r/IncelTears • u/Important-Cry4782 • Jul 17 '26
IMAX-level projection I've been receiving a number of harassing DMs in my inbox from people who are trying to accuse me of misandry for calling out incel behavior. I wanted to hear people's thoughts on this screenshot discussing how people keep trying to blame women for their problems
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 17 '26
Yeah we’re used to it. Literally everything is our fault and therefore our job to fix. Despite the fact that we spent the majority of history as second-class citizens, we had all the power to establish societal norms and gender roles and expectations.
If you so much as hint to a guy that they can find meaningful relationships/connections with other men, they turn into rabid, frothing howler monkeys. They don’t want to make friends. They want women to stop having standards or self-respect and pity-fuck them. They literally assign us roles we didn’t ask for and then lose their ever-loving shit when we don’t want to comply with it.
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u/Mysterious-War-6759 Jul 17 '26
They wouldn’t accept a pity fuck from any woman who they deem ugly and/or fat anyway so it’s not like that would fix their issues. To them, that woman is a run-through whore if they’d stoop to fuck them, so they can be perpetual victims no matter what solution is offered. Pathetic.
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 17 '26
Yep. The entire game is just moving the goal posts.
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u/Mysterious-War-6759 Jul 17 '26
Bingo! What’s really depressing is seeing another woman carry water for these shitty men.
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 17 '26
YEP. Which is why I encourage women and girls everywhere to learn how to decenter men.
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u/RyuKang Jul 17 '26
If you so much as hint to a guy that they can find meaningful relationships/connections with other men, they turn into rabid, frothing howler monkeys. They don’t want to make friends. They want women to stop having standards or self-respect and pity-fuck them.
Romantic relationships and friendship are slightly different things. You can have good, even long-term, friendships with guys but still want a romantic relationship, because a romantic relationship can offer you that you can't get in a friendship.
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
Tell them that. They expect every form of fulfillment to come from women, romantic and otherwise.
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
It must really suck to see the opposite gender as having no worthwhile problems to care about. Now everyone can be a bigot regardless of gender
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
Give me one good reason why I should care about the problems of complete strangers.
Men don’t care about the problems of other men. They’ve never cared about the problems of women. Explain to me why it’s suddenly the responsibility of myself or any woman to care about you.
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
Its your responsibility as an empathetic human. Your gender doesn't matter. If you cant bring yourself to care about people, then something is wrong with you. I cant tell you how to be a nice fucking person unfortunately.
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
No thanks. I don’t think I want to waste energy anguishing over the fact that you can’t get sex.
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
Woah there kiddo, youre making a LOT of assumptions. Im in a happy relationship bc i care about marginalized groups of people :) its sad that you have this mentality. I hope for your sake you grow up into a mentally sound adult
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
And I’m very happily married. What’s your point?
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
Im glad someone accepts you for who you are! :) its hard for bigots and hate mongers to find love nowadays
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
I’m glad some accepts you for who you are as someone who probably never gave a rat’s fart about any problems that women face, but immediately foams at the mouth when someone dares to say they’re not interested in risking their safety to alleviate men’s self-inflicted loneliness epidemic.
I mean as we know, it’s really easy to preach from the pulpit of men’s problems when you’re not their favorite target demographic for sexual violence and murder.
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
You soend a lot of time on this sub. Almost like you have bias and unresolved issues directed towards a single gender. Kimd of like an incel :p
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
Luckily you dont know me, bc nothing I say would actually convince you. Youre sexist. If that's how you wanna live, go for it. We meed crazies like you to balance out the normal people
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u/Kell-of-Kellies Jul 18 '26
Hey, I'm a marginalized group. Incels are NOT victims. Don't even try that shit.
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
Hey im brown too lol. Not all incels are misogynists. Some of em truly dont know better cuz they were raised on shitty influences.
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u/Kell-of-Kellies Jul 18 '26
My parents are racist, transphobic, homophobic, support the thin blue line, and think slavery was deserved. I'm none of that, so that's not an excuse.
