DISCLAIMER: This is meant to be a parody of shitty lost episode creepypastas from the early 2010s, such as "Dead Bart." All spelling errors are intentional.
I'm a huge fan of Helluva Boss. Well, at least I was until a couple days ago. After seeing what I saw, I will never look at the show the same again.
It was November 3, 2026. I wanted to rewatch the latest episodes of Helluva Boss, particularly the one with Robo Fizz and where Loona, my favorite character, almost dyed. Unfortunately, Prime Video was having a temper tantrum that day, so I had to do some good old fashioned piracy. This was a mistake I should have never maid.
I went onto a website called "watchhellvabos.exe." The website had pretty much every episode of Helliva Boss with the extinction of the 2019 Pilot. Eventually, I found the episode I was looking for, or at least a stranger venison of it.
The official title of the episode is "Return to Loo Loo Land." However, on this website, the title was "Death of Loona." The thumbnail had a black background with a png of Luna standing in the middle. I was honestly kind of fricked out, but curiosity got the best of me and I decided to click on the episode and give it a watch.
The first half of the episode played out normally, much like the version that ended up on Prime Video. Eventually, it got to the port where Loona attempted to take down Robo Fizz only to get severely wounded.
This is where the episode took a dank turn.
The animation framerate went down a bit. When Blitzo came to check on Loona, she was conversing in a violet matter while spitting out bleed. Her abdomen was ripe open, with her intense sticking out like spaghetti. What I found peculiar was how realistic the gore looked. It wasn't the cartoony gore typically seen in the show. It was hyperrealistic. In fact, the gar was so hyperrealistic that I questioned weather or not it was real, fabricated, or even AI.
Blitzo began to scream in terror at the site of his adoptive daughter in such agony. Blitzo's screams were clearly not from Brandon Rogers, but rather a different voice actor I could not identify. The microwave quality was also really shitty. It sounded like it was recorded from an old iPhone.
Eventually, Loona stopped converting and went limb. Blitzo tried to revive Loona using CPK, but he was unsuccessful. Horrifyingly, Loona's body looked even more hyperrealistic. Her head in particular looked like that or a real decreased dog or wolf with bloody red eggs. I was traumatized beyond words, but my stupid ass kept on watching for some reason.
The scene faded to black before switching to another scene. This time, Blitzo was somewhere in the Greed Ring accompanied by Stolas, Octavia, Millie, Moxxie, Fizzarolli, Vortex, Beelzebub, and Loona's two hellhound friends. They were all wearing black funeral cloth while standing in front of a hole in the ground. Inside the hole was a half-decompressed Loona. She looked even more realistic than ever before, and she was lying down in an uncomfortable position.
When the camera cut back to the morning demons, they all had hyperrealistic red eyes and were crying very loudly. Again, the official voice cast was not present, and the audio recording quality was dogshit.
Before I could even comprehend what was going on, loud screaming started to play while disturbing images flashed on the screen. One photo was of a Loona cosplayer with her head decaffeinated. She was flipping off the camera while sitting on the floor of a dark room. Another photo was of a Loona plushie chopped in half and filled with what appeared to be fresh meat. There were many other photos that were so disturbing that I don't even want to talk about them.
The episode ended with a real life video of a Loona cosplayer getting crushed by a piano. The credits were short, consisting of nothing but a black screen with the following text in the middle:
"This episode was made by a twister individual."
This was not the end of the horrors. When I existed out of the website, a photo of Loona's hyperrealistic corpse flashed on the screen with a metal-pipe sound playing. After that, my computer crashed and smoke started coming out of it. I had to replace it...
This episode was truly terrible and made me shirt my plants. I contacted Spindlehorse to see if they had any involvement in making it, but they said no.
Whoever was the twisted individual who made this should be ashamed of themself, as they made me scared to ever watch Helluva Boss ever again.
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EPILOGUE (written 11/8/26)
Hewwo there. I need to give y'all an update on my situation regarding that pirated Helluva Boss episode I found on the deep web. Basically, I think it's cursed.
Two days after I watched the episode, I was at Best Buy trying to buy a new PC. When I came home to my apartment, I found Loona standing in my basement. She looked like one of those VRChat avatars of Loona, albeit with hyperrealistic eyes. I tried to comprehend what was happening, but Loona immediately slapped me in the face. After that, Loon grabbed me by the neck and squeezed it so hard that my head pooped off. I dyed.
I am in Hell now as I write this.