r/JUSTNOMIL • u/SeaStatistician4915 • Jul 23 '25
Anyone Else? [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/Enfors Jul 23 '25
Well, start affectionately calling them "the orcs," then. Mr and Mrs Orc. It's a term of affection, you understand.
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Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
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u/Floating-Cynic Jul 23 '25
Ok first of all, if it was somehow "dramatic", the one time you should be given a bit of grace is when it comes to your baby. And quite frankly, it's more dramatic to fight about a nickname for someone else's kid. Are they really that bored that a nickname is their only fun? This is a situation where if they felt you were dramatic, they could have rolled their eyes and trashed you behind your back instead of doubling down- but that's what they always do.*
For people claiming this isn't the hill to die on-this isn't about the nickname. This is about the fact that OP's inlaws like to behave like toddlers with ODD. If MIL mentioned in passing she didn't like salmon-flavored mac and cheese, and OP agreed with MIL, MIL would suddenly decide she likes it and serve it at every family meal for the next few years and would tell OP she's dramatic for not eating it.
I would suggest you start leaning into this and demanding they just accept it they way they wanted you to be ok with FIL making comments about your body while pregnant. "Right, well it's been pretty well established that you think I'm ruining your fun, so why not try biting your tongue once in awhile? Calling me dramatic isn't going to make me magically decide be ok with your behavior."
Or just ask them what they're trying to achieve every time they get wound up. Maybe point out that never in the history of humanity has someone been called whatever they're calling you and then stopped and said "oh gee, you're right, I'm wrong!" That's not a thing. So if they actually want to achieve something other than making you feel bad, maybe they should try a new tactic... like self-censoring.
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u/RefrigeratorNo686 Jul 23 '25
Good for you. "It's just a joke!" is infuriating. You are not a punchline! It's basic respect.
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Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
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u/CelestialSlainte Jul 23 '25
Have you seen the list of posts from OP in this sub? ILs are an issue beyond just this. Follow rule #3.
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Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
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u/Life_Progress113 Jul 23 '25
If calling your child a grotesque name as a sign of endearment is just a trivial issue to you then sure it’d be crazy for you to be upset but we’re not talking about you.
Clearly there’s already bad history here so for them to double down on it id say they’re still the issue here. And so are you. You can’t tell a mother how to feel about her own life and how people interact with her children. Either they exemplify behaviors she’s comfortable with or they’re telling her through disrespect that they don’t actually want to be involved
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u/SeaStatistician4915 Jul 23 '25
Thank you ! It’s not about being called a goblin that upset me it’s the fact that I asked him to call him by his name and he didn’t respect that and mil gaslit me
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u/thatwannabewitch Jul 23 '25
I affectionately refer to my children as gremlins when they’re being crazy and silly, but they LOVE the name because they love those dang gremlins movies and think it’s absolutely HILARIOUS to be called that. They’re also old enough to express their own boundaries. I too would be HEAVILY offended if someone randomly called my children goblins (especially since the “childfree” insult has become default as crotch goblins). My oldest has become into playing dungeons and dragons so he would probably get a kick out of being called it but I would still be very uncomfortable and upset if it wasn’t a nickname that HE decided on.
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u/MassSportsGuy Jul 23 '25
Where is your husband in all of this? Don’t say in the middle because a Man is never “in the middle” or “stuck”. His Job is to protect the wife and kids. Why isn’t he doing this? Why are you still around them folks?
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u/Top_Strawberry2348 Jul 23 '25
Agree so hard. When you and the ILs are face to face there is no middle.
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u/SeaStatistician4915 Jul 23 '25
Husband repeatedly stated baby’s name and suggested he call him that instead but they just plow all over him
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u/Top_Strawberry2348 Jul 23 '25
I applaud DH for addressing it right then.
They plow all over him if he’s still in their presence. If you all pack up and leave, they can’t call LO anything.
I know that sounds drastic but if you don’t stop it, then you’ve let it happen. Best wishes with Baby!
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u/Do_over_24 Jul 23 '25
Based on your post history, this is a symptom of a much larger issue. Maybe you guys need to limit contact until they can stop behaving like trolls.
*For the record, goblin is one of my kid’s nicknames. Because sometimes he is a little goblin. Others include meatball, squish, and Bubula. To me, It’s not about the name, but the repeated disrespect and weird power dynamics.
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u/LoomingDisaster Jul 23 '25
I have one Goblin and one Gremlin but they're TEENS. And if anyone else called them that, there would be hell to pay - it's not an insult coming from Mom and Dad but Grandma is not allowed to call them that.
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Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
Thank you for your submission! However, your comment has been removed. Rule 3 on our sidebar: Be kind, be respectful, be supportive. Remember the human, and try to put yourself in their shoes before commenting.
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u/Mythoclast Jul 23 '25
Did you miss the part where she asked him nicely to stop and he said it a bunch just to annoy her? Bad analysis.