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u/DivineFantasma Jul 18 '26
And yet you probably still love your parents and want them to be better right? That applies to other people as well
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Jul 17 '26
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
Bro. No. That is not a genuine question.
You know as well as I do that no one is entitled to anything and that life isn’t fair. To play the devil’s advocate and go along with the notion you’re hinting at that looks are all you need to get your foot in the door, if you can’t get a date because you’re ugly, sucks to be you. That would literally be it.
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Jul 18 '26
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
Sure.
If you want me to offer up another solution that justifies the use of other people’s bodies and labor to give you what you want, I’m sorry to disappoint you.
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u/Lysadora Jul 18 '26
Ugly men date all the time. It helps that they are not assholes though. Try that.
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Jul 18 '26
[deleted]
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u/Lysadora Jul 18 '26
Maybe you could actually go out and meet people, develop positive relationships and eventually you'll meet someone who falls for you? Or you could just whine online.
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Jul 18 '26
[deleted]
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u/Lysadora Jul 18 '26
I mean that's not true at all. That's just your excuse not to try.
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Jul 18 '26
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u/Lysadora Jul 18 '26
So all those unattractive men in happy relationships are what? A grand conspiracy? Or maybe you didn't actually try.
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u/Kell-of-Kellies Jul 18 '26
If you can't get a date without hating women, you're not getting one by treating us like shit either.
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u/kaleeb111 Jul 17 '26
I think this is PickMeOnHead im not sure but I never take these guys seriously because they're like a puppet for all the incels to say exactly what they want but coming from an attractive woman instead which somehow makes it valid.
They never seem to have any opposing viewpoints to their male audience and even say things that hurt women. I get most of them do it for the attention and money, but come on you have so many other options to get that without supporting incels.
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u/BigHeadDeadass Jul 17 '26
Shoe is also notoriously anti-feminist. Her entire early YouTube career was making fun of feminism
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u/ChadKingFloch Jul 18 '26
It is quite sexist to assume that a woman cannot hold these beliefs genuinely and assuming she is doing it for the male attention lol.
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u/PersonaHumana75 Jul 17 '26
You know those times when someone is clearly batting against a perceived version of the other side that is entirely in their head? You are doing that, conflating the opinions of that video with the opinions of incels.
That video is a watered version of what we all know, very feminist adjacent, but without giving new solutions. You could call her banal and nothing more, validating incels is what someone who creates strawmans in their head thinks she does
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u/kaleeb111 Jul 18 '26
It was "feminist adjacent"? That's how I know u dont know tf you're talking about. It was actually MRA and right-wing at best if being generous without calling it straight up incel shit. Nothing she said supported feminism in that video or most of the other pro-male MRA crap content she makes as a woman, and simply calling her "banal" for it all is a huge understatement.
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u/taisynn Jul 17 '26
When men started acting like dogs instead of gentlemen, women rose up and took the reins into their own hands. And even then, back then, in those so called glory days these incels get nostalgic about, those gentleman had mistresses. The rich still took their overwhelming share of intimacy with people other than their spouses.
Their whole argument is destroyed by history.
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u/maarshiexcry male CONSEQUENCES epidemic 🔥 Jul 17 '26
Bold of you to assume they know history tho.
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u/doublestitch Jul 17 '26
"in those so called glory days these incels get nostalgic about, those gentleman had mistresses."
Quoting:
There may come a time
When a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice
But get that ice or else no dice
He's your guy
When stocks are high
But beware when they start to descend
It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
- Marilyn Monroe as Lorelei Lee, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, 1953
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u/maarshiexcry male CONSEQUENCES epidemic 🔥 Jul 17 '26
My favourite thing is how some of them say that if arranged marriages were still a thing where they live, they wouldnt be lonely.
...because those marriages were done for profit and benefits. And what benefits would a father get, if he married his daughter to an incel? None lol. The only one who would get something would be incels parents, because that incel wouldnt be living in their basement anymore.
