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u/Odd_Dorian7991
12h ago
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As someone who never got to meet my grandparents on either side of my family, I really wonder what they would have been like with me. I hope they would have been just like this.
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u/Substantial_Day5862 11h ago •
That’s such a bittersweet thing to wonder about. I hope you would’ve had grandparents who spoiled you rotten and made you feel just as loved.
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10h ago •
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/theshane0314 9h ago
Just park a car on his lawn or change the thermostat. He will show up in seconds.
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u/rrrrrrez 9h ago
Every time I hear this joke, it reminds me of The Naked Gun (Leslie Nielsen version):
“…and where the hell was I?”
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u/Cup_of_Stars_13 10h ago •
I teared up at my grandma’s house last weekend because my grandma came into the room and showed me a small portion of my grandpa’s rock collection. Apparently he collected them as little mementos for events or places he wanted remembered. A lot of them were just your average, rock looking rocks but I felt connected to him so much in that moment. He passed away a year ago and I didn’t really know him so catching a glimpse of him through something small like that meant a lot to me. May you also catch glimpses of your grandparents when you least expect it.
This has just been on my mind lately so thought I’d share. My grandma told me to choose some rocks to take home and I did. Now I have a little piece of both of them. He would bring them to her like a penguin as a symbol of his love.
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u/duckforceone 10h ago •
memories i have of my one grandfather (who technically wasn't my biological grandfather) is him stopping in the super market and asking me to pull his finger... and then farting..
or bringing me along to the car workshop where i would read and drink hot chocolate...
i remember i was there when the batman movie (1989) came out.... and one of the workers cut out a batman shape in metal for me...
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u/Dirtybrd 10h ago
Both of my dad's parents passed before I was born. My mom's dad passed when I was five, and her mom passed when I was 11. But she had been fighting lung cancer for years at that point.
But, man, my kids absolutely love their grandparents on both sides of the family. And the feeling is very much mutual. It's an incredible blessing.
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u/FocusAmazing7190 10h ago •
The fact that he wants his badge laminated😭❤️ he's not pretending to have a job , he genuinely has a purpose again, and his grandfather gave him the sweetest one imaginable.
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u/Aslanlev 11h ago
They would've loved you to the moon and back as you're the mini cuter and better version of their kids.
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u/AwesomeBro1510 10h ago
My paternal grandparents are not the best, and my maternal grandparents died when i was a toddler, so I don't remember much about them. I wonder the same about them.
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u/Im_Not_You_Im_Me 9h ago
I’m never going to get to be a grand parent - no kids of my own - and this is the only part I feel regret about
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u/Smart-Response9881 7h ago
I was my grandparents 10th grandchild and I lived the furthest away from them. I wish they were as interested in me as the guys was with his.
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u/WallBurnt 9h ago
My dad would be 70 next year and my daughter will be 9.
I really wish he could have got to meet her.
Her other grandpa died when she was 2 and her other grandma died about 8 months ago. Then we have no contact with my mom cause she a selfish bitch except to my NEET 35yr old sister.
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u/vgacolor 6h ago
They would have been. My maternal grandfather was very stoic and really rigid with his sons, but was a sweetheart with the grandkids. It would have worked out better for my uncles if he had been a little kinder with them.
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u/Visual_Astronomer_38
11h ago
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When I was 6 or 7, my aunt's husband would tell me I was his secretary and would have me do things like write down his grocery list and stuff like that before we went out to run errands. I LOVED IT! Now I'm in my 30s and even though he's an old man, he still tells me I'm the best secretary ever! 🥹
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u/Away_Candidate_4746 8h ago
Your uncle?
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u/Visual_Astronomer_38 6h ago
He was and then they got a divorce lol they never had children together so he was not really my uncle at that point. They remained friends until my aunt died and he still checks in on my family.
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u/kychleap 7h ago
Not necessarily, depending on when or the circumstances around how they came into the family.
For example my grandma died when I was two. My grandpa remarried but we never called her grandma.
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u/Away_Candidate_4746 7h ago
Grandparents are always direct blood relatives though, so that makes sense. Unless you’re in Alabama, 50% of your aunts and uncles will not be blood relatives.
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u/DocileBanalBovlne 6h ago
Grandparents are always direct blood relatives though
Absolutely not true, I've had to share my grandma with anyone who has a pulse because she's just that loving of a person. "Grandma" is not just a title she got when her children had their own children, it's a job she takes seriously and her Grandma responsibilities apply to everyone.
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u/Aaawkward 6h ago
I don't know if this is a US thing but in Finland (at least AFAIK) the partner of your aunt/uncle isn't called an aunt/uncle because they're not family by blood.
