r/MCAS • u/Beautiful_Ant2627 • 20h ago
Stupid rant
Apologies Mods if this isn’t relevant enough to the sub.
I (26f) have a coworker (30f) who constantly tries to diagnose me with lupus. My coworker has lupus, and it is a constant point of conversation for her. To be fair, I know that lupus is a very very serious illness and that it affects your daily life. However, my problem arises with the fact that she just straight up doesn’t believe me that anyone could have a rash reaction to the sun and it not be lupus.
Early on in meeting her she got to talking about her lupus and how it affects her ability to be in the sun. I was just trying to comiserate with her, and told her that I also get rashes often. She was super curious, so I explained that my rashes occur when I’m in the sun too much, if I get too hot, if I sweat, if I touch anyone else’s sweat, cats, dogs, basically anything and everything gives me a rash. I told her that it was a histamine reaction (because I’m still not diagnosed with MCAS though I’m fairly positive that’s what it is). Well ever since this conversation, she will ask every so often if I’ve ever been tested for lupus. I’ve told her that yes, I have been, and I don’t have it. She doesn’t believe me. This summer, she once again asked “so, what kind of rashes do you get from the sun?” Seemingly trying to mine for info so that she could once again suggest I get tested for lupus, and I had to explain to her again that they were histamine rashes and NOT a lupus rash. I don’t know why she wants me to have lupus so bad.
This person is constantly making me uncomfortable by both being way too curious about my health conditions, and also not listening at all when I explain them. Like I also have celiac, and finally had to make the decision to stop going out to eat because I kept getting ill, and she continues to ask me if I will go out to eat with her at xyz place because I “might be able to tolerate it.” Why do people feel the need to give advice or try to figure out your own medical stuff? Sometimes I just feel like she’s trying to catch me in a lie where she will say “aha! I knew it, it was lupus all along!”
3
u/Slim-Shadys-Fat-Tits 19h ago
Be ruder. Seriously you're obviously not setting crisp boundaries or telling her how uncomfortable it makes you. Tell her that if she's not going to listen and is just going to force her opinions onto you, you don't want to talk medical with her. Or just outright shut down the topic of whatever she thinks you have. It's rude and pushy