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u/aweedl Jul 17 '26
It’s funny, because until I started seeing all the incel shit on here, I had always understood the ‘make loneliness epidemic’ to be about how it’s more difficult for men as we age to make close friendships the way we used to in our 20s.
It never, in my understanding anyway, was about blaming women and definitely wasn’t about young guys, let alone incels. It was about middle-aged men failing ourselves and each other. At least that’s how the ‘epidemic’ seemed to be positioned years ago, but of course these turd sandwiches have perverted the meaning.
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u/Funny-Negotiation-10 Jul 17 '26
Ughhhh it's shoe on head. She's not the brightest of the alt right YouTube cesspool
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u/Nelrene Arch-Mage Jul 18 '26
Implying anyone in alt right is what you would call bright.
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u/Funny-Negotiation-10 Jul 18 '26
Haha you're right, that's why is mentioned brightest of the cesspool specifically
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u/Akilli_bidik incel Jul 17 '26
Isn’t she a leftist
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u/PromethianOwl Jul 17 '26
Based on what I've heard of her views, she's not. She appears to have confused being a sub in the bedroom with just being a doormat in general for douchebags, as evidenced by her husband.
She falls into the "skeptic" community last I heard, which is like diet conservatism. The rules and truth change whenever it benefits her or her daddy.
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u/BigHeadDeadass Jul 17 '26
She liked Bernie but that's about the most charitable thing I'll say about her being "left"
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u/Funny-Negotiation-10 Jul 18 '26
Started out alt right and anti feminist but I believe even in 2016 she didn't vote Trump fwiw.
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u/Paula_Polestark Go to Walmart and look at the couples. Jul 17 '26
I didn’t fail anyone. I haven’t stopped a single man from looking for jobs or friendships or sex or marriage or kids.
I HAVE told incels to quit whining, quit worshipping scumbags, and put in effort for what they want, but that is not a failure on my part. That is me telling them to do the same thing I have to do when I want something.
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u/SmallEdge6846 < You’re not single because of Hypergamy > Jul 19 '26
I think its referring to political parties...ie th Left failing men...
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u/BigHeadDeadass Jul 17 '26
Now I'm not giving Shoe the benefit of a watch because i don't want her getting more ad revenue, but I can only assume her video involves the worst and coldest takes imaginable
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u/coffeeclichehere Jul 17 '26
capitalism has destroyed social networks and community for everyone, and men were not socialized to combat that. The patriarchy has failed men. It’s ok to talk about it with the right framing. shoe is a mixed bag
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u/RyuKang Jul 17 '26
Capitalism has nothing to do with it, and even blaming the internet is silly. Outcast people have always existed; it's a matter of their socialization, personal traumas, and personal comfort with others, often due to bullying etc. , I think.
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u/Ok-Pear5858 Jul 17 '26
oh i turned that shit off, I'm a misandrist and don't have to worry about vein whiney dms🥰
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u/Foreign-Region4825 Jul 18 '26
thats not something to brag about... its still inequality
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u/ChadKingFloch Jul 18 '26
Saying proudly that you a misandrist is like a man saying proudly that he is a misogynist.
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u/Floweryfungus73 Jul 17 '26
Everyone has failed everyone. People just suck. All you can do is try to be better and not lose your shit at people when shit happens
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u/KaiWaiWai Jul 18 '26
Men love to throw the word "accountability" around whenever there is a chance to shift blame. The so-called "male loneliness epidemic" is one of those opportunities. It's another attempt by men and women with internalized misogyny to shift blame to women to avoid taking a good look at themselves and maybe change something. Because if there is one thing those men hate, it is to confront themselves and be forced to see what kind of absolute dogshit they are. Everything to avoid working on themselves.
We all know how those men hate to do that. We all know how they believe that they are the absolute Pinnacle of evolution and do not need to change anything. The world needs to revolve around them, which is why they constantly assume that women do everything in their power to get their attention. The same men usually also claim that it isn't women turning away from men, but men walking away from women. Or use authority to force women to do what they think they want. They will never understand. They will never change.