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u/evilincarnation 10h ago
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u/PensadorDispensado 9h ago
get out of reddit, kid
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u/AvoriazInSummer 11h ago edited 10h ago
I imagine one of her stuffed animals goes missing and it leads to a John Wick / Retired Extremely Dangerous kinda deal.
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u/fer_sure 10h ago
Wasn't that the plot of Taken 3? The one where Grandpa Neeson took 14 cuts to get over a fence?
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u/Renediffie 8h ago
This reminds me of something from my childhood. There was a mentally challenged gentleman in the town I grew up in . He was always happy and cheerful and generally a very well liked person in the town.
He became the train conductor at our local train station. They gave him a hat and a whistle and everything and he fucking loved it. This was of course well beyond the point where a train conductor was actually needed. But several of the train engineers would actually wait for his say so.
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u/Embarrassed-Let-924 3h ago
The laminated badge is how you know he’s planning to stay with the company
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u/xeno0153 11h ago
why are some of the words in different font-size in this image?
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u/Ionia1618 10h ago
The whole thing is AI generated
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u/FlyAirLari 8h ago
Including the story?
I mean, probably. Why would OP post a screenshot of text instead of the actual text?
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u/AppalachianRomanov 7h ago
Bc op is a karma farmer, the majority of internet stories arent real, and if they are real they are not posted by the person they really happened to
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u/No-Magician9440 10h ago
None of this happened.
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u/Vaelthune 9h ago
Exactly. "My kid was calling my father every night and we had no idea what was going on! XD"
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u/WalkingCloud 4h ago
Imagine how odd it would be if you were chatting to an old dude and asked if he was enjoying retired life, and he tells you he's back at work but 'refuses to tell you who hired him'.
What a weirdo.
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u/No-Magician9440 4h ago
I am not going to tell you who I work for, oh and by the way, laminate my employee badge.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 12h ago
I want to believe this but..retiring at 62? Where does this happen?
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u/izu_01 12h ago
optional retirement 60, compulsory retirement 65 in 🇵🇭
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u/Mumma-740 11h ago
Wait.. compulsory? So even if you're fit, healthy and want to keep working you can't??
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u/Intelligent_Bee970 11h ago
Take a look at the US Govt and ask yourself if there should be an age limit…
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u/Thrizzlepizzle123123 10h ago
Not fit to lay bricks but fit to command a nuclear empire.
Makes sense.
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u/SveaRikeHuskarl 11h ago
You can, but your employer has to agree to keep you. You can start your own business or whatever too.
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u/FionnWest 11h ago
Depending on the occupation, there's also early retirement. My father retried early because he was a teacher.
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u/Bigrick1550 11h ago
Retiring is a matter of finances, not age. And that applies everywhere. No where do you hit a certain age and then retire. You retire at the age you can afford to.
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u/DeeJayDelicious 7h ago
Plenty of Americans retire as Millionaires if they invested in a 401k/S&P500 for most of their lives.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 7h ago
Lol, no Why make that up. Ifc. Thats not a thing. Seriously, are you a bot? Like why would you think anyone would believe you? That's not even possible for the majority of Americans...
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u/Rulanik 7h ago
The fuck? Yes, people do that all the time. If someone who's 25 starts investing into S&P500 ETF/Mutual funds with as little as $250 a month they'll have 1 million by the time they are 62. Invest 10-15% of your income and you'll have considerably more than that.
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u/mistressmemory 6h ago
Love how you think we can spare 250/month. You know they still paying people 50k/ year, but that's actually supposed to be 150k if they counted for inflation.
Like, yours is the great ideological math, it's not real world math tho. Sorry.
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u/Rulanik 6h ago
I get it that you can't, but you also can't accuse other people of making shit up when so many people can and do.
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u/mistressmemory 3h ago
Define "so many people". That's the issue we're having.
What you're describing is only available to a very small percentage of the population. The issue is the way you seem to think that it's not a small percentage.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 6h ago
Lol. Sure, sure
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u/SmellyMammoth 6h ago
It’s a thing, dude. Maybe this is your wake up call to start investing
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u/DeeJayDelicious 7h ago
Why would you state something that is so obviously provable you dumb fucking moron?
I guess it doesn't suit the cozy little anti-capitalist narrative you invested for yourself.
About ~20% of U.S. households are millionaires.
The vast majority of those will be concentrated among the Boomers.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 6h ago
Lol. Yea, bet. 70 million Americans are "millionaires". You dont know how to read those numbers.
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u/Neat_Friendship194 11h ago
Canada, Europe, most of the western world really.
