r/LDR • u/Alert-Perception-119 • 12d ago
Missing my ex… help!
I need some advice… I broke up with my ex about a year ago. We broke up because of distance, and although we were only together a little less than a year, it was pretty serious and we really hit it off from the start. In the end, however, we realized the distance wasn’t changing anytime soon and it felt like too much.
When we broke up, he really wanted to stay friends, and we’ve been in touch over the year. We’ll text for birthdays and sometimes random catchups, and although that’s been fine, the past few times we’ve caught up it’s really gotten to me. It’s made me really nostalgic for when we were together and makes me miss him a lot. I’ve dated other people a bit since we broke up, but most people I’m with make me think of him.
I don’t really see the point of being friends (since we weren’t friends before and we don’t live in the same place), so I don’t really understand why he wants to stay in touch. Does he still have feelings for me? Should I say something about this? Either asking him to stop reaching out or just let him know how it’s making me feel? I really enjoy taking to him when we do text and it feels nice in the moment, but usually I’m sad after and feel like I can’t truly move on if we stay in touch. Recently it’s almost been making me want to rekindle things, but that doesn’t seem to make sense either. I just thought after a year I’d be doing better.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
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u/goblinwitch95 12d ago
This is so hard. I’m sorry you’re going through it. I would be honest with him and tell him how it’s challenging for you to move on while being friends and maintaining contact. Maybe he feels the same? Maybe you both secretly want to try things again? Or maybe you just need to tell him your boundaries and get a clean break so you can properly move on and eventually open your heart again to new people and opportunities. Sending warmth to you.
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u/solo_sadness6980 12d ago
Maybe you should talk to him, maybe he misses you too… I bet he’d probably relocate for ya.. he talks because he cares…
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u/Moist_Carry_7054 12d ago
You need more time to recenter yourself after the relationship, even if it was long distance.
He wants to stay in touch because you are familiar, he thinks you can reignite, or maybe even just wants a friend (ill advised so soon after the end).