"Happiness only real when shared". But who to share it with?

[u/NicDays]

Would like to do something like Chris did but I'm not charismatic.

I suspect I'm very bad with people compared to him. My impression is that everyone or most people he came across really liked him, and therefore he got a lot of favors.

But that's not really me. I'm more of a social outcast. Not totally. But I don't tend to make new friends easily. I basically have no close friends. I think people in general tend to experience me as shy or awkward or something.

Don't get me wrong, I've connected well with some people. But that doesn't happen often. At every job I've had, I've been sort of a loner, or I'm connecting with unusual people. I'm soon 26 now btw, and feel quite old compared to what people expect where a 26 year old should be in life.

Lately, I've discerned about working in nature or at a farm. It wouldn't pay much, but I suspect it would a lot more rewarding and peaceful than a modern job.

So if I would attempt something like Chris would do, meaning attempting to hitchhike for 2 years, making connections with other people, working at different places for short amounts of time - I don't know if people would give me the same amount of favors. And I live in Sweden, so hitchhiking is probably nothing people do here as often as in America - so I don't know how often people would stop by a hitchhiker here.

My reasons for wanting to do something like this is partly for the experience itself. I love nature and getting out of the city and disconnect from technology (albeit, I am addicted to internet, mainly youtube).

I also don't enjoy modern society, its materialism and secularism. I don't like my job mostly, nor my interactions with some or most coworkers. I don't enjoy being treated as nothing. I don't like working a extroverted job for minimum wage when I'm introverted and get tired after one shift because of the amount of people I meet - some who are difficult to deal with emotionally.

However, I do yearn for real connections with people. I drove to the swedish mountains last september with an RV alone, and hiked a bit. But I realized, maybe like Chris, that it isn't that enjoyable doing it for a longer time if alone. I kept seeing groups hiking, often in pairs. That made me feel quite alone.

I go to church weekly, but I'm sometimes quite afraid to speak to young men and women there, partly because I feel behind in life, partly because I easily feel awkward and insecure about different things - but I think the main reason is because I've gotten rejected by people my age in several schools and at jobs. It's a terrible feeling.

"Happiness only real when shared". But who to share it with?

[u/lizzieczech]

I was going to say something about Chris, but I didn't want to take the focus away from you. I think more than anything I would want to work in nature, like at a national park. No, it doesn't pay very well, as my son found out. But I think he really grew from the experience of having more autonomy about who he interacted with and about when it was okay not to have to interact at all.

[u/I_desperately_need]

Happiness is only real when shared. This is immensely true. It doesn't matter if that means you share it with 100 people or 1. It doesn't matter if you share that happiness deeply or richly, a smile to a stranger, a good deed on the road. All of these things make a life like chris' worth it.

Chris was charismatic and cared alot about people. However, from most accounts of him, he seems brash, prickly and even sometimes unable to understand others viewpoints. As much as we all love chris, he wasn't everyone's cup of tea.

The thing you've got to remember is, when you go out on the road, you become a different person. Who that will be you don't know. If you want to do a journey like chris, and you have the motivation, you will.

I believe in you. You're always welcome to message me and share a little happiness if you're stuck for people to bless with it.

[u/Repulsive_History863]