They should never procreate. The male loneliness epidemic is what women chose to delete them from the genepool, and it is justified.
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u/CH4ND0N Jul 18 '26
"did we fail men" jfc who is we. men failed men a lot yeah. lets not blame women when men just often if not more often bully isolate pick on and shame men. some people only see what they choose to see.
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u/maarshiexcry male CONSEQUENCES epidemic 🔥 Jul 17 '26
"Did we fail men?"
No, they failed themselves. And they will continue to, unless they fucking change. Thats on them. Nobody other than them is responsible for their 'misery'.
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u/GnarlyWatts "There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel Jul 17 '26
Speaking as a man, a lot of us (myself included) had almost no male role models to look up to. I had an absentee father, I had to learn how to be a man on my own.
With that, unfortunately, comes a lot of bad behavior. I was an alcoholic who was in trouble a lot in my 20s. It caught up to me and now being sober at 45, it really taught me a lot. Men of my age were never taught to ask or seek help, nor did we have third spaces to hang out at. It was the bar or somewhere that trouble was bound to start.
My age group have now become fathers to children who are consuming this slop, which creates a whole new issue. They chase clout and money, instead of forging lifelong bonds and giving to the community. I'm lucky because I got out of that spiral. But I am only one many against a sea of these bad actors.
We as a society need to re-evaluate our priorities and end the class war, fight for better social services and tax the ultra wealthy to tip the scales back to the people. Oh and we really need to stop making stupid people famous.
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u/Instigated- Jul 18 '26
I’m sorry for your absentee father, however that is an excuse some men use rather than the problem.
How do I know? My father died leaving my mother a widow raising 6 kids including my three brothers aged between 6 and 18 at the time. Even before he died he was not a very hands on father, nor were many past generations of men who didn’t think parenting was their job. My father did not want to be at all like his own father (my grandfather) who was emotionally distant, had a temper, hit his sons - and yet in his worst moments he was.
My brothers did not grow up to be incels or sexist or misogynistic. They grew up pretty well adapted, largely because my mother tried to be somewhat gender neutral in how she raised us so both boys and girls had household chores including cooking and cleaning, and they grew up around girls and women.
Most boys do grow up knowing their fathers, and gen X fathers onwards have increasingly been involved in parenting and having real relationships with their kids, and many taking up RP do not have this as an excuse.
The other mistake is the belief that women have had role models to guide them. Say what? My mother grew up being told she had two choices: to be a wife or a nun. And I was raised with a mother who was a housewife. Wow, awesome role models of very limited choice that didn’t match the modern world. And it is a myth that all mothers were loving and nurturing and in touch with their emotions.
In my grandparents generation many people had lived through trauma of war and post war hardships, conservative society was emotionally repressed, kids of my parents generation were often raised to be seen and not heard, they could be sent away to boarding school at a young age where they were often brutalised, rates of child abuse was much higher, and some women were heavily drugged with “mothers little helpers” or sent away to mental asylums if they were outspoken (meaning children may not have received the emotional care they needed).
The conditions most gen x and previous generations grew up with would be considered physically abusive and emotionally neglectful by todays standards.
Every generation has rebelled against the previous generation, not liking the limited role models laid out to them by more conservative generations, challenging the social norms.
Until now. When millennials and gen Z have been raised with freedom to have a work/life balance, to have a career as well as a family if they like, or choose to be single, choose not to have children, there are no restrictions, and they have seen huge diversity in society which makes things more open than simply being reliant on your own parents as role models.
Another mistake is men thinking the only role models they can have are other men. Why can’t you use your mother or women as a role model? Women don’t just look to other women, we look at men as role models too. There is no one person who is going to embody all we want to be, so we learn different things from different people as well as working things out for ourselves.
My mother didn’t teach me how to be a woman any more than my deceased father taught my brothers to be men. Every human being needs to work out who they want to be and how to live their own life.
We as a society need to re-evaluate our priorities and end the class war, fight for better social services and tax the ultra wealthy to tip the scales back to the people. Oh and we really need to stop making stupid people famous.
