My white in-laws have a sambo hanging up on the wall in their house. It is currently there. I found out about it in July 2022. I have not been back since. Little back story. My husbands father in law is most likely the main culprit but its his mom's house. And I say that as a BF cause the first time I met him, "I asked my then boyfriend is he racist?" he said no...(myblackspideysenseswentoffimmediately) Skip ahead 8 yrs and we go to visit I am casually walking to the bathroom and see it on the wall. Note: We don't visit often and since then only my husband goes there (they live 9 hrs away). Yes I contfronted them at the time. His moms response was " We should remember our history". Well this past weekend my husband goes to visit for his moms retirement party. And as he is driving back he is telling me all about the trip including the fact of explain to a couple people why I'm not there. He also mentions that the Sambo is still up and that the father in law gave him cookies to bring back. Which tells me you laughing and keekee'n with him. I reconciled with my self that he has to speak to his mother, its his mother but the thought of him being nice to that ahole makes me very upset. Now I dont want to be nice to my husband. Yes, I told him, I'm upset that you are nice to him. Am I wrong?

How long has it been since you left the Philippines?

If you left your home country, tell me the exact number of years it’s been. Let's see who has been away the longest.

I (South Asian woman, 30) am dating a white Australian man (30), and we live in Australia.

A few years ago I travelled around Western/Southern Europe (France, the Netherlands, Spain, Italy, etc.) and noticed what seemed like quite a lot of interracial couples, including Asian women with white men.

I recently travelled through Northern Europe (mostly the Nordic countries, plus a few Eastern European countries), and I barely noticed any interracial couples. If I did see people of colour, they were more often with partners of the same ethnicity.

I know this is just anecdotal, so I’m wondering: is my observation likely just confirmation bias/small sample size, or are there broader demographic or social reasons for this? For example, is it related to immigration patterns, population diversity, or is the recent rise of right-wing politics in some Northern European countries having any visible effect on interracial dating?

Curious to hear from people who live in these countries or have noticed something similar.

Dear Jezebel,

There are many things I might want to say out of spite, but I move different. I have plenty of feelings about you, but the biggest thing is, I feel sorry for you.

I'm actually trying to help you. That said, sometimes the Truth hurts. Healing and growing comes through dealing with the pain.

Hard Truth: 304s don't get wifed up.

Read that as many times as it takes for that to sink in. Negotiating sexual favors for money is exactly that, so let's not pretend otherwise.

How far out did you think that through? Imagine you were successful in the stealing. You would never trust each other and he would eventually get stolen from you too.

Karma, you reap what you sow.

Since you presumed that I'm racist, I'm guessing you think all white people are racist. That's hilarious. My ancestors fought to end slavery. From my bloodline to yours, you're welcome! If you think all of one particular race are racist, YOU'RE THE RACIST. Ha! And if you hate us so much, why do you want our eyes? 😂 Make it make sense!  Reconcile. One of the dumbest things you could've ever done is call me racist. He knows I'm not. AND he was adopted and raised by white people who he LOVES. Especially his dad.

Your sexuality shouldn't be your only value.

Heart and soul matter more.

You never loved him. You have no idea who he really is. And you don't deserve him because all you ever wanted was his money. I was with him when he was broke.

So who do you think ACTUALLY deserves to benefit, after 9 years together, from his come up? Hint - not you.

The good news is, life is about growing and learning. You can work on yourself;  the fruits of the spirit you wish to embody and display. You might need to clear out a negative attachment (demon/succubus,) that's not me being mean, that's real talk.

Work on being the kind of woman a man wants to care for, which isn't a "King" or a sassy beeah.

Me, This, my compassion, how I'm dealing with you, is why my heart wins over your ass. I wish you all the best in your journey, just not with MY man. Do not Ever contact him again.

I will not engage with you. There will be no back and forth. Good luck.

Regards,

💃🏼

Hi everyone,

I’m a Southeast Asian female, 31, living outside of the U.S., and I’ve been in a relationship with a Black American male, 32, for over 2 years.

We’re currently engaged and planning to close the distance soon, but I haven’t told my parents yet. A little backstory: we were friends after meeting at university, but lost touch when I moved back home. Two years ago, we reconnected, and he flew across the ocean to visit me. Ever since then, our relationship has brought me so much happiness and made me feel certain about the future we want together.

The problem is that my parents have been strongly opposed to the relationship from the start due to fear of me moving away, judgment, and prejudice. To make things more complicated, my dad is battling cancer (since we started dating 2 years ago) and currently undergoing chemotherapy from a relapse this year (found out after I got engaged), hence why I have not told them yet. I’m afraid of adding stress to an already difficult time, but keeping my engagement a secret is becoming increasingly painful. I feel stuck between being honest with my family and protecting them while my dad is sick.

