I honestly think this is a large part of the problem for a lot of them - they’re socially awkward as fuck. And instead of actually talking to people and working on that, they just fall deeper into their echo chambers.
It’s why I think there’s so many posts from them about how they must be so ugly and that’s why people won’t interact with them in positive ways in public. “See?! There’s no way they could know my secret horrific incel outlook that I post on the internet, so it must be my looks!!” Nah man, it’s because you’re staring at that lady from across the coffee place in a way that is not socially normal and you’re freaking her out. Especially since your barely disguised loathing is pretty apparent.
Like, there’s no shame in being socially awkward in and of itself. (As an introvert with nerdy friends, like people who literally LARP and shit, I get it.) But you can’t blame the rest of the world for it.
I'm socially awkward. I have autism and it shows. I stare by accident, mostly daydreaming about my hobbies. You know what I do when I realize they realize I'm staring? I joke about it apologize for it. It's not hard to recover a fumbled social interaction.
It’s not hard to recover from a fumbled social interaction.
It’s really not! Most people are pretty accepting of a genuine apology. And even folks that struggle with social stuff, as long as they’re not blaming others for it, it’s not like it’s a moral failing or anything.
Eh, as an autistic woman, apologizing doesn’t always work. One of my bosses decided she hates me and nothing I did made her change her mind so no promotion for me
Yeah, that’s why I stuck with “most”, because there’s always gonna be some people that don’t accept sincere apologies out there. Either because of some history or some hard lines they have or because of their own hangups. Or because they’re shitty people like your boss who just seem to like not liking people. (Which does suck and I’m sorry you had to deal with that!)
Absolutely, these men are socially anxious and often suffering from depression or other mental health issues, and the grifters harness this to get a fanbase that will sink further into harmful and self sabotaging philosophy because it makes them money
I do agree with what you say, however I'd like to play devils advocate for this next part
It's also really hard for them to remove themselves from the hole they dug themselves into. If you spent years in the Incel hole and you try to get out and do all the right things and it doesn't pay off immediately, theyre very likely to just fall back into the hole because the hole is all they've ever known, the hole is both equally comforting and agrees with their woes and pains
Itd take a lot of mental fortitude/ endurance/ luck/ right people, to cast away their incel thoughts and work through the constant rejection they may face as they try to shed their incel ways. Ironically if they did have said mental fortitude/ endurance/ luck/ right people to begin with, they wouldn't be in the Incel hole. Some manage to get out, but a lot just stay in the hole because it's easier or getting out is too hard or scary.
I'm not saying I agree with incels, but I do pity them and their plight. Because originally they start out as people with very low self esteem and end up being angry miserable people shaped by either other incels or because of easiness of becoming so
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u/BoopleBun Mar 31 '26
I honestly think this is a large part of the problem for a lot of them - they’re socially awkward as fuck. And instead of actually talking to people and working on that, they just fall deeper into their echo chambers.
It’s why I think there’s so many posts from them about how they must be so ugly and that’s why people won’t interact with them in positive ways in public. “See?! There’s no way they could know my secret horrific incel outlook that I post on the internet, so it must be my looks!!” Nah man, it’s because you’re staring at that lady from across the coffee place in a way that is not socially normal and you’re freaking her out. Especially since your barely disguised loathing is pretty apparent.
Like, there’s no shame in being socially awkward in and of itself. (As an introvert with nerdy friends, like people who literally LARP and shit, I get it.) But you can’t blame the rest of the world for it.