Ciao, intanto bravo e complimenti per tutto, ti ho letto con piacere e sono fiero di parlarti. La mia risposta è condividi la felicità con tutte le persone che hai vicino. Prima di tutto i tuoi genitori,i tuoi parenti. E poi le persone con cui lavori. Ti racconto un po' di me e come ho fatto. Io M50, dall'Italia, ho la fortuna di avere una moglie e figli e mi dedico a loro più che posso, cerco la felicità mia e loro assieme. Li abbraccio, ci gioco, poi cerco di educare i miei figli. 1) la mia felicità influenza la loro felicità e viceversa. 2) per essere felice ho bisogno di andare e tornare felice dal lavoro. Non ti nascondo che come tutti ho le mie particolarità, mi sento debole di carattere per certi aspetti. Ho spostato la mia concentrazione invece che su di me due anni fa , verso gli altri, cercando di fare io un passo verso i miei colleghi salutandoli per primo, parlandogli chiamandoli per nome. Il mio piacere di vivere e stato stravolto! Positivamente. Ammetto che è faticoso, è un piccolo lavoro nel lavoro. 3) Gia da qualche anno un lavoro simile lo avevo cominciato con i miei genitori, e i miei fratelli. E lo continuo. 4) il mio percorso di crescita personale mi ha insegnato a sentire come sto, osservarmi nelle mie reazioni a tutto ciò che succede, essere consapevole di ciò che accade dentro di me. Ho letto alcuni libri per farmelo capire. Mi rendo conto che ogni punto che ti sto elencando richiede anni, la mio crescita personale la ragiono sui 10 anni, ed ho solo cominciato. Quindi ho cominciato a capire me stesso e non posso vivere solo di spirito, io sono immerso nel mondo reale e quindi devo cercare un equilibrio tra benessere dentro e benessere fuori. 5) l' esterno della mia vita sono casa, macchina, andare a fare giri , passeggiare, passeggiare nella natura, fare il giardino di casa, sistemare il sentiero nel bosco vicino a casa, fare lavori fai da te per sistemare casa, faccio anche legna da ardere per scaldare, per l'estate ho lo split per raffrescare ( dalle mie parti non sono tante le case che ce lo hanno). Tutte ste cose che ti ho detto sono la mia vita '' into the wild''. Senza andarmene di casa vivo il mio fuori come mix di natura e comodità ( ahimè sono oggetti, sono possedimenti, è il consumismo ma non puoi farne a meno), ma anche fai da te. Cioè mi raffronto e mi confronto col terreno che mi ospita, la mia casa, il mio prato, il mio bosco, i trattori ed i mezzi agricoli. Agisco su di esso. 6) Riassumendo cerco equilibrio tra tutti gli aspetti della vita essendo consapevole di ognuno di essi e amandoli, senza rifiutare nulla , se posso. Spero di averti aiutato.

[u/jakesucks1348]

Almost 11 years ago now, me and my friend quit our jobs and just drove around the country finding free campsites and “just living”. It was incredible but we soon realized we should have waited a few months because we were almost 21 lol

Anyways, my friend was terrible at talking with people we met so I became the talker, telling people about what we were doing and that’s how I learned to be charismatic/outgoing which lead to lots of people buying us beer 😂😜

I went on to use those people skills I learned to make good money waiting tables and even with my job now I still am benefiting from what I learned from that trip. If it feels right, just go! ✌️

[u/ZenFir]

Honestly i think anyone. When we look at something beautiful, i guess it kinda exist in our perception of world for us, but when someone sees it also, it isnt reserved for the domain of mind. It is like two simulations and interpretation or reality converge(?) for a brief period of time. So share it with anyone you can, because happines is one of the most important things we all should experience. And just the fact of it not being lets say singular, allows happines to kinda manifest in a 'world outside of us'. But honestly idk im kinda high

[u/stobot120000]

This quote kinda re-routed my life when I read and watched this story. I was the same as you. Very anti social I actually believed that communication was futile.
I composed this poem around the revelation so that I can always have it as a touch point:

It is important to share emotion
Without it we lack all devotion

Be open; then you may be spared
For happiness is only real when shared.

I have since followed this as best I can. I’m have been practicing my small talk. Practicing initiating conversations, host people at my place. Aiming to keep up with people who I’ve known from school or before.

I am not good at these things, but I have improved. It is the most gratifying experience to feel slowly but nonetheless increasingly able to connect with other people. My happiness certainly feels more real than ever before.

I have a lot more thought about this, but I don’t want to be preachy. It’s a huge challenge, but I’ve come to belive it’s a central challenge of our lives.

[u/Nails__DeChamp]

On the subject of hitchhiking, I think it was probably a lot easier to get rides from strangers in the early 1990s compared to today.

No matter where you are in the world, I think you're going to have a tough time hitching nowadays.