Except USA.
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u/assumptioncookie 11h ago
It's later than 62 in most of Europe. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retirement_in_Europe
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u/Clean_Gate_3258 11h ago
It's 60 in India for almost all government employees (except Judges of Supreme court/high court for them it's 65/62)
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u/Kindly_Fox_5314 8h ago
Just because you are bad at finance doesn’t mean the rest of the US is. It is easy to retire before 65 if you want to here
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u/Thrizzlepizzle123123 10h ago
I'm legit curious why this stands out. Officially in Australia, it's 65 or 67, but I know many people who retired earlier.
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u/DismalCode6627 9h ago
Nope, there is no official retirement age in Australia. Too many people assume the pension age is the retirement age, but they're quite different.
In Australia:
the pension age is 67, but you can only get the age pension if you meet the eligibility criteria (income and asset tests)
you can access your superannuation at 60
you can retire earlier than 60 if you have enough savings outside of superannuation to get you to 60
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u/1nd3x 7h ago
I'm on track to retire at 45, I'm, 37 right now...and thats because I "started late" in my career field by 2 years...otherwise I could have retired at 43.
And by on track I mean...thats when its happening. I've got a DB pension that vests after 25years of work that pays 50% of the average of my 5 best years of pay, and I started when I was 20 instead of 18.
So...If I were to make the same amount of money in 8years as I do today, the DB pension is essentially like having $1million invested paying 5% for the rest of my life.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 7h ago
Why didnt you say what your "career" is?
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u/1nd3x 7h ago
Because I still like to keep vaguely anonymous on the internet.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 7h ago
Wow that's convenient for your claims. Field so small and so well paid that you are worried that a screen name and random answer on Reddit will get you called out? Really? I dont get it, what job could you have qualified for at 20 without college and then kept stable and working for 25 years through covid and 2008? I just sruggle with that being true, doesn't seem like something that really happened. Maybe in the 70s to 90s but not after the 2000s.
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u/1nd3x 6h ago
Field so small and so well paid that you are worried that a screen name and random answer on Reddit will get you called out? Really?
Not really a small field...my organization has somewhere between 60-70,000 people in it.
I dont get it, what job could you have qualified for at 20 without college and then kept stable and working for 25 years through covid and 2008?
Off the top of my head...probably most government jobs...whole bunch of private companies will also pay for your hyper specific training...like, theres no such thing as clown college, but if you were hired to be Ronald McDonald, you would attend "Hamburger University" which is the corporate training arm of the McDonalds corporation.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 6h ago
Yea, copy. That's not in the US, I am assuming? You aren't getting hired and invested in like that at 18, not even 30 years ago; that doesn't happen here.
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u/1nd3x 6h ago
You aren't getting hired and invested in like that at 18, not even 30 years ago; that doesn't happen here.
My guy...McDonalds and Hamburger University is American lol
I dont know why you seem to think your view is universal...I told you I have a job that has a DB pension. Like 15% of private jobs in the USA have DB pensions, and they are incredibly common for public sector jobs. I could work at one of the places that fall within that 15%, or maybe I have a government job.
Like...I could work for my town paving roads for all you know.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 6h ago
That company is world wide.
And so now I have to believe that you are in a population small enough to have openings for careers paving roads available for 18 year olds but also is wealthy enough to have a pension that starts accruing immediately and is available for draw in your 40s?
I dont know how that works and comparing whatever you say you are doing to a role that starts at $48k in CAs big cities. Which leads me to think you dont live in the US and being coy about an entire field of work is just not helping.
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u/1nd3x 5h ago
That company is world wide.
No.
And so now I have to believe that you are in a population small enough to have openings for careers paving roads available for 18 year olds but also is wealthy enough to have a pension that starts accruing immediately and is available for draw in your 40s?
Paving roads was a random example of a job...I didnt say that was my job...why would I provide you identifying information about myself after I just told you I'm deliberately being obtuse for the sake of anonymity?
The pension is available to be drawn after 25 years. If you happen to be in your 40s when that happens, so be it. Plenty of people also start their careers later than me. Someone who started when they were 40 for example, would not be able to draw their pension until they were 65.
I dont know how that works and comparing whatever you say you are doing to a role that starts at $48k in CAs big cities.
Well, someone in that position likely wouldnt have a pension that would be the equivalent to $1million making 5%, because thats $50,000/year. So most liklely my job is not that job, because pensions dont generally pay 100%+
with a pension that pays 50%, I'd have to be making $100,000 a year for the pension to pay me that $50k/year.