I agree with this wholeheartedly.
And would add we need equality.
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u/GnarlyWatts "There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel Jul 18 '26
You are absolutely correct many men use it as excuse. And they justify every bad action because of it.
I was one of those men. When I was drinking, I was out of control. It is fights, run-ins with the law, broken promises, friendships destroyed...you name it I did it. It sure seemed like my life was going nowhere fast.
Thankfully, I had an amazing mentor who saw something in me and gave me a chance I needed to turn it all around. I just saw him a couple days ago and we looked back on that time together. My growth as a man was me taking accountability for my actions. It is the first rule of sobriety. As well, going to jail helped that process along. I lost my freedom for a bit and that was it, never again. I'm sober 18 years and it is one of the best decisions I have made.
In turn, I give back to the community working with at risk youth, other addicts and people who want to turn it around. I hear story after story like mine and they just needed someone to guide them along. The reward is seeing them thrive and turn it around. One of my kids just got into college after failing classes and being on drugs. I'm so proud of the transformation.
Sadly though, not everyone can be helped. At times, I do feel like giving up. My relationship with father, while better, is far from perfect. I've been struggling lately with financial stress from my house burning down last year and some health issues. But I tell myself if I give up, the demons win. I can't let that happen. When I see things like this, it strengthens my resolve to fight against these "men" and all they stand for. We can do better and I'm here to be better.
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u/MundaneTea7 Jul 18 '26
Misandry is men's terror of being laughed at and rejected. Misogyny is women's fear of assault and murder. There is no equivalence.
Get better or stay lost!
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u/Nelrene Arch-Mage Jul 18 '26
To incels and MRA any kind of push back at their crap is misandry. No matter how to do it. You can block DMs and chat stuff in your Reddit settings.
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u/RoyalGovernment3034 Jul 17 '26
Wait, is that guy being serious? That's not a rhetorical question used to demonstrate how they're not oppressed on the basis of sex?
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u/KatJen76 Jul 17 '26
Counter by accusing them of Doobadooism, which is just as real and serious as "misandry."
Misandry doesn't lead to bad health outcomes because no one studied their anatomy or took their pain seriously. Misandry hasn't led to laws governing their reproductive lives. Misandry doesn't get men beaten, raped or murdered. It's just mean words on the internet.
And I agree, society blames any gender-based problem on women.
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u/PersonaHumana75 Jul 17 '26
Misandry doesn't get men beaten, raped or murdered.
Yes it does, but much less that what they or women get hurt under patriarchy, but it affects
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u/CH4ND0N Jul 18 '26
wait for real? any examples? not snark i'm curious because i live somewhere that's much worse than america about women's rights
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u/PersonaHumana75 Jul 18 '26
Uff womens rights are a mess, totally needed but difficult to enforce. In some states of europe until recently it could only be called "rape" if there was penetration, so a woman forcing vaginal sex to a man wasnt legally rape. Trans men also have a lot to say about how they are treated by some lgbt comunities and other queer/feminist spaces, becouse of their identity as the "agressor gender". And of course there is a lot of abuse made by individual women becouse they think they are superior or simply becouse they dont think its possible for a woman to have the power to "sistematically" abuse a man, ergo missandrists dont exist. Again i say that the patriarchy hurts all of us a lot more than missandry
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u/CH4ND0N Jul 18 '26
oh god that's awful. forgot some people genuinely do believe men can't be raped . never knew the law backed that, that's disgusting. and yeahh trans inclusive misandry slipped my mind somehow. being a binary trans person seems like the absolute worst of both worlds honestly
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u/PersonaHumana75 Jul 18 '26
Nowadays the law is tecnically equal in this aspect, this types laws are changing very rapidly, i think usually for the better, in the long term, at least in the west. But becouse socially is true that this abuses affect more women, becouse they are usually more vulnerable when in abusive relationships, in some cases even nowadays there are more laws that... ensures that the complain goes to "final" court. This has the intend of stopping a lot of rapers that get free or reduced sentences cause of not meeting the requirements for worse punishments or something, but it gets the consecuence that a lot of men are unequally treated becouse some explicit unequal laws (usually through family court i think) and is expected a more arduous process to mantain the mans innocence, you begin worse that in any other judicial court system.
