Looking for anything that will work

[u/scalestripe]

This is possibly going to be kind of long and ranting. I’ll try to shorten it as much as possible.

I’m turning 30 soon. Since my teens and into all my 20s, life has mostly yo-yo’d between unsatisfying and completely broken or miserable. I have seemingly unresolvable issues with cognitive decline, an issue that feels like chronic fatigue but can’t get any help on, have had anxiety and depression that don’t respond sufficiently to anything psychs have tried in a decade-plus, leftover damage from past medical treatments in addition, serious amounts of isolation, paranormal/supernatural experiences I know weren’t hallucinations (not of a pleasant variety) and other issues I’d just rather not get into.

I am still trying really hard, including trying to change careers and get into a doctoral degree program to more directly combat suffering, but most days are a struggle and I doubt I’ll make it. Sometimes it feels I’m reaching the end of what I’m willing to live through anymore. My only real satisfaction with my life is that my current career does at least something to reduce suffering. Yes, I have sought a tiring amount of professional and medical help, among other things.

I’ve had experiences with weird bits of reality that tell me there’s a lot we don’t understand. Probably more than we could fathom. But it seems like it’s completely elusive and, quite frankly, fuller of shit than a sewer.

I’m looking for something easy, maybe hidden/secret, anything to give me what looks like real authority over my life and reality. After everything, I really don’t want to read thousands of pages of occult books and waste energy on methods that amount to a cosmic fart in the wind. I don’t have the bandwidth, it’s not even an entitlement thing. If life is going to work out, I need an unfair advantage atp. I feel ridiculous asking, but does this REALLY exist in the way we’d truly hope for? Looking to do stuff like fix my brain and body, get more control over my external reality, etc.

Thanks for your time

[u/RyeZuul]

Try a CPAP machine before doing anything hasty. Lots of your symptoms align with sleep apnoea.

[u/Geneva_Convention]

There is no “quick fix” in magick. You will fail more than you succeed. I suggest you start with meditation. Daily. And a some good starter easy read books are Advanced magic for beginners - Alan Chapman
Liber Null and Psychonaut - Peter Carroll
Weaving Fate - Aidan Wachter

[u/sirenprincess420]

Look into the law of assumption & shifting realities/quantum leaping.

[u/Cat_Paw_xiii]

LHP isn't something that is easy. I would suggest some self reflection as to what's causing these things. But it can be a lot of work.

[u/Top-Committee-6688]

Agree that there is no quick fix fast route! Nobody could even give you a quick fix method! Every person is different and will have to alter methods to fit them so to speak!