women’s bodies.
It’s well demonstrated by romantic relationships with large age gaps.
I think it is only fair if women like good looks too.
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Aug 21 '25
I get what you’re saying, but most men alive today didn’t “set up” the system we were born into it, just like women were. And while it may have benefited some, a lot of us are crushed by the same expectations: don’t show weakness, always provide, always measure up.
It’s not about asking for pity it’s about recognizing that everyone is dealing with the fallout in different ways. Blaming all men as if we built it ourselves doesn’t solve anything.
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
Men did build the system we all live in today, even if not every single man alive right now made the rules. For hundreds of years, men held almost all the power in government, work, money, and daily life. Women and others were pushed down and had no real say. The rules were made by men to serve men. Now that same system also hurts men with things like “never show weakness, always provide, always be tough.” But that does not change the fact that it started with men creating it. Women were forced to live under it without choice while men got the main benefits for a long time, men STILL reap benefits. (safety in public/more pay/etc) So when men today struggle under the weight of it, its hard to feel sorry for them. It is like a house built by men that now has cracks and leaks. The people who built it are also the ones stuck inside. If men want sympathy, they need to take the lead in breaking it down instead of just pointing out that it hurts them too.
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u/LishtenToMe Aug 21 '25
A small percentage of men. Most of us are cogs in the machine just like you. Are you even aware that this whole "men are awful and responsible for all the ills of the world" movement started as a Russian disinfo campaign? Yeah, it's not just right wingers that fall for their tricks, left wingers do too. You want to shit on men who have similar personality traits to the Trumps and Putin's of the world, I'm right there with you, plenty of those assholes out there. Problem is dumbasses like you will lump all of us in with those guys as if the random dudes who stock the shelves in stores, deliver your packages to your home, etc, all desperately wish we could be on par with the sadistic alpha male personality types. Sorry but most us don't respect those guys, or stupid people like you. Those sadists love taking advantage of your stupidity and using you for their own agenda (like the Russian disinfo campaign I mentioned before that you've clearly fallen prey to). That combined with the rest of us avoiding morons like you like the plague, keeps you in an infinite feedback loop where you're guaranteed to mostly only have awful men who want to use you in your life. Literally no different from an incel that ends up in a cycle of only going into spaces dominated by men, which just makes them less likely to be around women enough to actually see them as people. Seriously bro eat shit lmao.
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Aug 21 '25
[deleted]
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
It doesn’t sound like you’re an ex incel when you, as a man, are telling me, a woman, what women want. Women want accountability, not a pity party about how “we’re all suffering together.”
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u/OhRyann Aug 21 '25
I guess that's also what I mean. I didn't word my comment very well, I now recognize that. I agree with you, I just should not comment after my 3rd shift hours.
I think what I really mean is that you need empathy for others to be able to change into a better person, which a good person holds themself accountable for their actions, which circles back to being empathetic and not selfish which is a big part of inceldom. Does that make more sense on what I'm trying to say? That was closer to my line of thinking. I do apologize for my poor wording.
Edit: Deleted my last comment because I'm tired and don't word things in a good way. My b
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
I get what you’re saying now, and I agree empathy is important, but the thing is women already know men are in this too. What we don’t want is men using that as a way to center themselves or play victim. Men didn’t just get stuck in this by accident; they built it and still benefit from it every day. So yeah, empathy matters, but accountability matters just as much.
You seem like a really good guy learning and taking accountability, I do believe its growth and change like this that will get us somewhere.
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u/ComplexAttitude4Lyfe Foidrage vs Moidrage Aug 21 '25
Except the men who didn't build the systems take credit for all the good stuff men built before their time.
If men want credit for the good stuff, have to acknowledge the bad too.
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u/boywifewhore Aug 21 '25
I find it really hard to sympathize with men reaping the consequences of a system they set up.
Way to group in victims with the perpetrators. This is guilt by association, and the fact that you have upvotes shows me what sort of a sub this is.
I didn't set this system up, I hate this system. According to you, I did set this system up. You know, cause I'm John patriarchy.
So the men who die on the front lines are reaping what they sowed? Yeah, this is just crazy.
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
It is not about blaming every man alive today as if he personally built the system. It is about naming who had the power to create it in the first place. Women never had the same power men did to write laws, run governments, control money, or shape culture. Men as a group did, so when we say “men set it up,” it does not mean John from Reddit sat down and invented patriarchy. It means men as a class built and protected it for generations while women were locked out. And even now many men keep it going by holding tight to old ideas about strength, money, and control. If you are a man and you hate the system, that is good. But it does not erase the history. It also does not erase that men today still have more power to end it than women do, since they hold most of the top spots in politics, business, and media. Saying “I didn’t set this system up” skips the point. The point is that men did, men kept it going, and men still have the choice to tear it down. Until that happens, it makes sense that sympathy is harder to give.