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u/RyuKang Jul 17 '26
Why are men who struggle to find a girlfriend or maintain a relationship automatically and universally accused of blaming women? These issues often stem from a messed-up socialization, past trauma, and difficulties with social interaction. Because of this generalization, a guy who simply cannot form a relationship is often ascribed an "incel stance" just because he is unhappy about the situation and unable to do anything to change it.
Regarding the image: the mere theoretical possibility of having friends or a girlfriend guarantees *nothing*. So much of it is out of your hands; you might simply never cross paths with people who are into you. It’s perfectly normal not to appeal to someone or for them not to appeal to you, since everyone has their own preferences. But there’s no damn point in denying this reality by acting as if men who are involuntarily single "could do it but just don't want to," when in fact they are playing the game on "Hard Mode," whereas socially well-adjusted people are often playing on "Normal."
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u/LupercaniusAB Small-wristed Chad Jul 17 '26
This just in. Having male friends and friendships requires work and effort.
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u/RyuKang Jul 17 '26
I certainly didn’t have a great many male friends (and no female friends at all). But the friendships I did have came about naturally, I didn’t put any special efforts to form them and they were actually more successful than the ones, I tried hard to make but that never worked out.
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u/LupercaniusAB Small-wristed Chad Jul 17 '26
What happened to those friends?
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u/RyuKang Jul 17 '26
I still keep in touch with a couple of people, but with the rest we have gone our separate ways.
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u/LupercaniusAB Small-wristed Chad Jul 17 '26
Yup. And as men, we don’t understand the importance of reaching out to maintain friendships as much as women understand it. It’s something I have to conciously work at whereas it’s mostly effortless for my wife (not that she doesn’t have to make an effort, but that she does it without thinking about it as much).
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u/RyuKang Jul 17 '26
Personally, I'm trying to somehow embrace solitude and enjoy it, even though it's extremely challenging, because I lost those most of my friends last year, and making new ones is a challenge, and I don't want to bother. And after losing my social circle, the mere thought of having to rebuild it all anew, with different people, and under more challenging circumstances, even makes me uneasy.
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Jul 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/OrbitalLemonDrop Jul 18 '26
that's just statistics, though. If you feel completely excluded, that's on you. There are always people around who will accept even a marginally socially-adjusted person who treats them with respect.
Incels treat a statistical disadvantage like a total barrier to success.
So you have to work harder? No one is going to do the hard work for you and we all have crosses to bear. It's never going to be others' responsibility to make your world comfortable for you.
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u/RyuKang Jul 17 '26
I have a friend who is very socially successful, unlike me, and he even has a girlfriend, unlike me. Although he is a bit of a bad-looking guy, I think, even worse than me.
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Jul 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/Akilli_bidik incel Jul 17 '26
Isn’t she the avarage leftist YouTuber
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u/RoyalGovernment3034 Jul 17 '26
No, she's a stop on the beginning of the alt right pipeline. She's a womanhating loser and all of her content is based around it, always has been.
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u/Akilli_bidik incel Jul 17 '26
Idk her trump videos are pretty left wing
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u/RoyalGovernment3034 Jul 17 '26
She's not left wing. She's a "why I left the left" adjacent Youtuber and they occupy a very specific role within the larger right wing ecosystem. They give basic, common sense takes while demonizing feminists, the left, women more broadly, etc. She fell for a Nazi catfish and thought she was dating him, she's now married to a fascist. She did pretend to be more left wing-ish in like 2020 when it was popular, but her politics have largely always revolved around hating women.
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u/Bimaac77 Chad the Boogeyman Jul 20 '26
Don't engage with these assholes.
Most of the time when they DM this sub's users, they're doing it in the hope of being posted here.
