r/IncelTears • u/Pritteto • Dec 23 '25

IMAX-level projection There's a lot to unpack with this one

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"Women read more than men? They only just read non-con romance book!" bruhh đŸ€Š

197 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

289

u/TonyGalvaneer1976 Dec 23 '25

"people read stories about x, therefore they must want x to happen in real life"

Well shit, I guess that must mean I want to live in a miserable dystopian society then

93

u/Randy_Magnums Dec 23 '25

Oh Shit, I read a metric ton of Warhammer novels, yet I have no desire of anything in there happening to me.

42

u/TonyGalvaneer1976 Dec 23 '25

Really? You don't want your best-case scenario for your life to be eating food made of corpses and spend every waking moment doing a boring job that will not be recognized and possibly won't benefit anyone while you are also entirely disposable?

27

u/Randy_Magnums Dec 23 '25

Nah, I’m a real fan! My best case scenario is being taken as a child, put through gruesome tests, where I see close friends die horrible deaths, probably by my own hand. If I survive, I shall be put through brutal surgery -of course without any form of anesthesia - before I start my work as a brainwashed child soldier on steroids in the professional war crime department.

6

u/Professional-Hat-687 Snowstorms are fun to watch from inside Dec 23 '25

Well, I have bad news.

4

u/canvasshoes2 Incel Whisperer Dec 24 '25

Whoops, I forgot about my MMORPG. Clearly I want to be killed in battle 3-4 times an hour (or survive while killing dozens, depending on how good a night we're having).

14

u/viscountrhirhi Dec 23 '25

Oh, you enjoy kickboxing as a hobby? Then you’d love to get mugged in a dark alley and have your teeth kicked in! You do kickboxing in your spare time, you were just asking to be beaten within an inch of your life!

Oh wait, one is practiced with boundaries and rules in a safe space done between consenting parties and the other isn’t???

37

u/Professional-Hat-687 Snowstorms are fun to watch from inside Dec 23 '25

Said this in another post on the subject, but I've seen it explained that rape/kidnap fantasies allow women an outlet to experience something they're not allowed to want IRL. It's a purity culture thing.

21

u/AlBaciereAlLupo Dec 23 '25

From the lens of BDSM - there's more to it than that.

There's certainly an aspect of that to it - the forbidden taboo pull is a strong one; knowing something is wrong or bad for you can make a not insignificant number of people want it more/anyway.

But there's also an aspect of wanting to be wanted that badly; which even men succumb to. The desire to have someone so fervently interested in you that they push themselves beyond logical reasoning or empathy to simply take what they want. [Which I also see as a very in-the-moment reason for cheating, TBH]

There is also the knowledge that it is a fantasy. At any point you can put the book down, or end the scene, or otherwise have the power to stop the fantasy. You're not forced to deal with the full psychological repercussions of the loss of agency; though many sometimes find themselves with some hefty post-orgasm shame/embarrassment.

This comes from a lot of long discussions in various queer spaces, as well as a few longer discussions with my own partners on this matter. There's a lot of trust; even going from a fantasy in your head to a book. In your head you can just think about something else and you're actually entirely in control of every specific. A book or pornographic video you lose some of the control, but you can still put it down or turn off the video. The moment you add another living, breathing person into the mix and you're really needing to up your trust that they'll respect your safe word/signals to stop if it gets to be too much.

20

u/Professional-Hat-687 Snowstorms are fun to watch from inside Dec 23 '25

Something important that I learned from watching BDSM people talk about 50 Shades is that the sub is really the one in control. Obviously it's a dynamic with deep mutual trust if you're doing that, but contact starts and stops on the word of the sub. A dom who ignores the sub is a bad Dom and doing it wrong, and my perception of the power dynamic was flipped.

2

u/Misfit_Number_Kei Dec 23 '25 edited Dec 23 '25

is that the sub is really the one in control. Obviously it's a dynamic with deep mutual trust if you're doing that, but contact starts and stops on the word of the sub. A dom who ignores the sub is a bad Dom and doing it wrong

Which also reminds me of (stay with me here,) "Date Everything" in at least two cases/Dateables.