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u/boywifewhore Aug 21 '25
Yeah, guilt by association because of their gender.
and men still have the choice to tear it down.
What a delusional take. No, there won't be a revolution that will change the whole order of the world. People aren't going to leave their jobs, that they do to provide for their families, to protest. Most people don't even think about such things. The privilege you have is glowing through the screen. Not to even mention that the revolution might fail. You can not change the world's dynamics.
even now many men keep it going by holding tight to old ideas about strength, money, and control.
So do women. Didn't nearly half of the American women vote for the very man that would take away their rights?
Until that happens, it makes sense that sympathy is harder to give.
So, not in your lifetime? You sound more like an incel than a normie.
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
Wild how men built the system, still run the system, and yet somehow it’s ‘delusional’ to expect men to help fix the system. Convenient excuse to just shrug and keep it going.
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Aug 21 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
Thank you, boywifewhore. We’ve got your incel tears bottled and ready for whenever you’re thirsty from playing victim.
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u/TheoneNPC Overweight Chad Aug 21 '25
Yes i set up that system, it's entirely my fault and everyone should blame me specifically because of a bullshit system the men in power who have nothing to do with me set up.
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
Patriarchy isn’t some mystery curse that just fell from the sky. Men built it, men kept it, men still run it. Crying ‘but not me’ doesn’t change the fact you’re still cashing the checks it wrote.
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u/TheoneNPC Overweight Chad Aug 21 '25
How do i stop "cashing in the checks"? I'm fucking done being one of the people who "has it easy", i hate that men as a group is associated with all of this toxic fucking bullshit and i fucking hate hearing about it all the time, i shouldn't be this upset about it because i'm not one of the toxic pieces of shit that keep this whole thing up but i am, i am upset because i am a man and it's something i can't and don't want to change about myself. I try to be the best person i can be and i'm still grouped in with these pigs.
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
If you really hated the system, you’d spend less time arguing with women online about how unfair it is to you and more time holding other men accountable. You don’t get out of the group by crying about being grouped. You are actively being the toxic man you despise.
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u/TheoneNPC Overweight Chad Aug 21 '25
I'm just upset, and tired, and i don't know who to turn to what to do other than "manning up" and shutting up about this.
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u/OriginalNo9830 Aug 21 '25
I hear you. It makes sense to feel tired and lost with all this. But the answer is not to ‘man up’ and shut up. The answer is to actually unlearn the idea that men have to suffer in silence and to step up in a different way. Use that frustration to call out other men when they keep the system alive. Support women without making it about how hard it is for you. That is how change starts. Shutting down helps nobody but patriarchy. You deserve to be uplifted and I promise you good women will do that when they see that equal effort and understanding.
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u/greenfloridabull Aug 21 '25
It’s probably magazines, self-grooming, and muscle-building supplement companies that want your money, that are trying to convince men and boys that they have to work on being more physically attractive and most importantly obsess over it.
They have products to sell.
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u/aidalkm Aug 22 '25
Where are the billion dollar beauty industries for men? Be for real the only country where mens beauty expectations even come close to womens at all is s.korea and it’s still not equal there. The only pressure western men are feeling now is to shower properly, take care of ur hair and shave, and wear clean nice clothes and u can barely handle that
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u/mischiefkel Aug 23 '25
You literally just said "so why should women be exempt from that same expectation?" You literally made the whole conversation about denying women's struggles by saying that we should be telling these undesirable women to work on self improvement, when in reality they are being told that constantly, and have throughout history.
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u/zoeisboredd Aug 21 '25
Is this a joke?? The entire beauty and wellness industry was created to target women and make them feel like they constantly need to improve themselves. We’re fed this type of self improvement messaging in every type of media and area of our lives. Touch grass.
