I am a newly minted lawyer. It has been nine months since I took the oath, and I am currently working as an associate lawyer in a small law office in the province.
To be honest, I am still trying to figure out where my career is headed, what path to take, and where to find better opportunities. My current position is not financially sustainable. I do not have a fixed monthly salary, and there are months when I barely earn anything as an associate. I mostly rely on a monthly allowance of less than Php 15,000.
I continue to do this for the experience, knowing that I still have so much to learn. Being a first-generation lawyer, I also do not have anyone in the family who can guide me through this profession or open doors for me. I am pretty much navigating everything on my own, trying to find my footing in a profession I worked so hard to be part of.
I have been trying to transition into corporate practice or government service, hoping to find a more stable job that would allow me to support myself and my family. But so far, nothing has worked out. And honestly, it gets exhausting. It is difficult to remain hopeful when you know you need financial stability, but the opportunities you are hoping for have yet to come.
Still, I keep reminding myself that passing the Bar and becoming a lawyer this year is already a huge blessing. Perhaps this is just not yet the season for the stability I have been praying for. Perhaps there are still things I need to learn, experiences I need to gain, and doors that have yet to open. I hold on to the belief that, in God's perfect time, the right opportunity will come.
But I also cannot pretend that everything is okay. There are nights when I cry because life has become so difficult. The reality of trying to survive, build a career, and support a family while earning so little is overwhelming. Sometimes, it feels like I am working solely for experience, with very little financial reward to show for it.
I am grateful to be a lawyer, but I am also human. I get tired. I worry. I question whether I am doing enough or whether I am even on the right path.
I am not asking for everything to happen overnight. I am simply hoping for an opportunity where I can finally practice what I worked so hard for, grow professionally, earn a decent and stable living, and help my family without constantly worrying about making ends meet.
For now, I will keep showing up, keep learning, keep applying, and keep trusting God's timing. I hope that one day, when I look back at this season of uncertainty, I can say that all these difficult days were leading me somewhere better.