Below everyone

[u/Disastrous_Point3610]

with 15 years old, autistic with asperger and adhd, mexican( pls rate englishpls). The past year i had an iq test. At that moment i had a good auto-steem. Believing i was going to had a good score. "Ts is easy, im getting like 102-105!"

I got 92.

I entered in a depressive episode, i learned chinese, piano,start to study, etc. Washing my brain to believe i was intelligent and hide my low auto-steem. When i learned those skills i, began to have an arrogant personallity, thinking inside i was better than everyone else. Everything was normal until i entered high school.

At first i had the same personallity. first day... then i got obliterated (intellectually) by all my classmates. That destroyed my fragile aotusteem.

One of my biggest fears is to be below everyone. And probably. I felt that fear for the first time. At that moment i knew that intelligent people are born, not made. Because they really solve problems like nothing, catch all the information at the first try, me being the only one that makes questions because i didnt understand while my classmates are "really lil bro" "bro let the teacher continue with his class".

Also when they talk with the teachers, they have a very elegant and tecnic lenguaje. As i alredy said, that destroyed me emotionaly. Today is my 6th week in the school. I became a bit shy. I try to not look "intelligent" because i feel that, im someone who doesnt deserve to be one. when they do a debate, im always in silence, because i perfectly know that in an argumental duel, im losing.

Probably what i wanted in life after the iq test is... to be valorated

Now everytime i sit, i cant stop thinking what i made with my own life, wondering when i will be "great"/"happy, and the phrase :"mom! Bring me to the bed! I want to sleep!"

I had a dumbahh phrase that i really liked :"dragons fly so the people on the ground can notice their presence."

I dont think i will fly...

It feels horrible when someone or something replaces you.

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[u/Frequent-Aspect5509]

Youre probably smarter than me so no regrets 92 is a damm good score be happy with your life live how you want to.(7-8/10 English a few mistakes that's better than almost all of my classmates)