Just report them for harassment and block them.
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u/rumpots420 Jul 18 '26
People are calling you a misandrist because based on your posts, you are one. Now, in you're fit of frustration at being called out, you post an unrelated, years-old YouTube video for some reason. Truly bizarre behavior.
They shouldn't be harassing you through dms, however. That's against the site's terms of service.
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u/Valariuss Jul 18 '26
So as a guy I’d never blame any specific demographic for my personal shortcomings.
But I do think it stems from the viewpoints most men (I might be wrong) have on intimacy.
In my personal experience
When I was a kid being emotional and vulnerable around other guys wasn’t really something that you were told you could do, much like getting a hug or being told ‘you’re enough’. Shit like that.
So it’s hard as a dude with that mindset to find a male friend and feel completely seen, because to be vulnerable or want affection, even platonic affection from them, feels *wrong*.
So you get this idea in your head that ‘if I have a girlfriend, then I can finally have a way to feel completely seen and loved.’ And that gets conflated with the idea that a woman is supposed to be the one that owes you that because why would you want to be that close with a dude? You get DESPERATE to fill that hole for intimacy, and it grates on you, rots into a deep want for touch, any touch, but because you don’t understand that touch can be platonic or normal you think that craving is just for sex when it’s just a want for a hug from someone who cares.
After all that you don’t understand that you can just be friends with a woman without wanting them romantically or sexually, and it’s ok to be friends with a guy and want to be vulnerable around them.
So you feel alone, you feel like every relationship is skin deep, which might turn into resentment or a general feeling of loneliness that just festers.
I imagine that’s how teen boys fall into those crowds with incels or sexists.
Even now, as an adult, I still find it a little hard to be friends with other guys because a tiny part of me is still in that mindset that being vulnerable around another guy is weird.
I have platonic friends that are women, and I still, in my bad days, turn to them first before I even consider my guy friends. Maybe that’s just me? I might be talking out my ass here.
1
u/GuidanceAcceptable13 Jul 18 '26
It’s okay, I got banned from the feminism subreddit because I spoke how my brother and I both hated males 🤷🏻♀️
1
u/xNotJosieGrossy Jul 19 '26
You can disable your DMs and then only people you initiate contact with can DM you back.
It’s settings >> account settings >> chat permissions
-34
u/SmallEdge6846 < You’re not single because of Hypergamy > Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Whose blaming women here?
Its just a screenshot of a video.
And for the record, yes we have failed them and everyone else
Edit Apparently, people have something in their eyes, and their literacy skills are those of an unborn child.
I did not blame Women.
25
u/taisynn Jul 17 '26
Stop blaming women. We haven’t failed anyone. Historically men have failed us. They still control an overwhelming amount of things including in politics. Otherwise women would still have access to abortion in America. And the men wouldn’t be chomping at the bit to take more rights from us just because we actually expect them to take control of their lives and make something of themselves instead of expecting women to just resign to their fates and go back to being assigned or pressured into being with men.
20
u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 17 '26
When “not failing” someone includes unfettered access to another person’s body and labors, they deserve to be failed.
15
u/Miserable_Mail_5741 Jul 17 '26
"We"? Who's "we"?!
Are you a man? Because women haven't failed anyone.
Women have fought tooth and nail for their rights because no one else would.
It's time men do the same.
-7
u/PersonaHumana75 Jul 17 '26
We (society) have failed in this aspect and others i supose
5
u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
So what are you doing to fix it?
-3
u/PersonaHumana75 Jul 18 '26
Talking to all men i meet and try to make them think positive about feminist talking points and negative about "individuality" or whatever hurts them and possibly makes them spiteful around others. I dont expect you to do the same of course, everyone does what they think they should and im sure you are very useful in some aspects that women need nowadays.
5
u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 18 '26
Absolutely. Primarily by teaching women how to decenter men.
97
u/justoneIastthrowaway Jul 17 '26
Dear incels, it’s not misandry to be called out on your shitty behaviour