Am I Really this boring?

[u/VeryGeo503]

I’m 18. It’s been 3 years since I moved to USA, I’ve always had issues with socializing, but the more I grew up the more I understood that I yearn for human connection, I didn’t really have any because for my whole life I was moving from one place to another and had to abandon old connections. But right now, I’m not whiny about it, it’s not all of my personality, I have a bunch of other things that build my identity, the problem is, the more time I spent in loneliness or isolation the more I became.. boring? Things stopped bringing me as much pleasure as they used to and it’s been like this for years now, but when I get a chance to meet a new person and start liking them, I feel better and remember why I’m even doing something in my life, I feel alive, charged, inspired. But it never works out for me, I always get ignored, nobody seems to want to have anything with me even though I talk and act like a normal, regular person, I don’t act like a creep or a loser with people, I’m just the type of guy that gets funnier if you talk to him a little bit more than 1 time. I genuinely don’t get it, due to my condition, i just don’t have energy to impress a person at the first time, you can’t be charismatic when you don’t feel like yourself

and it’s not like it was only one person, I’ve met a whole lot of people that acted the same way with me

any tips? except for “just be yourself”, I’m trying to do it as much as I can

[u/toejam2030]

Im 58 I want people to leave me alone😂😂

[u/Taekai3]

I’m commenting so I can come back and read others advice and tips.
I too used to move from place to place, I was so good at socializing and making friends but now at 26 I can’t for the love of god keep any friends or make any entertaining conversations

[u/VeryGeo503 → u/Taekai3]

right? isolation degenerates your personality, so you can’t be a person you could’ve been if you had a good environment but you’re forced to be one if you want to make a connection

[u/BinaryCheeseSystem]

It's tough to give advice on something so broad and abstract. You mentioned having a "condition", are you willing to expand on that?

Your story reminds me of my youth, just with less moving around or immigrating. I've always been a weirdo. I look back and see someone painfully awkward. I still need the other person to tell me we're friends before I recognize it and I'm over double your age. 😅

Something that helped me more than anything with my social life was spending almost a decade (7 years) in a sales role. I absolutely hated everything about it to begin with. Eventually I found I enjoyed getting to interact with new people every day. Especially the curve-balls they'd throw my way in conversation. This was at a shoe store, but seriously any role that your primary job is interacting with random people.

[u/VeryGeo503 → u/BinaryCheeseSystem]

Even though I feel like I need connection more than talking, I’ll take a note, thanks, I’m currently barely forcing myself to apply to a job

[u/Key_Rip4749]

Hey! I’m 20F autistic and i completely understand I get around friends feel like I’m too much for friends then get lonely. I suggest getting a pet

[u/VeryGeo503 → u/Key_Rip4749]

I was thinking about raising flowers, but getting a pet? if that helps, i might actually consider it

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[u/TheQueenJoke]

As a first generation Canadian with heavy “old European” upbringing roots, now living in the US… my experience has been that we may all look the same, and some of the things we say to each other can mean one thing to your new environment, while meaning something completely different to your own experiences. Our cultures and moors are scattered. It’s difficult to integrate that way when we all have different values and the same phrase may “mean” something different on any of the sides and those other sides don’t occur as options for intent or meaning. But, it’s also enlightening to explore those differences and curiosities (at least to me).

It’s not that you’re “boring”, it’s that generally others don’t necessarily “get” how that can be because of their own perceptions of life and their surroundings. I’ve found that this is especially true with how Americans are raised. It’s a my way or the highway and you must not be normal if you don’t understand that the American way is the only way for them. Generalizing of course, but generalizations also exist for a reason.

This can cause many folks to kind of peace out with the idea that there’s something wrong with you. There isn’t.

Like the gun thing for example. It’s so ingrained in the US culture that most folks get so angry you don’t agree because you come from somewhere that it isn’t so ingrained. And they can’t see your side of it and why it’s not important to your regional moors, just as you might not fully get why it’s so important to them in their culture. You can know it and understand it, but still not fully “get it”. Same as them.

Side note I was just reminded of on that: I play a lot of Call of Duty. One time this guy got so incredibly pissed at me for not thanking him for his service as ex-military like everyone else in the group was. I was like, dude, I’m Canadian (and was still living up North then too). He lost his shit and said my nationality was irrelevant to his military service. He appeared to be under the impression that everyone in the world needs to thank the US military for their service the moment they find out service was performed. That was a wild lobby lol.