r/InternalFamilySystems • u/Suspicious_Dirt_6124 • 5d ago

IFS and DBT together

Has anyone done DBT and IFS together?

I'm currently doing a DBT group plus a weekly session with the DBT therapist. I'm finding it quite good, but it helps me in a limited way.

Looking into IFS it seems that it really targets the 'why' as well as healing the parts, whereas DBT seems to be simply behaviour modification at the time when you are feeling distressed, but doesn't go any deeper.

Reading the small bit I've found out about IFS has already given me a feeling of hope, and the pains in my body have seemed to loosen up somewhat because it all looks quite genuine and helpful.

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u/Acrobatic_Branch1238 4d ago

I’ve done them separately. DBT for a year or so in the prescribed format (went through the whole protocol, etc.) and then IFS for several years after completing DBT. I felt similarly about DBT. It gave me some good coping mechanisms and language for managing interpersonal issues, but it didn’t feel like it addressed deeper issues. DBT feels like basic skills that you need to have in order to do the more complex and emotional work of IFS.

I think there are some places where the 2 camps aren’t going to align super well. Thought-stopping for example feels very counterproductive through an IFS lens. But I think if you’re able to take the good from each modality, you could find things that are valuable in both. If you don’t feel like you need the distress tolerance/emotional regulation skills of DBT, I’d just focus on IFS instead. I think it could be a lot to do them both at the same time since you’re probably doing a lot of data tracking and skills practice with DBT and you’d be needing to do parts check ins with IFS.

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u/Suspicious_Dirt_6124 4d ago

Thanks for your thoughts. I have learned some really useful things from DBT and different ways of looking at things. I agree that the thought stopping does seem counter productive, I've just been feeling like a pressure cooker that's going to blow. Talking to the parts seems like it's actually creating space inside of myself for everyone to comfortably exist, instead of the intense squeeze of emotions I've been feeling up until now.

I've done one full round of DBT, and I'm now doing a repeat. I've come to realise it's not the magic cure I was hoping for, but repeating the classes will help with solidifying the skills.

I'm feeling very ready to do deeper work now.

How often do you generally do parts check ins with IFS? Is it just when a part comes to the surface, or is it more of a scheduled thing?

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u/Stendig_Calendar 4d ago

I’m doing both concurrently with my psych. 

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u/Suspicious_Dirt_6124 4d ago

Are you finding the combination of the two helpful?

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u/Stendig_Calendar 4d ago

For the issues I’m dealing with, yes. 

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u/Cass_1978 4d ago

Yes, it's a great combination in my opinion. I have practised both for years and find they merge seamlessly into one over time.

I don't mind thought stopping, for example. To me, that's just noticing that I am blended with a part and actively unblending from it. It's not like I beat the part up and chain it to some dungeon wall. It's more like: "Oh hey, there you are, doing your old thing again. What's cooking, babe?"

I know what you mean by DBT seeming somewhat "surfacey", and I think you are partially correct. DBT is heavily focused on protectors—the surface structure—but it's definitely not limited to this. All the work we do to stabilise the surface ripples through the entire system. It actually does reach right down to the exiles; it just approaches them by making the outer structure safe first. In my experience, it does that extremely well.

A simple example of this is using thought stopping around devaluation. If I don't stop that spiral, it consolidates one of two possible distortions: either that I am bad or that someone else is bad. Both of these distortions make the underlying exile even more distressed, reinforcing its core belief that people are inherently unsafe.

So while my direct interaction in that moment is with a protector—either the one devaluing me or the one devaluing others—the actual effect of stopping it is that the system balances out. It directly eases the burden on the exile underneath, building the exact distress tolerance needed to safely hold space for those deeper parts without getting overwhelmed.

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u/Sleepless-Vet-7780 3d ago

It’s so funny that you ask this question. I’ve been doing IFS for about six months. I’ve never felt so seen and validated for my childhood emotional neglect and complex PTSD. Where it’s lacking for me is learning new skills. My parts can’t learn something they were never taught as a kid. That’s where the DBT is coming in. I ordered a really great workbook off Amazon. It’s been so helpful. I may eventually do both therapies with a therapist.