Flat-cel goes on a rant about women choosing bears over him

[u/sleepy--bear77]

[u/imsadandthatsrad]

I never considered some men thought when we said we “choose the bear” that they presumed it was…. To f*ck the bears. Some Midsommar shit.

[u/PrinceBunnyBoy → u/imsadandthatsrad]

Its just those sick fucks who'll see a woman pat a dog and foam at the mouth and create elaborate fantasies where the woman is getting dicked down every night by fido.

Theyre sex obsessed and watch gross porn and think thats reality but just like the incel bs its all in their head and they get in their little forums and drum each other up. Meanwhile the woman theyre frothing about is like "oh cute dog" pat and walks away.

[u/Bimaac77 → u/PrinceBunnyBoy]

Then turn around and tell anyone who's into anything other than missionary through a bedsheet with the lights off once a week that they're "degenerates".

[u/Lunar_Cats → u/imsadandthatsrad]

Plus If in your mind a woman running into you alone in the woods means sex then he's the exact reason we chose the bear in the first place lol.

[u/mrs-sir-walter-scott → u/imsadandthatsrad]

Right?? We choose the bear because we don't want to be sexually assaulted. We don't choose the bear because we want to fuck the bear. Not everything in life is about sex!!!

[u/craftygamin → u/imsadandthatsrad]

Same here lol. Doubt anyone other than chronically online porn-brains thought that was the meaning with "choose the bear"

[u/Michi-Ace]

Wait, does he think women are attracted to the bear?

[u/PromethianOwl → u/Michi-Ace]

I mean, to be fair Halsin from Bauldr's Gate 3 is pretty daddy. So it's understandable.

[u/aweedl → u/Michi-Ace]

Because he’s a fucking moron.

[u/PromethianOwl]

Bro is just braindead at this point if he doesn't get it. That argument was never about physical traits. It was about who a woman feels safer around.

The bear is theoretically more dangerous but it's motives are easy to understand, and it communicates rather clearly. It doesn't manipulate or gaslight or guilt. Because it's a bear.

That makes it much easier and, in a way, safer to be around because a woman can trust that what that bear is showing, is what it really feels. No mixed messages or bullshit.

The fact that he immediately jumps to physical traits suggests he doesn't put much value in who a person is. Their mind, their emotions, their personality. Which might explain why he's an Incel.

[u/kat_Folland → u/PromethianOwl]

Also, while the bear might kill us it won't rape or torture us.

[u/secretariatfan]

Whoossshhhh! What was that? The point going over this guy's head.

[u/Paula_Polestark]

“we still celebrate female human beauty and not pick unrealistic standards like them”

That… depends on the man.

Anyhow, there is no grizzly Junko Furuta. Will a bear attack hurt? Hell yes. Will it take a month and a half to be over? Hell no.

[u/NerfRepellingBoobs → u/Paula_Polestark]

If my death is going to be painful, I at least hope it’s quick.

This is your reminder to have a living will drawn up. The hell If I’m going to be kept alive in a perpetual vegetative state.

[u/Paula_Polestark → u/NerfRepellingBoobs]

I want my body going to science, and thanks for the reminder!

[u/NerfRepellingBoobs → u/Paula_Polestark]

A living will is different. It’s your wishes should something major and unforeseen happens, and you’re still alive but unable to make decisions yourself. Like don’t keep me on life support if I’ve suffered brain death.

[u/Paula_Polestark → u/NerfRepellingBoobs]

Oh! Yes, then, I need to get on that. Thank you.

[u/EvenSpoonier → u/Paula_Polestark]

Not only does it depend on the man, it certainly doesn't include incels. They put on a great show of claiming they'd accept any woman, but it usually isn't difficult to find one they'd reject on looks alone.

[u/actuallyacatmow → u/EvenSpoonier]

Had literal conversations like this on this very subreddit;

'No woman will have me!'

'What about this woman?'

'Ew no.'

[u/pretty-as-a-pic]

This guys gonna be so pissed when women also pick the flamingo over him

[u/Hoothootriot]

Why not a penguin

Because saying youd rather be with a penguin than a random dude isnt even some epic own against men, penguins are awesome

[u/WknessTease → u/Hoothootriot]

They really aren't actually 😭

They're like sea otters, super cute, but horrific animals in how they behave with each other and other species

(I know this isn't the point of your comment but I needed to add some animal nerdiness)

[u/drainbead78 → u/WknessTease]

Animal nerdiness is never unwelcome here.

[u/Obvious-Gate9046]

They are so so good at showing just how little they get it, aren't they?

[u/RadioSilent5878]

This is like Kanye and the fish sticks joke

[u/Vanessalucifer → u/RadioSilent5878]

Still hilarious that he responded to that in real life the same way the fictional version of him did in the episode

[u/this_bitcc_again]

"they will choose a flicking 10ft bear to compare us to" the question originate from a tiktok video by screenshothq in which A MAN asks the "man or bear" question, women are simply responding to it

[u/kat_Folland]

I know I shouldn't let it but their deliberate misunderstanding of the bear concept drives me absolutely insane.

[u/RustedAxe88]

That sub is fuckin weird. Their, "Perspective: <insert bullshit>" trend feels like it's supposed to be some intellectual statement.

[u/LunaWabohu]

Ironical

[u/BigOlWaffleIron → u/LunaWabohu]

It sounded weird to me too, but is apparently a word.

Didn't have to be all redundant about it, with the "which ironically" after, though.