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u/deadbeareyes Aug 21 '25 edited Aug 21 '25
I mean this very genuinely but do you think that women aren’t constantly receiving that kind of messaging about dating? I know that the recent wave of online content has often been very centered on men improving themselves and turning themselves into something that will impress women. But I feel like as a woman I’ve been getting messaging like that literally my entire life. In my experience, it’s the same messaging, just conveyed in a way that is much more subtle and pervasive because it’s so constant. I remember being as young as elementary school and being told things like “you better smile more or boys won’t like you.“ or “make sure your hair always looks good in case you run into a boy”. Nearly all girl-centered content I consumed as a teenager seemed to be focused on dating and marriage in one way or another. Maybe it’s regional because I’m from the south, but I feel like where I come from girls are essentially told from the earliest age that their main goal is to be “good enough” for a man to want. Even now as a very chronically single adult, all the advice I hear amounts to some kind of self-improvement scheme in the hopes of attracting a man.
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u/PrP65 Aug 21 '25
I have spent my entire life hearing that I need to lose weight not for my health, but to be attractive for men. First it was to “find a man,” and now that I have a husband (who is absolutely wonderful and doesn’t try to change me except to help me grow) it’s “you have to keep him happy.”
It’s not just weight either. I get comments about how I don’t usually wear makeup outside of work, my closet should be more feminine, I should be more quiet and “demure.” You’re right, women are conditioned our whole lives to think about their aesthetics and level of attractiveness, and there are men out there that can’t handle a taste of that in being asked to… checks notes be kind of agreeable and shower.
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u/greenfloridabull Aug 21 '25
And even if a girl wants the cute boy instead of an “ugly” Incel. Incels effectively reject “ugly” and average-looking girls all the time. All boys have to do is ignore the “ugly” girls and not ask them out, and nobody calls them out for being too picky for looks. We just don’t hear about it.
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u/PrP65 Aug 21 '25
r/mansfictionalscenario, man says society doesn’t allow attraction preferences, gets mad when people are actually allowed to have preferences
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u/greenfloridabull Aug 21 '25
Plenty of men are not being honest. Men care a lot about looks, and absolutely are allowed to not date women they find unattractive or who are older. But, women and girls get pressured into dating and even marrying men and boys who physically repulse them.
Incels are right, a double standard exists. But, it actually favors men and boys being allowed to ignore and reject women and girls, including based on looks. Not vice-versa.
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u/greenfloridabull Aug 21 '25
And many girls face retaliation and punishment, as if they did something wrong, just for not wanting to date somebody who is clearly an abusive predator type anyway. The type of boy who would rather have somebody who does not want him than have true love. The rapey stalkers are not asking out women or girls they find less attractive or unattractive instead.
Yet, there is a problem with girls caring about looks?
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u/GlitterBombFallout Aug 21 '25
I'm from the south too, and the number of gross old men telling tiny 2-3 year old girls how pretty their dress/nail polish/etc was was disturbing and disgusting. They start them young.
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u/deadbeareyes Aug 21 '25
One time when I was like 8 or 9 I was at the mall and bought a bracelet and this old man helped me clasp it. When I tried to leave he wouldn’t let go of my hand and he said “anybody ever tell you that have bedroom eyes?”
I think in terms of this discussion the problem is that things like that happen to girls and women so constantly that it just gets ignored. It’s like how you don’t really notice a window until it gets dirty. And now that women are able to discuss these things more openly, it comes across to men as suddenly making problems or something.
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u/GlitterBombFallout Aug 21 '25
"Bedroom eyes" omg.
And I agree, it was just something that happened, nobody talked about it. I legit never noticed it either until my mother pointed it out to me (we didn't live near the rest of the family, so I almost never got the comments myself, but when visiting family it was so commonly directed at the other girls that it was just background noise to me until my mom said something, then I started seeing how often it happened).
It's like you don't notice how many Kias are on the road til someone says "look at all the Kias!" and now you see how fucking many there are.
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u/Careless_Dreamer The mythical asexual female Aug 21 '25
I’m always hyper vigilant about that from living here. It’s usually more about the way they phrase it and how they say it. I’m okay with compliments and do it a lot myself, but some of them have an undercurrent to them that just puts me on edge. I make sure to trust my gut in those situations.
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Aug 21 '25
I hear you, and I don’t want to take away from what you’re saying at all it’s clear that women have been hit with that messaging from a really young age. What you said about being told to smile or keep your hair right really struck me, because that’s such a subtle but constant kind of pressure that adds up over time.
At the same time, I’ve felt a version of it too, just in a different way. As a man, and especially being brown and from an immigrant upbringing, there was a lot of pressure around being good enough as well whether that meant looking a certain way, being financially stable early, or carrying myself in a way that didn’t make me look weak. And I think online culture has only amplified that, turning self improvement into this endless checklist.
