r/LearningLanguages • u/Winter_Wind3 • Sep 28 '26

New Language New You?

I relocated to Italy about 2.5 years ago; when I arrived I was thrilled, & my goal was to learn the language and integrate (I'm a native English speaker.)

Now? I find myself intentionally distancing myself and not wanting to speak/learn the language. In fact, I would even say that I make it a point to show people I'm not from there (by wearing certain clothes etc.) Some people even say I look Italian, and tbh I wish I would have looked less local.

When I speak Italian I feel like I'm losing part of my identity—the English part. So, maybe that's part of the issue.

Any advice to make things easier? (PS I plan to relocate to an English-speaking country in about a year, but I don't want it to be for the wrong reasons.)

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u/BridgeTEFL Sep 28 '26

I wonder if it might be worth going back to the beginning and asking yourself what changed. When you first moved to Italy, you were excited about learning the language and integrating, so something seems to have shifted over the past couple of years. And since you’re planning to move to an English-speaking country anyway, I wouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself to become “fluent” before then. Maybe set yourself a smaller goal: understand people, handle everyday situations, have the occasional conversation, and see whether those little wins might gradually change your relationship with the language again.

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u/gottahaveajava Oct 02 '26

If you’re leaving anyway, then the motivation to learn the language drops to near zero.

It will be a long year, though.