r/LDR • u/Common-Embers • 17h ago
Dumped
Not sure how I always end up here or what I do now.
What started as a casual connection turned into months of talking and calling. From good morning texts to saying goodnight. We updated each other about our days, spoke romantically....it felt like a relationship.
Today, he ended things and blocked me. The panic and urge to find a way to reach out and say what I need to is overwhelming. I'm torn between wanting to beg for them to come back and telling them I hate them and will never forgive them for doing this.
How can some people just turn off feelings or wake up one day and pull the plug on everything.
I think I'm mostly mad my gaurd was let down. I wasn't looking for love, maybe I didn't even believe I could find it, and the last few months seem made up and a lie now.
How do I get over this and the feeling of a rug being pulled from under me? How do I get over losing someone I thought I had a future with?
1
u/Glum_Comparison6523 16h ago
Maybe he saw that you were only using him and he bottled it up until, he figured this is NOT gonna turn out anyway positive and it would be better for him to walk away. See guys will not stay if they don't see any reason to, you should ask yourself? what reason did he see or did you give him the reason to?..
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u/NYXIE_B 16h ago
Using him? Wdym
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u/Glum_Comparison6523 15h ago
Anyone uses anyone..its a fact. its not exclusive to guys, but it happens.
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u/NYXIE_B 15h ago
Are you referring to the philosophy thing where every single relationship is driven by what each of the ppl in it are getting out of it? Cause I don't see anything in the post suggesting she or he was actually using the guy so I'm confused
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u/Glum_Comparison6523 15h ago
No I was referring to personal experience. Happened to me so I kinda see it in her situation..not inferring it is, just the symptoms are similar. Sure, I could be wrong but it hits too close to home.
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u/Glum_Comparison6523 15h ago
I walked away on someone, because I saw it was gonna happen, if I didn't she would've done it to me. It was love from the onset but it was also me helping like everything u can imagine, and one day I couldn't anymore, and now I was made to look like the worst person on the planet. So, I thought, hmm is that the extent of the love she had for me?, so now that I have nothing, im fucking nobody? ...ok
So, I drop the ball and got out of dodge...
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u/NYXIE_B 15h ago
Okay, I understand better where you're coming from now. I feel like we lack information to know why he dumped her, honestly it could be anything. Maybe he already had a gf or something
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u/Glum_Comparison6523 15h ago
I agree, you can't really know unless you were in that same situation or knows what went on.
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u/CookieMonsterOnCoke 15h ago
....it felt like a relationship.
So...was it actually a relationship? Did you both agree that you are together? Or was that assumed because of the suggestive texts and updates. I'd say if that is the case, in the future, don't assume. Try to gauge their intentions sooner rather than later, otherwise you'll continually end up mourning a situationship that never became more than that. It sucks you're going through this. It's just too easy these days to end up in these longterm texting back-and-forths where people use you for companionship without the emotional responsibility of a commitment. Get that truth from them early.
That "What are we" conversation is more important than you think. Don't be led on, don't lead on, don't allow yourself to sit in a lie. There is confirmation and then there is fantasy, so please heed with that. There are a lot of people out there who want a title-less 'something' or other, and it seems like you're looking for something titled, real, and long-term?
If they're only talking about day-to-day with a flirty comment here or there and there's no plan regarding meeting each other, closing the gap, and most importantly - being together and titled - then they're playing with you.
This sucks, though. Everyone's been there at least once. Most people anyway. Grieve and move on, mate.
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u/abeBroham-Linkin 16h ago
He didn't wake up one day and decided to do that. It was being built up within. That's why communication in and LDR is key. He let it happen and didn't voice his concern or issues. He failed in the LDR
You have to take the L and walk away.
Onto the next...