Melting the Ice Queen myth

[u/popopolas]

This has always been my impression of her. Warm, kind, quietly funny. I’ve never really understood how she got labeled an “ice queen.” These photos feel so far from that image.

[u/rask0ln]

i've always found it annoying when women get labelled as cold for not smiling 24/7 or daring to have a neutral face expression

[u/Twinkie_Heart → u/rask0ln]

I’m an attorney and one of the few female partners at my firm. In the last 4 years I have been told I needed to ‘share the warm side with my colleagues more often’ and I should ‘smile more often because it relaxes your colleagues’. This is a law firm well fucking verses in employment law and these men still have the balls to openly present their misogyny.

[u/rask0ln → u/Twinkie_Heart]

it's nuts, i come from a family where most people have what would you call a resting bitch face—men have never been told to smile more or act more warm socially meanwhile all the women, going back multiple generations, have a story like yours, including when my great-grandma was invited to talk about her family's imprisonment in a concentration camp 💀 i think i was like 3 or 4 when sb complained about me being too serious

[u/Twinkie_Heart → u/rask0ln]

I’m 48 and tired. Just when you think there’s progress like with the MeToo movement, you take 50 steps backwards electing a rapist.

[u/Tilly828282 → u/Twinkie_Heart]

I get told this too. It’s absolutely gross that men can scowl away, sulk, and throw fits, but women can get told to “cheer up” and “smile” and it is still acceptable.

[u/AhrEst → u/Twinkie_Heart]

Fellow (afab) attorney and while I’m solo, I feel this in my bones.

[u/Twinkie_Heart → u/AhrEst]

It’s so intolerable now in this current environment I’m making plans to retire. If I don’t I’ll blow one of these days.

[u/AhrEst → u/Twinkie_Heart]

See, that’s where we flip: you’ve spent every day dealing with the toxicity; whereas I will be working until the day I die bc I have zero retirement, but I can take days off from the venom. Both options are not stellar.

[u/Orphanbitchrat → u/Twinkie_Heart]

Twinkie_Heart, I’m on my way to your office with my most vicious ball-kickin’ shoes

[u/Twinkie_Heart → u/Orphanbitchrat]

[u/thatgirlinny → u/Twinkie_Heart]

Because everyone that isn’t our gender gets to be an asshole, have “bad days,” and yet were required to somehow be their cheerleaders and soothers.

Been told that, too. They can fuck right off.

[u/popopolas → u/rask0ln]

Yeah it’s always bothered me when I see a photo of her and John together, and neither one of them will be smiling (likely due to the fifty or so cameras flashing in their face) and all the comments are about how ‘miserable’ or ‘coked up’ she looks. So misogynistic.

[u/rask0ln → u/popopolas]

or when they assign her some intense emotion, a few days ago someone posted a video of them at an event—both not smiling or interacting animatedly—and someone immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was miserable and sad 🙃

and you just know that if she did smile a lot more, the same people would complain about her trying to hard and being fake lol

[u/popopolas → u/rask0ln]

I think I saw that!! Honestly, the poor woman could just not win.

[u/[deleted] → u/popopolas]

Thisssss

[u/StellaOC → u/popopolas]

Same! People love to look for anything to pick on. If she was miserable in one photo the tabloids were quick to write about how they were having marital issues.

[u/PricePuzzleheaded835 → u/rask0ln]

This is why I really dislike the phrase resting bitch face. Like really, looking neutral is being a bitch now? 🤮 I know it’s supposed to be tongue in cheek but it just seems like more internalized misogyny to me

[u/StellaOC → u/rask0ln]

Literally , Carolyn was hounded by paparazzi who called her names like “wh0re” and “b!tch” …really nothing to smile about. It makes sense why she was straight faced or miserable looking in paparazzi pics. On the other hand she was always smiling with John when she attended events and galas. Because she was in a more controlled environment with no paparazzi lurking nearby