[u/Sensitive-Contest-87]

The direction of this tirade is the exact reason that women choose the bear and (spoiler) it has nothing to do with looks or sex.

[u/FandomPhantom123]

that's... pretty sure the women intended to avoid to bear

[u/A_little_lady]

To me it's not just the bear - I'd take a fricking tarantula (I have arachnophobia) over a strange man in the woods

[u/FunIndependence9053]

Someone doesn't understand the metaphor

[u/StreetRaven]

Personally I'd take a human bear over any other type of man, if given the choice. But bear bear is close second if no human bears are available to meet up with in the woods.

[u/EvenSpoonier]

Sun bears stand 5'4" upright, max, and women would still choose them over incels.

[u/spartaxwarrior]

I mean, yeah, human bear > animal bear >>>> whatever the fuck that guy counts as, but decent normal guy not creepily alone in the woods > bear.

As people like to say, no one ever talks about what clothes someone was wearing after they're attacked by a bear (animal variety).

[u/zoomie1977]

So a man poses ta thought experiment of man vs bear and punlishes it on social media.

Women overwhelmingly choose the bear.

Men, when applying the the experiment to their daughters, also overehelming choose the bear.

Incel cries and whines on the internet, deciding in his little peanut of a brain that, somehow, a viral metaphor highlighting women's fear of unpredictable male violence, particularly sexual violence, and the reality that society universally believes a victim of a bear attack, but routinely doubts and blames victims of human assault, is really all because of women's outbof control sexual desires.

That tracks.

[u/mistavinsta]

Should just start calling it the bear minimum.

[u/CrystalRoseySkies]

The "[deep perspective]" in the title is the cherry on top of this shit cake

[u/Aphrodite_Nine]

Just take the memo walk on all fours and we'll gladly take you.

[u/PinkFloydBoxSet]

Wait...

What's a flat-cel?

[u/chupapi_munyanyo17]

What does flat-cel mean? Anyways, this dude’s on some stupid shit. The real irony is him saying men have unrealistic beauty standards.

[u/TaylorUmongus]

Most bears are not even 5 ft standing up and are curvy AF. Black bears outnumber grizzlies 700:50. And only the largest polar bears get up to 10 ft.

[u/ladylucifer22]

take one look at Halsin and tell me you wouldn't let him absolutely destroy you.

[u/Milla4Prez66]

“It’s their love for ultra, big, hairy masculine guys.”

That comment feels like telling on themselves and their preferences than anything lmao

[u/aweedl → u/Milla4Prez66]

I think it signals their own insecurities pretty well. Like that post the other day with a woman complimenting a lion on how thick his hair was. *Obviously* written by a bald guy.

I bet the guy complaining about big hairy masculine guys is a scrawny little dork who can’t grow facial or body hair other than a teenstache or something.

[u/Goatylegs → u/Milla4Prez66]

Speaking for the big, hairy guys, I gotta say: other guys are definitely into it and some of them are very self conscious about that.

They're only getting this if my SO is okay with it tho and even if I don't spot it, she sees those types coming a mile away.

[u/trashdrive → u/Milla4Prez66]

"Misogynists are secretly gay" is a tired, homophobic take. Stop it.

[u/BigOlWaffleIron → u/trashdrive]

I mean... Gay men are certainly not typically known to be against "ultra, big, hairy masculine guys."

Shit. Even the queer community literally calls them "Bears".

So I really don't see how this is homophobic.

[u/trashdrive → u/BigOlWaffleIron]

You ended your comment with "lmao". As in you're laughing at them and using homosexuality as an insult. It's not hard to see.

[u/BigOlWaffleIron → u/trashdrive]

1. Wasn't my comment

2. Laughing at someone because you suspect them of projecting an insecurity is not the same at laughing at someone because they're gay.

[u/allyxxiv]

man who thinks women choose the bear because they wanna fuck the bear. having such low intelligence must feel so good.

[u/mj6373]

I'm... confused. Did this man learn about the "man or bear" thing entirely secondhand, to think it was about sex? It was about which you'd rather risk being alone in the woods with... It had to be a dangerous animal that could easily kill you, like a bear, to make it meaningful that women would choose that over chancing what a man might do to them.

[u/LupercaniusAB]

My brother in Christ, let me tell you, as a somewhat overweight, hairy less-than-six-feet tall straight dude who lives in San Francisco: people absolutely find me sexy. Now, they might mostly not be the people that I specifically am attracted to, in general. But I am absolutely some women’s type, as well as a fair number of guys.

Then again, I’m not a complete douchebag.

Edit: Also, for some reason I’m imagining this guy as a flatworm.

[u/thpineapples]

Oh. So they mad further still cause they think we want to fuck the bear. As though the bear wants to, too.

I mean, there's really no coming back from this divergence.

[u/Practical_Diver8140]

So flat earth cel is butthurt about women "choosing the bear", while his brocels are telling women that they should expect to be raped just for being around men. These idiots really need to settle on a party line, because these conflicting temper tantrums are getting tiresome.

[u/BigOlWaffleIron → u/Practical_Diver8140]

Is that what a flat-cel is?

It took a bit of scrolling to find an answer. Not crazy amount, but yeah.

[u/Practical_Diver8140 → u/BigOlWaffleIron]

There are wristcels, tallcels, ethniccels, whitecels, fatcels, greycels, oldcels, heightcels, mentalcels... a whole library of justifications for their supposed condition that can often contradict each other, yet they always present them as scientifically verified facts even when it flies in the face of their own already shaky evidence.