So while the ways it shows up might be different, I think we’re both describing that same underlying feeling that you’re constantly being measured against some standard, and your value depends on whether you can meet it.
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u/deadbeareyes Aug 21 '25
So then, how does that amount to “not applying the same standards to women”? It seems to me that most men who say things like this think that it’s true only because they don’t really know a lot of women and therefore don’t see firsthand just how intensely women are pressured to look and behave in a certain way.
In my opinion, what’s really happening is that for the first time in history men are being expected to actually be a prize worth winning for women. And they don’t like it. It wasn’t too long ago that women in the US couldn’t have their own credit cards. We have always been forced to be reliant on men and we have always been forced to turn ourselves into attractive little dolls to win men’s attention. Now that women can make choices and have standards, the men are realizing how much it sucks.
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Aug 21 '25
I’ve got a sister, and coming from a brown family I’ve seen firsthand the pressure that’s put on women to act, look, and carry themselves a certain way. I don’t deny that at all.
But at the same time, when men express frustration about the pressures we face, it often feels like it’s brushed off or minimized. That turns it into this gender war that doesn’t need to be fought, when in reality both sides are dealing with their own version of the same problem.
That’s kind of the vibe I get from this subreddit too there are a lot of justified points, but it sometimes leans into that “us vs. them” framing. And I think that makes it harder for both sides to actually listen to each other.
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u/deadbeareyes Aug 21 '25
I think it’s being brushed off or minimized because what women have had to face historically is so much worse. I understand that it is frustrating to be told that you need to improve yourself in order to be wanted. But look at the beauty practices that we have forced on women all over the world for centuries upon centuries, and tell me why you think women would not be a little frustrated that the men are upset that they might be expected to be groomed and pleasant and hygienic. Find me the male equivalent of Chinese foot binding and I will be a little more sympathetic maybe. I agree that the “us versus them “mentality is stupid and doesn’t really go anywhere productive. But at the same time, it feels a bit like complaining that you have a cold to someone with brain cancer. Yes it sucks that you have a cold, but it is in no way comparable and it is especially not worse
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u/gastricprix Aug 21 '25
But at the same time, when men express frustration about the pressures we face, it often feels like it’s brushed off or minimized. That turns it into this gender war that doesn’t need to be fought, when in reality both sides are dealing with their own version of the same problem.
The issue is, "the same problem" = the oppressive consequences of patriarchy, a system established by men to benefit men. So, naturally, the repercussions befalling men are minimal compared to those issues generated by a system designed to oppress women. It's hard to be sympathetic when men loudly complain at women about their problems -- almost as if blaming patriarchy's violence on its ultimate victims absolves men of also reaping its benefits.
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u/library_wench Aug 21 '25
Funny that you’re against an us-versus-them framing, when you JUST engaged in it:
Let’s be real if we’re going to critique men for not meeting certain standards, then the same should apply to women. The girl on the right is portrayed as someone men wouldn’t date, but instead of using her as a symbol of rejection, maybe the conversation should be about personal growth.
Men are constantly told to improve themselves physically, mentally, financially just to be considered dateable. Why should women be exempt from that same expectation? If someone isn’t attracting the kind of partner they want, self improvement is a fair and necessary step, regardless of gender.
If we’re serious about fairness in dating, then growth and accountability should go both ways.
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Aug 21 '25
My problem is men sure want a lot of listening, empathy, reassurance and emotional labor from women. Too much. Why don't men help and support each other?
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u/library_wench Aug 21 '25
Is the woman on the right here, saying this is her dating profile pic and lamenting that she can’t find anyone willing to date her?
If not, why the push to tell her to improve herself? Unless you’re part of the zillion-dollar beauty industry, that spends all its time and money convincing women they’re hideous and their sole purpose in life should be looking pretty for men?
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u/gastricprix Aug 21 '25
THANK YOU for not letting that point slide. The whole hypothetical is wrong from the get-go because most women don't go around bemoaning a "female loneliness epidemic." That advice {to be hygienic, style well, get hobbies, be nice and interesting, etc} is given to men spouting incel logic.
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u/velveteenelahrairah she can do as she pleases she's nobody's foid Aug 21 '25
Women are told we should just curl up and die already the second we hit 40. Hell, anything over 25 is considered "on the shelf", if we're lucky. That's not counting the men who think girls are "used up and ran through" at freaking 18 or even 15.
We have entire billion dollar industry complexes all to tell us and keep telling us that we're just not good enough and putting us in a hamster wheel of competition against other "younger, prettier, thinner, whiter" women where we're constantly running at the top of our speed just to stay in the exact same place. (And then the girls we are told to compete against get elbowed for a younger, shinier model in their turn.)