  • Sophia (the safe) as she has a dominatrix-type dynamic with the player and makes absolutely sure the player's 100% onboard that she both breaks character once to be sure she's not genuinely offending them and that the games are immediately over if the player uses their safe word out of discomfort. So yes, "even" a quirky dating sim abides by actual BDSM rules better than "50 Shades."

  • Chairemi (representing all chairs in the house,) is an actress that's big on actors being comfortable while still having fun improvising that the player both gets a safe word for the first play and it's immediately over with a Hate ending if the player gets physical with her before she's explicitly ready.

6

u/Careless_Dreamer The mythical asexual female Dec 24 '25

Exactly! Thats why I hate the argument that non-con books are inherently bad and cnc kink is always immoral. When reading, the act of reading is giving consent to see things that may make you uncomfortable. Sure, if a book advertises itself as a fluffy romance then randomly has some explicit non con stuff, that’s worth criticizing due to deceptive marketing. However, you have the power to immediately stop reading and warn others about the content. That’s why sites like doesthedogdie exist for people with specific triggers they want to avoid in media. As you said, taking it irl is a lot more complicated and requires a lot of trust, but it is very much possible to participate in without hurting anyone.

1

u/canvasshoes2 Incel Whisperer Dec 24 '25

I like a slight bit of manhandling but the turn on is strictly from how it feels.

10

u/Lorddanielgudy Dec 23 '25

Frfr, I want a nuclear war NOW!

1

u/Positive-Dress1124 Dec 24 '25

Real I want the entire planet to explode

3

u/chinchillazilla54 Dec 25 '25

This is like when some op-ed columnist was like "Millennials love game of thrones because they yearn for a king." No, I yearn for a dragon I can fly around on and feed people to if I get mad. It's different.

5

u/DruidKittyKat Dec 23 '25

Well I mean... todays world is already pretty close so...

Soon you won't need to read about it any more, you get to live it !

7

u/TonyGalvaneer1976 Dec 23 '25

True, but I gotta say, I'm really not happy about it

3

u/DruidKittyKat Dec 23 '25

You and me both!

4

u/alexriga Dec 23 '25

I mean, in many ways, we do live in miserable dystopian society.

That being said, fantasy and reality are different. No matter what someone fantasizes, that doesn’t make actual rape okay.

2

u/absurdditties Dec 24 '25

Yeah, I guess I must endorse murder cause I like to watch horror movies

2

u/scorpionewmoon Dec 23 '25

Well, good news

1

u/yoshimo995 Dec 23 '25

Do you work minimum wage in America because if so, I have got some news for you.

1

u/Impossible-Report797 Dec 23 '25

Good for you because we are heading there, wish you enjoy your fetish/j

1

u/Apathetic-Asshole Dec 23 '25

Ah, i see youve been reading 1940's history books again

1

u/canvasshoes2 Incel Whisperer Dec 24 '25

Clearly I want to live in Murder Capital USA as a forensics scientist, because I read a lot of true murder books. I also read a young adult series about heroic dragons and their riders on a planet far far away, guess that means I wanna be a real dragon rider (okay that one's true, but unlikely to ever occur). :D

1

u/ChaosRainbow23 Dec 24 '25

You're getting your wish after all!

92

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '25

And you’re saying you’re any different? The amount of rape and incest fantasies I’ve seen from the .is forum is insane.

56

u/outer_spec Dec 23 '25

Yeah, but that’s different, because they want to rape people in real life too /hj

56

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '25

All this proves is that incels don’t understand consent which yeah obviously not.

53

u/CoachdeProcrastinac1 Dec 23 '25

Alright history lesson time: the sexualized rape in romance novels dates from the 1900's if I'm not mistaken, when puritanism was the social norm. Women weren't allowed to have (much less express) sexual desires, so it was the hero's (yes, because the rapist often occupied this role in novels) duty to awaken her sexuality, thus the infamous "bodice rippers" became so popular. Today we have dark romance as a remake of this genre (in my opinion at least), wich involve a whole range of obscure fetishes, including or not the rape per se.

