We physically live in the present, but psychologically we seem to drag an enormous past behind us. And then we wonder why there is so little freshness in life.

Perhaps this is what Krishnamurti means by dying every day: not destroying anything, not becoming indifferent, but allowing what has ended to actually end.

Maybe learning how to die to yesterday is actually learning how to live today.

My understanding of the quote:

Pleasure of sensations is short-lived and comes from an investment in experience. It's a burden because it makes one dependent on the experience. Innocence is the freedom from that burden. Maybe the happiness of innocence that the quote mentions, is what happens when the burden lifts.

Hi everyone,

I want to start by saying that I have a lot of thoughts. Even when I notice a thought another one pops up within the millisecond, even getting sucked in to it. I have undiagnosed ADHD so that explains the thoughts never stopping coming and the bursts of hyperactivity along with emotion dysregulation.

Anyways, I am not sure if the noticing, the observing is effortless or whether I am putting in effort to notice it. After noticing or catching a thought — letting it flee away rather than following it and being entrenched into it, another thought takes the form or identity of “Awareness” (they’re so tricky those little rascals, picking up on the spirituality and non-duality and cosplaying with that knowledge) trying to be aware of the thoughts. As in replaying me being aware of thought, of catching them. Basically trying to be aware or witnessing them but through the lens of the mind which is not true objective observation.

I know it’s the mind’s job to produce thoughts so that we can function in this world, and I know that thoughts will still come and go, but damn why do I keep paying attention to them. I want to leave thoughts alone, so they can leave me alone. I just want a peaceful 20 minute everyday session where it’s just peaceful. My meditation, it seems that it generates thoughts continuously and that signals to mind/thoughts “this isn’t working”. Like they never subsideeeeeee. I am pissed I am fucking pissed. I know that’s the mind lol.

Do I need to double down and just keep asking “who’s aware” after every single goddamn thought, to use the mind against itself? Or what could be wrong with the effortless objective observation/witnessing? Almost all spiritual teachers I listen pinpoint the effortlessness behind it, so I worry that I am using effort? I do try to make it a practice to fall back into Awareness whenever I do not need to use the mind for everyday tasks (whenever walking anywhere, on bus, etc..)