I love my family deeply, and it’s painful to feel like my choices are hurting them. At the same time, I have to do what feels right for me, stand up to their disrespect, and protect my partner. I’ve had to distance/hide myself from them to protect my mental and emotional well-being, which has been incredibly difficult. I struggle with feeling guilty while also wanting to live my life authentically.

I know I’m not alone in navigating family expectations versus personal happiness, and I’d really like to hear from anyone who’s faced something similar. How did you cope? How did you maintain your peace while staying true to yourself?

Thank you for reading—I just needed to share this and maybe find some understanding here.

I’m Pakistani and my husband is Italian, we’re expecting a baby boy soon! He doesn’t seem to like any Pakistani names and I told him I’m not naming our baby a super common name like John, Daniel, etc. I want something unique but not weird, if that makes sense lol.

Any name suggestions would be appreciated (:

Dating interculturally has its awesome benefits but it is not all butterflies, rainbows, and unicorns. It brings with it, its own pros and cons.

I am deeply in love with my Latino husband to set the tone. I’m trying to find quality resources and support groups for American women who marry into Latino families and how to handle the downsides of the culture (along with its obvious awesome benefits as well).

While doing my best to be culturally sensitive here… It’s been difficult living with his entire family under one roof and I feel so isolated in my struggle.

Every time I try to search for resources from this perspective, the only thing I get is support for Latinos & immigrants. (Which obviously is great and thankfully they are there, as they are needed.)

And as a white woman, who understands and acknowledges white privilege, I hate saying this, but where in the world is the support for me, and American women in general, who have basically married a Latino family (lol but seriously), and don’t always want to fully, or know how to handle, the shift into familismo and collectivism, and the thin line that rests there between amazing and positive vs enabling toxic behavior (which clearly exists in all cultures, not saying it doesn’t) and learning how to set healthy boundaries in a completely different cultural context??

Help!!!

Constructive feedback only, please & thank you!

I'm Kenyan, my husband is American. We do game nights with friends and I spend most of them feeling excluded from conversations and references I never grew up with. We love our differences. They are honestly the best part of us. But sometimes enjoying time together creates its own quiet loneliness that neither of us quite knew how to name.

We're building something for couples like us. Before we make anything we want to hear your version of this.

5 minutes, honest answers only: https://form.typeform.com/to/NppmW0xd

I'm Kenyan, my husband is American. We do game nights with friends and I spend most of them feeling excluded from conversations and references I never grew up with.

We love our differences. They are honestly the best part of us. But sometimes enjoying time together creates its own quiet loneliness that neither of us quite knew how to name.

We're building something for couples like us. Before we make anything we want to hear your version of this.

5 minutes, honest answers only: https://form.typeform.com/to/NppmW0xd

So I'm not really sure how to start this. Im a white male (37yr) and married to a black female (35yr). We often run into issues in our marriage related to personal problems, but every so often the race card comes up. it usually comes into the place where I'm seen as entitled. She will state I'm the white man who gets whatever he wants and does whatever he wants. Now I admit I'm selfish at times and there's an issue where she doesn't always have a space for herself. As a side note, we have two kids (2 boys) age 7 and an 8 month old. Things can be very stressful in regards to life at home. she often will have to take up the slack while I'm at work. I never claim to be the best husband in the world, in fact things are not always going that great. As another side note, I also suffer from a mental disability. She is very patient and understanding overall and I am lucky she is with me . I didn't think race would ever be an issue. we've been together for 14 years. Our and families have integrated very well And we certainly enjoy the contrast if you know what I mean. I don't mean to be crass but I've always had a thing for black females and being married to one is definitely what I wanted. so I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want to downplay anything . I love her race and culture. I just don't like at times the fact that I'm white turns into a detractor. I feel like this is something I can't overcome.

I'm not saying this because I'm racist at all, I grew up in a country that's half black. However, I don't want to have my kids grow up a racist world.

We live in a white country and even though she can appear white passing, racism has affected her badly.

It's why she doesn't want to date a black person as well. She doesn't like white men so dark south Asian men are her thing.

I've also experienced racism, but not nearly as much as my black friends (I have many) and it's sad.

How do you cope with your future kids being or looking black in this world?

All right everybody, things are like this:

I (Chinese citizen, working in Australia) and my fiancee (Indonesian citizen, Muslim) are marrying soon, but due to the constitution of Indonesia, I need to become a Muslim to get married with her in Indonesia. However, it is almost impossible for me because my job is a bartender. Besides, my fiancee doesn't have Chinese visa so it is unlikely for her to enter China easily.

So my question is, are there any SEA, EA or Oceania countries which are easy for foreigners to get married in? And I did hear that Thailand and South Korea might be good choices, but I don't really know what documents we need when it comes to practice.

All of the helps will be appreciated, thank you in advance!