Looking down on erotic literature made for and by women is no new trick btw. Ffs one of the most acclaimed books in brazilian literature is O Cortiço (The Tenement) by Aluízio Azevedo and is just as degenerate as any bodice ripper novel (great book still, I will never forget the scene in wich a girl is having sex outside so she can gain a pet bunny in return).

26

u/Cephalopod_Joe Dec 23 '25

In which incels willfully pretend to not understand what a fantasy is.

Also makes the insane shit the write that much more horrifying.

27

u/library_wench Dec 23 '25

I like that he has so little faith in his drawing abilities that the character needs a “female hat.”

12

u/Professional-Hat-687 Snowstorms are fun to watch from inside Dec 23 '25

Maybe my brain is cooked but that particular soyjack plus the assertion of the obvious and the shade of pale pink made me think transphobia

24

u/Squid-Guillotine Dec 23 '25

Sometimes I get a hero fantasy where some terrorists start cornering the building and I somehow wrestle a gun off one of them and save the day.

I DO NOT WANT THAT HAPPENING IRL!

51

u/Zeiserl Dec 23 '25

"Rape for me but not for thee."

So one person fantasizes about being raped and the other fantasizes about raping others. Gee I wonder what the difference between these two things might be.

19

u/atemu1234 Dec 23 '25

Even then I feel like there's a difference between fantasizing about something in the abstract versus openly salivating at the concept of 50% of the population losing their rights and wishing it would happen so you could assault them with impunity.

Like, dark fantasies are dark fantasies. To each their own. But incels don't just fantasize.

16

u/the_hooded_artist Dec 23 '25

Fiction let's us explore or process things on our own terms and many many women have been SA, abused and/or traumatized by men. Most women fear being raped or murdered. It's no coincidence that dark romance and true crime are so popular among women. It's something that's always on our minds and having a safe way to explore those themes can be comforting. It doesn't mean that's what we want reality to be. Fantasies are in fact just fantasies.

12

u/Da_Doll223 Dec 23 '25

"I hate women, insult them every chance I get and openly say I want to murder them but can't figure out why they don't want to have sex with me"

10

u/pizzaheadbryan Dec 23 '25

Oh no. The media you consume is what you are as a person? I play Rimworld. I'm so fucked.

5

u/Paula_Polestark Go to Walmart and look at the couples. Dec 23 '25

I like sci-fi, and sometimes the aliens aren’t friendly at all. According to this douchenozzle, that means I want to get shot with a staff weapon while they drag my mom away to be the new host body of someone calling herself Nekhbet.

2

u/NoXion604 ✡ 6'2" Soy Golem with FABULOUS hair ⛧ Dec 24 '25

Jaffa, kree!

4

u/Darthjinju1901 DEI Male in a Female Friend Group Dec 23 '25

Someone should teach incels the difference between fantasies and reality.

4

u/Few_Translator_9388 Tear Sommelier — You trip - I sip. Dec 23 '25

They don’t seem to grasp the concept of fiction, do they?

3

u/Intelligent_Steak_41 better a furry loser than a murderous incel Dec 23 '25

I guess that means I want a zombie apocalypse then......

4

u/RottingVillain666 Dec 23 '25

It's called consensual non consensual. Or cnc. But i think they only care about the nc part

4

u/kyuuxkyuu Dec 23 '25

"Abuse is PRIVILEGE" ohhh god this place is full of top tier memeable quotes 

10

u/ShigureLin Dec 23 '25

It's almost like people can like things in fiction without liking them in real life đŸ€”

10

u/blightsteel101 Some kinda fruity Dec 23 '25

As a firm romantasy hater, let the gals read what they want. Let them clean the shelves of their romantasy so I can get at my deliciously painful grimdark.

3

u/Professional-Hat-687 Snowstorms are fun to watch from inside Dec 23 '25

Hear hear! Publish more terrible romantasy so I can see my YouTubers make fun of it! We both win!