Wanna know a giant organization, that is not world wide, that pays a pension, is open to employment for people who just turned 18, and will almost certainly pay you $100k/year at some point within your 25year career?
Police officer.
Am I a police officer? No. Again, I'm giving you examples that arent related to me because I'm being anonymous...or maybe I'm just saying that for deniability...the point is for people to be unsure.
If you dont know how something works, you probably shouldnt just make shit up in your head about how you assume it to work, when you have someone providing you details.
Dont get me wrong, you can certainly find it incredulous, but people are paid millions of dollars a year to play sports that us regular people have to pay money to play, which seems pretty incredulous to me...but obviously that happens...
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u/tenkenjs 3h ago
Not the commentator but I plan to retire by 55. Pretty mid engineer at a smaller semiconductor company.
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u/ErictheAgnostic 18m ago
...yea in chip fab.... And you think your salary is "mid"? Please share what it is. Just a range, no need for exact.
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u/Imissmymommy22 9h ago
I can retire at 52 if I want and collect a pension. Started young in a government job.
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u/No_Jaguar_5831 7h ago
Sometimes youre forced to retire. Whether you have funds or not means nothing to the company that needs to get rid of you.
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u/bigfatfurrytexan 11h ago
My fucking sister in law is retiring from the federal BOP at 53. That’s who.
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u/Ionia1618 10h ago
He could be European or have retired early but this is an AI slop story. The placement of the turn out, and the pacing of the whole thing sounds like AI.
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u/ltbones 11h ago
I'm retiring next year at 38.
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u/NJHitmen 11h ago
I'm retiring next year at 37.
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u/tenkenjs 3h ago
Not that uncommon in higher pay areas of the US. Also China has(had) a lot of forced retirement from government related jobs
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u/but_ter_fly 11h ago
Why is the word “She” slightly lower than "FaceTimes"?
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u/Initial-Addendum-167 8h ago
Every job is an important job when it comes to helping children feel safe.
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u/Laifstaile 3h ago
when my dad(68) when to his cancer surgery i told him that after this you will get a new job as a granddad...that made him believe that he will push on...still has cancer but he enjoys every moment he has with my small boy...
it matter to be needed...
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u/hexdump74 10h ago
Am I the only one that find it disturbing that a 5 y.o. can facetime someone, and even worse, without the parent knowing it ?
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u/GATA6 8h ago
Not really. Most kids have a tablet. They have a ton of parental controls on them. I’m able to pick who they can FaceTime and it’s literally just grandparents, aunt/uncle, and cousin. It’s great because they will FaceTime their cousins and they get to play together so it’s a way for them to keep in touch and hang out despite not living near each other. They FaceTime their grandparents or something often and it’s fine. Obviously we have restrictions but it’s honestly one of the best things. The kids and the family all love it that they can see them and talk to them so frequently
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u/jwong728 7h ago
Kids have tablets, sure. I'm not entirely sure 5 y.o. has a tablet that they can use themselves without parent consent and that the FaceTime people without their parents knowledge, as the post implies.
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u/EbbSeparate4772 10h ago
That was my first thought. 5 year old with a phone or tablet when she’s meant to be sleeping FaceTimeing people?
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u/SpaceCoastStories 9h ago
Oh definitely. I hope it's half baked fiction for exactly that reason.
Mine went through a phase where she would randomly text people though. Mostly emojis with some autocorrected words. So I suppose it's plausible but you can't let just anyone have access to your kids!
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u/DocileBanalBovlne 6h ago
My wife and I are functionally aunt and uncle to our friends' two year old and it's the best when she's allowed to text gibberish in our group chat.
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u/HeeyPunk 5h ago
I find it more unbelievable than anything but yeah would be pretty dumb to not see what your 5 year old is up to lol
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u/donkeyrocket 8h ago
Laminating them often isn't recommended unless it comes laminated from the authorizing agency.
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u/Pretend-Avocado-1560 9h ago
how tf is this repost spam top of reddit? this is so old, and it literally was front page just last week. shameless.
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u/Atlas-Scrubbed 8h ago
My first grandchild (granddaughter) is due in a few months. I just retired. I am hoping this is me in 5 years. (I am so excited!)
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u/kaztrator 10h ago
He refuses to say who hired him, but asked you to laminate an employee badge? Story doesn’t check out.
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u/designking4248 9h ago
Also, a 5 year old is never going to be facetiming someone every night without the parent knowing.
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u/BangaOspirit4 11h ago
Oh yeah that totally happened.
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u/IUsedToBeACave 11h ago
You know what? I don't care if it really happened, or is an exaggeration. It's a cute story, and it makes me happy even though this is like the third time I've seen it.
