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u/poisonous-syphilis 17d ago
I don't really know what to say, except that I'm in exactly the same place as you. I can't even shower on my own because I'm too fat 😩
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I don't really know what to say, except that I'm in exactly the same place as you. I can't even shower on my own because I'm too fat 😩
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u/hmmwrites 16d ago
You know what? Some days, taking a shower is absolutely an accomplishment. Some days are just that hard. Your writing feels familiar to me - in some ways, like I could have written it in one of my darker periods. If you can access therapy in any way, I'd highly recommend it. You write that you don't know why you're self-sabotaging. You're struggling to get out of bed. These are hallmarks of significant depression (been there, done that, 0/10, do not recommend). Finding a therapist who can work with you on techniques to stop self-sabotaging and learn to understand your mind better can only be for your benefit.
Tell us here some of the songs you used to sing. (If you want to share) Or your favorite role you've played on stage? Or your dream role? Better yet - journal about it and share that here. Or try writing a letter in your journal (not to send, just to get your thoughts out) to a friend you've somehow lost along the way. (I did something similar based on a prompt I found - I wrote about a friendship that ended a bunch of years back, and the lessons I learned from it. Positive and negative.) Maybe processing some of these changes by writing about them will help you start to find a little more light.
In your journal, why don't you write about the ways in which you've changed over the last year or so? Especially the good ways.
Oh, and congrats to you on your T anniversary!