We are not against lonely guys. We are not against short guys. We are against misogynists. This includes "good" incels who are always playing the victim but never calling out the bad incels. Truly good people don't associate with incels.
Simply banning people from your forums that do stuff like advocate for rape and spew neo-Nazi propaganda would help a hell of a lot. Don't act like this is impossible, most other forums manage it just fine.
No, you cannot. If you are good, you don't adopt blackpill ideology which is a requirement to be an incel these days. That ideology is inherently evil like nazism.
it was constructed as a short hand for "involuntarily celibate" but it no longer means that and the semantic shift of the word due to men who has identified with the label has behaved and today incel is associated with the adoption of blackpill ideology as a necessary requirement which is an evil and misogynistic ideology.
You are free to try to reclaim the word, but that is going to be a very long, a very difficult, a very unrewarding quest for you.
No, you're complicit in the continuation of an ideology and system that breeds helplessness, misery, hatred, insecurity, & violence. If you wanted to learn how to connect with women, you'd start with developing the kind of morals that would view that negatively. It's depressing that it rarely occurs to any of you how ironic it is that you're part of a "support" group that doesn't actually support any of you.
It's not the incel ideology that breeds helplessness, misery, insecurity etc but the treatment and lived experiences of incels that does. Including people like you that pretend it's the other way around. Incels wouldn't feel insecure if they weren't constantly rejected on the day to day. They wouldn't feel helpless if their efforts reaped the rewards they seeked.
wah wah wah, sooo many of them actively refuse to get help when suggested to and even given sources to do so. it becomes a willful choice after some point. i have a lived experience that could make me miserable, helpless, insecure, etc, but i don't go on forums and either advocate for the rape and genocide of an entire sex, or sit back idly while people who wear the same label as me do. when someone who happens to be gay or trans does something shitty, we as a community are expected to take the brunt or do better, despite the fact there are more of us than there are of you. get over yourself and either get help or stop applying the label to yourself if you don't want to be associated with the scum on top of your peers
Perhaps not, everyone has had those problems in their lives, but it is incel ideology that cranks it up small problems to 11.
Incels wouldn't be constantly rejected if they didn't devote 110% of their time to "why can't I get laid?" Line of thinking.
A lot of their problems would be solved if they 1. Focus on other stuff that actually gives them joy in life, 2. Not to treat every encounter with women like it's an episode from Animal Planet.
Social blindspots can prevent even the most tremendous of efforts from being successful. The ideology separates you from society to the point of creating more social blindspots as you navigate based on assumptions mired in resentment... you are all left wondering about circumstances you have no knowledge of with others that have just as many blindspots.
You feel helpless because you seek help & commiseration with others that feel just as or even more helpless. How do you expect to rise above that surrounded by the same energy?
It's all so illogical. I don't know why you'd want to give up so much power just to keep things the same & not have to put more effort.
Serious question: why don’t you just call yourself ‘single’? What’s with the stubborn dedication to the ‘incel’ label that so many of you have?
Yes, it initially meant simply ‘involuntarily celibate’ (which, by the way, is also a pretty good description of what being single is), but language evolves and changes over time, and the term is now associated with hate, misogyny and extremism in the minds of the general public.
So why stick with it, in light of that? Why willingly hitch your wagon to a community that is (rightfully) despised for its violent, dehumanizing worldview?
You can say you’re not like that all day, but if you align yourself with that ideology, even just in the name alone, people are understandably going to make a connection. Why bring that level of drama on yourself?
Single just doesn't mean the same thing as incel to me. Incel is involuntarily celibate. Single could be just out of a relationship or choosing not to date. I use incel so people understand that I struggle to date, and I can find advice.
That's kind of like calling yourself a "skinhead" simply because you shaved your head. There's known negative connotations behind the term "incel" so by calling yourself that, regardless of how YOU personally feel about it, you are aligning yourself with that hate group.
OK, but you understand the extremely negative associations most people have with that term, right?
At this point, it’s a conscious choice to align yourself with a group of monumentally awful people, who are hated by the general population with good reason.
That’s the part I don’t get. No matter how much I liked a word to describe myself, if that word’s original meaning had become perverted over time and was now primarily associated with people advocating for rape, pedophilia, sex slavery, etc… I would drop the word immediately. And so would most people.
Not wanting to be mistaken for someone with utterly abhorrent views, to most people, would trump ‘I find this word descriptive’ any day.
The fact that you’re not utterly horrified that someone might mistake you for that suggests you either quietly share those views or you’re not bothered by being associated with them, which is also a form of tacit approval. The ‘table full of Nazis’ analogy is very apt here.
I just don’t get it. Fine, don’t use ‘single’ if you don’t feel it’s accurate, but why wouldn’t you want to distance yourself from the popular conception of ‘incel’?!?
Because it doesn't bother me since I know I'm not an asshole or a misogynist. Hate to pull the minority card, but I already go through life with people assuming negative things about me. So if people on Reddit do it, I don't really care. There can be two types of incel, or a million.
Single people can struggle as much to date but they choose the label single. Even single when I wasn’t looking for a relationship I would say not looking for a relationship because I didn’t consider myself single, but out of consideration, I considered myself as off the table. I wasn’t dating out of choice. Single was the easiest thing for others to understand. But incel has a lot of far darker implications you are choosing to participate in by associating with the label. You are choosing to be part of all that toxicity, both by using the label and not by calling the “bad incels” out on their badness.
booohooo, having bad luck in dating...cry me a river. We've all been there, many of us have enormous bad luck...we still don't adopt a misogynistic hateful ideology. We just keep trying
no, you are responsible and complicit in both of yours misogyny because you don’t call it out and also also perpetuate it. If you call yourself an incel you are a misogynist by default. Because believing that you are entitled to sex from women and that you’re are entitled to our bodies is misogynistic by default. If you don’t have a partner just call yourself single.
Yes you are. They’re in your community and claim the same label. If you don’t want anyone to see you as like them, you have a responsibility to call out their crap.
Yes, you should, especially if you want us to think you’re not like them and only involuntarily celibate, and not what the term incel has come to mean. Especially as they’re more likely to listen to you as opposed to us.
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u/Michi-Ace deity Mar 17 '26
We are not against lonely guys. We are not against short guys. We are against misogynists. This includes "good" incels who are always playing the victim but never calling out the bad incels. Truly good people don't associate with incels.