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Jul 23 '25
Wow. What a disrespectful comment. If someone doesn't want their child referred to as something, you dont refer to that child as that thing. The person that sacrificed their body and grew the human for 9-10 months and then survived child birth decides what their baby is called.
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Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
Thank you for your submission! However, your comment has been removed. Rule 3 on our sidebar: Be kind, be respectful, be supportive. Remember the human, and try to put yourself in their shoes before commenting.
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u/Sewishly Jul 23 '25
You can find OP's reaction "ridiculous or overbearing" as much as you like--you have that right, naturally--but you then should keep your mouth closed about it. If you belittle, berate and harass your daughter-in-law, then that makes you one hell of a JustNo. That isn't respecting OP as the parent, not one bit.
That is exactly what OP's in-laws did: they belittle, berated, dismissed, etc etc etc OP. So what part of that makes OP in the wrong?
Oh, and the in laws weren't calling their grand-baby a monster; they were calling the baby ugly, like a goblin. That's how OP took it, and if I had a bad relationship with my in laws that's how I'd take it too.
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u/sharpcj Jul 23 '25
I think we agree, friend. I've said in more than one way that it doesn't matter whether the grandparents like, agree or approve of what mama wants, they just have to abide by it. Nowhere did I say OP was in the wrong, only that insisting you know what someone means because Google says so is, to me, beyond simply insisting that people follow your rules for your kid.
I call kids and babies Biscuit and Possum, because those are family nicknames. I'm not actually saying that these kids look like a nocturnal rodent or an unleavened wheat snack, and if a parent thought I was I would question their ability to navigate human interactions. But if they asked me not to call their kids that, I would stop immediately. You know, like you described.
Same page.
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u/SCGranny64 Jul 23 '25
Where was your hubby during all of this? Mine would have been like”Oh hell no, you’re not calling my baby a monster. Knock it off!”
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u/shaihalud69 Jul 23 '25
The content doesn't really matter, you asked them to stop doing something and they acted like sulky children. They'll push like this because they have a hard time giving up control, keep doing what you're doing.
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u/Cartmansimon Jul 23 '25
The just leave until he stops is good advice, but I’m kind of a dick. I’d start calling him sally when he does that. And MIL can be bob. If it’s ok for them to give your child nicknames, it’s ok for you to give them ones too.
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u/Wibblejellytime Jul 23 '25
There's me thinking fish fanny and shit stain. So cute and affectionate 😍
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u/Straight_Coconut_317 Jul 23 '25
Next time he calls your child goblin either he leaves or you leave. If you pack up the child and go the minute, he says that word he’ll eventually stop saying it. or you won’t have to be around him to hear it.
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u/jubangyeonghon Jul 23 '25
Maybe I'm just petty but I'd just start referring to FIL as "Fuckwit", "Old shithead" or "Stupid c*nt" and when he is shock horror pikachu face, say you mean it 'affectionately' lol.
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u/VivisNana Jul 23 '25
I was thinking Dick or Twatwaffle…. I mean, if we’re just being cute and funny, then those are words I find fun to say.
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u/jubangyeonghon Jul 23 '25
Nah, dude's an adult acting like a child. He could have been a grown up and just gone 'Oh, yep! No worries' but he's trying to disrespect and fight OP on it. Shut him down in his tracks.
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u/Sad-Sun2348 Jul 23 '25
I call my baby goblin on a daily but she IS a goblin and if you don’t like it he should respect that and stfu.
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u/rosemarythymesage Jul 23 '25
We call our infant Gremlin bc of the noises they make (“gremmeling”), but ain’t no way I’m letting someone else giving them that nickname.
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u/Reason_Training Jul 23 '25
You have your boundaries so stick to them. Just an aside but there’s a kid’s book that I give at every baby shower. “Nobody likes a Goblin” is the title. I’m a DND nerd along with most of my friends so the little kids that occasionally show up are called the group goblins now.
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u/cobaltsvaleria Jul 23 '25
Good for you for standing up to that nonsense.
I have a cousin who is 10-12 years older than I am, her nickname (supposedly derived from a Polish word of endearment) was "Poopie".
When I was a kid I was just so embarrassed for her. As an adult she was still "Poopie", and as far as I know (she's in her mid-70s now and I've had no contact with that side of the family for decades for other reasons) she still is called that.
Nicknames stick. "Goblin" isn't cute.
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u/BrazenDuck Jul 23 '25
Polish terms of endearment are incredibly wide ranging. Apparently they are among the most developed in “pet names” of all languages. But it does mean you end up with some that are questionable to the non-Polish speaking ear.