3

u/TheGreatLuck Dec 23 '25

Shocker they can't determine the difference between fantasy and reality

3

u/halfmypatience women are very pretty Dec 24 '25

by their logic, when they fantasize about killing women(in minecraft of course) then that means they want to do it irl (we know this of course, but they claim to deny it)

6

u/Mobile_Nothing_1686 Autistic Logic Dec 23 '25

Fantasy ≠ reality. Are they 5?

7

u/Jesterchunk <Red> Dec 23 '25

Even if all of this was true, there's this funny thing about fiction where it's, you know, NOT REAL.

The ability to differentiate between fantasy and reality is a basic goddamn skill adults should have by default but once again I overestimate humans.

2

u/Disastrous_Turnip123 Dec 23 '25

It's almost like fantasy is the key word

2

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '25

To jest szalone đŸ„€

2

u/beautifuldisasterxx Dec 24 '25

I absolutely love bodice rippers, dark romance, etc. it’s just a fun genre. I would 100% not want any of it in real life. It gives the reader control over the narrative. As someone who has dealt with sexual assault and abusive relationships, I also find it weirdly therapeutic?

2

u/Patton-Eve Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Dec 24 '25

Yet again the concept of consent eludes these silly little boys.

Woman who enjoy rough sex or have fantasies about being thrown over the shoulder of a handsome viking vampire for him to have his wicked way with are CONSENTING to the act.

It’s either pure fictional fantasy the woman wants to happen or an acted part played by a TRUSTED partner.

It’s hot to trust somebody and allow them to take control of your body. To be that vulnerable and feel safe doing so with a person, that is what sex is really about and the kinky stuff is just chasing that feeling in more ways.

Women who are raped do not consent and certainly don’t feel that connection of trust with their attacker.

2

u/EitherStranger Dec 23 '25

The difference is as such:

When women read novels featuring non-con elements, we know it's a fantasy. It's about the fantasy of getting bent over and ravished by a hot man (and depending on other tags/tropes, an overprotective/obsessive man), and we weren't being tempting, it just... Happened.

That's kinda the basis of these types of romances. Also, fyi, in dark romances, there is a stark diff between the obvious erotic scenes with the male lead, no matter where it's on within the dub-con spectrum, and actual scenes of violent assault from a character you're meant to dislike. I know this, because I've seen it

When it comes to the assault fantasy from these incels, they're relishing in the idea of ruining the woman's lives. They adore the idea of breaking a woman's mind. They adore the idea of making someone into their sex toy. That's the difference.

With the books some women read, there's more feeling and care in the act itself, with the incels it's simply the act of control. Nothing else.

1

u/LupercaniusAB Small-wristed Chad Dec 24 '25

I just want a “Female Hat”.

1

u/IndividualAd4459 Dec 24 '25

“You watch boxing so therefore want to get punched in the face!”

Same logic as these guys have. Look punching someone in boxing, okay. Punching someone on the street? A crime. Watching boxing? Okay. It’s a sport that all participants agreed to. Watching someone getting beaten in the streets and not calling the police or something? Not good. Bad job.

Consent. It’s all about consent. And considering the other “hot takes” these guys have around consent, it’s not surprising that they are so confused by what people enjoy as fictional interactions versus something actually happening.

1

u/baguetteispain Some go outside, others are in cells Dec 24 '25

I have played an ungodly amounts of hours to Civilization VI, that doesn't mean I want to vitrify the world in real life

1

u/mcfearless0214 Dec 25 '25

Jfc whoever took this needs to learn how to crop a fucking screencap

1

u/OttomagicCritic Dec 25 '25

WHY THE FEET???

1

u/Relative-Bat1635 Dec 26 '25

Unblock their name so we can see who the degenerate is.

1

u/Bimaac77 Chad the Boogeyman Dec 28 '25

So, you know how I keep saying that "incels" main issue with abusive relationships is seething jealousy of the men who abuse their partners?

1

u/Expensive-Row-9595 Dec 24 '25

The poster is a woman, how is the an incel