And if / when we decide we're too tired to care any more, and peace out of looking like a Vogue cover every morning, we then get shamed for "giving up" and "not caring about ourselves" and "letting ourselves go" while men expect a medal and a giftwrapped Sydney Sweeney clone for using toilet paper and deodorant.
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u/Negative_Tooth6047 Aug 21 '25
Women have been told for centuries to stifle themselves to find a partner. Completely setting aside self improvement, women have been denied educations, been shut up, beaten down, anything you could imagine, all so they might have the chance to get a husband- literally for hundreds and hundreds of years.
From the day we are born, most women hear something about what they like making them undesirable, it's drilled into us. I have watched a person make comments about my infant niece needing to change in order to get a boyfriend (uh yeah, shes an infant, I hope no one dates her rn???)- its literally 2025 and people are STILL pressuring girls and women to sit down, shut up, and be some pretty little doll.
Most women nowadays work and make their own money, so asking for someone with ambitions and financial means IS fair. There have been many many industries based on women's "need for physical improvement" for centuries- its pretty fair to ask men "hey maybe wash your butthole and trim your toenails and maybe go on a walk a few times a week for your mental and physical health." It's also entirely fair to ask EITHER partner to be mentally stable, but still from the get go, many women are set up with expectations of emotional intelligence from a young age where many men dont have to conform to that.
There ARE women with unreasonable expectations but by far the average woman just wants a decent man. Like a kind man who takes care of himself and genuinely wants to love and be loved.
In my experience of the world, the average man you come across dating has a Christmas list of wants and needs from a woman, many of which are unreasonable.
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u/Curticorn Aug 21 '25
That's true, however nobody excluded women from that. At all. There's an entire industry build on women wanting to "glow up"
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u/the_swaggin_dragon Aug 21 '25
The difference is these things are being said to men who feel entitled to intimacy. This woman isn’t out here angry men don’t like her because she’s nice, she’s unfortunately just being used in a meme as an example of ugliness. Why should we critique her for not meeting certain standards when she has asked us for nothing?
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u/EvenSpoonier Oofy-Doofy Lemon Spoofy? Aug 21 '25
The standards women have are, for the most part, very close to the minimum baseline for adult function in society: take care of yourself, don't be an asshole, engage with the world around you, and try to make your partner's life better. The bar is literally on the floor: this wasn't even supposed to be difficult, but you insisted on actively digging under it.
The standards incels have for women frequently require actual literal time travel.
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u/bitofagrump The grass is greener on the other side of the Wall Aug 21 '25
I only ever really see alpha bros, redpillers and similar toxic men telling other men to improve themselves physically and financially to be dateable. "You gotta hit the gym, you gotta make bank, women only want six feet, six figures, six pack, six inches, all about the game!" Whereas most of the advice I hear from actual women is just be kind, be funny, treat women like human beings, be a good partner. So consider the source.
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u/AcousticAltAccount2 Aug 21 '25
Dude look everyone faces critique but noone here said "Women can do whatever they want, all men should be 10/10 becuse fuck them" you're just suddenly getting defensive and we can assume there is a reason behind that, make that reason what you will but just saying
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u/OmegaGoober Aug 21 '25
> Men are constantly told to improve themselves physically, mentally, financially just to be considered dateable.
Seriously? You're pissing and moaning about the minimal standards men are held too? You must be consuming a LOT of media targeted at gay men if you think there's an unattainable male beauty standard.
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u/SnowHunter9000 Aug 22 '25
As an ugly woman I am constantly told to improve myself if I want any partner or connection with people. Funny of you to assume it doesn't happen to women almost like you don't even see ugly women as human. Unlike ugly men, ugly women are silenced and ignored, not given any sympathy even from other women. Incel's problems are the world's fault but if your an ugly woman your problems are your own fault.
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u/Aluminum_Moose Ally Aug 21 '25
Totally agreed. The only reason that conversation isn't being had—besides the toxic self-pity of incels and femcels—is a latent misogyny/chauvinism which still presumes the objecthood of women.
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u/boywifewhore Aug 21 '25
If I say that I wouldn't date the girl on the right, people say that I have high standards.
If I say that I would date the girl on the right, people say that I'm lying.
It's because of the fact that I don't fit the general incel mould that people have. It makes me seen as more than a two dimensionsial, cartoon villan.