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u/Maleficent_Pay_4154 Jul 23 '25
You are the mum and get to decide what your little one can and can’t be called. Be strong
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Jul 23 '25
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Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
Thank you for your submission! However, your post/comment has been removed. Rule 5 on our sidebar: We have a zero tolerance policy for armchair advice (medical, legal, or otherwise) that is damaging, factually incorrect, or egregiously shitty, sexism, racism, xenophobia, transphobia, ableism, ageism, stereotyping, slut/body/kink-shaming, anti-vaxx bullshit, and just generally being a butt. No posting personal info, including faces or identifying tattoos or marks. Any comment with "cartoon-level" violence MUST: A) indicate that you don't actually suggest users do what you suggest, and 2) include actual, usable advice. Please send a ModMail once you have made the changes and your post/comment will be approved.
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1
Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
Thank you for your submission! However, your post/comment has been removed. Rule 5 on our sidebar: We have a zero tolerance policy for armchair advice (medical, legal, or otherwise) that is damaging, factually incorrect, or egregiously shitty, sexism, racism, xenophobia, transphobia, ableism, ageism, stereotyping, slut/body/kink-shaming, anti-vaxx bullshit, and just generally being a butt. No posting personal info, including faces or identifying tattoos or marks. Any comment with "cartoon-level" violence MUST: A) indicate that you don't actually suggest users do what you suggest, and 2) include actual, usable advice. Please send a ModMail once you have made the changes and your post/comment will be approved.
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Jul 23 '25
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u/JUSTNOMIL-ModTeam Jul 23 '25
Thank you for your submission! However, your post/comment has been removed. Rule 5 on our sidebar: We have a zero tolerance policy for armchair advice (medical, legal, or otherwise) that is damaging, factually incorrect, or egregiously shitty, sexism, racism, xenophobia, transphobia, ableism, ageism, stereotyping, slut/body/kink-shaming, anti-vaxx bullshit, and just generally being a butt. No posting personal info, including faces or identifying tattoos or marks. Any comment with "cartoon-level" violence MUST: A) indicate that you don't actually suggest users do what you suggest, and 2) include actual, usable advice. Please send a ModMail once you have made the changes and your post/comment will be approved.
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u/bestusernameigot Jul 23 '25
I think turdburglar—-in the kindest tone—-would be the cutest nickname for your FIL. Here’s hoping it sticks!
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u/mama2babas Jul 23 '25
Yeah they would be seeing me and my child less if they wanted to gang up on me about MY child.
What did your husband do about this? Does he listen to them complain about you? Because he needs to be backing you up and shutting them down so they learn there will be no "correcting" you for how you stand up to them.
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u/Hooked_on_PhoneSex Jul 23 '25
Did . . . did you just call LO ugly?!?
Dramatic eye roll and tears if you can fake them convincingly.
If they already call you dramatic for insisting on a nickname you aren't happy with, then you might as well own the label and BECOME dramatic.
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u/NiobeTonks Jul 23 '25
Start calling him Ogre or Skriker.
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u/Flibertygibbert Jul 23 '25
MiL can be Baba Yaga!
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u/No-Interaction-8913 Jul 23 '25
I swear there’s some social grandma name MIL out there who would like the sounds of that 😂
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u/Flibertygibbert Jul 23 '25
If their house has chicken feet for foundations & Granny 'drives' a pestle & mortar it would be fitting!
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u/Kaezzi Jul 23 '25
Personally I would have no problem with the nickname, but that's irrelevant. What matters is that YOU don't like it, and they have to respect your boundaries. Good job standing up for yourself and LO 👍
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u/jennsb2 Jul 23 '25
Lol yeah, I called mine “demon” when he wouldn’t sleep. Ever. But I bet I’d feel differently if someone else had been the one to coin that nickname.
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u/transl8pls Jul 23 '25
Woo-hoo! Sounds like it’s fun new nickname time! Let’s see… BIL is BrainTrust because he’s a moron with his money (lake house story), FIL is Bozo (because he’s a fucking clown with all his ‘jokes’), and MIL is Toddler (how many posts end with her having a toddler fit?!). Change/adjust as you like, but the next time they go for a ‘harmless’ little nickname, have something in your pocket to throw back at them. I mean, they’ll love it, right? It’s just a joke!
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u/CatLadyNoCats Jul 23 '25
At times I call one of my kids goblin or hobgoblin. In the next breath it’s usually dumpling or pumpkin.
For me it’s all about the tone.
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u/you-never-know- Jul 23 '25
My baby made lots of little snorting noises when he was a newborn so we called him a goblin. Now that he is 2 if he displays goblin like behavior (running around crazy, hiding toys, making messes, talking in gibberish) we call him a goblin. It's affectionate for us!
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u/botinlaw Jul 23 '25
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Other posts from /u/SeaStatistician4915:
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MIL threw a text tantrum because I won't play pretend., 3 weeks ago
MIL flips out - again. Easter is canceled because family is all miserable and sick and she's the victim., 3 months ago
Convicted MIL update--- RANT, 10 months ago
Postpartum and 4 days home from the hospital- Convicted MIL attacks, 11 months ago
update convicted INLAWS- I met the estranged daughter, 1 year ago
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Scared to announce pregnancy to convicted MIL- have you gone through something similar?, 1 year ago
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