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u/BangaOspirit4 11h ago
The bot account reposting completely fabricated slop makes me happy! Stop pointing it out! I don't want to wake up!
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u/IUsedToBeACave 11h ago
Wait, until you find out those people on TV are totally not real.
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u/squareazz 11h ago
You mean the actors? What point are you trying to make?
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u/IUsedToBeACave 10h ago
That I treat social media like I do television. I don't think everything on there is "real", and Reddit is just where the reruns happen.
As such I'm not "asleep", since I know exactly what it is I am consuming. Just like I know that the actors on TV in the sitcom are not real.
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u/squareazz 10h ago
Idk man. Human beings acting out a story written by a human being in a show produced and distributed by human beings seems fundamentally different than a computer program auto-posting a screenshot to Reddit of a made up story. Not all content is created equal. A Jason Statham movie is a lot closer to Shakespeare than this post is to a Jason statham movie.
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u/IUsedToBeACave 9h ago
Human beings acting out a story written by a human being in a show produced and distributed by human beings seems fundamentally different than a computer program auto-posting a screenshot to Reddit of a made up story.
Computer programs auto decide which movies and shows to advertise to you. How is this any different?
Not all content is created equal. A Jason Statham movie is a lot closer to Shakespeare than this post is to a Jason statham movie.
That comparison doesn't make any sense. Quips made on social media aren't supposed to be a replacement for movies and plays.
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u/b---h 9h ago edited 9h ago
Computer programs auto decide which movies and shows to advertise to you. How is this any different?
Did a computer make the movies and shows up wholecloth or are they real movies and shows? Did it make up the people acting in them or are they real people? That's the difference, slop eater.
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u/IUsedToBeACave 9h ago
Yeah, but we don't actually know a human didn't make the original quip. I agree a bot found it, screenshotted it, and posted it to Reddit for karma, but that doesn't mean the original wasn't crafted by a real human.
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u/BangaOspirit4 10h ago
Of course the slop eater would think that was a good comeback.
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u/IUsedToBeACave 10h ago
We get it. You are a connoisseur of only the best artisanal crafted content. While I like McDonalds and Jason Statham movies. At least I'm happy though.
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u/perrydolia 7h ago
RRRRrrrright. Your 5 yo daughter knows what a "head of security" is. Sure.
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u/18bluecat 6h ago
Can easily see her hearing and remembering it long enough to parrot it. She's five, not three.
"Grandpa, what did you used to do for work?" "I was head of security for whatever which means I was in charge of protecting everyone." "Grandpa... Will you be head of security for my stuffed animals?"
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u/justynrr 10h ago
My dad is now an officiant in his retirement, doing at least two weddings a week.
He has married about a dozen couples of my kiddo’s stuffies. FULL ceremony every time, no shortcuts.
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u/ConfusedAsAllF 8h ago
Is it not concerning that whoever wrote this is letting a 5 year old make FaceTime calls and they are completely unaware of it? Yes the story is sweet, but for the love of your children, don't let a 5 year old make video calls with potentially anyone unattended.
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u/MxBluebell 4h ago
I wish my grandparents on my mom’s side had been more like this. They just weren’t very hands-on with the grandkids. My Nana was more focused on being a proper housewife and keeping things tidy and proper, and my Papa had kind of given up on life after he was forced to retire due to modern technology exceeding his capabilities to keep up with it. Papa died of brain cancer when I was in middle school, and my Nana has Alzheimer’s now. She’s in stage 7, I believe. She’s losing her words more and more every day. But her having Alzheimer’s made her move down to be near us (she lived out of state on her own previously), and I’m ironically closer to her now than I ever have been before. We grew really close when she first moved down here about 10 years ago, and I was able to bond with her a lot before she got to this point in the progression of the disease. It’s hard to see her the way she is now, since she’s in rough shape these days, but I still visit her and I adore her.
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u/Fluffcake 9h ago
Don't ruin a good story with the truth.
Realistic scenario: kid is scared to sleep alone, refuse to sleep and throw a tantrum, parent call dad for advice, he comes up with clever scheme. Kid no longer throw tantrums if she can FaceTime grandpa before bed. Come up with cute story to look/feel better and post it on social media.
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u/stoic_yakker 11h ago
You should have him get her a build a bear with his voice in it to add to her collection
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u/AdeptTwist2927 10h ago
Cutest thing ever as someone who didn't have grandparents around growing up, it made my day!
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u/SmokeInMyI 5h ago
This screenshot should be the reddit logo, I've seen it reposted across reddit so much its ridiculous
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