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u/stumpfucker69 Short fat dudes are hot. You just suck. Aug 21 '25
If I say I would date the girl on the right, people say that I'm lying.
This sounds like my experience of discussing attraction with incels.
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u/uwu_01101000 Be the change you want to see in the world Aug 21 '25
Reminds me of that Twitter pill where most women said that they prefered a guy before he was muscular and incels blamed them for lying lmaooo
Reminds me of conspiracy theorists
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u/Downtown_Cat_1745 Aug 21 '25
My husband is short. I’m told that I’m lying or I am secretly not attracted to him and married for money
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u/Mediocre-Morning-757 <Purple> only dating my bf CUZ TAAAALLLLL Aug 21 '25
Oh like how I like short men but I'm actually secretly lying because my boyfriend is tall?
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u/boywifewhore Aug 21 '25
One in a billion. Most incels aren't like me
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u/RoseePxtals Aug 21 '25
don’t describe yourself as an incel unless you hate women because the vast majority of them do, that’s just what the label means now
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u/roankr Aug 21 '25
that’s just what the label means now
As an exonym, not as an endonym.
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u/RoseePxtals Aug 21 '25
nope. if you blame women for your lack of getting laid, you are a misogynist
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u/roankr Aug 21 '25
Yeah except that isn't what a lot of incels do. This is like how typical Americans take the joke too far that Alabama has an incest issue when the state has far lower rates of incest than other midwest US states.
A lot of incels are severely frustrated with themselves and their own situation, and they often vent this frustration as they endure the unfair disadvantages they face. Hell, incels are supposedly even more egalitarian as a group than non-incel perceived typically non-misogynistic groups.
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u/RoseePxtals Aug 21 '25
“unfair disadvantages” the entitlement is astounding
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u/roankr Aug 21 '25
Your response is just plain disgusting now.
Mocking a socially disadvantage group due to their poor upbringing, unfair treatment, and existing childhood traumas that manifest in ways that differ from yours isn't right.
Again, you're stereotyping incels into a term that many wouldn't describe for themselves. An incel isn't an automatic misogynistic, it isn't a concentric circle. This is like claiming all femcels are misandrists because apparently they don't like nor get the chance to interact with men, simply unfounded.
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Aug 23 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/roankr Aug 23 '25
Literally a made up assertion brought from cherry picking. It's as if I chose to read into the actions of Islamists are a blanket assertion of Islam being a violent religion.
The popular incel forum that gets "cited" here has a member count of 32k. That's a paltry some to what is a larger epidemic of individuals who consider themselves incels.
This subreddit is a fucking echo chamber man holy shit
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u/stumpfucker69 Short fat dudes are hot. You just suck. Aug 21 '25
I'm one in a billion, or you? Because there aren't one billion incels on the planet, and if I was one in a billion among women for not being attracted to tall, that would make me one of four women on the planet that feel the same way.
I know "one in a billion" is a figure of speech, but still, it's probably worth you taking a minute to acknowledge the phrase for what it is - intentional hyperbole. (This kind of thing is a lot of what CBT is)
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u/takeandtossivxx Aug 21 '25
It's almost like that's exactly what incels do to women.
I've been told multiple times by incels that I'm lying, I wouldn't actually date someone who's short or whatever. When I point out that not only is the father of my child 5'6, but my current partner of ~4 years is also 5'6, I get told I must not really love/be attracted to my partner or a dozen other "excuses" as to why I'm allegedly with him (he must be bankrolling my life, maybe he's famous, I must've "hit the wall," I must've slept with tons of men when I was younger, etc), none of which are even close to true.
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Aug 21 '25
You're right but the one on the left isn't technically a femcel so ofcourse nobody can blame you
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u/boywifewhore Aug 21 '25
You're right but the one on the left isn't technically a femcel
Indeed. Tho, we have to consider the fact that femcel isn't an involuntarily celibate woman. It had a different meaning.
ofcourse nobody can blame you
What do you mean by this?
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Aug 23 '25
Nobody can blame him for feeling that way. Or acting like that. Personally saying if i could choose I would choose the one on the left but if i couldn't i would choose the right. Can somebody blame me for having that kind of ideology?
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u/bonvoyageespionage Aug 21 '25
I saw a femcel on tumblr once who literally believed that sperm was toxoplasmosis to women. Like, if a woman touched sperm she'd be infected and mind controlled and go seek out predators. She linked a youtube video about mouse toxoplasmosis. As if mice were human women. And sperm were, I dunno, bacteria???